It Will Always Be You (You Series Book 1)

by Tina Ness

  Well, that was until I met you, Beth. You are the first person I have dated since that horrible day. I was afraid that if I told you this information, it might make you feel that you needed to treat me differently, just like everyone else in my life has been trying to do since the day of her accident. I didn’t want you to think I was broken or fragile. I wanted you to get to know me first before springing this all on you. It wasn’t fair for me to make that decision for you, and after our first date, I knew I needed to tell you.

  I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but I have to tell you that from the very first time I saw you, I knew I needed to get to know you. You do something to me that I can’t quite explain, but it’s amazing. It makes me feel alive, hopeful, and, well, makes me feel like me. I haven’t felt like me in a long time. I feel a connection to you, and I sensed you felt it too. I would really like to keep getting to know you and to have another chance to kiss that sweet mouth of yours.

  I don’t only want to dream about you anymore, I want to know you, learn you, and make you feel as happy as you make me every time I’m near you.

  Marshall

  I hug the letter tight to my chest and stare at the wall, feeling heavy with regret. I could have saved myself from this mess. Had I only read the letter, I may not have left that night and could be in Marshall’s arms. But that doesn’t explain Aubrey or the girl in his bed, though. He said he hasn’t dated. Does that mean Aubrey is just his plaything?

  A loud bang wakes me in my bed where I had fallen asleep with Marshall’s letter still held tight to my chest. It’s a quarter after six, so Krystal must be here. I struggle up off the bed with my good arm. My other arm hangs limply by my side while my shoulder screams with fire.

  I look through the peephole just to be sure before I open the door for Krystal, who is still banging wildly.

  “Damn, Lizzie, you trying to give me a heart attack? I was beginning to think I’d need to break down the door.”

  “I fell asleep, Krystal. Sorry.”

  “No need to be sorry. You just scared me, that’s all.”

  My friend’s uncharacteristic worry warms my heart. I try to take one of her bags from her, but she demands I go sit my ass down on the couch. I lock the front door before I do. Krystal dumps her overnight bag by the door of my spare bedroom/office and heads into the kitchen to drop off the food. She comes out with a glass of water and a giant white pain pill.

  “I’d imagine you need one of these.” She drops the pill into my hand.

  I pop the pill in my mouth, take a sip of water, and lean back.

  “I have something for you from Marshall.” She reaches into her back pocket. “But you can’t read it until you’ve read the other letter.”

  I take the letter and look up at her. “How do you know about the letter?” I say, studying her face.

  “Marshall and I have had a few conversations in the past few days.”

  I look down at my hands, where I’m holding his letter, feeling slow to process what this means.

  Krystal places a hand on my knee. “After you had left the other night, I had planned on giving that son of a bitch an earful, but turns out, there are a few things about Marshall you should know.”

  “I read the letter when I got home today,” I tell her, but a wave of jealously washes over me when I realize Krystal knew about his wife before I did. “What other conversations did you have with him?”

  “At the hospital and on the phone earlier today.”

  My eyes snap up at her. “He was at the hospital?”

  “I went out to the parking lot with the intention of dragging you back in to talk to him that night. When we didn’t come back, he came out to look for us. He showed up just as you were being wheeled into the ambulance. He was in no shape to drive, so I drove him to the hospital.”

  I rest my head back on the sofa. Had he been in my room like I had sensed in the hospital? Again I look over at her. “So my parents met him?”

  “Well, no. We sat in the waiting room along with your parents and Aunt Margaret. He sat there so still and quiet that I figured your parents didn’t even notice he was there, so I stayed quiet and skipped introductions. He was still sitting there when I came back from your room. He still looked the same, like he hadn’t moved a muscle since he’d sat down. I filled him in on your condition. He asked if I would take down his number and keep him posted. The next morning, he was there in the waiting room. You would have thought that he’d sat there all night, but I had brought him to his car, and he’d changed his clothes.” Krystal got up. “Why don’t you read that letter.” She points at the letter gripped tightly in my hands. “I’ll get us some dinner.”

  I nod, and she heads to the kitchen. This time, the envelope says, “Beth, Please Read.” I turn it over and break its seal.

  Dear Beth,

  I hope your recovery is going as well as Krystal tells me it is. I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve just been through. I’m here for you if you ever need anything. You were so angry with me, and from what your friend Krystal has told me, I understand why. I would really love to see you when you feel up to it and explain it all to you. I will be in town a few more days since I was able to stay busy at work. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, Beth. I hope you can forgive me for everything. I hope to hear from you soon.

  Marshall

  His phone number is written at the bottom of the letter, and before I think twice, I dial his number.

  Chapter 13

  I don’t recall a time I have been this nervous and excited at the same time. He will be here any minute. Krystal is in the kitchen cleaning up from dinner when I hear a knock at the door. The second I hear it, it’s like everything goes into slow motion. As I make my way to the foyer, I notice the peonies on the half-moon table. My heart is dancing so wildly that I need to stop my forward momentum for a moment to try and slow it down. I fear I may pass out, and I certainly don’t need to add that to my “embarrassing moments” list.

