And You Call Yourself A Christian

by E. N. Joy

  Lorain blinked her eyes at the vision her eyes were glued to. No way did this familiar side profile belong to the person she thought it did. And if that was the person’s face, who did the pair of legs on the opposite side of the table belong to?

  “Your order is ready,” the hostess told Lorain, extending the carryout bag to her.

  The steaming aroma rising from the bag made Lorain’s belly growl its loudest yet. That wasn’t the only thing that was about to get loud. That wasn’t the only thing that was steaming.

  Not taking her eyes off of her subject for a single moment, Lorain passed right by the woman while saying, “Just one moment, please.”

  She proceeded to walk over to the table where her eyes had been fixated on for the last few moments. The closer she got, the more she was convinced that she was right on the money; that this familiar-looking person was exactly who she thought it was.

  “Nicholas?” Lorain said once she was at an angle where there was no doubt it was him. That angle just happened to be right smack in front of him.

  “Well, hello—” He went to stand.

  “No, sit.” She held her hand out, stopping him. She looked over at the woman sitting across from him. “Oh, so she gets lunch at the Olive Garden, and all I ever got was hospital cafeteria food?” Lorain spat out of pure jealousy. It was jealousy, and she knew it was jealousy. She knew that emotion was not of God. Right about now, though, she wasn’t trying to be about her Father’s business. She was about giving Nicholas the business.

  Still recognizing the fact that she was on her lunch break, Lorain didn’t have time to dance around the situation; the situation being that she was appalled to see Nicholas out with another woman just days after their breakup.

  “Excuse me?” Nicholas appeared baffled. This insulted Lorain even more, because she thought Nicholas was about to pretend he didn’t even know who she was in front of this other woman.

  “Oh, you’re excused all right. Excused and dismissed!” Lorain spat. She folded her arms across her chest, and then stood there waiting to see what Dr. McHottie had to say for himself.

  “Look, Lorain, I think you might be confused about what’s going on here.” Nicholas looked at the woman dining with him and smiled. “This is—”

  Lorain cut him off. She didn’t care who this woman was. Well, she cared, but she didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to know who this woman was that he’d just smiled at differently than he’d ever smiled at her. He smiled at her so knowingly. Like he knew her well, and she knew him. Like they knew each other better than any two people possibly could. Someone who Lorain felt Nicholas knew far better than he had known her.

  “No need for introductions,” Lorain spat. “I’m sure the chances are slim to none that I’ll ever come into contact with her again anyway.” Lorain only nodded toward the woman. She didn’t want to just look at her; she wanted to look at her real good. She wanted to give her the once-over to see just how beautiful the woman was who’d captured Nicholas’s eyes in a matter of days. The last thing she wanted to do, though, was have visions of that woman in her head the rest of her days as she perhaps wondered about what could have—should have—been between her and Nicholas. She shook her head. No no no! She was not going to look in that woman’s direction.

  Staring Nicholas down as if her eyes were shooting daggers, Lorain had no problem with looking at him. “Anyway, I won’t keep you, Doctor. I’m not even sure why I came over here in the first place. I guess just shocked that you’d be entertaining the likes of another woman only days after breaking it off with the woman who you’d proposed to—several times.”

  Finally, the other woman gave some sign of life as she jerked her head toward Nicholas. “Nicky, you proposed to her? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  In the first instant, Lorain was all giggly inside. She’d gotten a reaction out of the broad. She figured Nicholas hadn’t told her he was fresh out of a serious relationship. But then something the woman had just said put a halt to Lorain’s celebration.

  Nicky, Lorain repeated in her head. Already this woman had given him a pet name? Something told Lorain that Nicholas and this woman knew each other beyond a mere few days since their breakup. A hot, scalding lightbulb went off in Lorain’s head. Could Nicholas have been seeing this woman on the side? Did he have her waiting in the wings all along just in case Lorain never came around and married him?

