Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1)

by Melinda Michelle

  “But Jasmine.”

  “Shhh. No, just listen. My love for you made it easy to agree. Then when I went in that room and he was so nasty and hateful my reasons turned very dark. I wanted him to suffer knowing that a black woman saved his life. I wanted him to be reminded every time he saw my face that I was the reason, the only reason, he was breathing. I was tired of him making me feel like nothing.”

  She looked away from him because she needed a moment. Blake never knew all the resentment she had for his father. She was always so respectful and tolerant of him.

  His heart ached for her, “Jaz, why didn’t you tell me?”

  She smiled a watery smile and continued with no response to his question.

  “The truth is, that just made me more miserable. I tried to pray about it, but I was pissed at God for putting me in that position in the first place. I was disappointed in myself because I felt I was no better than your father. I couldn’t talk to God, so I let Him talk to me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She laughed, “I picked up my Bible and I let it fall open. I needed something to get me back on solid ground. It fell open to 1 Corinthians 13.”

  He remembered that one from Sunday school, “That’s the chapter about love?”

  “Yeah, it is. It’s God’s standard for love. I began to read it and I realized the way God wants us to love each other is the way he loves us. I remembered how you protected me from your dad when we were kids. You were willing to take the pain for me. I was reminded of the sacrifice you made for me and the compassion you showed me back when I got pregnant in college. I remembered how you were by my side holding me up until I could hold myself up. I remember how every year on my baby’s birthday you held me and comforted me and you never once said I told you so. I know what that cost you. I know that it still hurts you. I know it still costs you. I will never take what you did for me for granted.”

  She saw the emotion storm into his eyes as he looked away for a moment.

  “You made a choice to love me and support me even when you didn’t agree or didn’t understand how I could do it. Blake, I don’t understand why you would still want a relationship with your dad and I don’t agree that he deserves the chance to be in your life after everything he has done to you. But none of that matters. Love doesn’t always make sense. I know you love him in spite of who he’s been and I love you. If you need a relationship with him then I want you to have it.”

  She held his face in her hands, “Blake, I need to do this and you need to let me. I don’t know what God is up to but I promise you something good will come from this. I have complete faith and trust.”

  “How can you be so confident in a God you’ve never seen?”

  “Because I know in my heart without a doubt that God is real and if this is the path He is leading me down then it’s up to Him to work it out.”

  He grabbed her and hugged her so tight she thought she would break.

  “I love you Jasmine. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you.”

  Amber came out and saw them. Her eyes locked with Jasmine’s tear-filled ones. Jasmine thought if looks could kill she would flat-line on the spot. She eased Blake back and wiped her face.

  “We should probably go in now and get this fight with your dad over with.”

  He smiled. She envied how men could hold their tears in check and women never seemed to be able to, or at least she couldn’t.

  He turned and saw Amber. She was tight lipped.

  “Hey baby,” he said oblivious to her anger as he walked up to her and hugged her.

  “My dad’s going to be okay.”

  She hugged him back not trusting herself to speak. Jasmine’s scent was all over him. He reached to open the door. She found her voice.

  “You should go talk to your dad. He isn’t as happy as you two seem to be.”

  “It’s expected,” Blake replied.

  “Could you give Jasmine and me just a minute or two,” Amber asked.

  He kissed her on the lips and walked in his dad’s room. Amber closed the door.

  Jasmine stood up and braced herself for Amber’s obvious ensuing confrontation. She was used to their friendship causing friction for Blake’s women but she was more than willing to calmly discuss this with her. Amber strode to her with purpose and a mean mug like none she had ever seen.

  “Jasmine, we need to discuss this friendship you have with my man. Every time I turn my back lately he is in your arms? I am sick of it. He’s mine. If you wanted him you should have decided that long before I came along because I am not just going to roll over and give him up.”

  The approach shocked Jasmine and infuriated her so she took a step back because she no longer trusted herself to take the high ground.

  “Amber, I realize that you have valid concerns. As a woman in her own relationship I sympathize with you, but only to an extent. You knew about our friendship long before the two of you got into a relationship. There is nothing going on between Blake and me. Understand that this situation is not a normal occurrence. I’m his best friend so there needs to be some understanding on your part as well. It’s just natural for him to come to me where his dad is concerned. You don’t know the history. The fact remains he loves you and he’s with you so why don’t you get your emotions in check.”

  She got in Jasmine’s face.

  “I don’t need to get my emotions in check. They’re justified. You need to get your behavior in check, it isn’t. I don’t care if you donate every organ in your body to his whole family, you are not his woman. I don’t care if you wrote the book on their family history. I don’t need you to comfort him. That’s my job. If you don’t back off I will make you back off.”

  That’s it. The gloves were off so Jasmine let her anger win over her better judgment. Jasmine got close enough to her until Amber was forced to take a step back.

