Anne de Bourgh winced at the memory of the pain those persons had caused her cousins. Especially George Wickham. At least Esmerelda Kirkwood had not preyed on children, but Wickham had nearly ruined Georgiana Darcy at the tender age of thirteen.
“The Bennets have no money. Their estate is legally entailed to male heirs only… in fact, Rosing’s own Mr. Collins is the Bennet heir. It is not just that… I stupidly acknowledged that her family was socially inferior, but it was an allowance I was willing to make.”
“Well, then, Miss Elizabeth Bennet is correct. You are arrogant… and the world’s greatest idiot. I cannot imagine that her family is any worse than our own. Mama is quite impossible. That is why I have resorted to finding my own amusements. Perhaps one day I shall elope to Gretna Green with a man who knows nothing of my social status. Even if it turned out badly, at least it would be for love for a little while.”
“You are far braver than I could ever be. I only hope that when Elizabeth reads this, she will understand and find it possible to forgive me.”
“If she doesn’t toss it in the fire first.”
“Always the optimist dear cousin.”
“Optimism has never been my friend. Actions speak far louder than words.”
Darcy did indeed act, but only so far as to see the letter personally delivered. He felt like a criminal as he watched Elizabeth through the parlor window of the vicarage. Having discovered that she was to return home the next day, the possibility of reconciliation was not to be, but he would at least be able to gauge her reaction. At first, her face bore a countenance of contempt as she tore open the paper, but after a few moments reading, Elizabeth dropped from her standing battle stance into a chair. With both hands covering her eyes, he could see that she wept. Unable to provide consolation without giving away his invasion of privacy, it was with the greatest relief to see her tears. So, she did feel something for him… even if it was pity, it was enough for now. It gave him time to repair the damage he had done. Spurring his horse, Darcy vowed to find a way to bring Charles Bingley back to Jane Bennet, and himself to Elizabeth.
~ Seventeen~
As Darcy headed towards London, Elizabeth Bennet, now recovered from her initial shock, made her own journey back to Longbourn. She felt terrible for having misjudged Mr. Darcy. Why could she not have seen that his demeanor was shyness, a trait possessed by two of her own sisters. Thinking of Jane, who had spent hours crying when she believed no one could hear, Elizabeth contemplated how to share the letter. In it, Darcy had promised to do his best to reconcile Jane and Bingley, but perhaps Bingley’s own feelings had changed? Jane deserved a man who would act upon his own feelings and not be persuaded by another. However, Elizabeth did understand the problem of fortune hunters. Money was a necessary evil, and if one was without, it could result in terrible actions. Reflecting upon her previous encounters with Lieutenant Wickham, Elizabeth could now see how easy it was for him to manipulate with charm. But, if Darcy’s words were true, then why would the man give any of the Bennets the slightest attention? They had nothing to offer but themselves. Why couldn’t marriage be for love alone? Unfortunately, she knew the answer for that. One must eat, be clothed and housed. Her own mother’s sense of self preservation had pushed her towards a man who would have made her miserable, yet Charlotte had eagerly accepted him despite the consequence. Was she selfish in wanting happiness? Now, as the carriage rolled into the final mile, a quiver of fear mixed with despair threatened to overtake her thoughts. At nearly one and twenty years of age, time would run out for any offer of marriage and then what would become of her? Of her sisters? None of the Bennet girls had been prepared for any occupation aside from wife and mother. Prospects were dim for older unmarried women in their situation. A paid companion to wealthy widows, or governess to another’s children was all that existed, and still, she had turned down a man in possession of ten thousand a year. Shaking her head, Elizabeth forced the melancholy thoughts away and strengthened her resolve. She would marry for love or not at all, and she did not love Mr. Darcy. Repeating this vow aloud, it somehow seemed false. Unable to apologize for her misguided prejudice, Elizabeth’s own heart hurt. What must he think of her now?
