“Hello,” I whispered quietly, standing up and heading for the deck outside. I didn’t want to disrupt anyone’s beautiful meal.
“Logan, it’s Sarah,” my agent’s voice was an unwelcome reminder of what Nate and I faced in two days. I had to get back to work. “You got the job!” She screamed into the phone. I had to pull it away from my ear before she deafened me.
“The job? What job?” It wasn’t dawning on me what job my agent was talking about.
“The job! You got the Japanese cooking contest!”
I froze, my heart plummeting to the ground.
“They want you to be the judge. They’ve sent over a contract. They’re offering $1 million!” I could imagine my agent bouncing up and down in joy. Part of that $1 million would be hers if I took the job.
“How long would shooting be?” I asked, no enthusiasm in my voice. Nate had agreed to a city a couple of hours away by plane not one on the other side of the world.
“Nine months and then two months of publicity touring,” her excitement was beginning to cool as she realised I wasn’t jumping for joy with her.
“I’ll think about it,” I said slowly, hanging up the phone before she could start trying to push me into accepting. I knew I needed a little distance from her to think things through. I needed to talk about this with Nate.
I headed back to the table. My mum was still off doing the rounds, talking to everyone she knew, leaving me alone with Maddie. I told her about the offer.
“It’s a huge offer. You’re career will explode,” she said and I groaned, wishing I had never auditioned for the job.
“I know.” I shook my head, wondering what I was going to say to Nate. I wanted to at least get his opinion on it. I trusted him.
After Sails had closed its doors after an incredibly successful opening night, Ollie, Nate, Maddie and I raised our glasses of champagne in celebration. Ollie and Nate both looked exhausted from the stress of the last few weeks.
“Ollie, I haven’t been this proud to call you my brother since you set off the fire alarm when we were fourteen to get out of a math test.” I hugged him, aware that his eyes never strayed too far from Maddie.
“Thank you for coming to help me. I can always count on you,” he said.
“I’m your twin. If you can’t count on me then who can you count on?” We laughed as Maddie walked over towards Ollie. I left them alone to stare longingly and awkwardly at each other.
“What’s up?” Nate said, knowing something wasn’t right with me.
“Can I tell you tomorrow? I don’t want to ruin the night.” I knew the moment those words left my mouth I would now have to tell him. Otherwise he would spend all night trying to figure out what I was going to say imagining far worse situations than the real one.
“Just tell me now,” he insisted. I led him out to the quiet deck where hours before I had received the phone call. I looked up at the stars before I spoke, admiring their beauty before I told him the news.
“I got a huge job offer to film a show…in Japan. I would be gone almost a year and the pay is $1 million,” I risked looking at him, watching the emotions flash through his eyes, anger, hurt, disappointment. I looked away.
“What did you say?” His voice was guarded, like he was afraid to express a view.
“That I’d think about it,” I continued, “I wanted to talk to you about it before making any decisions.”
He laughed sarcastically. I reached out to hold his hand but he pulled it away.
“Talk to me? You mean tell me your decision. I know you well enough to know that you’ve already made up your mind,” he turned to go back inside.
“I wanted your opinion because that’s what people do in relationships I think. They talk big life decisions through together.”
“It’s for offers like this one that you left home. You wanted to make it, to make money, to travel. This is everything you want. I’m not going to hold you back,” his voice was harsh, the words difficult to say.
“Nate -.” I started but he stopped me.
“Don’t you dare ask me to go with you! My home, my business is here. I was willing to spend half my time in a city for you. You won’t even stay in the same country for me.”
He walked away, stopping for split second when he heard my cries before moving again faster than before. That wasn’t even what I had been about to say.
Chapter Fifteen
“You’re just leaving.” Ollie still couldn’t get over the fact as he drove me to the airport the next day. I was leaving because I had a life and responsibilities to get back to. Also, because I may have once again been running from Nate and all those feelings. “Einstein said insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” Ollie quoted Einstein at me like it would help. I ignored the implications of the quote, not wanting to believe I was driving myself insane. What did Einstein know anyway?
“Japan is the biggest career opportunity I will ever get,” I tried to explain but I didn’t have the energy too.
