The War Within
Page 13
Sohail, panther-like, paced the room. It was nerve-wracking to watch him. Sonya was a mess. All the things I’d thought about her when we first met—that she was weird but brave, bossy but occasionally kind—melted away like ice in a fire. She just sat there, rocking herself. I moved closer and put an arm around her. It was the first time I’d been that close without her pulling away.
‘I’m sure we’ll be all right. Maybe Sohail’s father will realise we are gone, send out a party of men.’ The words sounded empty, even to me. I’d never been big on telling lies. The look on her face would have stopped me from saying more anyway.
‘No.’ Sonya gulped down a sob. ‘Mujahideen are supposed to be fighting jihad or holy war but these people are terrorists fighting for power and using Islam as a screen. They are the sort of men who block the aid, and sell information and behead people if they do not do what they want. They deal in hashish to get arms and do not care which country they give information to. Men like this killed my mother and—and we shall never get out of here alive.’
Tears filled her eyes and I couldn’t understand how she went through so many emotional fluctuations. We were kidnapped in the village, yet she was fine then.
Liana spoke, maybe to lighten Sonya’s mood, or to keep our minds off the horror. ‘I’ve been impressed how you’ve taken everything in your stride. You were so brave in Peshawar and calm in the village.’
Sonya turned to face us, and I was shocked at the hopelessness in her face. ‘That was because I knew. Do you not see? When Sohail captured us, I realised who he was. I saw a family likeness. Uncle Kumar—’
‘He’s your real uncle?’ Talk about true confessions.
‘Yes, and Sohail is my cousin. We were never in any danger.’ She gulped a breath. ‘I wanted to help. I wanted to see Afghanistan unified, rebuilt and strong again, not like a strict Islamic state. But a place where girls can study, women are allowed to work, and the poor and sick are cared for. Many people do their part in some way. It is always risky, and many do not understand the tangle of intrigue that is woven between foreign nations and all the different parties that want to rule. So many Afghans care little for that kind of unity when they fight in the mountains far from Kabul.’
‘So Jasper was wrong, you are not working for a Western country.’
‘No, I found out information—like which country was giving arms to which party, and how much—and I would tell Uncle Kumar. I think some countries, especially the superpowers, say they are helping but they only send enough arms to keep the mujahideen and the government fighting, never enough to let them win and unite the country. And without this unity we will destroy ourselves. My father never knew what I did. I had made a mistake, a political agent must have followed me, just before you came. I was very worried and I am sorry I took it out on you. That was when Uncle Kumar thought of the idea of kidnapping me to make it seem I was not helping him.’
‘But it all went wrong.’
‘Yes.’
‘Why didn’t you let us go in Peshawar?’
‘It was too dangerous. You were followed from the capital by an agent also, but we were not sure if he was Russian or Pakistani.’
‘Pakistani?’
‘Many do not want Afghanistan to unite, to have the freedom that the West believe was won for us after September 11. Also, my uncle’s honour was at stake. It was our fault you were involved in this. We were honour-bound to mend it. When my uncle realised that Jasper was the son of his old friend, he had double resolve to keep all of you safe.’
She paused, then said, ‘My father will be waiting for me. That was our plan. I managed to meet him one night at the village.’
So much for Jasper’s idea of her meeting with an agent. ‘That’s why you left your mare and were on foot at the rendezvous?’
She tilted her head. ‘Now he will not know where I am. It is dangerous for him too.’
‘Why?’
‘He is Russian. There is always talk that there is a move to gather the Asian states together again. Some Afghans would like them to be part of Afghanistan, and people have not forgotten that Russia has lost her path to a warm port.’
There was more she said but I didn’t understand the politics. By the time she had finished, I felt like any new aid worker who had worked in Afghanistan: that there was no way of piecing it all together. I simply said how sorry I was, and surprisingly, Sonya took my hand.
