As realization dawned on her, Karla’s eyes widened. “I hadn’t even noticed, what with everything that’s happened in the last few weeks.”
Fuck. Sounded like a distinct possibility he would soon become a father—only to a tiny baby, not a grown man like the father he’d become for Damián after the war.
"How many periods have you missed?"
"Just one."
She sure did have the symptoms awfully early, but he'd still lay odds that's what was going on. How did Karla feel about having his baby? Hell, Adam would be seventy by the time the kid went to college. She may have sole responsibility for the child for many years without him. How could he have been so fucking irresponsible as to put her into a life-altering situation like this?
He reached out and cupped her cheek.
“I’m sorry, Karla.”
* * *
Tears stung the backs of her eyes. Well, at least now she understood the frequent waterworks. Haywire hormones. “Don’t say another word, Adam. Just take me home.”
Obviously, he regretted they’d made a baby together—and Karla didn’t need a pregnancy test to know that’s what was happening to her body. She'd never missed a period, not even with the stress of Ian’s funeral and those subsequent grief-stricken months.
She remembered how she’d felt after Adam had taken her virginity, hoping they’d made a baby, but just hadn’t given it another thought. For him to express regret now was too much to bear. She wanted to get back to the house and just lock herself away in her room to have a good cry. Oh, God, she was going to have a baby.
Adam’s baby. Her hand pressed against her abdomen. She was growing his baby inside her body. A tear splashed onto her wool coat and soaked in. And he didn’t want it.
“I love you, Karla.”
She shook her head. The words she’d wanted to hear forever didn’t mean anything now. He was just saying them out of his sense of duty; what he thought he was supposed to say to the future mother of his child, even his unwanted and unplanned child.
“Take me home, Adam, before I get out and walk.”
He sighed. How much more could she be expected to take from this man? Adam reached across her and she braced herself for his touch, but he just took the seatbelt and pulled it across her, buckling her in like a child.
Adam closed her door, walked around the back of the car, and took his seat behind the wheel. He looked over at her, huffed, and started the engine. What did he have to be angry about? They drove a few minutes until he pulled into a strip mall and parked near the drug store.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
He closed the door and locked her in, then walked into the store. Within minutes, he’d returned to the car with a small package in his hand. She resisted the urge to peek inside. None of her business. He placed it on the floor at her feet.
Thank God her parents were working today. She needed time to regroup before she could face them. What were they going to say about her getting pregnant and not being married—or attached even—to the father? She’d never wanted to disappoint them for anything.
He double parked in front of her house, but didn’t cut the engine. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Get your things packed, then pack mine. We’re leaving when I get back.”
“Adam, I’m not…”
“Don’t make me punish you, Karla. Just do as I said.”
Ka-thunk.
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
“Isn’t this called kidnapping?”
Grrrrr. Her heart pounded against her chest. Had he just growled at her, like some kind of animal? She nearly grinned, but fought the urge.
“I have to say good-bye to my parents.”
“Leave them a note or call them from the road. You’ll see them again soon enough.”
He wasn’t making any sense. Maybe he was in shock, just like she was. “But—”
Adam handed her the bag from the drug store. “Here. I want to see the results when I get back.”
She saw the familiar initials for the popular home-pregnancy test when she looked inside the bag. Was her being pregnant contingent on him wanting her? What if she wasn’t? What if she faked it and told him she wasn’t?
His fingers clamped around her chin and drew her in his direction. “Don’t. Even. Think it.”
Ka-thunk.
Well, it wasn’t like she’d lied to him. She was just playing the “What If” game. Still, she wished she could go back to his thinking she was really sick or something. He’d taken such good care of her then. Now he just bossed her around as if he were her…Master or something.
Time she got one thing straight.
“Adam, I’m never going to be your slave again, except maybe in the Arabian Nights room. That role might have worked for Joni, but I’m not Joni.” Her throat and chest constricted. She’d said the words she’d been dreading since she’d left Denver Sunday. Maybe now he’d realize she wasn’t the right woman for him, baby or not. “I won’t keep you from your baby, though. I want him or her to know you.”
You’ll make such a great father.
“You’re damned right about that.” The ferocity of his tone caused her to look over at him and into his piercing green eyes. She didn’t want to do battle with this man over what he thought was his. He’d crush any opponent without batting an eye. “Now, hurry up. I want to get on the road as early as possible. We have a long drive ahead of us.”
Karla reached for the door handle, opened her mouth to argue, then shut it again. No way was she leaving Chicago today, especially not now. She really needed to talk with her mom. But there was no point in arguing with him out here. She opened the door, got out, and walked up the steps. As she let herself inside the house, she thought how flimsy the front door would be if he decided to break it down.
Oh, who was she kidding? He wasn’t going to have to break anything down. She wanted to go with him, even under these circumstances. Maybe he’d come to admit he loved her someday, as well as the baby.
