The Bridesmaid Wore Sneakers

by Cynthia Thomason

  Her words settled like hot acid in Jude’s stomach. How many times had she said and thought those same words—what good is a dead hero? Would she have wanted Liam to stand by while her son was trampled by a maniac horse, or was she glad he jumped in and saved him? What had once seemed so black and white to Jude was now shades of gray. She needed to think through these feelings, but now, at this moment, her mind and her heart were too full to handle more emotion.

  Finished with his discussion with Dr. Baker, Lawrence Manning came over to the seats. “What is wrong over here?” he asked. “Keep your voice down, Alicia. This is a hospital, after all.”

  Alicia glared up at her ex-husband. “You think I don’t know that, Larry! You think I’m not aware every second that my son is fighting for his life in this place?” Casting one brief, hateful look at Jude, she said, “I want her out of here. She’s not family. She’s nobody, except that she’s responsible for our son lying in a coma upstairs.”

  “Mrs. Manning,” Jude began. “Respectfully I’m not leaving until I know how Liam is.”

  Alicia started to rise, but Lawrence held up his hand. “Miss Foster—”

  “Mrs. O’Leary,” Jude said.

  “Oh yes. I do apologize. Out of consideration for the years of friendship with your father, I’m simply going to ask you to leave at this time. I don’t want to get security involved, but I could because you are not family. And you can see how upset Mrs. Manning is. Your being here only adds to the tension.”

  Gripping the arms of her chair, Alicia said, “Yes, go! And don’t come back.”

  Jude didn’t move from her chair. “This is a public place, Mrs. Manning, Dr. Manning. I’m sorry if you don’t want me here, but despite your threat, there’s really nothing you can do about it.”

  Lawrence spoke in a soothing voice. “Jude—it’s Jude, right?”

  She nodded.

  “I beg you, please...”

  Taking a swift appraisal of her options, Jude relented. She didn’t need another medical emergency on her conscience, and Mrs. Manning looked as if she might have a stroke any minute. “Save your breath, Dr. Manning, I’m going. I hope your son recovers very soon.”

  Without another word being spoken, she left the emergency room and went to her truck. Giving her heartbeat a few moments to return to a normal rhythm, she took several deep breaths, put her key in the ignition and drove home.

  * * *

  JUDE SPENT THE next day and a half calling the hospital and talking to whoever would listen about Liam’s condition. Each time she learned the same thing. His condition hadn’t changed. He was still in a coma.

  She tried to put the worry out of her mind and let Christmas happen with her son. At least the news early on Christmas morning about Liam had been more hopeful. The doctors had determined that the swelling in his brain had gone down, and they’d taken him off the induced coma medications.

  Alex, Daniel and Lizzie had arrived on Christmas Eve, brightening Jude’s spirits. The family opened gifts, played games and ended up snuggling around Martin’s great stone fireplace. Jude and Wesley slept over so everyone could be near Maggie and make her part of the celebration as they had done for the last few years. Maggie was shown every gadget, goodie and fashionable sweater that had been wrapped and given with love. And she received her share of kisses while her daughters relived memories of Christmases past.

  Jude was determined not to spoil the holiday for her family. She didn’t know what she would do with the solid gold belt buckle she’d had made for Liam, the one with the symbol of Dancing Falls engraved on its shiny surface. Liam probably would not want to be reminded of her beloved home ever again.

  On Christmas morning, Wesley was delighted to discover that Santa had indeed found Fox Creek, Ohio. And the jolly man had managed to stuff into his sleigh a red two-wheeler, countless LEGOs and enough books about astronomy to keep Wes busy for a long time. At least he kept up a good front as if he believed all that were true. Secretly he cuddled up against his mother on the sofa, smiled and said, “Thanks for all the great stuff, Mom.”

  Alex and Jude were making the traditional goose dinner when Aurora arrived looking festive in a red velvet skirt with a white sweater. She came right into the kitchen to lend a hand, but when she found preparations well under way, she asked Jude if they could have a little talk.

