And So She Waited

by Shakuita Johnson

  Raven still held out hope that he would come around, but it wasn't looking good. Her father also looked at her with disappointment and disapproval. She didn't know how to process everything that was happening. She was too afraid to cut herself in the event that someone might see when she went in for an exam. But the urge was there. She wanted to, needed to. The craving to do so was so strong that Raven didn't know how she could stand it. She didn't even know if she really wanted the baby or if she was just having it in case it helped her keep Remy. She couldn't help but think that once the baby was born and he could see it with his own eyes, everything would change. That was the only thing keeping her sane right now. When all she wanted to do was fall apart.

  Raven took out her phone to text Matt. She couldn't believe he'd almost killed Remy. She was also surprised his father had managed to get him off with nothing but community service. His father was a force to be dealt with. The trail had been effortlessly short. Most of the townsfolk thought he'd paid off everyone to keep Matt from serving any real time. He'd also managed to keep him from being kicked out of school, despite Remy’s persistent protests. The Mastersons had been a part of the town for centuries and their name held a lot of clout. Much more than the Peters name. There was no way Matthew Masterson, Sr., was going to let his only son go to jail. He would have gotten him out of the country first.

  Matty, this silent treatment has gone on long enough. Message me back or I'll come to your house. I'm not joking either.

  Why did he insist on being so damn stubborn? He hadn't spoken to her in two months. It wasn't like him. She always knew what he was feeling. He'd been speechless when she told him she was pregnant. It was like part of him had died that day. She couldn't get the look in his eyes out of her head as he tried to strangle the life out of Remy. It was like nothing she'd ever seen in her life. She hadn't even recognized him. It was almost as if he'd been possessed. She'd been afraid for both of them: Matt, for almost throwing his life away, and Remy because he had nearly died, had security not been able to get Matt off him in time.

  Ding. Ding.

  Leave me alone, Raven. Stop texting me and don't you dare come over. I don't want to look at your face.

  Stop being so damned dramatic, Matty! I swear you're worse than some females.

  FUCK YOU RAVEN!

  Luv you too, asshole…

  -_-

  WTF does that even mean, Matt?

  It means go away…

  Whatever. I'm coming over later.

  NO!

  Raven didn't even bother texting back. She was going whether he liked it or not. She'd dealt with his temper tantrums before. They'd been friends since they were five. He was sadly mistaken if he thought she would just let this shit go. They have things to discuss. Things that they should have discussed two months ago. She would corner Remy later as well. He was going to talk to her. They were linked forever now by this baby. He would have no choice but to marry her at this point. Their parents would demand it. Even now, their mothers were planning the wedding. He just didn't know it yet. Besides, marrying her would elevate his family's standing tremendously and his parents would sacrifice him for their rise in social status.

  Raven almost felt bad, but in reality, everything she'd always wanted was within her grasp. She jumped into some warm clothes and went out to her car to head over to Matt's.

  "Going somewhere, dear?" her mother asked.

  "Just going over to Matt's for a bit."

  "Do you think that's a good idea? Isn’t he… dangerous? He did almost kill Remy."

  "Mom, we've known Matt's family since I was five. What do you honestly think he's going to do to me?"

  "If you say so dear, but do be careful. That boy's got a mean streak in him and it's only gotten worse since he knows he can't have you."

  "He'll get over it eventually. I'll just have to find him someone else to love more than me."

  "Okay, dear. Don't stay out to late."

  "I won't!"

  "Matt! Open the door! I know you're in there. Do I have to kick your door down like you did mine?" Raven huffed.

  It was fucking cold! Matt needed to open the door and he needed to do it now. She wasn't in the mood to be out here all day. She wanted to sit down with her feet up somewhere.

  "Go away, Raven. I don't want to see your face."

  "I don't care what you want. Let me in, dammit! I know where the spare keys are."

  Matt's angry scowl greeted her as he forcefully yanked the door open. He was in nothing but a pair of loose fitting sweats and nothing else. If she hadn't known better she would have thought he'd just gotten out of bed.

  "Why aren't you dressed?" Raven asked.

  "Why are you here?" Matt retorted.

  "I asked you first."

  "You are so childish. Come in, it's cold as balls outside."

  Raven followed Matt into the deliciously warm house. It smelled of chamomile and baby powder. She loved coming to Matt's house. She didn't realize it until just this moment. It was always so calm and inviting. She removed her scarf, coat, gloves, and hat and hung them in the closet by the door.

  "Make yourself at home, why don't you," Matt mumbled.

  Raven narrowed her eyes at the back of his head. He was really starting to piss her off. Her hormones were raging and the crazy bitch was about to rear her ugly head. She was tired of his attitude and it was time she set him straight once and for all. She stomped behind him towards his room and slammed the door shut. He'd thrown himself on his bed and pulled the covers back over himself.

  "Oh no you don't. You are going to talk to me," Raven said, pulling the comforter off him.

  "Will you just leave me alone?" Matt growled.

