She Runs Away (The Sheridan Hall Series Book 2)

by Jessica Calla

  Nate picks up a throw pillow and tosses it across the room toward me. My mother yells as the pillow nails Grandma Riley in the head. Li rushes to her, babbling what can only be Chinese, and my mother comes at Nathan with a wooden spoon. Dad checks my grandmother, calms down Li, and then whacks me in the back of the head.

  I watch the scene and think about what it would be like to be home. To quit NJU and go to a local college. Really, there’s no reason to be in New Jersey if I can’t play football, and Coach doesn’t seem thrilled with me. My scholarship was my sole reason for going there. As soon as I arrived in September, I missed being home, which is why I think I latched onto Jules.

  Still, I made myself a life at NJU. I think about Frank, Juliet, Chase, the basement crew, the guys from the team. Megan and what we’re starting together. She can call it a contract or whatever she wants, but still, it’s something.

  After dinner, I help my mother clean to squeeze in more time with her. My brothers tempt me to go out drinking.

  Mom puts her hand on her hip and gives us her death stare. “Only sixty-percent of you are of legal drinking age.” She points to Evan and me. “You two are staying here.”

  “But Ma,” Nathan whines, “they have fake I.Ds.”

  We do, but Nate’s an ass for announcing it. I throw a dishtowel at him, and he laughs. Evan tackles Nate from behind in the middle of the kitchen, and my mother screams as they land on the floor. Nathan’s the most obnoxious of the crew, but he’s also the most fun. He’s always getting us into trouble. Good trouble.

  “I don’t believe you, Nathan,” Mom says. “Not my babies. They’re perfect. Get up you two.”

  I give Nate the finger behind her back as he gives Evan an extra shove. Mom catches him. “And just for that, you can give Ben a ride to Philly when he’s ready.”

  “Come on, Ma!” he whines. “I did it last time.”

  Evan sighs. “Thank God. I thought I’d be stuck driving him back.”

  “Fuck you, Ev.”

  “Language, Benjamin!” Mom scolds me.

  “I can’t drive you. I have to be up at dawn,” he says. Evan’s in construction, working on a housing development about an hour outside of Philly. I give him the finger anyway.

  And so it goes. We bicker and fight. Mom acts like we’re stressing her out, but I know how much she loves to have us together. “We’re one-hundred percent complete with you here, baby,” she says, patting me on the cheek.

  After dessert, Nathan tells me he’s leaving, so if I want a ride, it’s now or never.

  I consider telling him “never.” That I want to stay here, where I’m safe and loved and where I know everything about everyone. I’m part of the puzzle here. I fit and belong.

  But I don’t say it. I get my bag, kiss my mom, Sam, and Li, hug my dad and grandparents, flip off my brothers, and pet Busterina. “Let’s go,” I tell Nathan.

  I don’t know why, but I’m not quite ready to give up on Sheridan Hall and NJU yet.

  Chapter Nine

  Megan

  Monday night, when everyone bails on the movie I’d suggested and I’m alone in the lounge, my dad calls and asks if I’ll meet him at the penthouse the next weekend. He says he talked to Uncle Pisser and wants to explain everything. I get it, I do, and I know the conversation has to happen. But I don’t want it to. It’s a life changer, and I’m not so great with change.

  I don’t want to talk to him about the letter. In fact, I haven’t touched the stupid thing since I put it in my drawer this morning. I want to be as far away from it as possible, so instead of sleeping in room three, I lay on the couch in the lounge and try to stay up all night. Maybe I’ll wait for Ben. I shut my eyes and keep my phone in my pocket in case he calls.

  A minute, or maybe an hour later, strong arms scoop me up, and Ben’s familiar soapy scent engulfs me. “Shh.” His beard tickles my cheek as he whispers. “Stay asleep.”

  I lay my head against his chest and let him do what he wants with me. I think he’s bringing me to room three, but he carries me to his room instead. He gently lays me in bed without turning on the lights.

  I start to sit up and object, to tell him that I’ll go to my room. I try to check the other bed for Chase, but Ben shushes me again. “Please stay with me,” he whispers in the dark room. “I need you.”

  I sigh and open my eyes. We face each other, our bodies close, sharing his pillow. His warmth covers me like a blanket, even though his comforter is pushed to the foot of his bed.