‘I thought you and Liana were very brave—no, truly, when you did not know what I knew. We could not tell you, in case the wrong people contacted you. It was to keep me safe, and now I am very sorry that in keeping me safe, you have come to harm.’ The tears glistened in her eyes and I put my arm around her again. ‘We shall die,’ she said softly, ‘but at least I have died for my country. I am sorry that you cannot say the same.’
I looked up to find Sohail’s gaze on me. Some Afghans have an uncanny way of staring at you, but Sohail’s was not like the vacant staring of the guard. It was communing—maybe he was telling me he was sorry, but he also looked resigned.
It disappointed me. Sohail had seemed different, and even though we’d never had deep conversations because of the cultural taboos, I thought we’d be kindred spirits in another culture and place. I’d never considered him as a person who’d sit and wait as if everything had been willed by God. It goaded me to ask him a question.
‘Why did you say your village has nothing to do with this fort? Is it because they belong to a different political party or ethnic group?’
Sohail sighed and I wondered if such a question would take too long to answer. How much time did we have? I was about to tell him not to worry when he sat against the wall and spoke.
‘It is an old story, and not a pretty one. We were related by blood to the people from the fort. There was a feud, you understand?’
I nodded.
‘It all started with my aunt. She was very beautiful. She studied in Kabul and was able to work in a government office for a while. Educated women could do those things in Kabul then, although strict imams were not happy about it. There was a Russian, an advisor to the government, working there also, and he wished to marry her. My maternal grandparents disagreed, saying it was an unsuitable arrangement. They were living in the village, in the fort at the time. My father’s parents are the less conservative side of the family and agreed to the match. The groom even studied Islam to appease our angry relatives.’ He paused a moment and I managed to stop myself asking what happened next.
‘The couple never came here at first for fear of trouble, but one time they did. They had a beautiful little daughter. They thought that if they could only show her to her grandparents, there would be reconciliation. For what grandparents would not love their own blood?’ Pain flared in his eyes. ‘My aunt was killed by an extremist young fool who understood nothing. My aunt’s Russian husband has been only half a man since, immersing himself in his work, not knowing how to properly bring up his daughter. We have become her family instead.’
I quietly said, ‘The baby is Sonya.’
Sohail glanced at Sonya and tipped his head to the side. He didn’t say any more.
Liana whispered to me, ‘God will help us, we only have to ask Him.’ She squeezed my hand.
I prayed as I touched Jasper’s forehead again, noticing his hair was darker from the sweat of fever. He felt so hot, yet I was freezing and finding it hard to keep awake. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to sleep, but I was exhausted. How many kilometres did we walk across the Afghan mountains? It felt like a hundred.
The last thing I remember seeing was the baleful stare of the guard watching us from the grimy window in the door.
25
Jaime
A noise woke me and my eyes flew open. It still wasn’t morning as far as I could tell.
‘Dad!’ Jasper called out as he rolled onto his shoulder.
‘Mum? I fell … off the bike. I hurt so bad.’ Then he shouted, ‘Where’s Dad?’
Sohail moved closer.
‘He’s delirious,’ Liana said and I hoped Sohail would know what to do.
Then I said, ‘Jas, it’s okay. It’s me, Jaime.’ I rested my hand on his head again; he was burning up. He groaned and I brushed my arm across my face, not entirely to scrape hair from my eyes. I was still blinking when I poured water out of the clay pot onto another piece of my dress to wipe his face.
Sohail watched me for a moment, then felt Jasper’s head himself. When he spoke, I heard an echo of the misery I felt, and the fatigue. ‘I have seen this before. Men would be brought to the village from the fighting with bullet wounds. If they got fevers, they died, unless a doctor was found.’
‘He won’t die!’ I felt stupid for saying it: we were all going to die.
