Desired: Loving An Alpha Male

by S. K. Lessly

  “They set you up,” I heard her whisper. I nodded my head and didn’t reply.

  The shit they did was still fresh in my mind. It had happened about six years ago and just like Georgia that shit was still warm.

  “What did you do?” she asked.

  I took a deep breath, “Well, I did what I was good at. I got to the bottom of the shit and cleared my name by finding the person that set me up.”

  “Did that person get arrested?”

  I didn’t want to answer her question. This was too much for me to share, but I heard myself say, “No, baby, he wasn’t arrested, but I can tell you that I took care of him none the less.”

  It was her turn to be quiet, and I let her. This was a lot for her to take in. She just told me about killing someone and seeing all that blood and bodies, and I just indirectly told her that I had committed that same sin.

  “So your family, they didn’t help you clear your name?”

  I chuckled, “Oh, no, baby… they were the main ones trying to bury me. They believed everything that was being said about me and probably still believe that shit. They were condemning me more than the CIA was… So much for loyalty, right?”

  “Wow. I’m sorry, Drake.”

  I rolled, propped myself up on my elbows and forearm, and faced her. “Baby, don’t waste your sorry on me, okay? I’ve done some fucked up shit throughout my days in the agency. But what’s fucked up is how they treated me after all I had done for them. The fact that they were saying I was unstable and shit, fucked with me. So I got out of the agency and never looked back.”

  “Has your family found the error of their ways and tried to mend what they’ve done?”

  “Not in the way that you think. My father said, ‘Well, what did you expect from us? You joined up with that agency and that’s all they do is set up their own people.’ He didn’t take accountability for his part or my siblings and mother. So I say fuck them every chance I get, and I continue to shit on them when necessary.”

  “What if they change? Would you forgive them? What if they need you one day? Would you help them?”

  “Baby, I don’t know if I would. It would depend. I’m not an honorable man. If you fuck with me, I will fuck with you far worse than you could ever imagine. I’m not ashamed of that fact at all. So it would take a lot for me to do it. I’m all for the loyalty thing. If I give you my trust, I expect it in return. Fuck that up, and I will forever be your enemy, and honestly, baby, you don’t want me for an enemy.”

  I let that sink in for a bit before I added, “You don’t have anything to worry about that though.”

  “Yeah… I guess I don’t…” She turned from me, got up and walked into the bathroom.

  I closed my eyes and laid back on the bed.

  I’m such a fucking idiot.

  Chapter 8

  Georgia

  I got up early the next morning and unraveled from Drake.

  Last night was emotional, to say the least. I mean, I really don’t understand why I gave up all that information to him. He claimed he understood, but I really wished he’d elaborated more. I’ve never in my life repeated any of that to anyone. My past was just as I said- mine. No one would understand the dynamics of my family life and those that do pretend to would fail at it.

  The story of my life is typical of any female growing up in one of the worst neighborhoods in Baltimore. My neighborhood, Edmondson Heights, was filled with abandoned buildings that drug dealers used frequently as well as addicts. There was crime of all kinds but mainly it was the drugs that brought the area down.

  Both my parents were addicts and barely around to take care of me. My mom wasn’t always an addict. I have memories of her taking me to the park, baking cakes for my birthdays. I remember her taking me to school. My mom was the glam girl. She always dressed very well and smelled pretty; that’s what I remember of her. We had food on the table, and I had almost anything I would ever want. We weren’t living in Edmondson during that time. We lived in a pretty nice area of Baltimore, at least that’s what I remember. I also remember visiting my grandparents a lot back then.

  I can’t begin to tell you what happened. I mean, one minute my mom was happy, smiling and laughing all the time. Then the next she was sad and crying all the time. She started to wither away with each passing day. She stopped caring about looking nice, smelling nice. She stopped caring about taking me to the park and making dinner.

  Then the random men started coming. She stopped taking me to my grandparents. One day, she came and got me from school and instead of us going to our nice apartments, she took us to this rundown high rise in Edmondson Heights. Still to this day, I can’t tell you what happened that changed her. My mom never told me, and I never asked.

  I watched my loving-life mom turn into a bitter fiend in less than a month. Her boyfriend, who she told me was my father, became her supplier, pimp, and executioner. She long forgot about me. I used to have to find something to feed myself, if there was anything in the cabinets to find, and I used to walk back and forth to and from school alone. My school was far, and it took me a long time to get there on my little legs. I passed by street hustlers and gang bangers every day. I wasn’t afraid though. Seeing them was like window dressing for the neighborhood I was in. But I refused to miss school. School was my way out. It was my escape from the hell that was my home.

  Coming home from school one day, I found my mom dead on the steps of my apartment complex. I ran into the apartment to get my father and found him lying on the couch dead too. I was nine at the time, so I just called the cops and waited. It took them a few hours to come. When they did, I became the ward of the state. They threw me into some house in the neighborhood, and I went from hell to completely hopelessness. The two people I had to call mother and father were horrible to me and the six kids they housed. Mother called me fat and told me I would be nothing but a whore or a fiend just like my mama. Father tried his best to see me naked every chance he got. I wanted to leave, especially when I was attacked, but after that thing with Jay Rock, I couldn’t do it. I stayed there until I was seventeen. The day I turned seventeen, I left for college and never looked back.