  I unlock the door and ease it open. There he stands before me in godlike perfection. I want to fling myself at him, tell him I’m sorry for not hearing him out, for causing him any reason to worry, for all the pain he has been through. But before I say a word, he has stepped inside toward me, clearly not wanting to touch me, maybe fearing he’ll hurt me. He reaches out and gently tucks my hair behind my ear.

  “It’s so good to see you, Beth. I was so worried.” He swallows hard, like he’s holding something back. “I want to hug you so badly, but I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

  Tears threaten my eyes at his sweet words. I love that he calls me Beth. I love that he already has something special for only me. “It’s okay if you hug me, Marshall.”

  A single tear rolls down my cheek as I look up at him, deep into his denim blues. His thumb gently wipes away my tear, not breaking his locked gaze on my eyes. He wraps one arm around my waist, pulling me in close, grabbing onto my hand with the other, and he kisses my head, breathing deeply into my hair. We hold still that way for a while before my gaze moves to the flowers.

  “Was it you?” I mutter.

  He leans back, locking eyes with me again.

  “Was what me?”

  I nod over to the flowers, which are behind him.

  He turns back to look. “Maybe,” he says with a sheepish grin.

  “Marshall, it’s too much.” More than one tear escapes my eyes this time. “How did you know it was my favorite flower?”

  “I overheard you telling Krystal how gorgeous you thought they were about a year ago,” he offers, again wiping at one of my tears.

  “You heard that?”

  More tears rush from my eyes. I can’t get my emotions together. I hate being this fragile. Maybe it was a bad idea to have him here so soon, but I can’t be more elated with what he has just shared with me. This man is full of surprises.

  “You remembered what a flower looked like from a year ago?”

  “Well, when someone yo
u can’t quit thinking about speaks—and I’ve been thinking about you since the very first time I saw you—you listen, even if they won’t actually talk to you.”

  I feel my face flush. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything.” His hand gently reaches for the back of my neck. “Just enjoy them.”

  His lips touch mine, carefully avoiding the tender side of my mouth. A few gentle nips at the corner of my lips, and I’m longing to get closer to him. Placing my hands on his waist, I pull him in tighter, forgetting about my shoulder, but only for a moment. An involuntary yelp escapes from my longing mouth.

  He quickly pulls back, panicked. “Did I hurt you?”

  “It’s just my shoulder. I’m all right.”

  A look of uneasiness washes over his face. “Let’s go sit down. You should be taking it easy.” He grabs my hand, leading me into the living room.

  “Hi, Marshall,” Krystal’s voice bellows from the kitchen.

  He sits, easing me down to sit next to him. “Hey, Krystal. Thanks for staying here with Beth tonight.”

  “Of course,” she yells back.

  His attention is back on me. “How are you feeling?”

  “Not bad. My shoulder is a bit achy from being dislocated, but the doctor said it might be a week or more before that goes away.” I watch as he studies the bruise and stitches on the right side of my cheek bone near my hairline.

  “This looks like it hurts,” he says, gently brushing my hair back with his fingertips.

  “The pain pills they have me on work wonders,” I say with a soft a laugh, but the worry in his eyes doesn’t diminish. My attention moves to Krystal as she enters the room.

  “I’m going to head to bed and let you two talk.” She stops just outside the spare bedroom door. “Good night.”

  We both bid her good night before she closes the door behind her. A lump forms in my throat with the thought of the questions I want so much to ask him, but I still fear that the answers may not be what I want to hear.

  “Sorry about your wife,” I blurt out before I can change my mind about bringing up his painful past. Regret takes only seconds when he remains silent. Heat rises to my face, and my fingers begin to fidget with my ring.

  He moves closer to me and touches my fidgeting hand until I stop, then brings my hand to his lips, applying a whisper of a kiss that causes my heart to flutter. “Beth, I was going to tell you about her that night at the hotel, but you left before I got a chance.”

  “I need to ask you something,” I say reluctantly. “That woman you were with, in your hotel and the other night—”

  “Is my sister,” he interrupts.

  “Oh. So what about the blond woman in your bed?”

  “Blond woman,” he mouths in confusion before laughing. “You must mean my nieces, Emma and Kayla. They had a ball that night in the Jacuzzi, made a big mess, which is why I needed more towels. Then they crashed out in my bed. I didn’t have the heart to wake the little buggers, so the girls stayed the night and my sister Aubrey came and got them the next morning.”

  Every word this man speaks makes me fall harder for him. I just stare at him in awe.

  “You’re not going to rat me out to the hotel authorities for having extra guests in my room are you?”

  We both laugh.

  A wave of regret for not hearing him out that night grabs ahold of me. “I thought you and Aubrey …”

  “Yeah, I kind of figured you might have,” he says. “My sister was having rough day, and I knew if I didn’t answer her call, she would just keep calling me back.”

  He takes my hands in his. The warmth of my hands in his makes me feel protected, and I can’t help but wish for him to bring me in tight to his chest to comfort me further.