  “You listen and you listen good. It’s not about what you need. It’s about what he needs. You need to accept the fact that he is in love with you. He’s already yours, but I promise you if you make him choose he will choose me and there won’t be a thing you can do about it. You can take that as gospel whether I give his father my kidney or not. Do not make history repeat itself. You cannot and will not take my place in his heart. We’re not even on the same level honey. I have a permanent residence in his heart. You currently rent space on the other side of his bed. I suggest you heed my advice because this is a battle you can’t win.”

  Jasmine cut her a look that could melt ice.

  Jasmine walked off thoroughly heated and left Amber infuriated to digest her advice. The ache in Amber’s heart was breathtaking because somewhere deep down in her gut she knew Jasmine’s words were gospel. She didn’t want to believe it and she couldn’t just walk away. Yes it was a fact that Blake loved her but the truth was he was in love with Jasmine and Amber was in love with him. There wasn’t a theory out there that could help her figure out this triangle. She wanted to scream.

  Chapter 17: Enough is Enough

  Jasmine stood at Frank’s room door for a few minutes to calm down. When she looked up Amber was still standing in the hall mad as hell. Jasmine didn’t care, she didn’t mean to go there, but some people just didn’t know when to stop. For God’s sake she didn’t want Blake.

  He was in love with Amber so she should just go be happy and leave her the hell alone. She wouldn’t tell Blake. He didn’t need two women he loved at each other’s throats. If Amber chose to tell him that was on her. The way she was feeling right now she was more than ready to face off with Frank.

  When she walked in Blake had his hands up in the air like he was exasperated. Dr. Williams look amused. She heard Lisa pleading.

  “Frank, can you just get over yourself. Why don’t you for once stop being so selfish. She is giving you a second chance at life. This isn’t just about you. It’s about your family. Don’t you get it, we love you? Do you have that much hate in your heart that you would die for it?”
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  Frank hated to see that pained look on his wife’s face. He loved her so much because she stayed when so many would have left him. The truth was he didn’t think he could handle any more guilt because he knew he had never done anything for that girl to feel obligated to help him.

  They hadn’t noticed her so Jasmine cleared her throat.

  “Guys why don’t you give me a minute alone with Frank.”

  Lisa looked down and gave Frank one last plea with her eyes. She hugged Jasmine.

  “Thank you baby, I don’t know how I will ever repay you for this. Thank you.”

  Jasmine tightened the embrace, “It’s not necessary.”

  Blake scooted her along, “Come on mom, let’s give them a moment.”

  Dr. Williams followed them out.

  Jasmine remained where she was and the look of pure fear in Frank’s eyes was more amusing than satisfying. What did he think she was going to do, smother him? She walked to his bed side. His eyes widened with uncertainty.

  “You can relax Frank. I’m not here to kill you.”

  She smiled a genuine smile hoping it would put him at ease.

  He croaked out, “Look Jasmine.”

  For some reason that one word melted some of her anger, he very rarely called her by her name.

  “No Frank you look. I’m not here to pretend or play games with you. For the record, you don’t like me because you’re a racist prick. I don’t like you because you’re a racist prick, but we both love Blake.”

  She could swear a smirk tried to form on his lips.

  “Yeah that’s right, I know in that teeny, tiny heart of yours there is love for your kid even if he doesn’t know it. I can’t imagine what’s going through your head. But I’m guessing you’re trying to figure out my motive. Now I admit I had some very shady thoughts for a short period of time. Yeah, I’m going to give you my kidney even though you tried to beat it out of me.”

  She paused to check her emotions that sprang up with the memory.

  “The real reason I’m doing this is for love.” Frank looked puzzled. “You can relax, I’m not saying that I love you, but I do love your son and he loves you very much. All he has ever wanted was a relationship with you.”

  She was shocked to see his eyes swim with unshed tears. She said a silent thank you Jesus.

  “I tell you what. I will make you a deal. There is only one way that you can repay me for my organ. If you renege on me, I will just have to take it back and don’t think I won’t Frank.”

  This time he did smile. He was beside himself to find that he understood why Blake cared so much about her. The girl was fearless.

  He managed, “What’s the deal?”

  “You have to swear to me that you will genuinely form a relationship with your son. You will also put whatever hate you have for me aside and get to know me as a person before you decide you don’t like me because no matter what you do Blake and I will always be friends. In order for you to have a complete relationship with him he needs to know that you can at least be civil and respect his choice to be my friend.”

  He couldn’t stop the tears from falling now. Being face to face with the angel of death had a way of putting things into perspective. This young child could not possibly understand the horror he endured that made him the way he is now and he wouldn’t want her to. He wouldn’t want anybody to. He was tired of the guilt, he was tired of the pain and he wanted to stop hating himself. His family deserved better. Jasmine deserved better. She could have practically been a daughter to him if he’d ever allowed her to be.

  Jasmine was stunned. She didn’t expect this reaction. Once again she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. To traumatize her even more Frank reached out and grabbed her hand. At his touch something incredible ran through her. She didn’t know how to explain it but she felt that this very moment was miraculous.

  He reached up with great effort to wipe a tear from her face. She could see the mix of joy and pain on his face. She just stared in amazement. Was she in the twilight zone?