As the carriage reached its destination, Elizabeth’s examination of her thoughts ceased as she was met by the bouncing forms of her younger sisters. Of Jane and her mother, there was no sign. It was clear that life at Longbourn had not changed with her absence. Stepping down, Elizabeth was assaulted by demands for her opinion.
“Lizzie! It isn’t fair! Mama lets Lydia do everything. Tell her I must be allowed to go too,” Kitty Bennet cried.
A smug Lydia, preening the fit of a new dress, put her nose in the air as a sullen Mary rolled her eyes in contempt.
“Yes, Lizzie, convince Mama that they must both go to Brighton. I for one should enjoy the silence,” Mary added.
“Brighton? Why is anyone going there?”
Elizabeth’s bewilderment, caused by the onslaught of questions, did not cease as they entered the house. Where was her mother and Jane? However, Lydia was not to be kept silent, and boasted of her favor.
“I am. Colonel Forster’s wife considers me her particular friend and has invited me to stay while the regiment is stationed in Brighton. Mama says I may go, but Papa has not given his approval. But now that you are home, I know you will convince him. He listens to you.”
Elizabeth sighed. She hated playing the peacemaker, but it would do all of them a world of good to be without Lydia for a time. Her constant idle chatter only caused discontent.
“I will not interfere with this, where is Jane and Mama?”
“Oh, they are in town, Aunt and Uncle Gardiner are planning a trip to the Lake district, and Jane has volunteered to care for the children. Ugh! All those sticky fingers! I refused to go anywhere near them. They would ruin my new gown. Do you like it? I had the worst time finding matching ribbons.”
Mollified that noting unfortunate had removed Jane from Longbourn, Elizabeth only nodded and went to greet her father. It had been far to long since she had enjoyed his calming presence. Mr. Bennet would advise her in regards to Darcy’s divulgence of Wickham’s character. Closeted in his library, Elizabeth closed the door to shut out her sisters and embraced the older man. The smell of tobacco and peppermints provided a consistent memory of being held upon her father’s knee and being allowed to tug at his beard. But she was no longer a child, and the purpose of her visit was serious.
“Welcome home Lizzie. I trust your visit was a pleasant one? Charlotte is far better suited to Mr. Collins than you, although I still pity any woman married to the likes of him.”
“She is well, and claims to be content with her situation. I am happy for her, but I fear that I have much to tell you of others that is not so pleasant.”
Elizabeth handed her father the letter and anxiously waited while he read. Alternatively, his countenance changed from one of utter surprise to disgust and then finally what almost appeared to be amusement. Returning the letter, Mr. Bennet looked at his favorite child curiously.
“I cannot say that I am surprised to hear about Wickham. That young man left many a Meryton merchant wanting payment on the accounts he had run. For a time, I believed that he had set his cap for you, but he has fortunately moved on with the regiment. It appears we have escaped his schemes. As for the other young lady…. London is abound with penniless, but titled persons of either sex that are willing to enter a loveless marriage. Of that lot, I am greatly relieved to know you are not among. Did you really turn Mr. Darcy down?”
“I am afraid it goes far worse than that… I called him arrogant and prideful. But as you can see, he had only the best of intentions, even if it resulted in poor Jane’s misery. Papa, what should I do?”
Mr. Bennet massaged his temples for a moment. Had he all male children would the stress be any less great? Daughters required protection, and he had failed. Now all he could do was watch as they either showed sense or folly.
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“I am afraid Lizzie, that is an answer I cannot give. If Mr. Bingley does indeed love our Jane, he will return. As for Mr. Darcy, he will do the same, but have your opinions about him changed?”
“I… I don’t know exactly, only that I no longer despise him.”
“Well that is something in itself. Time will tell… but time will not release me from the constant badgering of your mother and sister. The house will know no peace unless Lydia is allowed to go to Brighton. I only hope that Colonel Forster is a better chaperone than his wife. She is just as silly as Lydia.”
“Agreed… but what of Kitty? She will be very upset.”