  Now Lorain was more furious than jealous. “Yeah, Nicky, why didn’t you tell her?” Lorain questioned. “Why didn’t you tell her you practically begged me a million times to be your wife? You told me you could see yourself being with me forever. You told me that ...” Lorain pointed an accusing finger at Nicholas as she went on and on and on, tears building up with every word she spoke.

  It felt as if Lorain had gone on forever, running down a list of everything Nicholas had ever said to her pertaining to her being his wife. The entire time Nicholas just sat there looking at Lorain unfazed.

  “Are you finished?” Nicholas asked calmly.

  Swallowing tears and humiliation for acting out in a public place like that, the only words Lorain had left to say were, “Yes, ... Yes, I am.” She’d said it as though she’d just received an award for her performance; with confidence and grace. On the inside, though, she wanted to crawl up under a rock and die.

  “Good,” Nicholas stood, “then Lorain, I’d like you to meet my sister, Sherrie.” He looked at the woman sitting across from him. “Sherrie, this is Lorain, the woman I’ve been dying for you to meet.” There was definitely a little sarcasm and humor with Nicholas’s last statement.

  “Shh, Shh, Sherrie?” Lorain stuttered. “Sherrie, as in the sister-who-is-always-out-of-town-on-business-with-her-job Sherrie?”

  “That would be me.” Sherrie extended her hand and smiled.

  It was then that Lorain recognized her from the family portrait that hung above Nicholas’s parents’ fireplace. Lorain had been to his parents’ house for dinner a couple of times to meet his family. Usually, everyone was in attendance at one time or another. It had been his sister Sherrie who had never been able to make it due to her work schedule. She was out of town more than she was in, which is why she’d opted to still live at home with her parents versus buy a home or pay rent on a place she’d never get to enjoy.

  “Oh my God. Oh my God.” Lorain covered her hand with her mouth. Humiliation didn’t begin to explain how she felt. She stared down at Sherrie’s extended hand. Too ashamed and too embarrassed at this being how their first meeting turned out, she ran off, leaving Sherrie’s hand hanging, Nicholas’s face hanging, and the hostess hanging on to her food.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  “It’s not mine! It’s not mine!” Kiki shouted as the guards hauled her out of the cafeteria kicking and screaming.

  “Oh yeah?” a guard spat back. “Then how come we found it under your mattress?” The guard shook her head. “And I thought you were smarter than that. You’ve been here long enough to know that you can’t keep nothing away from us. And you know what this means, don’t you? Solitary,” the guard answered before Kiki even had time to digest what was being said to her, let alone digest the food she’d just eaten.

  “It ain’t my knife,” Kiki declared with conviction.

  “Oh, so whose is it then, your roommate’s?” The guard looked over at Unique who was sitting dumbfounded at the scene going down before her. “What would she need with a blade? Ain’t no babies in here to kill.”

  The other two assisting guards chuckled at the comment their comrade had made.

  “Then again, though, guess she could need it for protection.” The guard shrugged. “But it was found under your mattress. So unless the ghetto princess wants to claim it, you’re going down for it.”

  Unique had just eaten lunch with Kiki and was just as shocked as Kiki when the guards came and scooped her up. But what really shocked Unique were the very next words that Kiki said.

  “It’s hers. She needed i
t for protection.” Kiki looked at Unique with desperation in her eyes. “Tell ’em the truth, Unique. Tell ’em it’s yours.”

  Unique looked at Kiki like she had lost her mind. She liked the girl and all. Kiki had taken up for her and had her back a couple of times since she’d been locked up, but Unique wasn’t about to do no time in the hole for her.

  “But it’s not mine,” Unique said. She looked at Kiki as if asking her why she was insisting she admit to something like that.

  “You needed it for protection, so you copped it.” It was as if Kiki was feeding Unique lines. And she truly expected for Unique to chew them up and swallow them.

  Unique shook her head. She was choking on just the thought of fessing up to the ownership of contraband. Especially when it would have been a lie. “But ...” Unique’s words trailed off. This was all happening too fast. Life was happening too fast. Unique didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to say. She felt tormented as she watched the guards drag Kiki farther and farther away from her.