  "Fine. You don't want to talk, then listen. You've known me since we were five years old and not once did you say anything about your so-called feelings. You wait until I have someone else take an interest in me before you decide that suddenly we're meant to be together, then you have the nerve to get mad at me because your grand plan isn't going the way you thought it would go? That's not fair, Matt! If you had feelings for me you should have said something before I met Remy, not after."

  "Are you serious? Everything was fine until you met that asshole. Now look at you! Barely 20 and pregnant with a baby he doesn’t even want you to have. What, do you think he's going to marry you now? Even if his parents tell him to because they want the prestige of being linked to the Sinclairs, he still won't do it. He doesn't love you, Raven. Not like I do. Sorry, did."

  Raven couldn't believe how cold he was being. It had been gradually getting worse since the day she went on her first date with Remy. Matt had been pulling away from her since then. It hurt; it fucking hurt a lot.

  "So that's it then? Almost 15 years of friendship just done and over with. All because I can't love you the way you want me to. What happened to friends to the end, Matty? Was that a lie? Friendship isn't about convenience and neither is love."

  "I'm tired, Raven. I just want to go to sleep. My ballet career is over and I'm not going back to school because there isn't any point. My father pulled every string he had to get me into some bullshit law school that I don't want to go to and you're still living in a delusion where you live happily ever after with Remy. I can't do this anymore. I can't love someone who doesn't love me back. I can't watch you convince yourself that the baby you carry is going to somehow magically change the way Remy feels about you. I just can't do it so stop asking me to."

  Raven no longer recognized this person in front of her. Who was he and what happened to her best friend? The lump in her throat was huge and she could barely swallow around it.

  "Who are you and what have you done with the little boy I met in ballet class all those years ago?"

  Chapter 19

  He couldn’t fucking believe it, community fucking service? That’s all that asshole Matt got for nearly killing him? Remy didn't care who his father was and if he had his way, Matthew Masterson would be some dick’s boyfri
end right now in the state penitentiary. He should have been locked up for attempted murder. There were witnesses, several of them in fact. This shit couldn't stand. All because his parents wanted to climb the social ladder, they were never satisfied with what they had. They always wanted more and it didn't matter who they had to stomp on to get it; even their own son. Now they’re trying to marry him off to Raven! And since the Sinclairs were such good friends with the Mastersons agreeing to only community service for their psychotic asshole of a son was no big deal at all.

  "This isn't over by a fucking long shot," Remy said to himself.

  Someone was going to pay for Matt's sins. He no longer cared who it was that did the penance, as long as it was done. And there was no way in hell he was marrying anyone or being a father to a baby he didn't want. He couldn't believe Raven didn't do as he'd told her. Did she think this was a game? He had spent two weeks in the hospital because of his injuries; a concussion, broken ribs, fractured cheek, and a shit ton of bumps and bruises. Not to mention his severely damaged larynx. His voice would never be the same. He might even have to change his major and switch schools completely. He could always do dance but that wasn't the point. He'd almost died at the hands of that unstable prick and all he got was community fucking service and a fine! They didn't even expel him from school. It was such bullshit.

  Remy couldn't even stand to go to the pool either. Some kind of PTSD episodes of seeing his life flash before his eyes. The whole thing had happened so quickly. One minute he was joking around with Casey and Stacey and the next he was being lifted by his neck and slammed onto the tile floor. He couldn't believe Matt had it in him and he owed him an ass whooping the first chance he got. He was not going to let this shit go, no matter how many times his parents said he should. He still couldn't believe they'd sold him out to have a higher social standing. It wasn't like they were poor. They both came from old money and had their own Trust Funds, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough.

  They wanted to run in the higher circles and none were higher than the Mastersons and Sinclairs. Remy hated both of them. Raven for getting pregnant and Matt because he was an asshole. If he could go back he would have never spoken to her that day they met. He would have just kept on walking. At this point if it wouldn't mess up his life so much he would move. Just pack up his shit and go somewhere no one knew his name. Leave everything and everyone behind.

  Ring. Ring. Ring.

  "Shit, what do they want now?" Remy said out loud.

  "I'm busy, Mom, I'll have to call you back."

  "Come to the house, dear. Now."

  She hung up the phone. What the entire fuck? He didn't want to go but if he didn't they would come to his place and he didn't want that either. Remy got up and threw on some clothes and made his way to his parents’ house. He couldn't even imagine the ridiculousness that was in store for him. That plan of moving to another state was looking better and better every damn day.

  "Why am I here and what are the Sinclairs and Mastersons doing here?" Remy shouted in greeting.

  He was leaving so there was no point in sitting down and getting comfortable. He didn't want to hear anything these people had to say. They could all burn in hell for all he cared.

  "Remy, don't be rude. Sit down. We all need to have a little talk about the future," his mother said.

  "Yes, Remy. Where are your manners?" his father added.

  "They were beat out of me by Matthew Masterson. So again, I ask, why are they here?"

  "Remy! I will not have you embarrassing your father and me. Apologize this instant."

  Apologize? Apologize! Was she fucking high? If anyone should be apologizing it was them for their fucked up kids. He was officially over this bullshit.