“I am aware, but I believe there is hope for Kitty yet. When she is parted from Lydia, I find that her company is nearly tolerable.”
Elizabeth laughed. It was good to be home. Now if only the face of a certain gentleman would leave her thoughts, but that was not so easy.
~Eighteen~
While Elizabeth Bennet enjoyed being home, it was only a temporary stay. Invited by her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner to accompany them north on holiday, she accepted with pleasure. Always having a love of new places, it was an opportunity not to be lost. So, on the same day that her youngest sister Lydia waved from the Forster carriage as it bore her south to Brighton, Elizabeth rode alongside her mother’s brother and his wife.
“I am pleased you decided to join us. Your uncle has plans to do a great deal of fishing. It is a sport I cannot seem to enjoy, but you have always held an affection. Your companionships is most welcome.”
“I appreciate the offer. Are we not going near your childhood home?”
“Yes, we shall take rooms in Lambton. It is a beautiful place, with many walking paths amongst the great houses. Some of the homes go back as far as William the Conqueror, but Pemberley is by far the most magnificent. They offer tours when the family is not in residence. Shall we see how the other half lives?”
Lizzie only nodded and laughed, but the knowledge that Mr. Darcy’s estate was going to be nearby sent a feeling of apprehension through her being. What was his home like? Was it a comfortable residence filled with love, or a cold museum where no one dared to smile? Aunt Gardiner herself had come from considerable money. Marrying Elizabeth’s uncle had been a love match, only tolerated by her father due to his own admiration for those who studied law. As an attorney, Uncle Gardiner was respectable, but far from even Lizzie’s father’s status. Either way, Elizabeth often envied their relationship, it was one of complete devotion. Would she be so fortunate?
*****
Unaware that the object of his desire moved closer to his home, Darcy traveled in the opposite direction. By early afternoon of the morning he left Rosings, Darcy was admitted to the Bingley townhome. Expecting to hold a private conversation with Charles, he was dismayed and worried when Caroline Bingley informed him of her brother’s whereabouts.
“He has been drowning his sorrows at White’s for the past month. I only see him when his presence is required at the more important social functions. Even then, it takes great pains to sober him up. We never should have taken that country house. Who would believe that a simple girl like Jane Bennet would have such an effect on him? It is best he forgets her, but not at the expense of his health and reputation. My brother is quickly becoming known as a sot.”
“And you have done nothing about this? Really Caroline!”
“What would you have me do? He always slinks of to White’s to drink himself silly. I have tried sending a manservant, but Charles simply orders him away. I could hardly go there myself, you know very well that White’s never lets a woman cross their holy threshold, even the queen herself cannot enter.”
Darcy rolled his eyes. Gender protocols had a habit of being rather inconvenient. Many a gentleman had sought the solace of various clubs for this exact purpose. It was often the only escape from female demands. For a moment, he pondered paying for a membership as a gift to Elizabeth’s father. Surely the man needed it. However, that could wait for a future as yet to be determined. He needed to get Charles back home. Never a man to favor excessive drink, the idiot was probably out of his senses.
“I shall retrieve him immediately. This cannot continue.”
“Please do, we have a rather important dinner party tonight that simply cannot be missed. It is at Lord Atherton’s. Everyone of any consequence will be there. Our family has only held business connections until now, this will be the first invitation of a social nature. We must be there.”
Darcy sighed, while he understood the significance of maintaining one’s business relations on a more intimate level, he knew that Caroline’s demands were purely selfish. The acquaintances made by such an event would allow her entry into a more titled circle of society, some even beyond his own significant reach. Taking his leave, it was less than an hour later that he stood before the inebriated form of Charles Bingley. Having taken a room at the club, he lay half dressed and snoring across the bed. One boot remained attached to its appendage, the other was no where to be seen. Ringing for a steward, Darcy ordered a bath and plenty of coffee before planting his own foot against Charles’ backside.
“Wake up man!”
“Wha?? Leave me be unless you have some good brandy.”