There was a big-brotherly type of compassion in Sohail’s face. It almost made me cry properly, so I looked at Jasper instead. Tears fell onto Jasper’s face. He didn’t flinch and I knew then I’d do all I could for him. I understood that grief for his father had eaten him up and made him moody, trying to prove himself; that it’d been difficult for him being where his father had been killed. But he was still Jasper. We’d shared too much at school since we were six, and I cared.
‘Would there be a doctor here?’ I asked Sohail.
‘We shall have to send for a hakim. They should have one.’ Sohail called for the guard.
‘Not a hakim!’ I couldn’t imagine the fort having a trained healer. ‘That won’t help him now—just some old remedy. He needs the bullet taken out.’
‘There is no other way,’ Sohail returned gently, but I didn’t miss the firmness in his voice, nor the pain. It was as though he truly cared. How could that have happened when all Jasper had shown him was anger and sarcasm? The thought distracted me a moment until Vacant Eyes unlocked the door and looked in, frowning.
He took one glance at Jasper, growled and stood over the bed. He must have been told to hold our lives lightly because he whisked out a knife like the war lord’s and with his other hand, ripped open Jasper’s shirt. It all happened so fast. The buttons popped, Jasper moaned before I could even scream a protest. All I could do was stare, watching the knife descend.
Then suddenly, Vacant Eyes made a peculiar sound. He abruptly sheathed the knife and, with a lingering look at Jasper but not a glance at the rest of us, he left the room. Sohail, poised like a cat, suddenly flopped on to the floor. So did I.
‘Now what’s going on?’ I murmured. No one answered. Seeing Jasper nearly killed made me realise afresh what the future held and how naïve I’d been to think it could be any different.
n
In the morning I was woken by Jasper calling my name. ‘Jaime. Is there any water?’
It was a special moment. ‘Jas! You sound so much better.’ The bandages were a surprise too. ‘When did that happen?’
‘No idea. It seems a hakim has been here, though.’
I took the clay pot over to him. ‘This will be full of amoeba.’
‘Amoeba are the least of our problems right now.’ His eyes glazed over as he tried to raise himself and fell back on the bed.
Sohail rushed to his side to lift him.
‘I’ll hold your head up, Jasper,’ I said. ‘Just sip.’
As the pain subsided, his eyes cleared again and his gaze rested on Sonya. Realisation dawned on his face and he winced as he tried to move again. ‘Sohail. You knew it was Sonya last night, didn’t you?’
The young Pakhtun gave a slight smile as he inclined his head. ‘Burqas do not hide the way a girl walks or holds her head.’
‘Then where’s Liana?’
I sighed as I set down the water jar. Liana came forward so Jasper could see her. ‘When we were ambushed last night, or this morning, I wasn’t well. I was in the bushes and heard everything. I was returning to the village—’
‘When they caught you too,’ Jasper said tiredly.
‘How bad do you think it is, Jas?’ I said. Do you think they’ll let us go? For money? Are we hostages?’
He was quiet for such a long time that I thought he must have dropped off to sleep, when he slowly answered. ‘I’m not sure. I thought we were hostages in the village and had to get out, but I was wrong. I’m sorry.’ He had a kind of ‘I don’t deserve you to like me’ look on his face. I squeezed his hand. Anything negative I felt about him disappeared when I’d wiped his face with strips of my tribal dress. He must have been in the mood for confessions because he continued.
‘You know Mr Kumar told me how Dad died. I haven’t handled it all very well, right from the start. But I feel I can face it now. All that fear and anger because I wasn’t there for Dad—maybe I’ll still have problems with it, but I don’t feel like it’s controlling me any more. Now I reckon I could get to breaking point and I wouldn’t flip all over the place like I was. Sohail told me a few things too.’
Jasper told me all that had happened the night before with Sohail. I was sure the others could hear him as well. ‘Actually it was more like a camel kick up the backside. Sohail’s counselling methods wouldn’t go down well in the West. Jaime?’ He reached up, touching my face just like he had when he went scouting the night before, and wiped away the tear rolling down my cheek. ‘You’re crying.’
