She lunges. But STRINGER is too fast. He steps aside, slaps the knife out of her hand, and throws her to the ground. He puts his foot on her throat.
STRINGER
Were there any photos taken?
JENNY
(struggling to breathe) Yeah … lots of them …
STRINGER
Thanks …
He leans over and slits her throat, hears someone coming, and backs into the darkness.
TINA
(exiting the Bluebird Club) Jen? Jenny? Where the hell –
STRINGER steps forward, grabs her, slits her throat. She collapses, and he walks away.
Blackout.
SCENE 20
GREEN’s house. GREEN and MAC, in his Carlo disguise, are standing near the empty picture frame. GREEN is holding the rolled-up painting. CHRISTIE is standing a little distance away, hands in pockets.
GREEN
It’s very kind of you to keep returning this.
MAC
It’s the least I can do.
GREEN
And … what about all the other things that were stolen?
MAC
Don’t get greedy now. You’ll just annoy me.
GREEN
Well, I was only – what happened to your accent?
MAC
(removing moustache) That was just for your pals. I think you and I need to establish a more honest relationship.
GREEN
Should I be afraid?
MAC
Only if that helps make you more open to suggestion. I want you to think about how easy it is for me to break into your house and take whatever I want. That would, if circumstances warranted it, include your life. Can you keep that in mind while we’re talking?
GREEN
Yes, I can.
MAC
Next, I think we should talk about your attitude towards your employees and how to improve it.
GREEN
Are you a Bolshevik?
MAC
No, I’m a thief. You think decency and fair play are only a matter for politics?
GREEN
I’m not sure. Are you suggesting I think more about decency and fair play?
MAC
Or you could just learn as we go along? You see, the thing is, I don’t like your two pals.
GREEN
Neither do I. Are you suggesting I help you break into their houses? That’s no problem.
MAC
Would it be a problem to help me a little more than that?
GREEN
I don’t see why. I could help you break into their summer homes, their yachts, their in-laws’ homes and yachts … just about anywhere as long as you’d promise to not break into mine anymore.
MAC
I want you to help me break into their heads, Mr. Green. I’m going to present a situation to you – the same situation I’m going to present to them pretty soon, and I want you to tell me what you think they’ll do about it. Can you do that? Do you all think enough alike that you’ll be able to help me out here?
GREEN
Well, we all grew up under the same kind of pressure from the same kind of overbearing father, went to the same exclusive schools, and married essentially the same woman from the same kind of family with overbearing fathers of their own … So yeah, I’m pretty sure I can be of some assistance to you.
MAC
Terrific. I’ll be in touch.
MAC starts offstage.
GREEN
And again … thank you for returning this. It means more to me than –
MAC
(leaving) Your children?
GREEN
(to himsel f) My children? (looking at painting) Is that true? Collectively? Or as individuals? (looks at the painting again. Thinks. Looks at CHRISTIE) How do you like your new life as a criminal, Christie?
CHRISTIE
Well, no one cares how long I take for lunch.
GREEN
Does that watch you’re wearing belong to me?
CHRISTIE
No. It belongs to me.
GREEN
I see. Am I supposed to offer you your job back? Is that what he wants me to do?
CHRISTIE
I think he’d prefer you to beg.
GREEN
I don’t mind begging. I beg all the time. I used to beg my father for a promotion just about every week. I recently begged my colleagues for cab fare. Almost every night I beg my wife for forgiveness and for sex, often simultaneously. Would you like me down on my knees?
CHRISTIE
That would be nice.
GREEN
(getting on his knees) Christie, would you please come back to work for me? I’ll double your salary.
CHRISTIE
(leaving) Go to hell.
GREEN
(as CHRISTIE leaves) Tell him I tried my best!
Blackout.
SCENE 21
PEACHUM and BROWN somewhere in PEACHUM’s house.
PEACHUM
Vinnie saw him leaving the alley.
BROWN
And who’s Vinnie again?
PEACHUM
He owns the club.
BROWN
Oh yes, the gangster.
PEACHUM
(shrugging) I just know him from owning the club.
BROWN
He’s a punk dago gangster, and you want me to believe he saw my agent kill your two whores.
PEACHUM
My two friends …
BROWN
Your friends the whores … who just about anyone might have had it in for.
PEACHUM
Might have had … But we both know your agent had a definite reason. And okay, that was from something that might have been a mistake on my part … You know, taking out a little insurance so you’d do the right thing with me when the time came … But what your agent did was too much.
BROWN
Too much …
PEACHUM
Yeah … and in case you’re planning to do something similar, just remember that there are photos of –
BROWN
He’s a Mormon, you know. Or something like that. Anyway, what … happened to us got to him in a way I couldn’t understand or control.
PEACHUM
But it didn’t affect you like that?
