And You Call Yourself A Christian

by E. N. Joy

  Unique’s stomach began preparing for the Olympics by doing all sorts of crazy backflips and somersaults. She pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth and put her cuffed hands over her mouth. She thought she might puke any minute.

  Jesus, she repeated over and over in her head. Jesus.

  When the van finally came to a stop, the guard stood up and opened the van doors. Several guards on the prison grounds, armed with guns, surrounded the van.

  “All right, ladies,” the guard started. He then looked over at a big, butchy-looking broad. “... and gentleman.” He let out a chuckle. “You’re home sweet home. Stand up and follow the instructions of your new mothers and fathers.”

  Everyone followed instructions, everyone, that is, except for Unique. She couldn’t. If she moved she was liable to barf.

  “Hey, that includes you,” the guard snapped at Unique. “And let’s get something straight. See those men and women out there with those nice, pretty guns?” He didn’t wait for Unique to respond. “They don’t really tell you things twice, if you know what I mean.”

  Unique looked out of the van at the gun-toting guards.

  “So get your black tail up and get the heck off of my van.” The guard looked up. “That goes for all of you convicts; get to moving.”

  Unique stood, and with a queasy stomach and queasy legs to match, she became the designated line leader, leading the other women from the van. Once all the women were off the van, a guard began to call out further instructions about where they were to go, different rules, regulations, etc... .

  After awhile, for Unique, the words began to sound scrambled and eventually faded. By the time things became clear, she was inside a building and the guard was still howling off instructions.

  “So come on, you’re first.” The guard was looking directly at Unique. Unique felt a tug on her arm, and then realized that the guard had been talking to her. “Hurry up, hold your hands out before I make you try to undress with the cuffs on.” Initially, there had been a male officer guiding the inmates into the building. Somehow it was now a female officer doing all the instructing. Where had Unique’s mind gone?

  Unique held her hands out, and the guard removed the cuffs.

  “Now go in there and take it off.” The guard nodded to the open doorway behind her.

  Unique slowly walked through the entryway and stood still.

  “Like I said, through the door and to your right,” the guard shouted to Unique once she saw that she was idle.

  Unique looked to the right before she stepped to the right. There were several female guards lined up, each of their hands covered in rubber gloves.

  At first, Unique didn’t know if they were doctors or what, but then reality set in, and she realized exactly what was about to go down.

  “Come on over here, sweetness, and let’s see what you’ve got—or hopefully what you don’t got,” a female guard joked, holding her gloved hands up. “Get over here and take off every thing.”

  “Everything?” Unique questioned.

  “You heard me, honey. This ain’t your annual gynecology exam where you can take everything off but your socks. Those need to go too.”

  This nightmare of a dream just kept getting worse for Unique as she walked over and stood in front of the guard. She slowly removed her clothing.

  “Now bend over,” the guard instructed.

  Humiliated, Unique had stripped off her clothes. As if standing there without any clothes on wasn’t bad enough, the guard began poking, prodding, and lifting parts of Unique’s body that made her sick to her stomach; so sick that this time, the puke she’d been holding back for the past hour or so spilled from her mouth and down the front of her body.

  “Jesus!” Thank goodness the guard had been standing behind her. “Darsey!” the guard called out, then the female guard who had removed Unique’s handcuffs appeared in the doorway. “Get somebody to clean this crap up.”

  The guard that had been summoned looked at Unique in disgust, shook her head, then exited the room.

  “I’m ... I’m sorry,” Unique apologized.

  “Yeah, you’re sorry, you and every other piece of poop criminal in this place,” the guard replied. “Head on back to showers and clean yourself up.”

  Unique looked around through another opening where she saw showers. “Through there?” she questioned.

  “You got a problem listening or something?” The guard stood erect and poked her chest out as if she was calling Unique out. “Didn’t you hear the instructions Officer Darsey gave you out there?”

  Without replying, Unique just turned and headed through the doorway and straight to the showers.

  “Geez, you stink,” she heard a voice say, then turned to see an armed officer standing in the front left corner of the room. “You need to hurry up for real and get in that shower.” Her nose was turned up.

  Unique took a couple more steps toward the shower, then she paused and looked over at the correctional officer. “Is there any soap?”

  “Sure, there is.” Unique was relieved until the officer added, “But not for baby killers. Now get in that shower before I change my mind and leave you with your dinner all over you so that the rats can feast on you.”

  Baby killer. Those words had stung Unique. Obviously everyone was expecting and knew what the so-called baby killer looked like.

  Fear removed itself from Unique and allowed for rage to take its place. Hearing that officer refer to her as a baby killer made her want to go back to the hood of things like when she lived in the projects. She had to remind herself that she now lived in the Kingdom though. So with that she just walked on over to the shower, turned it on, and prayed that the water would wash away her anger and would wash away any remnants of fear.

  During that shower was when it really set in Unique’s mind that perhaps that guard was right. Maybe she was nothing more than a baby killer. Her boys were dead. Who else could have killed them? Who else left them in that car to die in that heat? No, she hadn’t done it on purpose, but she had done it nonetheless.