  I don’t tell anyone my story because I don’t need sympathy from people. I never let my past hold me back, but it became the reason for my future. What always seems to happen though is I surround myself with people that truly care nothing about me. I mean look at Gavin. I loved him and thought he felt the same way. But when I think about it, the constant “Georgia, do this” or “Georgia, don’t do that” or, which, by the way, is my favorite, “Georgia, why can’t you be more like Maya,” it was obvious that he didn’t love me for who I was. I don’t know what he thought I could be, but clearly I wasn’t the woman for him. If I were, he wouldn’t have banged my best friend.

  Couldn’t he have had sex with another woman? On our wedding night with the maid of honor is so freaking cliché. And Maya, I thought she was family. That’s what she would always say to me, that I was the sister she never had. But at the end of the day, as with most people in my life, she stabbed me in the back.

  I think I need to re-evaluate my lifestyle and the people I keep close to me. My problem is I open myself up too soon to people that haven’t even proven themselves worthy of my love, worthy of my heart. That needs to change. And maybe it should start now.

  I moved into the bathroom and took a long shower, trying to figure out a way I could tell Drake that I didn’t want to hang out with him anymore. However, whatever plan I tried to think of, I just didn’t like the outcome. I didn’t want to admit it out loud, but I loved being with this man. I loved the way he looked at me, how he touched me. He was possessive at times, but there were those times where he just let me be myself.

  But I had to keep this in perspective. This was just an arrangement that wasn’t going to last. When we go our separate ways, I will never see him again.

  I closed my eyes and let the hot water fall over my face to hide the tears that
were starting to fall. I didn’t want this to end. I wanted forever with this man, but I knew for a fact he was probably not good for me. He’d said it multiple times, and from the first night I met him, I knew he was bad for me.

  I should be thankful that this would end soon. But part of me, the wanna-be rebel side of me, wanted him desperately. He was like that decadent chocolate cake that you know you shouldn’t eat, but it keeps calling for you, baiting you, and you can’t resist just a bite, and as always, one bite is all it takes, and you’re hooked.

  I got out of the shower and wrapped myself tight in my towel. When I exited the bathroom, Drake was asleep. I stood there and studied him. He seemed so peaceful in his sleep, so less threatening. Watching people move out of his way when we were walking through town was always comical to me. It was obvious that he was used to it though, so I could only imagine how he was in the states.

  But to me, right now at this very moment, he seemed harmless.

  “Are you just going to stand there and stare at me?”

  I jumped slightly and smiled. He opened his eyes and looked over at me.

  I don’t know how he does it but all he has to do is look at me, and I swear I melt.

  I cleared my throat and moved to the chair furthest away from him. “Are you going to sleep the day away?”

  Drake watched me closely until I sat down and crossed my legs. He smirked and said, “Really? You’re going to sit all the way over there?”

  “Yes I am…”

  “Why? Afraid of what I might do?”

  I ran my hands through my braids and answered honestly, “Yes.”

  “Baby, you know I wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want me to…”

  I nodded. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

  Drake laughed and removed the sheet from his glorious body. I stared at him, eyes wide. It didn’t matter how many times I’d seen him naked, I still had to pay homage to his greatness.

  Drake walked over to me, and when he got close, he knelt in front of me. He moved my legs apart and positioned himself between them, bringing his hands to the folded part of my towel.

  He said to me, “Never be afraid of what you want, baby… especially not with me.” He opened my towel and the hunger suddenly took over his features.

  “Drake…” I said softly.

  “Yeah, baby?” he replied just as low as he moved and started featherlike kisses between my breasts.

  I took a few deep breaths. I was already feeling the effects of him being so close to me. The anticipation was evident through my body. I wanted him to touch me; the problem is I wanted it all the time.

  He slowly continued his assault down my stomach, and I instantly grabbed him by his ears with both hands and stopped his movement. “Wait… Can we get out of this room? I know where this is going, and I also know once you kiss me, we’ll be at it again for another hour…”

  He grunted, “At least…”

  “Yeah, so please can you save your assault on my senses until later? I want to go snorkeling.” My heart was pounding in my chest, and I knew I was drenched, waiting for some Drake loving, but I was serious. I knew what it meant to be ravished by Drake, and I needed to stop myself from getting attached. I needed to keep this whole thing in perspective, right? Or at least try anyway.

  Drake leaned into me and kissed me. He didn’t deepen it, and when he parted from me, he smiled. “No problem, baby. We can do whatever you want… But please be on notice; I will continue this assault on your senses, as you call it, tonight.” His finger went along my lips, then down my chin. He moved in to kiss me again, and I almost said forget snorkeling… Drake is just that good.

  Chapter 9

  Drake

  As the cool ocean breeze touched my face, I leaned farther back into the cushion of the lounge chair, sitting on the patio off of my room. The nicotine flowing through my system combined with my smoke filled lungs had brought me to a state of calm after the storm that was Georgia Sayers.