BROWN
I thought it was funny. I even kept the bra as a souvenir. And as for Agent Stringer, I’ll make sure he’s properly disciplined.
PEACHUM
No, no, that’s all right. We’ll take care of him.
BROWN
Sorry. I can’t allow that.
PEACHUM
They were our people. (leaving) You can’t stop that.
BROWN just watches him go.
Blackout.
SCENE 22
MAC sits on a park bench, wearing a hat and coat with the collar turned up. POLLY stands some distance away, watching him.
POLLY
Why is this up to you?
MAC
I wanted to make sure it was done right.
POLLY
You still had feelings for her, didn’t you?
MAC
They don’t get to do that to any of us. They’ve got bigger crooks they should be concentrating on.
POLLY
Says you …
MAC
There’s something wrong with how the wealth is distributed in this country. It’s all going to explode one day, you watch.
POLLY
What the hell are you going on about?
MAC
I’m a Bolshevik. That’s how we talk. Listen, I think you should go now. He could come along any minute.
POLLY
He walks home this way every night?
MAC
Unless he’s off slicing someone up. Get going, Polly. If you’re here, I’ll be worried you might get hurt.
POLLY
Afraid you’ll lose your concentration? It’s been a long tim
e since you killed someone. Maybe you’ve lost the knack.
MAC pulls out his switchblade and flicks it open with lightning speed.
POLLY
Oh, so it has to be the knife. Why? He’s probably carrying at least two .38s, but you’ve got a reputation to maintain so out comes the –
MAC hears something.
MAC
That could be him. Get out of here.
POLLY
(leaving) Okay … but I thought we were a team.
POLLY is gone. STRINGER appears on the path, moving very quickly. By the time MAC stands, STRINGER is close and MAC has to step back to get out the knife. They come to a standstill.
STRINGER
(looking at MAC) That it? Just the blade? Good luck, pal.
MAC moves in slowly. STRINGER pulls a gun. Sound of a gunshot. STRINGER falls to the floor, dead. POLLY comes onstage holding a gun.
POLLY
I told you. (leaving) Next time just listen, okay.
MAC
(following her) Sure.
IVES and PORK come out of the bushes.
IVES
She didn’t know we were here?
PORK
I guess not.
IVES
You think he did?
PORK
He told me he didn’t need me. But he knows I’d never let him go into something like this alone. I always watch his back. I mean that’s my job, right?
IVES
Maybe he wants you to move on. You know, stop worrying about him and just start looking out for yourself like everybody else does.
PORK
Well, that would be a total change in how we operate … because in our crowd, everyone always looks out for the other guy.
They start off.
PORK
That’s our thing, right? We don’t have much. But we got that thing.
PORK and IVES leave. Two BEGGARS suddenly appear, remove everything of value from STRINGER’s body in record time, and scurry away.
Blackout.
SCENE 23
POLLY and MAC on the street. MAC whistles for a cab.
POLLY
Satisfied?
MAC
With what?
POLLY
Me. Are you satisfied with how I did? I know that was a test. Telling Pork in front of me that you didn’t need him, so I’d think he wouldn’t be there to back you up.
MAC
Was he there?
POLLY
I don’t know. But that was the point. Me not knowing so I’d think you were all alone. And that was the test, right? To see if I’d come through for you.
MAC
Don’t be upset. It was just to see if you had the knack, nothing more, really. I mean it’s one thing to talk about it …
POLLY
And if I didn’t have “the knack”?
MAC
(producing a gun) There was always this …
POLLY
Anyway, now you know for sure. I won’t just die for you … I can kill for you too.
MAC
In other words, you’re perfect.
They continue on.
Blackout.
SCENE 24
GREEN, MERCER, and HALLIWELL are in the bankers’ club, standing on their chairs.
MERCER
The man thinks he’s Robin Hood. It’s just so naive and –
HALLIWELL
Reckless. Reckless and socially disruptive. A certain amount, okay? That’s what we do, we give a certain amount … always have.
GREEN
He wants it all.
HALLIWELL
We know …
GREEN
Dispersed to a number of charities …
MERCER
What charities?
HALLIWELL
I wouldn’t even know where to start.
GREEN
I’ve got a list. It’s quite long, really. I don’t know how he dug them all up.
MERCER
And he’s not keeping any of it for himself?
GREEN
He’s going to take a commission.
HALLIWELL
Well, I find that strangely reassuring.
MERCER
Yes, at least we know there’s some sense to it. (pointing down) There it is again. I told you. It’s a rat.
GREEN
Are you sure?
MERCER
Definitely.
GREEN
Because I don’t mind standing up here for a rat. But if it’s just a mouse and we’re discovered like this …
MERCER
It’s a rat.