  "You know what I'm done with the both of you. I was almost killed two months ago and I'm the one who should be apologizing? Are you insane?” Remy shouted. “Does money and social class mean so much to the two of you that you would turn a blind eye to the attempted murder of your only fucking son! I'm appalled at the both of you. No wonder I'm so fucked up. Look at the role models I had growing up. And if you think I'm going to marry that pitiful, waste of space of a girl, then you're sadly mistaken."

  "Remy Robert Peters! How dare you? Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair and Mr. and Mrs. Masterson, I would like to apologize for my son's behavior. I don't know what's gotten into him. He would be delighted to be the husband of Raven and help her raise their child. This is a new beginning for our families and we are so honored to be associated with you all," Mrs. Peters said.

  "Don't you fucking apologize for me! I'm not marrying any-fucking-body, especially not Raven. She's a ticking time bomb, set to explode at any given moment. She needs help not a fucking husband, and she definitely doesn’t need a damn baby. She should have taken care of it when I told her to. Instead she's ruined both our lives and almost got me killed! I'm done with this sham of a conversation."

  "Don't you move one inch, boy," Mr. Peters barked. "You will behave like a civilized human being or you'll know what it's like to go without. Let's see how long you last. No apartment, no car, and no fucking money to feed and clothe yourself. You want to sleep in cardboard boxes on the side of the fucking road? Keep being an ungrateful little shit and I'll arrange your new life for you straight away."

  "It's all right, Mr. Peters,” Mr. Masterson said. “Remy has a right to be angry. Matthew was out of line. I'll be sure to have him apologize for his unacceptable behavior. He made a bad judgment call. He wasn't in his right frame of mind. Something like that will never happen again, I assure you."

  Remy couldn't believe this. He was in a twilight zone of some kind. That was the only logical explanation. He was being threatened with being disowned. They would take away everything so they could play golf at a bigger country club. He would have liked to tell his parents to stuff it and walk out but he had nothing stashed away. Everything he owned was in his parents’ name and the Trust Fund from his grandparents couldn't be touched until he either got married or turned 30. Whichever came first. So the only thing he could do was grit his teeth and bear this humiliation and betrayal. He sat in the only empty seat at the table and didn't utter a word of protest. But inside he was screaming bloody fucking murder. He didn't give a fuck what they said. He wasn't marrying Raven. He'd rather live on the street corners and eat out of paper plates. He zoned out as they discussed wedding gowns, tablecloths, and other nonsense that he had no intention of being a part of. This was his life and it wouldn't be dictated by anyone.

  "I'm thinking a small intimate ceremony—mostly family and a few friends. This will be a glorious day for all our families. A strong bond that will mutually benefit us all," Mrs. Peters said.

  "I'm thinking of having the ceremony after the baby is born. I'm sure Raven will want to look her best on her wedding day and not bloated and fat. She's going to be thrilled and I assure you that Matthew will be on his best behavior as her best friend," Mrs. Sinclair said.

  "This is going to be the most talked about wedding of the year. Everyone who's anyone will want to attend. Remy, will Casey be attending with her parents?" Mrs. Masterson asked.

  Remy grinded his teeth and bit his tongue to stop the words he wanted to say from coming out of his mouth. There wasn't going to be a fucking wedding to attend. He would let them waste their precious money on a wedding that wasn't going to happen. It would be their embarrassment, not his. He would make sure that Raven knew he had no intention of putting any kinds of rings on her fingers. He was also not going to play Daddy to her kid. She wanted it and she could have it, all by herself. He wasn't going to play these little kids games with any of them. Whatever day they decided to throw this extravagant wedding he would make sure he was thoroughly drunk and incapable of speech. He'd play along for now but he was not being sold to the highest bidder like some common prostitute on the street corner, begging for spare change.

  "I trust that you all have the details well in hand and have no use for me,” Remy said
calmly. “I'm just going to go home and enjoy my last few months as a bachelor and tell Casey the good news."

  With that, Remy stood up and took his leave. It took everything he had not to run screaming for his apartment. He knew he shouldn't have answered the damn phone. Nothing good ever came from answering his damn phone. That was the last time he answered his phone without looking to see who it was first. He was tired of getting blindsided by bullshit and being treated like a second-class citizen. He just needed to wait a few months. Raven had five more months of pregnancy before they would even have a date for a wedding and he was given a ridiculous amount of money every month from his parents. It was time he started saving that money instead of blowing it on who the hell even knew what. He was going to need it for when he didn't show up to say his vows on the wedding date. It would be enough to hopefully support him until his Trust Fund kicked in or he could convince his grandparents to open it early. He was not being tied down with a wife and kid before his twenty-first birthday.

  Chapter 20

  "Who are you and what have you done with the little boy I met in ballet class all those years ago?"

  And that was the fucking problem, thought Matt. He wasn't a little boy and he hadn't been for a while now. Raven still saw him as a child and didn't that just sting. He was a damn adult who knew what he wanted. He'd known since they were 14 that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Raven. He thought he had time to let everything happen slowly and naturally but it ended up backfiring on him. He didn't know what to do or say anymore. It still hurt like hell to look at her. Especially since her baby bump was starting to show. That should be his child she carried. He should be the one she loved.