  He continues, “I can’t deny that losing my wife has been the hardest thing I’ve had to face, but it is in the past. She will never leave my mind completely, but I really do want to move on with my life. Right now, I just want to focus on you getting better.” He takes a deep breath before speaking again. “I wish I would have followed you to your car that night so none of this would have happened to you.”

  “Marshall, no. Please don’t say that. None of this is your fault.”

  His pained eyes stare into mine, making my heart hurt. “I just can’t help but want to take care of you.”

  “Were you in my hospital room the night of my attack?” I ask, praying that it wasn’t a dream, that I didn’t imagine it.

  His uncertain eyes stare intently at me. “I was. Krystal told the nurses I was your fiancé so they’d let me in. I hope it’s okay. I just needed to see for myself that you were okay.”

  I’m reminded of the sense of ease I’d felt that night in the hospital, and I feel a sudden need to keep him near me.

  “That’s fine,” I say, holding back the desire I have to ask him to stay here tonight so I can feel safe and cared for. I’d known I was safe when I stayed at my parents’ the past two days, but there is just something about being near Marshall that makes my fears diminish.

  We are silent for several seconds before he leans forward. “I should get going and let you get some rest. Unless there’s anything else you want to ask me?”

  I don’t want him to go. I need him here. Fear of him leaving overwhelms me, and the words leave my tongue. “Please don’t go. Stay here tonight.”

  Why doesn’t the thought of this bother me, after what just happened to me? I should never trust any man I don’t know really well. Why do I feel like Marshall is the key to my sanity? Have I gone bat-shit crazy? His pained expression is unnerving. What the heck must he think of me? After what I just went through, now I just ask him to sleep over?

  “I mean, it’s getting late, and you may just want to crash here. This couch is really comfortable … and I have extra blankets and pillows … if you want to stay.” My face burns with humiliation as I stumble over my words, wishing I could take back my invite.

  He smiles at me, looking mildly amused. “If you want me to stay, I’d be happy to. I have no problem sleeping here on the couch.”

  “I’ll grab you some blankets and a pillow.” I get up and head to the hallway closet, struck by the stupidity of asking a tall man to sleep on a couch when he has a king-sized luxury bed waiting for him only five miles away.

  As I grab for the bedding, he comes up behind me, placing his hands gently on my hips, causing an instant fire in my belly.

  “Here. Let me get those. You need to be taking it easy, remember?”

  Chapter 14

  While Marshall fixes the couch, I grab the new toothbrush I got after getting my teeth cleaned last week and the mini toothpaste that came with it and bring them to the guest bathroom. I show him to the bathroom before walking to my room. I’m pleasantly surprised when he walks me to my bedroom doorway and wishes me good-night with a soft kiss followed by a whisper in my ear.

  “Sleep well, beautiful. I’m not far away if you need me.”

  I want to tell him I need him to hold me. I need him to be next to me. I stand there, staring at the door, searching for an excuse to get him to stay and to give him the opportunity to kiss me one more time.

  I brush my teeth and struggle into my pajamas before heading to my bed. I find myself staring at the doorway, playing with the idea of claiming that I need something so I can see him as long as possible. Can I just go out and ask him to come hold me, comfort me, and just stay close to me so I don’t feel afraid?

  Fear of rejection wins. I lie flat on my back, my gaze up at the ceiling, although I can hardly see a thing since my room is so dark. My imagination swirls as I envision his soft lips all over me, his strong hands floating across my body, and his warm breath all over me. Any more of those thoughts and I would have to take matters into my own hands.

  Many more moments pass before the thought of him walking in on me pleasuring myself (a thought I have had before) flows into my mind only to turn me on even more. I get up out of
bed and head to my bathroom to splash cold water on my face and get a grip before I head back to bed. I pull the covers up to my neck and force my eyes closed, hoping to sleep away the twisted and foolish thought that somehow sex with Marshall will make all my fear, worry, and pain just go away.

  The clock reads 1:08 a.m. when I’m awakened by the pain in my shoulder. I whimper as I roll to my other side, relieving the stinging pain that shoots to my fingertips. I have kicked off all of my covers and am shivering with cold. I pull the cover back up over me and settle in before the hallway light turns on.

  “Beth?” Marshall speaks softly.

  “Hmm?” I moan.

  “I thought I heard a noise. You okay?”

  “I’m all right,” I say, only to regret it.

  “Do you need anything?”

  Yes. You.

  “I’m okay.”

  “All right then. Good-night.” I hear the hallway floor creak as he turns.

  “Marshall,” I exclaim before I even know what I want to say. My back is turned to the door.

  He stops, and I hear his footsteps coming farther into the room. “Yes, Beth?”

  I shift to my back, but I don’t look at him as I search for the right words.

  “What is it?” He comes over to the bed and sits.

  At last, I find the courage to look over at him. The light from the hallway paints perfect highlights onto his chiseled cheekbones and jawline, causing any chill I may have to turn to fire.

  A look of concern washes over his face, making me long to run my fingers over its perfection.