“She told me I had to choose.”
Jasmine was confused, “Choose what?”
“Choose between you and her.”
She sucked in her breath, “Oh. But why?”
“I honestly wish I knew. I mean if this is because she saw me kiss you on your nose then to hell with her. I don’t have anything to prove. I have never cheated on her or disrespected her in any way.”
Jasmine felt sick, but what could she do? She understood his side better than hers because she would never choose someone over him either.
“I am so sorry Blake. Is there anything I can do?”
“No, I think you’ve done enough.”
That offended her, “Okay, whoa! I haven’t done anything to deserve your attitude.”
He mumbled a curse word in anger.
“You’re right Jaz, I’m sorry. I’m just not a big fan of your gender at the moment.”
She softened because she knew he was really hurting so she swallowed her pride. She pulled his right hand off the steering wheel and held it. He squeezed hers, and somewhere in his heart he knew he’d made the right choice. He wouldn’t regret it, but it didn’t help with the pain.
He pulled into Jasmine’s driveway, put his truck in park and turned off the ignition. She looked over at him puzzled.
“You wanna come inside or something?”
He shook his head, “Maybe we could just sit here for a little while.”
She knew they both had serious homework to do and it was getting late, but she said, “Sure.”
He reached down and grabbed her hand again.
She asked, “You wanna talk about it?”
He shook his head, “Just sit here with me while I process it.”
She nodded. They sat there in silence for almost twenty minutes.
Finally he spoke, “Jasmine this hurts like hell.”
Her heart ached so badly for him and since she knew he wouldn’t but needed to, she let her tears be his tears.
“I’m so sorry Blake. What can I do?”
“Just keep being you.”
She smiled, “I can do that.”
He said, “For the record, I’m done with the whole love thing.”
“Blake don’t say that.”
“I am so serious. You can have this crap. It’s not for me.”
“It’s your first broken heart Blake give it some time.”
“There won’t be a second, you can bet that. From now on you’re the only woman in my heart. I know you will never hurt me.”
She laughed, “Okay, me and you against the world.”
He managed a smile. She pushed his hair back from his face and kissed his temple.
“Come on inside. We can eat junk food while we do our Economics and Algebra homework. I’m sure it will take your mind off it for the time being.”
He took in a deep breath, kissed her nose and then wiped her tears away.
“You’re right. Economics will definitely replace this headache.”
Part Three:
College Years
Chapter 7: Scared Stupid
Jasmine, Blake and Damon all graduated from high school and got accepted to the University of North Florida in Jacksonville. Jasmine was pursuing business administration, Blake, English with plans for law school.
Damon was still undecided, though he was leaning toward architecture. College was a whole other realm for each of them. There were new people, new experiences and new responsibilities. Their new lives didn’t always make time for them to hang out the way they used to.
The first semester of college breezed by in no time. Damon and Blake still hung out with some consistency, but he hadn’t really spent much time with Jasmine. When he wasn’t studying or in class he was hanging out with some pretty young woman enjoying the freedom of being a perpetually single man. This was how he coped with his heart break.
Jasmine and Robert never made it through high school for reasons she never cared to remember. She had been dating a young man for the past couple of months and she spent most of her spare time with him. She and Blake kept in touch via email but they always seemed to be too busy to hang out with any regularity. She missed him, but she had a life of her own. As smart as she was she hadn’t managed that new life very well and found herself in a disturbing predicament.
Blake and his newest lady friend were tipsy and stumbling into the apartment groping each other practically joined by the lips. They made it through the front door, but he was struggling with his room key because he had her pressed up against the door. When he dropped the keys she laughed, but was still tugging at his clothes.
Finally after what seemed like forever, he unlocked the door and they tumbled in barely keeping their balance. He pushed her down onto the bed as she laughed, but her laugh was cut short and turned into a scream because she felt a body beneath hers.
Jasmine yelped as she was suddenly awakened. She tried to focus on her surroundings. Through her blood-shot-swollen-from-crying eyes she could barely make anything out. Blake hit the lights to see what was going on and he cursed. He loved Jasmine but she really had some pretty inconvenient timing. They had explicit rules not to drop by unannounced on the weekends.
His libido was being watered down and his alcohol-laced buzz was fading. Now he was just fuming.
“Jaz, what are you doing here?”
She was still struggling to focus on the sudden light in the room as the young lady stood with her arms folded and a scowl on her face.
“Who is this girl in your bed Blake?”
Blake waved her off, “It’s just my friend.”
He hadn’t really paid any attention to Jasmine. When he could finally get past his anger and really looked at her, his heart dropped as did he, to his knees by her side.
“Jaz, what’s wrong? What happened?”
She was disoriented and trying to leave. She didn’t mean to be there when he brought someone home. She couldn’t say she actually knew what day it was.
“B, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be here. I’ll leave. Just call me tomorrow.”