‘It’s just that ever since I came back here, I’ve been so worried about you. I wanted us to be friends again, like we were before I left to go to Australia. I know you still cared or you wouldn’t have tried to get us out of the village, but it wasn’t the same.’
‘No.’ Then I felt Jasper’s good hand on my neck drawing me down. I didn’t think to resist or even wonder if the others were watching. His kiss was gentle, gentler than I would have thought, and for a moment, I forgot about forts and assault rifles and wars. I sat up, still holding his hand.
‘Friends again?’ His eyes were smiling like they used to.
‘Yeah. Why did you kiss me?’
‘I wanted to do that all through Year 10 and I kicked myself after you’d gone. I’d never told you just how much you meant and I don’t want that to happen again. If we get out of here, or if we don’t, I want you to know how special you are.’
‘Thanks, Jas.’ Then I grinned. ‘Remember how we used to compare scratches and scabs to see who had the biggest?’ He nodded, grinning too as I gently touched his bandages. ‘Guess you win again.’
Jasper’s bandages were an encouraging sign. Why would they have bothered fixing him if killing us was the next item on their agenda? I tried to get Sonya to see the logic of that, but she wouldn’t be consoled. Sohail kept tight-lipped too. I guess he knew about these people; I didn’t.
One interesting thing happened, though. It seemed Jasper was suddenly on their list of special guests. Mid-morning, Vacant Eyes came in with breakfast—on a tray. Even the naan was warm. It reminded me a bit of the morning Sohail brought breakfast to us in Peshawar, but try as I might, I could not transform Vacant Eyes into Sohail’s dashing figure. Unfortunately, the breakfast this time was only for Jasper, and Vacant Eyes stood there, making sure Jasper was the only one who ate it.
‘Go on, Jas. You need it anyway.’ Besides, I reckoned the guard would let us finish off what Jasper didn’t eat. That must have been in Jasper’s mind too, for he soon finished, and the guard simply looked annoyed when Jasper handed us the rest. It was as if he wouldn’t stop anything Jasper wanted to do. I had the unpleasant thought that if we’d put our hands out to take it, our fingers would have been sliced off.
After Vacant Eyes disappeared from the room in a huff, leaving us to finish the breakfast, I said, ‘Why are they treating you like a prince?’
/> No one answered.
26
Jaime
Sohail was busy studying the mud walls. ‘These are hundreds of years old,’ he murmured to nobody in particular. He’d taken to talking in Urdu or English—so we’d all understand, I guess. Then he stood up and started his pacing again. I was struggling to not let what I privately called his panther prance unnerve me, when I saw his foot catch on a rough part of the floor. I expected his sharp exclamation in Pakhtu, but not the hype that was suddenly in his tone.
‘Raza! Come!’ he urged. Even Sonya crawled over with Liana and me. All we could see was a square piece of wood set into the mud floor. Sohail had dragged back the canvas-like stuff covering the floor and was scraping years of dirt and mildew to one side.
‘What is it?’ Sonya asked.
Sohail tried prising up the wood with his fingers. It wasn’t moving and his breath came in puffs. I gave him the spoon from the tray to use as a lever and crouched down to help him; so did Sonya. Finally we lifted up a giant spider’s trapdoor. I stared down into the dark cavity below.
‘Do you know what I think it is?’ I actually clutched Sohail’s arm. ‘Once we went to Rohtas Fort near Jhelum and there was a whole underground well system. One of the Moghul emperors had it built. There were passages that even went outside the fort walls. Sohail! We could escape!’
He stared back at me steadily, as if refusing to share my level of excitement. ‘What if it is not?’
Jasper’s voice came from the bed. ‘I vote we try it and see where it leads. If we tried at night, it mightn’t matter if we have to come back.’
‘That guard listens to everything,’ Sonya said. ‘He was in here like a gunshot when Jasper was ill.’