  He said, “I am so sorry for everything. You have my word. I promise.”

  With those words, she released the breath she had been holding since he started crying. His words gave her hope beyond reason that after all these years Blake’s heart wouldn’t be forced to war with itself over how to love the people in his life. She got some tissue off the table beside the bed and gently wiped the tears from his face.

  “I gotta leave you with your dignity Frank. I won’t tell anyone you broke down.”

  Somehow he knew she wouldn’t and that simple act of kindness and understanding broke something in him. Something ugly that he thought he would always have to live with. At that moment he was so grateful for her it scared him.

  “Well I don’t know about you but I’m all done with tears for today. Don’t worry. We will have plenty of time to work on our new friendship, but be warned it’s inevitable that you will fall head over heels in love with me so get ready to shock yourself.”

  He didn’t think he would fall in love with her but he did think he could learn to sincerely like her. He managed a sad little chuckle. She let out a big laugh for them both.

  “Now you be on your best behavior Frank and I’ll let the others in. No more tears okay.”

  He nodded. She went to let his family back into the room.

  Chapter 18: Open the Flood Gates

  Jasmine headed home to talk to her roommates. She also had to call her parents. Oh dear Jesus, she hadn’t told Derrick. Jasmine, how could you be so stupid? She didn’t think they would schedule the surgery the day after the results. She thought she would have more time. She couldn’t just call him and blurt it out though.

  When she pulled into their driveway she took out her cell and sent him a text that she needed to talk to him and it was important. She said she would see him when he got there hoping that would deter him from calling.

  They had been at odds for the last week or two and hadn’t really been communicating with any consistency. She hoped he would come to her house because she felt she needed home court advantage for this one.

  When she walked in the house she was not surprised to see everyone at the table staring at her.

  “Lucy, I asked you not to tell them until I got home.”

  “You are really not in any position to pass judgment right now Jazzy, so come on and have a seat.”

  Jasmine rolled her eyes, dropped her bag on the sofa table by the door and headed to have a seat. She took a seat next to Ahmed. He was the least likely to hit her. She was tired, she was emotionally drained and she still had yet to deal with her parents and Derrick. She put her head on Ahmed’s shoulder. He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead.

  Damon said, “So, let me get this straight. You got tested to see if you were a kidney match for Blake’s dad even though he hates you. You kept it from all the people that care about you and who will likely have to help you through your recovery process only to tell them one day before the knife ceremony begins. And because of this they don’t have time to take off from work to be there with you. Does that about cover it?”

  She squirmed again.

  “You guys, I’m sorry. This is just something I had to deal with on my own. I didn’t make this decision lightly. I didn’t even tell Blake, so don’t feel slighted like you missed out on a big juicy secret!”

  Carmen asked, “Is that supposed to make us feel better? Jasmine, you are having major surgery tomorrow and couldn’t be bothered to tell the people who live in the same house with you?”

  Jasmine was so over all of this. Dr. Williams was right. She could not prepare herself for the emotional toll this would take on her. She hadn’t even been cut yet and it was a little overwhelming.

  Before she could respond Blake and Amber came through the door. All heads turned and Jasmine sat up and noticed Amber still wanted to scratch her eyes out by the steely look she gave her. At this point she was not above slapping her. She needed a
release. If Amber wanted to volunteer to give it to her by opening her mouth then so be it. Blake would just have to deal. She was being pulled in too many directions emotionally.

  Blake was all smiles.

  “Hey guys. Good, you’re all here. Did Jaz tell you? I haven’t been in this good of a mood in a while.”

  He walked up behind Jasmine’s chair and hugged her then kissed her cheek.

  He said, “You are the best thing that ever happened to me beautiful.”

  Jasmine’s eyes met Amber’s and Jasmine wasn’t shocked to see her trembling with anger. The only person who missed it was Blake because his face was buried in Jasmine’s hair. Jasmine smirked as if to say, “I told you so.” She regretted it the moment she did it though. Her temper was a nasty one that she wasn’t always proud of.

  When Blake finally released her he said to Amber, “Hey babe, grab a seat and I’ll get you a beer. I probably owe you a foot massage for being with me at the hospital all day.”

  He never looked at her face. If he had his state of bliss would have fizzled into nothing.

  Carmen’s loyalty was without a doubt to Jasmine. However she felt so bad for Amber because everyone at the table knew Jasmine and Blake were in love with each other except for Jasmine and Blake.

  It wasn’t anything physical. It was a perfect intimacy that not many people found. To her way of thinking that was worse than any physical act of infidelity. Time, space and probably even death couldn’t separate their bond.

  As long as they had known each other there had never been another woman that could hold a candle to Jasmine in Blake’s heart. When Amber came as close as she did Carmen thought that maybe he and Jasmine would remain just friends, but now she didn’t know.

  They were like opposing magnets. It didn’t matter how far they were apart or who was standing in between they always found each other. She felt the pity for Amber stir in her belly and that made her think of Derrick.

  Carmen asked, “Jasmine what does Derrick think about all of this?”