  Fuck, that woman was a piece of work. She was full of energy and life, and wouldn’t you know it; she could practically drink me under the table. We had spent the last four days getting very familiar with what Cabo had to offer.

  Since I’d managed to get her to snorkel, she was hooked, and we’d been going every morning bright and early ever since. We’d continued to take tour after tour; from learning about Los Cabos culture and history, to submarine tours to tequila tasting. We’d swam with the dolphins, took Kayaks out on the Sea of Cortez, and she even got me to whale watch with her.

  Besides the shopping and the sightseeing, being with her had been an adventure. I had talked more in four days than I had in years. The nights that we shared had been eventful all on their own. We had partied hard, going to multiple clubs and getting shit-faced. Then we’d go to her room or mine and have mindless drunk sex. It’d been a long time since I’d had drunk sex, but those last three nights had been uh… something else.

  I said this woman could drink, and I’m not lying. It took a lot to get her drunk, but once I did it, she let go completely. She was fun, exciting, sensual and fucking amazing. We danced all night and fucked each other’s brains out until the sun came up. We’d gotten intimately familiar with each other’s bodies so much that I could tell the moment when she was aroused just by looking at her.

  The reaction she had on me blew my mind, and I couldn’t get a hold of it. I couldn’t understand how I responded to her so well. The only thing I could think was, She’s changing me. Now I wouldn’t say she’d changed me completely. I still had my dark, twisted urges, but I didn’t sightsee, I didn’t swim with fucking dolphins and fuck if I whale watched. But just seeing the excitement in her eyes, the life in them, I couldn’t turn her down.

  I felt the phone that my cousin gave me vibrate on the table. I quickly reached for it hoping he finally had some news for me.

  “What?”

  My cousin chuckled, “Damn, am I interrupting your night with the glorious Georgia?”

  I sighed. I regretted telling Angel about Georgia the very moment her name left my lips that the other day.

  “I hope you’re telling me some good news or that you got the information on that piece of shit that tried to take Georgia.”

  “Well, yes, I do have some news, but I’m not sure you’ll think it’s good.”

  I sat up. “You found the son of a bitch shot in the fucking head with his brains splattered all over the place?”

  “Well, no. Actually I haven’t been able to find any action down there that you mentioned or the guy you described. The car was a rental and the name it was under came back with a bogus. Cabo is pretty clean, as far as crime goes. I don’t know, Cuz. Are you sure she just wasn’t fucked up? Or maybe she was taking something and didn’t want you to know about it?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m sure about that. Georgia isn’t the type. Besides, the woman can drink and hold her own. I told you the bartender that night was serving weak ass drinks, so I know for a fact she wasn’t fucked up. No, there has to be some reason why he was trying to take her.”

  “Well, if there is, I haven’t found one. Why don’t you find the bartender and ask him?”

  “Yeah, I’ve tried that. He hasn’t been to work since that night.”

  My cousin paused a beat, and then said, “Do you have a name?”

  “Manuel Agosto.”

  “All right. I’ll check it out to see if I can find out something about him based on your description.”

  “Yeah okay. Keep me posted then… I’ll talk to you later.”

  He cleared his throat. “Uh, don’t you want to hear the news I have?”

  I frowned. “I thought you already told me the news?”

  “No, I said the news I have to tell you is good news, but you might not think so. That shit wasn’t it.”

  “Well, stop pussying around and just tell me.”

  He chuckled again before he said, “You’re clear to come home.”

 
; “You shittin’ me?”

  “Nope. The lawyers got back to me, and the Feds have nothing. They claimed they were slipped the information, but none of the evidence they gathered matched to you. Also the people that you allegedly took out, I know for a fact you didn’t. The family had no beef with them, so you are good to come back.”

  I took a drag on my cigar and smiled. Finally, I get to go home and leave this… Oh shit…

  “Yeah, bittersweet, isn’t it?” Angel added as if reading my thoughts.

  I didn’t reply.

  “Pops says he needs you home ASAP though.”

  I nodded my head self-consciously. “Yeah alright. Get someone to book me a flight some time tomorrow and text me the info.”

  “Will do. See you then,” I heard Angel tell me before he hung up the phone.

  If my Uncle said he needed me home ASAP that only means my cousin Eddie is into some shit, and he needs me home like yesterday. I knew I was going to have to take the next thing smoking out of there if I could.

  Shit… I didn’t want to leave Georgia there by herself. Even though I’d been looking out for any backlash from the other night, it didn’t mean she was safe. I didn’t like having loose ends, especially since Angel didn’t get any information on the three goons from the truck.

  Georgia told me she wasn’t leaving for another two days, and I knew I couldn’t wait that long.

  Fuck.

  I heard my door open, but I didn’t turn around to see who came inside- I knew it was her.

  “Hey, I’ve been calling the room for the last ten minutes. Are you okay?”

  When she stepped out on the balcony, my eyes went to her, and I froze. She looked fucking amazing. Her braids were up and away from her face, giving the world full view of her beauty. She wore eye makeup that made her brown eyes come alive and gloss on a pair of beautiful full lips that made me want to devour them every chance I saw her. But the dress she wore...