  His eyes catch a ray of moonlight peeking through the window. He looks tired and sad as he studies my face. “Remember our talk in the library the other night, when I said I didn’t feel like myself? These past few nights with you, I’m happy.”

  My heart flutters at his words. “It’s the sex.”

  He grins through the darkness. “The sex is pretty great. But that’s not it. It’s us.”

  “I know,” I whisper.

  He touches my face, tracing my cheek. “Why are you such a secret, Sweet Meg?”

  I can’t answer. My lips are too tired to move, and I don’t know what to say anyway. But the way he’s looking at me—how his thumb glides to my earlobe, the pull of his fingers tangled in my hair, the gleam in his eyes reflecting through the darkness—makes me feel wanted. Special. Like if I’d let him, he’d wrap me up and take care of me forever. He’d tell me how to tackle my issue with my dad and help me figure out what to do about my letter and my mom. He’s a fixer, and I need to be fixed.

  He moves closer and kisses my forehead. “You don’t have to be secret with me. You can trust me.”

  “I’m trying,” I whisper back. But am I? What am I doing with Ben?

  “Go out with me, Meg.”

  I can’t tell him yes, even though I don’t want to tell him no. “I… It’s late.” I don’t know how to make my words match the way my heart feels.

  He sighs and wraps his arms around me. “Sleep.”

  I shut my eyes without a fight and snuggle into him.

  ***

  When I wake Tuesday morning to my phone’s alarm, I’m alone. There’s a note next to me, leaning against a still-steaming cup of coffee:

  Early class. Thanks for staying with me.

  It looks like he wrote, “I needed” after, but he crossed it out.

  I know what he needs. He needs me to be more to him. He needs to be fixed too, and for whatever reason, he thinks I can be the one to do that for him. It’s so easy for me to let him into my body. Why can’t I let him into my world? I can blame it on him dating Juliet from now until forever, but that’s just surface muck. He’s the good guy Aunt Annie told me about—the one she said to never let go. But what if I can’t grasp him and hold him in the first place?

  I drag myself out of his bed, grab my phone, the note, and my coffee and tiptoe to room three. Maggie’s still asleep, so I sneak into my bed and put Ben’s note under the pillow. It’s dumb, but when I rest my head on the pillow over it, I smile knowing it’s underneath. What is wrong with me?

  I have to pull away from this before I sink too deep. It’s only been five days since Valentine’s Day, and we’ve been together four of those nights. While we haven’t, technically, broken the contract, it’s still a little intense. It’s too much for me with everything going on with my family.

  I text Ben.

  Thanks for the presents. I’ll talk to you later.

  Then I spend the next few days avoiding him.

  I never wanted intimacy.

  ***

  I stay with Uncle Pisser in Manhattan. Dad’s good about giving me space, but I know he’s worried that I’m not at school. I assure him through Uncle that I need to study and can’t concentrate at the dorm. What I don’t admit is that I’m hiding from a letter in my desk from the woman who gave birth to me and the affections of a boy who is trying to break through my walls. I don’t know where those walls came from, but they are there.

  Even though I’ve put physical distance between u
s, I need to hear Ben’s voice. I call him and tell him I left because I needed to focus. When he starts to delve deeper, chipping away at the walls, I change the topic. Whenever I do, he pauses ever so slightly, and I think he’ll call me out on it. But he never does.

  I’m creating a space between us that feels safe, but wrong. Easy, but not right. Can safe be wrong? Don’t I want easy?

  When I finally return to campus on Thursday, the entire floor is around, including the Fives, and the basement turns into party central. Rodrigo buys the booze, and even Maggie comes out of hiding to have a couple of drinks and goof around.

  It’s the first time Winston and Maggie have shared space since their break up. They both look god-awful. Bags under their eyes, skinnier than usual. Whenever they wander within five feet of each other, the tension in the room thickens and one of us intervenes. Win hasn’t made it a secret that he wants her back, but Maggie’s strong and isn’t willing to give him another chance.

  I use my roommate’s personal crisis as an excuse to stick by her side and avoid Ben. Once in a while, I brave a glance at him. When he catches my eye, my heart flutters and my nerves take over, and I turn away. I’m not looking forward to the conversation he’s going to want to have about my absence the past few days.