She looked into the fiery eyes of his date, “I’m so sorry. I just needed to talk to Blake, but it can wait. Please don’t let me ruin your evening. I’m leaving right now.”
As she searched around for her shoes Blake stared at her dumbfounded. He realized she was shaking. She looked ragged, like she had been crying for days. When was the last time he saw her? It had been a few weeks because classes were hectic. He really had just been too busy with his life to hang out. He had never seen her look so bad and it scared him. What could be wrong?
He remained there in shock as she finally got her shoes on and headed out the door. He got off his knees and sat on his bed. The young lady knelt in front of him and began kissing his face.
She said, “Now that almost ruined my buzz.”
For some reason that irritated him beyond reason, “Would you just stop, okay? My friend is obviously in some kinda trouble.”
“Weren’t you listening? She said she was fine and to call her tomorrow. Now can we please get back to us?”
“Did she look fine to you? God where is your compassion?”
She looked at him annoyed, “Compassion for a complete stranger?”
He stood up causing her to tumble back.
Thoroughly incensed that her evening was about to be ruined she yelled, “What is your problem Blake!”
He shook his head, “You need to leave. I’m sorry, but I have to go see about Jasmine.”
He fixed his clothes and began looking for his keys.
She was irate, “Are you kidding me? Obviously she is a little more than a friend. Who is she Blake?”
“She is my oldest friend and I can’t think about sex right now knowing she could really be in some kind of trouble.”
“I know you are not about to leave me for that stupid nig…”
His eyes were blue ice, “Don’t you even finish that. Get the hell out of my room and los
e my number.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean it. I’m a little drunk. Can we just start over?”
He held the door open and rudely gestured for her to walk through it. He heard the slew of expletives as she headed for the front door, but he could care less. He had to see about Jasmine.
Chapter 8: The Truth Hurts
Blake was driving so fast to get to Jasmine’s apartment it didn’t even register to him that he was slightly inebriated as he flew through the city in the wee hours of the morning. He was so thankful to make it there in one piece and without a ticket. He parked in front of the apartment she shared with her roommates. There wasn’t a single light on, including the porch light.
He didn’t want to knock because it was nearing 3 A.M., so he walked around and tapped on Jasmine’s window. He had tried her cell, but it kept going to voicemail. He tapped for what seemed like hours but in reality it was only five minutes. Then her light was on. She peered through the blinds. He pointed towards the front door.
Moments later she opened the door. The person staring back at him looked even worse than she did earlier. He didn’t think that was possible.
“Jaz, what is going on?”
More tears fell as she said, “Nothing Blake. Why are you here?”
He pushed his way in closing the door behind him.
“Because you look like the poster child for an anti-drug ad and you obviously cannot control the tears that are running down your face.”
She turned away from him in frustration wishing he would leave and wishing she hadn’t allowed herself to be so stupid.
“Blake, just please go. I can’t deal with this right now.”
He ignored her as they walked into her room. He let out a frustrated breath. He swore he could feel the depression in the room practically leap on him. That’s it, he had enough. He grabbed her by the shoulders and got in her face.
“Jaz, I’m not playing. You are going to tell me what the heck is going on and you are going to tell me now.”
Having been able to finally get a good look at her he asked, “Jasmine, is that a bruise on your face? Did somebody hit you?”
She thought she was all cried out but apparently not as a new rush of tears began cascading down. She grabbed him and held on for dear life. He brought her over to the bed as they sat. He waited out the tears knowing her like the back of his own hand. This part had to come first.
After the tears were done she looked up into those gorgeous blue eyes that were filled with fear and pain and whispered, “I’m pregnant Blake.”
He blinked, and then just stared.
“Say that again.”
Her voice had a little more strength now that she had finally said it out loud.
“I’m pregnant.”
Of all the things he had imagined and there had been some pretty bad things, this was not paramount on the list. He had no idea what to say. Jasmine was such a responsible person. How could she let this happen?
So he just asked her, “Jasmine, how could you let this happen?”
“I don’t know Blake. I mean it was only one time. Now that bastard is saying it’s not his and I’m just trying to trap him. He told me I better get rid of it. We sorta got into a very heated argument and he hit me. I tried to kick his balls into his throat. He won’t be making any more babies anytime soon. Blake I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”
Now all he felt was anger topped off with some hate for that excuse of a man she was dating. Everything in him wanted to find him and kill him with his bare hands. What kind of a man would not only walk away from his kid but put his hands on a woman in anger? He knew Jasmine was a virgin so to him that just made it more despicable. He tried to calm himself and think.
“Jaz, what is it that you want to do?”
She snapped, “Didn’t I just say I don’t know. I can’t a have a baby and finish school. I can’t have a baby and not be married. I can’t have a baby from a man who put his hands on me and who doesn’t want it.”
Her tirade began to fizzle out as she whimpered, “Blake, I cannot have this baby.”
