Summer by the Lake

by Kay Gordon

  It was in that moment that I realized I was alone. I turned my head and removed the pillow so I could open my eyes, confirming that I was, indeed, alone. I sat up slowly, keeping the sheet pulled up over my naked body, but it was pointless because I was by myself. Drew’s clothes were gone and the only sign that he had been in the room with me was one of the condom wrappers that hadn’t made it into the garbage can.

  That knowledge made me want to cry and I had no idea why. I swallowed back my tears, though, and didn’t bother turning on any lights when I stood up to use the bathroom. I ignored my reflection in the mirror, not wanting to see how crappy I looked. Or maybe I just didn’t want to see the hurt on my face. Either way.

  My head was throbbing painfully and even just thinking about tequila made my stomach turn. I went to wash my hands and spotted an unopened bottle of water on the corner of the sink and a foil packet of pain reliever that had been placed next it. There wasn’t a note or anything else but I knew that Drew had left them.

  I took the pills and drank the whole bottle of water before I began to pull my clothes on. I found my phone and text Hannah to see if she was alive. She text me back ten minutes later to confirm she was still living and told me not to wait for her.

  I called camp for a ride and Kurt told me he’d be to the hotel in fifteen minutes. After I made sure my hair didn’t look too horrible, I walked out of the room and down the four flights of stairs to the lobby. Once I’d checked out of the hotel room, I went outside, cursed at the sun, and immediately turned back around to wait in the lobby.

  Unlocking my phone, I ignored all of my alerts and pressed Briana’s name. The line rang twice before she picked up, her voice too loud for my poor head.

  “Please tell me you’re calling with the sun to say that you’re coming home early.”

  I chuckled and sat in one of the reception chairs, closing my eyes as my head drooped back. “Come on. You have the whole apartment to yourself. That has to be nice.”

  “Nice?” Bri scoffed. “It’s lonely. Marco’s probably going to dump my ass because of how clingy I’ve become.”

  “He put a ring on that, Bri. I think he’s in it for the long haul.”

  My best friend’s throaty chuckle made me smile. “He’s stuck with me regardless. How’s camp? You sound hungover.”

  Leave it to my best friend to pick up on that over the phone. We’d been friends for almost two decades, since diapers, and we probably knew each other too well.

  “Camp’s good. I like being a counselor. And I am hungover. Tequila.”

  “Tequila is your nemesis. We both know you should stay away from our tangy friend. Did you at least have fun before you woke up wanting to die this morning?”

  I thought about Drew and the dancing we did, the jokes we shared, and the orgasms he gave me. My face felt flushed just thinking about it. “I did.”

  “Shaylee Jane Butler, you got laid last night. Who the hell are you sleeping with?”

  “Another counselor. It’s a long story and I don’t have time to tell you now.” The shuttle van pulled up outside the entrance to the hotel. “I’m heading back to camp and I’ll call you once I’m alone, okay?”

  “You better or I’ll fly to Maine and kick your ass. Love you.”

  I chuckled and moved to my feet. “Love you, too.”

  After ending the call, I ran outside and into the van as fast as possible. Kurt chuckled from the driver’s seat as I covered my eyes with my hands.

  “Fun night?”

  “I think I’m dying,” I groaned miserably. For a moment, I almost asked if he’d picked up Drew earlier but I held off.

  He laughed again and drove us back to camp. When we got there, he dropped me off at the staff bunk so I could use one of the vacant rooms that were reserved for counselors who had the day off but didn’t want to go into town.

  I kicked off my shoes, laid in bed, and called Briana back. I gave her the rundown of everything that had happened since I’d arrived, leading up until I’d woken up alone that morning. She was quiet when I finished my story.

  “I don’t understand. He’s obviously into you, Shay. It’s like the playground mentality. He’s being a dick because he likes you. Maybe he was scared you’d regret it when you woke up?”