  Soon, we’re all a little tipsy, and the Fives get wind of my dehydration incident with Second Floor Dave. They flank me on the couch and start asking questions.

  “Oh, I’m fine. I ran without eating or drinking. It was stupid.”

  Poppy angles to face me. “We’re glad you’re okay but really we want to hear about Second Floor Dave.”

  Darcy shuts the doors to the lounge and pulls out a joint. She and Poppy are the resident potheads. I’m kind of glad they aren’t around much, or we’d all probably all get arrested or fail out. The other girls join us, gathering around me on the couch, but it’s Ben’s eyes from across the room that I feel the most.

  I relay the story of how Dave helped me. Darcy shrugs. “That’s it?”

  I nod. “Sorry to disappoint.”

  Poppy offers me the joint, but I decline. “Dave’s so cute,” she says on her exhale. “The second floor has the best looking guys.”

  “What?” Chase yells from across the room. Great. “I beg to differ.”

  Rocco flexes, and my eyes bulge as big as his bicep. Darcy actually makes a weird chirping sound at the sight. Ben rolls his eyes and rubs his beard, and Chase attempts an L.L. Bean model pose. My hormones race as I check out my male floormates. When Rodrigo offers me another plastic cup filled to the rim with his specialty margarita, I take a sip to cool off.

  Juliet waves a hand toward the men. “Settle down, egomaniacs. Second Floor Dave is legendary amongst the female population at NJU.”

  “I heard he sings to his dates,” Pooja adds.

  When we all sigh and aww, Rocco grunts. “You fall for that act? Really?”

  Winston tries to sit next to Maggie, but I plop myself between them and give him a courtesy shove to the shoulder. He shifts over, takes the joint, inhales, and points to the guys. “It’s not just that Dave sings. He’s in a band. The Randoms. They play at the shore a lot. Meg, Mag, Frank, and I went to one of their shows.”

  At the mention of Frank, the chemistry of the room changes. For me, I hear his name and smile. It’s impossible for me not to when I think of him and his goofy grin. I try to focus on his life, not the way he died.

  Rocco moves toward the group. “You went with Frank to see Dave’s band?”

  Frank grew up on the Jersey shore and always talked about how much he loved it. The night we went to see Dave’s band at the bar on the beach, everyone in the place knew Frank. “He was a Second Floor Dave fanboy,” I tell Rocco. “We teased him about it.”

  The others listen intently as Maggie takes over and tells everyone about that night. We’d all drank and danced, and then stumbled into his grandmother’s house in the three a.m. hour. God bless the woman, she got up to make us eggs. Four drunken, underage college kids, and she didn’t care. Frank had called her “a gem.”

  Rocco stares through us. He hasn’t been handling November well at all. Pooja tries to help. Despite her gifts, she’s not magic and she can’t erase the events of that horrible day. “He never mentioned Dave to me. I had no idea Frank was a fan. I know his Gram misses him.” He must still keep in touch with her.

  None of us know what to do with Rocco, except maybe Pooja. She reaches for his hand, but he pulls away. “Frank had horrible taste in music anyway. It was the worst part about working out with him.” Again, Rocco says the words to nobody in particular as he stares past us with expressionless black eyes.

  We’re silent for a few seconds until Juliet breaks the tension. “I heard Dave doesn’t have a phone.”

  Everyone turns to stare at Juliet like she’s crazy. She lifts her hands in surrender. “That’s what I heard.”

  Maggie shakes her head and scrunches her nose. “Who doesn’t have a phone? That’s totally weird.”

  Poppy giggles. “Yeah, well I heard he has a giant di—” Darcy laughs and covers Poppy’s mouth as Poppy holds her hands about a foot apart.

  Maggie gasps, but Juliet adds, “I heard that too!”

  “Whoa,” Chase interrupts. “Back up. You seriously think singing, phoneless, and, might I add, skinny Dave is better than us? First, we all know size does not matter. Right Rod?”

  Rodrigo throws an ice cube at Chase. “Funny, Van Gogh.”

  Chase paces in front of us like he’s arguing to a jury. “You want size?" He points around the room. “We have Mr. New Jersey here! And look at Ben! He’s a handsome dude when he’s not doing the lumberjack thing.”

  Ben stands and points at him. “Hey, don’t be jealous because you can’t grow a beard on that pretty face.”