  “I’m a killer,” Unique proclaimed softly to herself. “I’ve committed the ultimate sin.” It was a sin that she knew that the running shower water could not wash away. Nope, only the blood of Jesus could do that. But Unique felt what had happened was so heinous that she doubted whether even Jesus’ blood could wash that one away. She deserved to be where she was. She deserved to spend the rest of her life in that place. And that’s exactly what she planned on telling the judge when she had her day in court. But hopefully, someone would stop her before it got to that point; otherwise, Unique would be digging her own grave.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When Lorain couldn’t get a hold of Unique, she drove over to her sister’s house where she and the boys had lived the last few years. She would have called the house, but they didn’t have a land line. A lot of people were doing that lately; choosing cell phones over land lines. Lorain understood the fact that they wanted to save money, and if adults were just living in the house, that was fine. But most of the time, adults carried their cell phones on their persons. With children in the home, what if one of the children needed to make an emergency phone call? Having access to a land line seemed like a must when children were in the home.

  Unique’s sister had two children of her own. Lorain never really knew their ages, but from the looks of the little girl who’d answered the door, one of them was around nine or ten. Lorain was surprised to see that the child was still up considering how late in the evening it was, but then again, it was summer break.

  “Hi, honey, is your mother home?” Lorain tried her best to maintain her composure. Although Nicholas had forced her to sit in the hospital lobby for a few more minutes while she pulled herself together, there was no way she’d be completely okay. No, that was going to take some time. But still, she’d managed to calm down enough to make the drive to Unique’s, crying the entire time.

  “She in there mad,” the gir
l pointed over her shoulder, “trying to get a hold of Auntie Uni—”

  “Is that her?” Lorain heard the agitated voice of a grown woman crawling up behind the young child.

  “No, Mama. It’s the lady who be picking up Auntie Unique sometimes,” the little girl informed her mother.

  “Oh.” The woman was visually disappointed. “Hi, Lorain.”

  “Renee,” was all Lorain mumbled out.

  “If you’re here to see Unique, I have no idea where that child is with my car.” And that was the beginning of the sibling’s rant. “I let her borrow my car way earlier this morning. She said she was just supposed to be going to pick up some money from one of her son’s fathers, but she ain’t back yet. It’s almost eleven o’clock at night. I’ve been calling her back to back but the phone keeps—”

  “Going to voice mail,” Lorain finished. “Yeah, I know. I’ve been trying to get a hold of her too. That’s why I came on over.” It was apparent to Lorain that Unique’s sister had no idea about the boys; otherwise, her concerns wouldn’t have been of a material thing; her automobile. “Listen, Renee, can I come in for a minute?”

  “Why not?” She let out a heated wind and allowed her arms to flail, and then drop to her sides. “I already had to call my boss and let her know that I wouldn’t be able to make it in to work because I was having ‘car trouble.’” She used her fingers to make quotation marks in the air.

  Unique’s sister led Lorain over to the couch. “You can have a seat.”

  Lorain accepted the offer and sat on the worn but pretty decent sofa.

  Picking up the remote from the table and handing it to Lorain, the young woman about five or six years Unique’s senior sat down as well. “The kids been watching Nickelodeon all day. It keeps them off my nerves. But you can turn to something you’d like if you want to.”

  “No, thank you.” Lorain kindly shook her head as Sponge Bob’s theme music filled the air.

  “Oh, I can’t take that song no more,” Renee spat, turning to one of the local channels. Placing the remote on the table, she sat and waited for Lorain to speak.

  Gathering the exact words she needed to tell this woman that her nephews were dead, Lorain remained silent. Like Nicholas, she didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

  Before Lorain could speak, Unique’s sister did. “You know, I think that’s cool what you and Unique did for each other.”

  “Pardon me?” Lorain didn’t know what she was talking about.

  “You know with the twins and all, her having them for you and you raising them and all that other stuff. Because when that child first told me she was pregnant, I was about to tell her that she had to pack her stuff and keep it moving. There’s no way we had room in this place for two more. So how are those babies anyway? The boys just love ’em. They can’t stop talking about their aunties. As far as they are concerned, them girls are their sisters.”

  “The twins?” Lorain remembered that her mother was watching them. She’d forgotten to call her and let her know what was going on. She was surprised her mother hadn’t called her first. But then again, Lorain had told her she might be late and not to worry. Lorain figured her mother probably didn’t want to interrupt her and Nicholas’s moment; the moment that never happened. Lorain figured she’d go ahead and call Eleanor now, but she couldn’t do it in front of Unique’s sister, especially with her not knowing yet. “My mother has the twins. Do you mind if I step out and call to check on them?” Lorain stood.

  “No, I don’t mind at all.” Unique’s sister wondered why Lorain felt it necessary to have to leave the house just to talk on the phone, but she didn’t want to be nosy and question her.

  Lorain excused herself and went on the porch and dialed her mother’s phone number.

  “Lorain, I was just about to call you,” Eleanor said after picking up on the first ring. “Did you see it? It’s on right now! Did you see it on the news? About Unique and her boys?”