  “Unique, just tell them the truth. Trust me. You have to tell them the truth. You needed it for protection.” Kiki stressed the word protection. Again, Kiki was pleading desperately with her eyes.

  Frozen, Unique couldn’t force any words out. Be it the truth or a lie, every letter in the alphabet was stuck in her throat. Then out of nowhere, like it was the voice of someone else rising up out of her, she yelled out, “Wait!”

  Just as the guards were about to disappear with Kiki in tow, they stopped upon hearing Unique call out.

  The guard who had been doing all the talking began to grin. “Don’t tell me ol’ girl’s got a conscious. She’s actually going to take one for the team.” Releasing Kiki with confidence that her counterparts had a good hold on her, the guard strutted toward Unique. Once she was all up in Unique’s face, practically nose to nose, she said, “Well, are you claiming the contraband we found in your and your celly’s cell? Is it you, or is it her we are going to drag off to the hole?”

  With her heart rate the speed of the fastest car in a NASCAR race, sweat began to pop up on Unique’s forehead. It reminded her of how New Day’s church mother, Mother Doreen, would perspire at the sign of any discord. Well, this scenario went beyond discord if Unique did say so herself.

  “Look, we don’t have all day. Are you going to fess up or not? Who’s taking the rap?”

  Unique tightened her lips—on purpose—so that she didn’t have to say what she knew Kiki wanted her to say; what she didn’t want to say. But something inside of her just kept tugging at her to do it. Just do it. Just do it. Just say it already!

  And within seconds, before Unique realized it herself, her hands were extended in front of her, assuming the position to be cuffed. She’d said it, and the words she’d said were about to land her in solitary confinement.

  “Well, this one’s got some heart,” the guard laughed, looking back at the other two guards, who reluctantly released Kiki, then turned their actions toward Unique.

  As the guards cuffed Unique, she tried her best to show that she had heart. Her jaws tightened, she poked out her chest, and she held her head high as she was escorted out of the cafeteria. Upon passing Kiki, she didn’t even look her way. Why should she have? There was no turning back at this point.

  It was when Unique found herself in a room the size of a closet that she let her emotions erupt. This nightmare was only getting worse. One minute, just when she felt the hand of God was upon her, the next minute she felt as if the devil’s foot was stomping her. She was in hell. This had to be hell. Why was God making her live hell on earth? Was it because of the lie she and Lorain were living when it came to the twins? Because she’d denied the twins, had God taken her boys?

  Was this her punishment for having all those babies out of wedlock in the first place? For sleeping with every man who told her she was pretty? And for, on occasion, sleeping with one of her babies’ daddies just so she could get a little extra ends from him toward child support? Maybe she didn’t deserve her boys, such angels. Maybe that’s why God sent them back to heaven.

  “But I thought you forgave me,” Unique began to cry as she sat on the paper-thin mattress that lay across the floor. The mattress took up pretty much half of the room. “If you forgave me for all those sins, God, then why? Why am I here? I don’t understand. I don’t understand.” Unique began to heave as the tears flowed more forcefully. Everything in her wanted to curse God, but she just couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She refused to curse God. She had to remain faithful. She had to trust God. Besides, who else in there could she trust?

  Chapter Twenty-six

  “Lorain, wait! Lorain, will you wait up please?”

  Although Lorain could hear Nicholas calling for her as she made her way through the Olive Garden parking lot, she refused to stop. No way could she face him after the way she’d just showed her butt. If there had ever been a chance in God’s creation that they might get back together some day, she’d just completely blown that.

  “Lorain, please—baby, wait.”

  Arriving at her car and fumbling for her keys, Lorain felt like those women in movies that were being chased and couldn’t get away fast enough. Just when she’d managed to get her remote situated in her hand in order to unlock the car, she dropped the keys. Definitely a scene straight out of a movie.

  “Here, let me get that for you,” Nicholas said as he bent down to pick up Lorain’s keys.