HALLIWELL
(to GREEN) So … if we don’t do this thing he wants us to do, he’ll have us done away with?
GREEN
Or turn us into the authorities. He’s not sure which. I think he’ll kill us myself.
HALLIWELL
Do we get to choose?
GREEN
I think we only get to choose whether or not to hand over the money.
MERCER
Well, it is only a million.
GREEN
A million plus, actually.
MERCER
Plus what?
GREEN
A lot. Every dollar we pull out of the market when it starts to wobble. Not just like it is now … but seriously wobble. (pointing) Look … I’m pretty sure that’s a mouse. I think I’ll get down.
MERCER
If I was you, I’d stay put until you’re positive.
HALLIWELL
(to GREEN) So … he knows the market is going to start seriously wobbling.
GREEN
Yes. Remember? He told us …
MERCER
He was just speculating. But how did he find out for sure? That plan of ours is beyond the understanding of anyone who doesn’t have access to the members of this club.
GREEN
He had access to me. The kind of access that was absolutely terrifying.
MERCER
You told him.
GREEN
He was going to kill me.
HALLIWELL
Well, you should have just let him.
MERCER
Yes, this is bigger than your sad little life. This is about facilitating a necessary contraction in the economy –
HALLIWELL
To be followed by an unprecedented boom.
MERCER
A boom worth millions … billions …
They both look at him.
HALLIWELL
Was this about us not giving you that five dollars for cab fare?
GREEN
(shrugging) Only in part.
They both look at him again.
GREEN
What are you thinking?
They both look up. The ceiling collapses on top of GREEN, and huge chunks of ornate plaster fall on his head, killing him instantly.
Blackout.
SCENE 25
The Bluebird Club. Not too crowded. IVES is onstage just sitting on a stool. MYRNA and PEACHUM are at a table.
MYRNA
What’s wrong with him?
PEACHUM
He misses Jenny. I’m told he had a thing for her.
MYRNA
Doesn’t he know she was a worthless little guttersnipe?
PEACHUM
Love is blind, my sweet.
MYRNA
(drinking) Blind is one thing. But just plain stupid?
BROWN enters with two FEDERAL AGENTS.
MYRNA
Look at that ape. God, I can’t wait to cut him into bite-sized pieces.
PEACHUM
We might have to settle for something a little less satisfying.
The FEDERAL AGENTS hang back while BROWN joins PEACHUM and MYRNA.
BROWN
(sitting) A little slow tonight. Folks must have heard there was going to be a raid.
PEACHUM
You think that’s it?
&nb
sp; BROWN
Well, I tried to get the word out. I’m not interested in putting simple pleasure seekers in jail. I just wanted this place closed. And for good.
PEACHUM
It’ll just open again somewhere else.
BROWN
Maybe. But you won’t be around to see it. You know, it truly annoys me that you and your pals have places like this to hang out and casually make your plans to break the law.
PEACHUM
You’d prefer we made our plans somewhere less pleasant?
BROWN
Yes. In some other country, in fact. (producing some documents) Your exemption from prosecution, signed by the governor, and two first-class tickets for a one-way voyage across the Atlantic … leaving tonight, actually. Now, all I need from you is the documentation that incriminates those bankers.
PEACHUM
That’s on the way. But in the meantime that “exemption” from the governor isn’t worth the paper it’s written on so you can just keep that. Those tickets out of here might come in handy, though. (reaching out) I’ll take those now …
BROWN
Not until –
PEACHUM
Now. Please.
PEACHUM gestures for BROWN to turn around. BROWN sees PORK, who has snuck up behind them and pointed a shotgun at the backs of the FEDERAL AGENTS.
PORK
(to IVES) Hey, you wanna snap out of it and give me a hand here?
IVES
Sorry.
IVES pulls a gun and heads over to disarm the FEDERAL AGENTS.
BROWN
(handing over the tickets) The place is surrounded by police. At least a dozen of them.
MYRNA
Well, ain’t that just completely terrifying … (slaps BROWN on the side of the head) This is gonna teach you not to mess with your betters.
PEACHUM
Those police officers have all gone home by now, Agent Brown.
BROWN
And why would they have done that?
VINNIE enters, smiling.
PEACHUM
Because my friend there asked them to … after he’d issued them their payments of course.
VINNIE
Just like always …
VINNIE disarms BROWN. Holds a gun on him.
PEACHUM
So it’s just us then.
MYRNA
(to BROWN) I’m gonna eat your heart. And if I’m still hungry … your liver.
BROWN
(to PEACHUM) Why’s she talking like that? What’s wrong with her?
PEACHUM
It’s the kind of thing she says when she’s had too much to drink. Don’t worry about it. (to MYRNA) There isn’t time. We’ve got a boat to catch.
King of Thieves Page 5