  “Maybe.” I chewed on my lip and played with my necklace for a second before I spoke again. “I’m going to ignore him. If he wants to explain, he’s going to have to initiate it.”

  “Attagirl. You’re a prize. Make him come to you.”

  After a few more minutes of conversation, I told my friend I loved her and that I’d call on my next day off. The second the call was disconnected, I cuddled up with the pillow and went back to sleep. I didn’t come back to life until later that afternoon.

  When I woke up, it was almost dinner time so I put my shoes on and headed downstairs. I sat with the staff for dinner and felt immensely better after I had some food in my stomach. Hannah joined me at some point, looking exhausted, too. I waited until we’d left the staff bunks to walk back to our cabin before turning to smile at my friend.

  “Have a good night?”

  Hannah grinned and nodded her head immediately. “I really did. How was yours?”

  “It was fine,” I said with a shrug. “I had fun dancing. Thanks for making me go out. I’m not interested in drinking again for a while, though.”

  “Did you and Drew…?” She trailed off but I knew what she was asking.

  I looked out to the lake for a moment before replying. “We shared the room and he was gone when I woke up.” I didn’t elaborate on what we did in the room and Hannah didn’t push me for details.

  Our cabin was empty when we got there since everyone was in the dining hall eating dinner and Hannah and I took advantage so we could change our clothes. I slipped my feet into my sneakers and tied my hair back into a ponytail before looking at her with a smile.

  “Ready?”

  Hannah’s brows rose as she reached a finger out to graze my neck. “Is that a hickey?”

  “What?” I whirled around and went to the mirror above the dresser, letting out a gasp when I noticed the dark purple bruise on my skin. I hadn’t even looked at my reflection since the night before and I wondered how many people had spotted that mark before I had.

  I tugged the neckline of my shirt down and found several more, some lighter than others, all over my chest and breasts. The purplish marks were accompanied by light-red beard burn, too. I shook my head slowly. “Shit.”

  “Just shared the room, huh?” Hannah laughed and I just gave her a frantic look.

  “They’re everywhere. What was he thinking? You can only see a couple now but what happens tomorrow when I’m in my bathing suit?” I raked my hands down my face angrily. “That asshole.”

  “Glad to see your relationship with him hasn’t changed.” Hannah moved towards me with some foundation but the blemishes wouldn’t disappear. “Sorry, babe. They aren’t going anywhere but we have to go. The bonfire is going to start soon.”

  I reluctantly followed Hannah out of the cabin and we headed to the dining hall. Everyone was just finishing when we walked in. Our girls called out to us happily and Joanne smiled as she stood from her seat.

  “Did you guys have a good night off?”

  I nodded and smiled at her as I accepted a hug from two of the campers. “We did. Thanks for watching our girls. Were they good?”

  “The best,” Tammi replied, moving to her feet as well. “I guess we should go relieve the Cabin Sixteen next. We’ll see you at the bonfire.”

  I thanked them both again before grabbing a handful of strawberries from the table.

  “Okay, guys. Clean up your plates and let’s head on down.”

  Hannah took one of the strawberries from me and we watched as our girls cleaned up their messes before gathering around us. We walked to the fire pit, chatting as they told us what they’d done for the day.

  Di
fferent cabins filtered into the area and we set our girls free to sit with whoever they wanted to. Hannah and I stayed back with the other counselors as we kept an eye on everyone. The fire wasn’t lit yet and a bit of sunlight still illuminated the area.

  Jordan walked up with a huge smile on his face and grasped Hannah’s hand in his as he took the spot on her other side. I let my eyes wander around the area, not really focusing on any one thing. After a few moments, my gaze collided with Drew’s from where he’d appeared from the direction of the boy’s cabins. He didn’t move as we stared at each other, both of our faces passive and giving nothing away. The spell was only broken when Christy threw herself on his back and he turned to look at her. I tore my eyes away from them when she crashed her lips to his.