  “No, I’ve got it,” Lorain insisted, bending down, only to clank her head against Nicholas’s. “Ouch!” Lorain grabbed her head.

  “Yikes,” Nicholas followed suit, grabbing his own head. “I knew you had a hard head, but dang.” Nicholas squinted his eyes and clinched his teeth. He looked up at Lorain whose eyes were watering. “Gee, it really hurt you that bad, huh?”

  Lorain nodded her head. “Yes, it hurts ... really bad.” She began to cry a mini pond.

  It was obvious to Nicholas that it wasn’t the head collision that was hurting her so badly. “Come here.” He opened his arms, signaling for her to rest her head against his chest.

  “No, I can’t.” This time she shook her head.

  “Come here, woman,” Nicholas ordered.

  Lorain began taking small steps toward Nicholas until she stood face to face with him. Without saying a word, he took her by the back of her head and gently pulled it to his chest.

  “It hurts,” Lorain began to cry. “It really does hurt. Just the loss, and I mean, I’ve lost everything. The boys, Unique.” She paused. “You.” She looked up at Nicholas with red, wet eyes. “I have lost you, haven’t I?”

  Nicholas sighed and pulled her head back against his chest. “I don’t know, have you? I mean, you know what I want, Lorain. I’ve made it clear that I want you. Why you don’t want me, I have no idea.”

  “But I do want you,” Lorain was quick to say. “And I want to give myself to you, all of me. I know that’s not something I can do right now though. Nicholas, you know what I’m going through. And I have Victoria and Heaven I have to take care of.”

  “But that’s all the more reason why you should want me to be there for you. For the twins’ sake.” Nicholas pulled away from Lorain and spoke intensely. “Every day in America, 4,184 babies are born to unmarried mothers. That’s according to State of America’s Children 2008 Report. Over 40 percent of our children grow up in a home without a father. God only knows how much the numbers might have increased since then.” Nicolas rested his hands on each side of Lorain’s face. “Baby, I don’t want you and the girls to be a part of that study. I want you to be in that 60 percent where a father is present in the child’s life. Not just a father, a father figure, or a boyfriend, but a husband. Marry me, Lorain. Stop playing with me, woman, and marry me in the name of Jesus. I mean, my God, woman, I love you, my family loves you, I love your family, and I think your family loves me.”

  “Umm, I’m not sure about all that.”

  A frown covered Nicholas’s f
ace. “What? Your momma don’t like me?”

  “Oh no, it’s not that. Eleanor loves you as if you were her own son,” Lorain assured him. “It’s your family I’m worried about.” Lorain nodded toward the restaurant.

  “Oh, Sherrie? Please, she thought the way you acted in there was the show of a black woman truly in love. I think her exact words were, ‘Bruh, only a woman who really loves you would act like such a fool in public.’” Nicholas couldn’t help but chuckle.

  “Thanks a lot,” Lorain pouted.

  “Seriously. Like Big told Carrie in that movie Sex and the City,” Nicholas took his index finger and his middle finger and pointed them at his eyes, and then to Lorain’s. “It’s just me and you.”

  “Yeah, but didn’t Big leave Carrie at the altar? And what in the world were you doing watching Sex and the City? I thought that was a chick flick.”

  Nicholas cleared his throat. “Uh, well, uh, one of the nurses told me about it. Yeah, that’s right.” He played down the fact that Sex and the City was a guilty pleasure of his after seeing a few episodes in the hospital staff lounge.

  “Yeah, right,” Lorain laughed. “Anyway, they’ll be no anybody leaving anyone at the altar when we get married, that’s for sure.”

  “Sooo, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  Lorain closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then exhaled. She opened her eyes, looked Nicholas straight in his, and said, “I’m saying it, Doctor Nicholas Wright. I’m saying that I want nothing more than to be your wife.”

  Nicholas could hardly believe his ears. “So let me get this straight. Viola Lorain Watson, you agree to marry me, Nicholas Leon Wright?”