No! Karla paused in front of the stairs with one foot on the first step. She’d tried to settle for less than Adam’s love before. She wouldn’t go there again. If he didn’t love her, she wanted nothing more to do with him.
Then why did she climb the stairs, go to her room, pull out her suitcase, and begin packing? When finished, she went to Ian’s room and packed Adam’s duffel bag. He’d been living out of it mostly, so there wasn’t a lot to pack.
Last, she returned to her room, picked up the pregnancy kit, and headed to the bathroom. She was looking down over the stick, waiting for the results, when she felt Adam’s body heat behind her. She jumped and nearly dropped the stick in the toilet. Her hand shook so badly, he placed his hand over hers to steady it and curled his body against hers. Tears pricked her eyes as his other hand came to rest on her lower abdomen.
“Mine.”
At that moment, the test strip revealed what they’d both already known. A sob tore from her chest, even though she’d fully expected that result. A baby. She and Adam were going to have a baby. No, she was going to have Adam’s baby. She didn’t have Adam. He dropped the stick into the wastebasket and wrapped his arms around her midriff, holding her against him as she cried.
“I have you, kitten.”
“But I don’t have you, do I?” she whispered. Adam grew tense. She remembered the last time she’d asked and wished she hadn’t spoken those needy, pathetic words again.
“I want this baby, kitten.”
She waited, but no further declaration was forthcoming. “You want the baby.”
“You’re fucking right I do.”
“But what about me?” She shook her head and another sob wrenched from deep within.
“I’ve wanted this baby’s mama a lot longer than I even knew about the baby. You’re both mine."
What was he saying? Her head hurt too much to process so much information. She wriggled free and turned around to look up at him, but his facial features swam bef
ore her eyes. His hands trembled as he cupped her cheeks and bent down to brush his lips over hers, sending a delicious tingling throughout her body.
“I love you, kitten. Forever.”
He’d finally said the words she’s been waiting to hear her whole adult life. Standing here in her childhood home, in the bathroom. And she couldn’t think of anything more perfect. Her arms reached up and wrapped around his neck, holding him closer before she’d even realized what she was doing. His tongue teased at her lips, rather than roughly invading her mouth as he normally did, and he pressed lightly with his tongue and she opened up, welcoming him.
He held her as if he were afraid she’d break. Karla pressed him against the wall and fumbled with the buttons on the fly of his jeans. She’s missed him so much. She needed him. Right here. Right now.
He stilled her hands. “No. Not here. Not now.” She groaned and he chuckled. “Hang on, baby tiger, but you’re going to make an honest man of me before I touch you again.”
Karla pulled away and met his gaze. “What?”
He knelt to one knee and took her left hand in his. “I’m not going to risk having anything else happen before I say these words. Karla Paxton, will you marry me?”
The room began to swim and she was afraid she was going to faint, but realized it was only swimming because she had more tears in her eyes. From the thousands of scenarios she’d fantasized about of having Adam propose to her that had flitted through her mind since she was sixteen, never in a million years would she have scripted it like this.
She just needed to make sure of one more thing. “Adam, I have to know. Would you love me, even if I wasn’t pregnant?”
He stood and his big hands gripped her shoulders to the point of pain. “Kitten, I know it’s taken me a while to figure things out, but I came to Chicago to bring you home—to our home. Things just haven’t gone quite the way I’d planned. It’s taken me a lot longer to realize that I’ve been falling in love with you inch by inch since I saw you standing on the stage at the club auditioning. But haven’t I been showing how much I love you for almost two months now? Do you really have to ask?”
True enough. Only now he’d finally opened his eyes and admitted it. “You’ve been showing me how much you love me since I was sixteen.”
The sheepish grin on his face won her heart even more. “Hold on, kitten. I want to be perfectly clear that I didn’t see you as anything more than a pesky runaway and a kid back then. I’m not a perv. You just needed someone to rescue you.”
“Yes, Sir. I know—and it drove me insane. I so wanted you to notice me as a woman.” She narrowed her eyes. “You don’t still see me as a kid, do you?”
He gently cupped her breast. “Fucking right, I don’t.”
Her breath hitched as his thumb brushed lightly over her sensitive nipple. Squeeze it, Adam. But he didn’t get rough or show any indication this would go anywhere sexual, even if they did have the house to themselves. He really intended to make her wait? For how long? Damn him.
She reached up to stroke his whiskered cheek. “Maybe it wasn’t romantic love, but I’ve felt your love, all the same, since I was sixteen. You protected me from harm. You took care of my needs. You even let me down gently when I declared my love for you on our front porch and scared the shit out of you.”
“That’s putting it mildly.”
“Don’t interrupt.”
He lowered his head and cast a glare at her that sent her stomach tilting and whirling again, but she continued. “You wrote to me faithfully for more than eight years, always expressing your concern for my welfare, your interest in my life, your hopes for my future.”
“Karla, just like I said in the airport all those years ago, you were the one who rescued me. You became a lifeline for me when life had become so empty. But I still was in guardian mode with you then. You need a caretaker more than anyone I’ve ever known, hon.” She glared at him and he smiled, but didn’t say more.