  I’d never felt ashamed of any of my sexual encounters in the past but an ill feeling took residence in my stomach. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been aware of Drew and Christy’s relationship when I’d slept with him, so what did that say about me? Even though he denied that they were together, it was obvious that there was something there. So, for the first time, I felt shame coil for how far I’d lowered myself. Shame and humiliation.

  Instead of focusing on my feelings, I did whatever I could to keep myself busy. I broke up a few arguments between kids as the fire was lit and continued patrolling the area when Howard got up to smile at everyone.

  “Welcome to the end of week two, campers! It’s been a great and quick couple of weeks and we’ve really loved getting to know each of you. Just a few quick reminders and we can get to roasting marshmallows and singing songs!”

  Howard continued talking as the counselors began to set up the tables with the roasting supplies. I’d just opened a bag of marshmallows to dump in a bowl when I heard a gasp to my right.

  “Look at your neck, Shaylee. Someone obviously had a good night off.”

  I turned my head quickly to see Christy standing there with a huge grin stretched across her face as she gazed at my neck.

  “So,” she said in the loudest whisper possible. “Was it a local? Did you hook up with a townie or someone just passing through?”

  I frowned at her for a moment before turning around, not bothering to give her any more attention than she’d already received. I started to walk away and collided with Drew, who put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from falling.

  The look on his face said that he’d obviously heard what his make-out buddy had said and I watched as his eyes looked down at my visible skin. They widened slightly before he glanced back up to my face. I just glared before stepping out of his grip and maneuvering around him so I could get more supplies.

  I managed to avoid Drew and Christy for the rest of the evening as I helped kids construct s’mores, cleaned up sticky messes, and joined in on the songs. After an hour around the campfire, Howard and May both stood and shooed everyone to bed. Hannah and I gathered our cabin and counted to make sure we had all ten girls.

  “Start showering, please,” Hannah said as we walked inside our cabin. “Follow tonight’s shower schedule posted. That means Nicole, Alexandra, and Maria go first and everyone else start getting teeth brushed and ready for bed.”

  We all fluttered around and made sure the cabin would be ready for end of the week inspections the next day. The girls also bagged any laundry they wanted washed for the week and we set it off to the side so it was ready for pick up in the morning. I called lights out an hour later when showers were done and Hannah and I went to our room.

  As we got ready for bed, Hannah gushed over Jordan. She told me all about their night and how he’d woken her up to take her to breakfast that morning. The two had also opted to walk back to camp, stopping to detour in the wooded area one or twice.

  I reacted as a good friend should and was grateful when we turned off the lights so I could close my eyes. I wanted to go for a run but my body wasn’t a fan of that idea. So, instead of running, I planned to sleep off the rest of my hangover and forget the past twenty-four hours. Hannah fell asleep and I laid in the dark as I stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling.

  I felt so guilty of the fact that I’d slept with Drew. I wanted to blame it on the alcohol but I’d been perfectly aware of what I was doing. I’d slept with Drew because I had wanted to. The alcohol had just given me the courage.

  Chapter Ten

  I was awake before Hannah on Sunday morning and I waited until half of the girls were up and ready for breakfast before shaking her gently. She groaned and got out of bed to wait for the rest of the girls to stir as I took the first few to the dining hall.

  We all sat at our table with our dishes piled high of delicious food and a mug of hot coffee for me. I ate quietly, letting the girls do all the talking for me, and Hannah showed up with everyone else after about ten minutes.

  “Han.” I spoke quietly as I leaned in towards her.

  “Yeah?”

  I gestured towards the door. “I’m going to run to the health center and grab some ibuprofen really quick. Do you mind?”

  “No,” she replied with a shake of her head. “Of course not. We’ll be here.”

  I thanked her before standing and dropping my dirty dishes off at the bin. I made it out of the dining hall and was instantly grateful to be away from the noise. I walked through the grass slowly, not in a hurry to head back, and was passing by staff lounge when someone gripped my upper arm from behind me.

  “Shaylee.”