“So?” Ollie’s’ shrug made the offer seem trivial. He’d never been impressed or jealous of my money or my job, even when I had been partying with celebs and holidaying all over the world. He measured success according to happiness. And so, he believed himself to be the more successful twin. I guess he was.
“So… I will achieve everything I wanted,” I replied, Nate’s gorgeous face drifting into my mind. It made my heart clench painfully in my chest. I felt nauseous just thinking about him.
“Will you be happy?” Ollie asked and I groaned. Now he was a chef, business owner and counsellor.
“I’m not happy now! At least then I’ll be happy and richer!”
“You’re unhappy now because you know this is a bad decision. You’re taking the easy way out,” his words were annoyingly truthful.
I thought about the job seriously, about what Ollie had said. I thought about Nate and how he made me feel.
“Nate makes me happier than $1 million,” I put the problem in its simplest form. “Nate actually makes me happier than having $1 million dollars.”
“How many people can say that about their boyfriend?” Ollie said as he U-turned.
I ran up the steps to the front porch, barging through the door and up the stairs. My heart pounded in excitement as I imagined Nate’s face when I told him how I felt. I opened his bedroom door, yelling out in surprise as I came face to face with Lia standing there in a bath towel and nothing else. She looked like she had just stepped out of the shower. She recoiled from the look on my face. It must have been pretty scary.
“Don’t bother telling him I came back,” I whispered, turning around to leave without waiting to even see Nate’s face.
“It’s not -.”
I left before she could even finish her sentence, not wanting to hear the excuses or whatever she’d been about to say.
I ran back to the car as Ollie was getting out.
“Let’s go,” I got in.
“What happened?” Ollie asked cautiously, obviously worried about what I was about to say.
“Lia was there already,” I stared out the window, trying to take my mind to a happy place where there was no Nate or Lia or unhappiness. It failed miserably as moments later, tears filled my eyes.
“I find that hard to believe,” Ollie doubted but I chose not to say anything more.
I gave him a big hug goodbye at the airport, promising to come back home within the next month to see him and Maddie. Saying goodbye to them all was always the hardest part. For weeks after leaving I always felt lonely and missed them terribly.
I walked into my loft hours later, dropping my duffle bag at the door and falling into a heap on my leather couch. I still had to make a decision on the job offer. Even when you were heartbroken and at your lowest, life went on. I no longer wanted the job though. I struggled living a couple hours away from home. The other side of the world didn’t seem like a recipe for happiness. Then again,
being a half a world away from Nate sounded nice right now.
A knock on the door forced me up out of the foetal position. I was happy to see my friend Paul on the other side.
“I thought it was you I heard stomping down the hallway,” he teased, holding a couple of wineglasses with one hand and a bottle in the other.
I gave my neighbour a hug, opening the door to let him in. Paul was one of my closest friends in the city. He lived across the hall from me. Our friendship had begun two years ago when I’d cut my hand while dicing an onion. I’d wrapped it in a tea towel and ran to the elevator, figuring it would need a stitch or two. Paul had gotten into the lift with me and seen my hand. I’d felt a huge surge of relief when he told me was a surgeon and taken a look at the cut. He’d given me two stitches in his apartment and then made an appointment for me at the hospital the next day. We’d been friends ever since. The fact that Paul was dating a guy called Mason kept our relationship strictly platonic.
We took a seat on the couch. Pouring the wine, he started bombarding me with questions.
“How’s the arm? I read about the attack online. Why didn’t you call me? Should I take a look at the x-rays?” Paul was an incredible doctor, but unfortunately he could never turn that part of himself off. Even when he wasn’t at the hospital he was thinking about his patients.
“My arm is fine. It’s my heart that’s a little damaged,” I told him about Nate and the job offer and Lia.
“Did you see or hear Nate with Lia?” He asked, enjoying my dramatic love life. His life was so calm and organised he’d taken to living vicariously through me. I didn’t blame him. I was a walking soap opera sometimes.
“No,” I mumbled, not liking where this was going. I was starting to wonder if I shouldn’t have at least confronted Nate before leaving.
“But you leapt to an assumption because your powers of deduction have proven themselves to be spot on,” his voice was gentle but mocking. “Remember when you thought the guy upstairs was a Spy?”