  “Somewhere private,” she said.

  “That would be outside,” Jude suggested. “Everywhere else is a madhouse. Will you be too cold?”

  “Nonsense. The sun is out, and besides, I was raised in Chicago! But let’s get our jackets just in case.”

  The two women met a minute later on the patio. Jude handed Aurora her gift.

  “Yours is inside,” Aurora said.

  “That’s all right. Go ahead and open it.”

  Aurora removed the tissue and took out a colorful knit scarf. “It’s beautiful. I love it.” To prove her appreciation, she wound the scarf around her neck.

  “It’s handmade by a woman in Bees Creek,” Jude said. “I’ve always thought she did lovely work.”

  “Thank you, dear.”

  “Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”

  Aurora smiled. “First of all, merry Christmas.”

  “Thanks. You, too. I’m glad you came for dinner.”

  Aurora lifted Jude’s hand. “Is it, Jude?”

  “Is it what?”

  “Merry?”

  “Well... Carrie’s not here and...other things.”

  “I hope you won’t be angry with your father, but he told me about what happened here a few days ago. Poor Liam, but thankfully he came at just the right time.”

  “I keep replaying in my mind that awful scene and what could have happened if Liam hadn’t shown up when he did. He didn’t even stop to think. He just ran into the paddock risking his life for Wesley’s.”

  “That’s often the way heroic deeds are done, isn’t it?” Aurora said. “A person acts without thinking to save someone else when he could lose his own life. It makes a person wonder...”

  “Yes. It does.” About Liam. About Paul...

  “Kind of makes you understand how the family of those men Paul saved must be feeling, how much gratitude they have toward him.”

  Jude nodded. How amazing that Aurora’s thoughts mirrored her own right now. Throughout this day Jude had thought several times about the men Paul saved and the fact that because of him they were sharing Christmas with their loved ones. Slowly, over the last hours, the bitterness she’d always carried in her heart had begun to fade. “But then in my mind’s eye,” she said, “I see Liam in the hospital bed.”

  “Why in ‘your mind’s eye,’ Jude? Haven’t you been to see him?”

  “I was there the first night, but I’ve only called the nurses’ station since then. Liam’s parents asked that I not return. They blame me for what happened and I understand that.”

  “Hogwash,” Aurora said. “You can’t control the actions of a horse. You want to be with Liam, don’t you?”

  “M...more than anything.”

  “Then go to the hospital,” Aurora said. “There is nothing quite so sad as a missed opportunity, and yours is today. There is no reason why you shouldn’t be with the man you...”

  Aurora chuckled. “Forgive me for blurting out something you may not even realize yet yourself.”

  “That I love Liam? Oh, I realize it, Aurora, and not being able to see him is killing me.”

  Aurora looked out over the expanse of lawn at the back of the house. A dusting of snow had already covered the grass, and more was forecast for later. In fact, there had been talks of a blizzard, one the likes of which the Great Lakes snow belt hadn’t seen yet this season. “Your father has told me many things about you girls and your loves,” she said, her voice dre
amy. “I have determined a few things for myself, but mostly I agree with Marty.”

  “Oh? What has he told you about me?” Jude almost cringed.

  “That you’re a fighter and a believer in good, and that anyone who might try to convince you that you’re wrong had better have a darn good reason for saying so.”

  “My stubbornness about my convictions has gotten me in trouble several times, Aurora.”

  “Well, if you want my opinion, now is not the time to abandon that fighting spirit. If you want to be at Liam’s bedside, then go to him, Jude. Don’t let anyone bully you into retreating from that room. You deserve to be there, and I have a hunch that of all the people who have visited him in the last few days, you’re the one he’s waiting for.”

  “Do you really think so?”

  Aurora cradled Jude’s hand against her cheek. “I’ve had some pretty strong opinions about you and Liam since Alex’s wedding, and no one could convince me that they were simply the rambling thoughts of an old woman.”