  “It’s on the news?” Lorain asked.

  “Yes. Dear God, how’s Unique doing?” Eleanor asked. “Have you talked to her? My God, baby, how are you doing? Here I am thinking I’m letting you be to enjoy your engagement, and you’ve been dealing with this. I can’t believe what I’m seeing on this television.”

  “Television?” Lorain mumbled to herself. “Mom, let me call you back, please. I promise I’ll call you right back.” Lorain hung up the phone and darted back into the house. She found Unique’s sister standing with her hands over her mouth staring at the television.

  “Did you know? Is that why you’re here?” Unique’s sister stared at Lorain waiting for an answer. “I was wondering why you showed up at the house so late.” She turned her attention back to the television. “They, they just said Unique’s boys are dead. See, watch.” She nervously fumbled with the remote and pressed a button that would rewind live television like it was a movie in a DVD player.

  Lorain watched as a reporter covered the story. “Police say they had no idea children were even in the car; nobody did. Apparently the boys were hiding down on the floor of the car where no one could see them. They’d probably been frightened by all the action and noise of the raid on the crack house their mother was in.”

  The reporter looked down at a piece of paper she had in her hand. “Reports say that while the three boys were locked in the car on the hottest day of the year, their mother was inside copping drugs, they believe, with the intent to sell based on the quantity. No telling how long their mother might have intended on staying inside, but when the house was suddenly raided, whatever her intentions were no longer mattered. Hauled off to jail, police say the mother never said a word to them about her children having been left in the car. They were only discovered when, after the raid, some of the landlords in the neighborhood came by to sort of ‘clean house.’ One landlord in particular was having cars towed that were parked in front of his houses that didn’t belong to his tenants.”

  Next, the news showed a picture of a near toothless old man. “I knocked on the doors of my tenants to see if the car belonged to any one of them. Nobody claimed it. I even went and knocked on a couple houses across the street. Again, nobody claimed it. I figured it belonged to somebody who had something to do with that big drug bust, so I called the police to have it towed from in front of my property. They the ones found them boys down inside the car.” The man’s voice began to crack. “They say they was huddled together on their knees, like they’d been praying or some—” The man couldn’t finish. He broke down and signaled the camera man to cut him off.

  And just like the man, both Lorain and Renee broke down as well.

  “Oh my God. Oh my God!” was all Unique’s sister could say as she fell to the couch. “This isn’t real ... my nephews ... no ... this can’t be ... no. God, Unique, what were you thinking?”

  Hearing Unique’s name, Lorain turned her attention back to the television screen where she saw footage of Unique being escorted into a van. Seeing her child in jail-issued clothes and a bulletproof vest, Lorain was done. There was no more time for breaking down and falling out. It was time for warfare. Lorain knew her daughter. She knew Unique well enough to know that what these reporters were saying was not true. So if the police thought for one minute they were going to charge her daughter with the death of her own sons, drug possession, or anything else, they had another think coming.

  “Where are you going?” Renee asked Lorain when she saw her hightailing it out of the living room to the front door.

  “I’m going to the jail to see about Unique.”

  “They’re not going to let you do that. It’s too late.”

  “Oh yes, they will. I’m her mother, and they are going to let me see my baby.” On that note, Lorain charged out of the house and into her car. Putting the pedal to the metal, she took off to go see about her daughter, but unbeknownst to her, she wasn’t the only one. It looked as though the police weren’t going to be the only somebody Lorain would have to deal with when i
t came to seeing Unique.

  Chapter Fourteen

  It was so late by the time Lorain got home in the wee hours of the night-morning-whichever that she just left the twins with her mother. This morning she’d already called into her job, informing her boss what was going on and that she’d need a few days off work. After doing so, she jumped in the shower, got dressed, and headed out of the door on her way to see Unique.

  Last night had been a failed attempt. She’d gone to the county jail only to find out that Unique had been transported elsewhere. Lorain didn’t know much about jail procedure, but she found it odd that Unique would be moved before any type of court appearance.

  “It was for her own safety,” a deputy had told Lorain after she questioned why Unique had been transported without even having been arraigned. Special circumstances were the words the deputy had used to further explain the situation.

  Lorain had made a couple of phone calls to find out exactly what was going on with Unique; if she was going to be arraigned today or not. The answer was “not.” Today she was being assigned a public defender who would read over the police reports and interview Unique.

  Having a public defender defend Unique didn’t sit well with Lorain. So when the pastor of New Day Temple of Faith phoned her this morning and suggested the church raise funds to at least be able to afford the retainer for a good private attorney, Lorain was relieved. “Let’s just do what we can for now,” her pastor had said. “We’ll trust God for the rest.”

  A lot of trust in God was going to be needed to get them through this ordeal. Lorain could just feel it. She could also feel the bumps all over the secluded, dirt road she was driving starting to shake up her empty belly. She hadn’t eaten in almost an entire day now, and she wasn’t going to until she saw her daughter.

  Parking and entering the jail, Lorain made her way over to the visitor sign-in window. Fourth in line, after about fifteen minutes, it was finally her turn.