It finally clicked that she was heading toward abortion and even though it was an obvious option, his thinking was more along the lines of stay in school or leave school. Not if she would have the baby, but when she would have the baby.
He grabbed her face, “Jaz you can’t kill this baby.”
She snatched away, “Don’t you judge me. Don’t you dare judge me! I have been agonizing over this for a month now and I can’t do this. I cannot tell my parents I was stupid enough to get knocked up on my very first time which wasn’t even that great. I cannot finish school and raise a kid on my own. I cannot see him dating other women while me and my bastard child are struggling to make ends meet because I have to work full time and go to school full time and be somebody’s mother full time.”
She let out a frustrated scream and Blake just sat quietly and let her rant. She got down on her knees and faced him.
“B, I never thought that I could ever kill my baby, but you have no idea how I feel right now and I just can’t do this.”
He hurt for her but he had to be true to himself, “Jaz, I think that’s a bunch of bull and I’m not saying that it won’t be hard but that just can’t be your final answer. You won’t be by yourself Jaz. I’ll be here.”
She stood as she rolled her eyes, “Yeah right Blake, you’ll be here. We don’t even see each other but maybe once every other week as it is and that’s in passing. Every time I see you you’re with a different girl, living your life and having fun, and that’s fine but this isn’t your problem it’s mine.”
“Jaz, I love you and I’m not going to bail on you because I’m boning some chick. One thing has nothing to do with the other. I’m not naïve, but come on there has to be a better solution than killing an innocent child.”
She couldn’t handle the way he was making sense.
“Blake, just stop okay because you know what one day you’re going to be married and you’re going to have kids of your own and I’m sure your wife isn’t going to want the little black bastard child tagging along on family picnics.”
His temper was red hot and it was fast. Before she could utter another word he was in her face.
“Don’t you dare bring race into this Jaz, after everything we’ve dealt with. Don’t you belittle this friendship to black and white. I am not my father Jasmine. I am not him!”
The hurt in his eyes shamed her because she pushed that button on purpose.
“I’m sorry Blake but like it or not our friendship is changing. It’s been five months. We barely know anything about each other anymore. You have a life and I have this mess I made of mine. I’m sorry I came to your house. I wish I had never told you this so that I could do what I needed to do without seeing that look of disappointment on your face.”
He felt pangs of guilt hit him. She was right. Once they got to college they kind of headed in their own direction. If their friendship had remained intact would she be in this situation or would he have been able to warn her away from this guy who he knew was no good for her?
It also hurt him to know she regretted sharing her secret with him. They had shared just about everything since they were snot-nosed kids. What was happening to his world? When did being friends with Jasmine become so difficult? Why did he pull away from her? If he was honest with himself he knew it was because Jasmine would never approve of his current behavior. He didn’t want to hear her chastising him about his promiscuity.
His temper was ebbing so he reached out and pulled her into his chest. He laid his cheek on the mass of curls that he loved to play in. He just breathed her in to steady himself, the scent of coconuts bringing back childhood memories. Jasmine had been his rock for as long as he could remember. Now it was time for him to be hers.
“Jaz, just let me think for a minute okay.”
She held on and nodded. She missed her friend and it hurt to think that their friendship was taki
ng a turn that would send them off in different directions forever. She didn’t want that. She didn’t think she could handle that. Blake lifted her chin with the tip of his fingers.
“Jaz, I love you and I’m going to love this kid. We can figure this out. Just please don’t do this. You have always been there for me and you never gave up on me. I would never bail on you when you were in need. Even if your need was a lifelong one.”
She avoided his eyes, “I already have an appointment first thing Monday morning.”
That irritated him, but he tried not to let it show.
“Okay Jaz, that gives us three days to come up with a plan that doesn’t require you to keep that appointment.”
She started to shake her head.
He grabbed her face, “Jaz, please just let me take the next three days to figure out something. We can do this. We can make this work. I’m not saying it will be easy, but it is doable. People have unexpected babies every day.”
He touched her belly, “Please don’t do this Jasmine, please. I’m just asking that you exhaust every other option.”
A seed of hope began to plant itself in Jasmine’s heart. She didn’t want to kill her baby, but she didn’t see any other way except to undo what she had accidentally done.
“Okay Blake, I can’t promise you anything, but we can take the next three days and see what we come up with.”
He kissed her nose and gave her one last hug. He felt like he had some breathing room finally. He wasn’t a praying man, but he muttered something akin to help me God.
Chapter 9: The Nail in the Coffin
It was Saturday and Jasmine hadn’t talked to Blake for the last 24 hours. She knew this was how he thought so she hadn’t expected to hear from him, but something was weighing heavy on her heart. She knew Blake to be a man of his word. If he said he was going to be there for her he would, even if it hindered his future but she didn’t want that. She would never be okay with his life suffering because of her bad decision making skills. So while his support was necessary she needed the support of her parents.
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