  Jude smiled. “There is nothing old about you, Aurora.” She stood. “About dinner...”

  “I’ll take over for you. And I’ll save you a plate for later.” She laid Jude’s hand on her lap and added, “That’s enough hand-holding between us for now. There’s another hand that needs to be held. Now go before the snow gets any worse. Nothing is prettier than a snowy Christmas unless you have to be out in it.”

  Jude leaned over and kissed Aurora’s cheek. “Thank you, Aurora, for believing in me with all my faults.”

  Aurora chuckled. “You have faults? The only one I’m concerned even the least little bit about is maybe your reluctance to forgive the mistakes of the past.” She shrugged. “But then I guess we’re all like that, aren’t we? They may be heavy, but we tend to carry our grudges nevertheless.”

  Jude stood, smiled down at Aurora, who she thought had the most sincere, kindest way of telling someone to get on with her life. “We should all forgive,” Jude said. “And I promise to try.

  She scurried into the house and grabbed her car keys.

  “Where are you going, Mom?” Wesley asked from the living room floor where he and Lizzie were building a LEGO castle.

  “Just out for a while, sweetheart.” She lifted him up by his shoulders and gave him a big kiss on his forehead. “Merry Christmas, Wes!”

  Looking completely confused, he giggled. “You, too, Mama.”

  * * *

  MARTIN CAME INTO the kitchen after Jude had left. “What’s going on?” he asked Aurora. “Where’s Jude off to?”

  Aurora took his arm and led him back to the living room. “I think she’s going to try and perform a Christmas miracle,” she said.

  Martin grumbled under his breath, “Why is the father always the last to know?”

  * * *

  THE ENTRANCE TO Cuyahoga Medical Center was trimmed in garland and white lights. Inside, carols played softly in the public area. Jude wondered if the same cheerful music would surround those people whose illnesses were critical—those in the ICU unit.

  She took the elevator to the third floor. A few people passed her in the hallway carrying bright bouquets of red carnations. Some had colorfully wrapped gifts. She wished she had something for Liam. She turned a corner and saw the Mannings seated in the waiting area. She straightened her spine, reminded herself that she was truly a fighter and walked briskly toward them.

  Unfortunately Jude’s determined footsteps were nothing like the muffled sounds of the medical staff in their soft-soled shoes. Her rarely worn dressy pumps echoed on the tile floor, and Lawrence and Alicia were quickly on their feet.

  “What are you doing here?” Alicia demanded in a harsh whisper.

  Lawrence put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t start,” he said.

  “How is Liam?” Jude asked.

  “He’s holding his own,” Dr. Manning said. “We’re hoping he’ll regain consciousness soon.”

  Alicia shrugged off her husband’s controlling hand. “There, Jude, now you know. You can go.”

  “I’ve come to see Liam,” Jude said. “And I won’t leave until I’ve done that. I am grateful to him for so many things, but the most important is the fact that he very likely saved my son’s life.” She took a deep breath. “And besides all that, I happen to be in love with him.”

  Alicia’s eyes widened in shock. Dr. Manning responded with a resigned nod.

  Jude continued. “I think, just maybe, if Liam is the forgiving man I believe him to be, he might actually love me, too.”

  She squared her shoulders into fighter stance. “I think that about covers it, so I’m going in now.”

  Alicia opened her mouth but snapped it shut again when Lawrence glared her into silence. “Go ahead, Jude,” he said. “Maybe you’ll have better luck than we’ve had.”

  The glass door to Liam’s room whished open with a soothing hiss that did nothing to calm Jude’s nerves. She clasped her hands tightly over her abdomen to still her trembling fingers. The vibrant man she’d come to love was lying motionless in a bed a few feet away. She couldn’t lose her resolve now.

  Her insecurities vanished when she approached the bed, for there was Liam, the man she knew, the one she loved. His sandy hair lay smoothed back from his forehead. His eyes were closed as if he were simply resting, his mouth full but slack with the release of tension that only comes with deep sleep. But this was not just deep sleep, she reminded herself.