“You have had quite enough. There will be no more of that if you want any chance at convincing Jane Bennet to marry you.”
To this announcement, Charles struggled to sit upright. The golden curls and smiling face of his Jane were something he had tried to forget. With head spinning, he grasped the bedpost for support as his stomach threatened to revolt.
“Is she here? Is Miss Bennet actually here? I thought you did not approve of her, or her family.”
“No, she is not here, and that is a good thing. I would hate to see her reaction if she saw you now. By God, you stink! When was the last time you bathed? As for Miss Bennet’s family, if you are willing to accept them, then I have no objection… why? Do you require my permission?”
“No! Of course not, but I should still like your approval. What has caused this sudden change?”
By now, Charles had begun to search the chamber for his discarded clothing. A knock at the door admitted a bevy of servants bringing hot water and toweling, followed by a cart continuing food and steaming coffee.
“I shall explain while you make yourself presentable. Have you forgotten your invitation to Atherton’s? Caroline cannot attend alone and your absence would be suspect to gossip if it has not already. By now, all of London believes you a drunkard.”
“Oh dear… do you suppose it has reached Jane? I know she called at the townhouse, but Caroline refused to see her. I was so angry when I discovered it. Surely Jane returned my affections to come so far…”
“I have it on good authority that she does…for some reason unknown to me, Miss Jane Bennet loves you.”
“But you said…. You said she displayed no apparent affection. She was simply a fortune seeker. You still have not said what made you have a change of opinion.”
“I…I must confess to possessing great errors in judgement. Ones that may have resulted in your unhappiness. Not only do I owe you my deepest apology, but also Miss Jane, and her sister Elizabeth as well. Tell me truthfully Charles, am I arrogant? Prideful?”
Charles Bingley halted in his hasty ablution. What had so transformed the man he considered his best friend? Did he harbor true feelings for Elizabeth Bennet?
“Prideful? No, but you do come away to strangers as arrogant. It is your scowling. I have often suggested that you smile more. It would soften your natural air of authority… why? Who has called you so?”
“Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She said I was both things and much more, but nothing favorable. I asked her to marry me and she flatly refused.”
“Miss Elizabeth? Refused you? I should like to have witnessed that!”
Charles Bingley, having discarded his despair for hope, now laughed outright. It was probably the first time in his life that Darcy had been
denied anything.
“I don’t see what is so amusing. Even when I acknowledged my willingness to over look her station and lack of money she still refused. Highly illogical on her part.”
“That my dear Darcy, is arrogance beyond measure. One does not point out a lady’s flaws and then propose. It is no wonder that you thought Esme Kirkwood was a possibility. She took great pains to hide her flaws, and they were legion.”
“I prefer that you not mention her to me again.”
“I fear that I must. Surely you will be accompanying us to Atherton’s? The party is in honor of her recent marriage.”
“Then I shall not attend.”
“But you must. Your presence will dispel any rumors of a prior attachment. I fear we must both suffer one more London evening. As for me, on the morrow I shall look in to leasing Netherfield once again. If it is not available, then another must be found. I shall live in a tent if necessary so I may pursue my Jane again in earnest.”
Darcy closed his eyes for a moment in irritation. Charles was right, he must confront Esme one last time. Only then could he truly be free to love again.
~Nineteen~
Nearly three hours later, with Charles Bingley sober and dressed appropriately, Darcy entered the grand ballroom of Lord John Atherton’s London home. With Caroline Bingley clutching his arm, Darcy scanned the room to take measure of the attendees. Fortunately, there were enough familiar faces to make the evening bearable, but he only wanted the company of a certain Miss Bennet.
“Oh look, there is Lady Annabelle Stenwick, and the Duke of Bellway. The word is, they have connections to the royal family and often receive invitations to both Balmoral and Kensington. I must find a way to be introduced.”
Darcy barely listened to her chatter. Playing escort was convenient for them both, but he did not want assumptions to be made either. Aside from Caroline’s beauty and fortune, she held no other redeeming qualities.
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