“Then, when I came to you in July all broken and so alone,” her voice cracked as she remembered how low she’d been less than five months ago, “you took me in, watched over me as I slept, chased away my demons, and introduced me to grown-up love. You encouraged me to fulfill my dreams. You showed me things about myself I never would have known without you. You let me love you, Adam. And you most definitely loved me back.”
“I started falling in love ever since I came out of my nice, safe little office to find this bewitching siren auditioning at my club. I’m not sure it qualifies as romantic love at that point, though, because I got a raging hard-on as I imagined having rough sex with her—pulling her hair, holding her down...”
She leaned closer to him. “Oh, it counts for me. Please, Sir. I need that now.”
He chuckled and held her by her upper arms to keep her from getting too close. Now he’d better not start that again.
“No, kitten. I’m not finished.” He grew serious and she felt a knot form in her stomach. “I just had some things to work out about Joni and my past.”
“And have you…worked them out, I mean?”
“Yeah. I have. I think Joni wants us to be together.”
“I more than think so.” He cocked his head and she continued. “Nine years ago, when I followed you to Lake Michigan on that freezing cold Thanksgiving Day, I heard this unfamiliar and very disembodied woman’s voice telling me to watch over you.” His eyelids narrowed, but he didn’t interrupt. “Then when everything had fallen apart for me after Ian died, I heard her again saying, ‘Go to Adam. He can help.’ Adam, I’ve heard the voice more times than I can say since you came into my life.”
“What makes you think it’s Joni?”
She paused. “I heard it again last Sunday when you were listening to those tapes in your office and realized who’d been talking to me all these years.”
“You heard the tapes.” He closed his eyes, then opened them again. His anguished whisper brought her hand up to stroke his cheek. “What did you hear?”
Adam’s face blurred in front of her. “Just enough to send me running home to my parents. She said how happy you made her as her Master.” Karla’s heart pounded against her chest, but she knew they needed to clear this up before they could go any further. “You said she was the perfect slave. I thought I could try one more time to be the slave you wanted, so I devised the harem-girl scene. But that night I realized I never could be a dutiful slave for you, the way she’d been. I couldn’t compete with a…”
“Wait. You thought…?” Adam pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “Oh, kitten, you terrified me that night. Not at first. God, I loved watching you dance for me in that harem-girl outfit. So fucking sexy. But when you told me you wanted me to be your Master in that way, I freaked out. I was so miserable in the Master role with Joni, especially at first. Luckily, we managed to modify it enough to make it at least tolerable for me. But I can never do the twenty-four/seven TPE ever again.”
Karla pulled away, dashed the moisture from her eyes, and glared up at him. “Then why did you propose a Master/slave arrangement for us?”
He grinned. “You, baby tiger, were supposed to run kicking and screaming from the room, not kneel beside me so gracefully and submit yourself to being my slave.”
She melted inside. “Oh, Adam, I wanted you to love me so badly. At that point, I think I’d have done anything to please you.”
“What changed?”
“I could no longer live with myself if I lost who I was just to please a man. Even if that man was you. While I still loved you heart and soul, I needed you to accept and love me on my terms.”
“God, Karla, I…”
“Hush. I’m not finished.”
“Did you just tell your Dom to hush?”
“Y—” Her eyes opened wider. “My Dom?”
“You’d better believe it, kitten. I have no desire to make you my slave, but you can’t deny your submissive nature any more than I can deny I’m a dominant."
; “I wasn’t trying to deny it. You were the one who kept telling me I wasn’t submissive. I knew from the moment you restrained me in those ropes at Marc’s house the freedom of letting go of control; the excitement of letting the man I love control my body and mind like that. I knew I wanted you to do it again and again.”
“The ka-thunk factor, huh?” He smiled and she grinned back.
“I can’t believe I told you that. Now it’s gone straight to your power-loving head.
He chuckled and brushed a thumb over her cheek. “What else do you enjoy about being a sub?”
“Well, I can’t really compare the sex we had to what non-dominant sex would be like…”
“Nor will you ever. Kitten, I’m afraid you are not destined to experience vanilla sex.”
“No, Sir. Nor do I want to. Everything about sex with you, submitting to you, is so intense. So perfect for me. When you go all Dom on me…”
He grinned before his eyelids narrowed and he became serious. “Dominance isn't a club and bedroom only thing for me, either. I'm used to being in charge of other people. I don't demand total body and mind control, but with your strong, independent streak, I'm going to piss you off more often than not."
She smiled, but figured she could work on that.
He grew even more serious. "What about discipline? That’s part of the Dom/sub package. When you disobey or get too bratty for me in a scene, you'll be punished.”
A shiver went down her back. “I understand, Sir.” Oh, she loved calling him Sir again. “I don’t like being disciplined. It makes me feel like a child and I don’t like giving you any reason to think of me in that way ever again.”
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