  I stifle a laugh. I love Ben’s lumberjack look.

  “And me?” Chase continues. “I’ve been mistaken for actors. Actors, ladies! Winston is kind of techie stylish, I guess. You know, even Rod, despite his smallness, has some redeeming qualities.”

  We all take cover when Rodrigo throws another ice cube at Chase. “All I know,” Rodrigo says, “is Second Floor Dave gets around. Now he’s getting around to our Meg.”

  Dave’s looks definitely rank. I have so much going on with Ben right now that I can’t even imagine… well, maybe I can imagine. My face heats. Ugh. Stupid boys. “All he did was help me inside. I passed out.”

  “And you went to his show,” Rodrigo adds holding up a finger, “and you all think he’s cute.” Ben’s eyes shoot lasers as my floormates try their best to embarrass me.

  “Oh my God.” Juliet points at me, eyes wide. “Is he the hot Valentine’s Day guy?”

  I squeeze my eyes shut. She didn’t just say—

  “What hot Valentine’s Day guy?” Ben asks as he sidles over to me. I open my eyes so I can give him a dirty look. At least he didn’t tell her.

  Juliet addresses Ben. “Meg hooked up on Valentine’s Day with some random hot dude.”

  “Oh. My. God.” I drop my jaw and give Juliet my “what the fuck” face. “Really?”

  Ben chuckles, his big dumb body convulsing and making the couch bounce.

  Juliet smiles. “Hey, I’m not judging. I’m impressed.” I try to reach out and smack her, but she backs away.

  “You’re a bitch, Juliet.” Maggie scowls but then turns her big blue eyes to mine. “So was it Second Floor Dave, Meg?”

  I gasp. “Maggie! How could you—”

  Ben smirks. “Yeah, Meg. Was it Second Floor Dave?” I glare at him as my face heats to the extremes. He tilts his head and waits for my answer. The silence is deafening as they look at me with anticipation.

  I wave my arms. “Screw all of you!”

  They all laugh, except for Poppy, who won’t give up. “Nut-uh, not so fast. Back up again there, Megan. Dave did carry you in, right?”

  I sigh and raise my eyebrows. “Yeah, so?”

  Darcy sighs. “So
he’s strong. And those eyes. What color are they? They look…”

  Ben chuckles next to me so I spout, “Hazel,” then turn and smirk at him, feeling my competitive streak taking hold. Let’s play. “They’re this lovely combination of blue and green and brown.”

  Suddenly, Ben’s smile fades.

  I turn my back to him and focus on the girls. “I swear they twinkle. And yeah, he swooped me up like they do in the romance novels. You know what I mean?”

  The girls sigh, but Rocco huffs and waves an arm my way. “Smith is light as a feather. Something would be seriously wrong with him if he couldn’t pick her up.”

  “I don’t know, Roc. He felt really strong.” I emphasize strong to irk Ben.

  “You guys know we love you," Juliet says. "It’s just, the second floor is—”

  “Mysterious.” Maggie breathes the word and stares into space.

  “And Dave is—” Pooja starts.

  “Dreamy,” Maggie finishes again.

  “He sounds like a creep,” Ben says, his voice tweaking as he stares me down.

  Jealous much?

  “Well,” Pooja says, “his colors are great. He’s amazingly handsome. He’s talented. He’s happy.”

  “We’re happy, dammit,” Rocco practically yells, his veins popping out of his neck.

  “Yeah, right,” Juliet says, rolling her eyes. “But Dave’s happy like, always.” Chase glares at her. “Not that I’ve noticed.”

  I know she noticed because back in September she and I had an entire conversation about Dave. We’d heard the rumors.

  “Well, Megan,” Darcy says. “You gonna give Second Floor Dave a roll so we can all live vicariously?”

  “Uh, I dunno. Maybe?” I stutter, just to get them to shut up. The girls cheer as Ben scowls.

  By midnight, everyone’s wasted and passing out in random places. Ben and Rodrigo sit on Rocco’s workout bench deep in conversation, and I decide it’s a good time to sneak out.

  I shake my head, pull my shoulders back, and attempt to beeline for the lounge door, but the doorway moves around. My feet won’t walk in a straight path, and I weave to the exit, making progress until Ben blocks my way.