  A dusting of beard covered his lower face, and Jude longed to touch it, to smooth away the faint creases of care and pain on his face. But then she saw the bandage on his temple where his hair had been shaved, and remorse for what had happened to him on her farm consumed her.

  She pulled up a chair and sat close to his bedside. Laying her hand lightly on his forearm, she said, “Hi, Liam, it’s me, Jude. I’m sorry for what happened to you, so terribly sorry. I know you’re going to be all right just as soon as the doctors figure out why you’re not waking up.”

  She moved her hand down to lightly grasp his. “You have to wake up, Liam. I can’t bear it if you don’t. I have to tell you how grateful I am that you showed up at Dancing Falls when you did. You saved Wesley, you know. He was out in that paddock with that wild horse because he wanted to prove something to me, but what I learned that day wasn’t about Wesley as much as it was about you.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, mostly about how selfish and narrow-minded I’ve been.” Jude moved her chair even closer, wanting to remove as much distance between her and Liam as she could. Her knees touched the metal bed rails. “It’s Christmas today,” she said. “The Douglas fir is quite beautiful. Wesley is excited about his gifts, though he keeps asking about you. He wishes you’d been with us this morning. I have a gift for you, though I don’t know how appropriate it will be now.” She smiled. “Here’s a hint. You can melt it down and make a pair of cuff links if you like.”

  Liam’s fingers flexed against Jude’s palm, a featherlight but distinct pressure, and a sudden and intense warmth flooded her. “Talk to me, please,” she said. “Yell at me if you want. I was wrong, Liam, about so many things. You were right. So much of our journey is just a series of risks, but we have to take them or life isn’t worth living. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to come back and continue on with your life. You’ll go on many adventures and do many exciting things.”

  With the tips of his fingers Liam continued trying to communicate, sending ripples of tender shock up her arms. She squeezed his hand. His fingers pressed more deeply into her flesh. Bolstered with renewed hope, she emptied her soul to a man she hoped could hear the words she needed to say.

  “I remember your words. Danger lurks everywhere, but knowing that cannot take away our joy of living. I thought about all those exploits of yours, the ones that take place a mile aboveground
, and the ones that happen a thousand feet into the ocean, and I realized that the only time you were hurt was when you were standing on solid Dancing Falls land, the one place on earth that I’ve always thought was my safe haven. You didn’t have time to prepare for your act of heroism, and that’s exactly what it was. You are Wesley’s hero, and mine, too.

  “When you wake up, I’m going to tell you how much I love you. And then I’m going to make some changes. I’ve decided to put some pictures away and take a special box down from the closet shelf and give it to Wes. I’m not going to be controlled by fear and guilt anymore. You have taught me that loving someone again doesn’t take quite as much courage as I thought it would. In fact, it’s as simple as opening your heart and believing. And I believe that if you love me back, you’ll come home to me. That’s all that matters.”

  She pushed back from the bed. “I don’t want to tire you, sweetheart. I could talk forever and tell you so many things, but there will be time enough when you’re better.” She stood, leaned over the bed and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Liam. Rest now so you can come back to all of us who feel the same way about you.” She stroked her hand over his hair. “Merry Christmas.”

  She was nearly to the door when she heard a gravelly voice speak her name. “Jude...”

  Rushing back, she grabbed on to the arm he had managed to raise above the bed rail. “Oh, Liam, I’ve been blubbering by your bed for the last half hour. Did you hear any of it? I love you. That’s what I said.”

  His eyelids fluttered, opened. Jude cried, hugging his hand to her chest.

  “Wesley? How...?”

  “He’s fine, perfectly fine.”

  A small smile curved his lips. “That day, I came to tell you something...” he said.

  “Never mind. It can wait.”

  “Something else, too,” he said. “That day, with Wes, I passed a test...important one.”

  “A test? Why, yes, you passed a test of bravery. But you already knew you are brave.”

  “No. A test about Wesley. I would have done anything to...”