  I twisted around, pulling my grip from Drew’s as I did. He held his hands up in surrender before stuffing them into the pockets of his shorts.

  “Can we talk for a second?”

  My head was hurting and I kind of wanted to punch him in the face. It was a miracle that I restrained myself.

  “I guess.” I rubbed my temple in frustration. “What’s up?”

  Drew gestured to the staff lounge with his head and I nodded as I followed him up the three stairs to go inside. It was empty, giving us complete privacy, and I crossed my arms over my chest, giving him an expectant look.

  “The other night,” he began slowly, lifting his cap and running a hand through his brown hair. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “I’m fine,” I said, my tone curt and full of irritation. “Anything else?”

  He released a long sigh. “You don’t sound fine. You sound pissed. Fuck, I knew this would happen.”

  I narrowed my eyes and looked around before tugging my shirt down to reveal my black bra. About fifteen purple blemishes still stood out clearly against my pale skin and I pressed my lips together to hold in my snotty retorts.

  “I didn’t even realize I was...” Drew trailed off but I could see the small smile tugging on the corners of his lips. Of course. The asshole was proud of himself.

  “This isn’t even it, either.” I gestured to my breasts. “You should see the ones under my bra.”

  Drew’s eyes were more green in the moment but they darkened and he took a step towards me. “Yeah? Are you offering?”

  “You’re so full of yourself.” I rolled my eyes and let go of my shirt. “Look, you didn’t take advantage of me. I had been drinking but I knew what I was doing and not only consented to our activities but was a very willing participant. If you’re trying to see if I’m going to be expecting hearts and chocolates now, I’m not. If you’re trying to figure out if I’m going to tell Christy, I’m not.”

  “I don’t give a shit what you tell Christy,” Drew said, taking two more steps forward, causing me to take two of my own back. “Christy has no claim to me. And if you want hearts and chocolates, Shay, I’ll get you some.”

  Another step forward, another step back.

  “Are you really such an arrogant dick that you’re okay letting her think you’re more while you sleep with other women?” I shook my head and looked at him in disbelief. “That you’ll sleep with those other women and not even give them the benefit of knowing so they can protect thems
elves?”

  Drew’s next step caused me to back into the wall. He braced an arm against the panel next to my head as he looked at me. “Christy has nothing to protect because I’m not sleeping with her. Christy assumes we’re more but that’s because she knows if she asks, I’ll tell her we’re not. I know what you think of me, Shay, but you should at least get your facts straight.”

  And with that, he kissed me. For some stupid reason, I kissed him back. I wrapped my arms around his torso and enjoyed the taste of maple syrup on his tongue and the feeling of his fingers in my hair. We kissed frantically, as if there wasn’t any time left in the world so we had to get it all in right then, and I didn’t have a cognitive thought in my head.

  The sound of feet on the stairs to the staff lounge brought me back to reality and I shoved Drew off of me before dashing to the back door. I was just disappearing through it when I heard a male greet Drew. I didn’t stop, though, and hurried over to the health center as quickly as I could.

  Anna was sitting behind her desk when I got there and she had no problem giving me ibuprofen once I’d mentioned that I’d had tequila on my day off. I took it in front of her, proving that it was swallowed, before thanking her and power walking back to the dining hall.

  When I arrived, everyone was just disbursing and I found my girls easily so I could fall in step next to Hannah.

  “Did everyone vote on what to do this morning?” I asked her casually, as if I hadn’t just been making out with Drew in the lounge. She nodded and gestured in front of us.

  “The lake, of course.”

  I sighed and shook my head. “I love the lake but spending every ounce of our free time there is getting old.”

  “Agreed. I told them they could have the morning but then it was our turn to pick.”

  “Good call.” I held my hand up and she immediately high-fived it as we walked inside our cabin. The girls all changed into their bathing suits while Hannah and I did the same in our room. After I’d pulled my swim top on, I turned with my arms outstretched to show her.