“In my defence, his hand-eye co-ordination was off the charts and he spoke Russian,” I laughed, suddenly wondering why I hadn’t spoken to Nate. I should have confronted him and asked him to tell me the truth, to look him in the eye before I’d jumped to conclusions. I was angry, he should have seen my anger instead of me running away.
“I’m going to go back there and demand the truth!” I felt empowered, standing up and pacing the length of the couch while Paul watched and sipped his wine.
“You go back there and ask him what’s going on!” He egged me on.
There was a knock at the door. I bolted towards the door and flung it open. My mouth dropped open when I saw an exhausted, pissed off looking Nate on my doorstep. I guess that saved me a trip.
Chapter Sixteen
His eyes hardened instantly when he saw Paul sitting on my couch.
Paul stood up, sizing Nate up like Nate was sizing him up. It was a rather primitive dance for two such sophisticated men. Poor Nate didn’t even realise Paul was the last guy he had to worry about hitting on me.
“Nate, I presume,” Paul stated, “You owe my friend an explanation. Logan, don’t run or back down,” Paul smiled, picked up the glasses of wine and crossed the hall into his own place.
“My friend Paul. You would like his partner, Mason, he’s a business advisor,” I watched as Nate visibly relaxed. I hadn’t invited him in yet.
“I’m really pissed Logan,” he stared at me intensely. I scoffed.
“I’m really pissed Nate,” I wondered how this impasse would end.
“Ollie told me you saw Lia,” he said curtly, “you thought that after one fight I’d sleep with my ex? Is that how you would behave?”
I couldn’t believe his audacity. He was turning this around to accuse me of cheating.
“I saw her naked in your bedroom!” I didn’t mention the towel. I thought naked had more dramatic impact.
He pushed his way past me into my apartment, dropping his bag down he looked around at my place. He’d never been here before. He took in my furniture, artwork and belongings in seconds. I could tell from his expression he liked the place. I refused to let that fact soften my anger towards him. I wanted the truth from him.
“Her hot water tank blew. She asked if she could shower at mine. To make sure she didn’t get the wrong impression I made sure I wasn’t around while she was there.”
I felt like an idiot, like one of those girls in a horror movie who goes outside into the creepy night because she hears a noise. I was one of those girls. My face heated as I looked away in embarrassment. I was both relieved and devastated from his words. Devastated because of my own stupidity.
“That’s reasonable,” I whispered, sitting down on the couch and putting my head in my hands.
“I love you. You infuriate me, you make me miserable, but I love you because you make me happier than anyone else,” he knelt down beside me. I raised my eyes to his.
“I’m turning down Japan because you make me happier than any job or salary,” my heartbeat sped up as I looked at him, my hands moving at their own accord to cup his face.
“Good, because I really didn’t want to leave Ollie in charge for a year,” his laughter was choked as he pulled me into a kiss that left me wanting for more.
“No one makes me more irrational and vulnerable than you,” I whispered, running my fingers through his hair.
“Next time, don’t run,” he picked me up, carrying me into my bedroom. “Then again, I’m not going to let you out of my sight anymore.”
Sometime later as we lay exhausted and sweaty, my body sprawled across his chest. I asked him a question that had been bugging me for days.
“Confess now, how much do you love my book?” I teased, loving the way he groaned.
“I love it,” he mumbled, as if I had tortured the words out of him.
“How much do you watch my show?”
“I’ve seen every episode four or five times. The one where you’re scuba diving in that gold and green bikini, lets just say I’ve seen that one more than five times,” I burst into laughter as his arms tightened around me.
“I knew you were my biggest fan,” I joked, “you should be chair of my fan club.”
“Go to sleep,” he sighed, knowing he was never going to hear the end of this. It was too endearing that he liked my work so much. Nate, a guy who found only three shows worth watching, who saw maybe two movies a year, loved my show.
“What’s your favourite part of my show?” I asked, my fingers tracing circles on his flat stomach.
“Any scene you’re in,” he said softly, and my heart almost burst with love.
“Such a good answer,” I kissed him, happier in this moment with him than I could ever remembering being.
This time though I wasn’t going to walk away. This time, I wasn’t letting him go.
Keep an eye out for the next book in the Sail Away Series:
Love Ignites
More Information:
http://julesdeplume.blogspot.co.nz
Love Simmers Page 7