They all laughed.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you guys, I love Blake more than I have ever loved another human being but in a strictly platonic way.”
Lucy said, “Well, we should get out of here and let you get yourself together. You have quite the big day tomorrow.”
They each gave her a hug. After she thanked them for letting her lean on them, they left her.
Chapter 21: Boys Will Be Boys
Sitting at the table Blake was still upset. He didn’t appreciate the way Amber came at him about Jasmine. What more did the girl want? He was all hers. She was not about to dictate to him who his friends were going to be. He also didn’t know what the hell was up with Derrick but he was always willing to step outside and handle whatever issue he was having with him.
Damon asked, “Man what the heck is going on? I know all of this drama cannot be over a surgery for your dad?”
“Man, Amber pulls me outside to ruin my mood and out of the blue asks me to choose between her and Jasmine. I mean what the hell?”
Ahmed felt bad for him. He was stuck between a rock and his heart but he couldn’t say he was surprised to hear it.
Damon asked, “Well can you blame her?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Damon shook his head.
“It means what I asked. How you expect the girl to feel when you hug and kiss Jasmine right in front of her and tell her she is the best thing that ever happened to you?”
Blake was about to defend himself when the gravity of what he had done hit him. He muttered his favorite expletive.
Damon said, “Exactly. Man that girl has a right to feel how she feels.”
“I am not cheating on her with Jasmine,” Blake argued defensively.”
Ahmed’s calm voice said, “Yeah you are.”
Blake looked at him in disbelief.
“Jaz and I have never even kissed let alone done anything else. Besides I don’t even see her like that and if you haven’t noticed she kinda has a preference for black men.”
Damon shook his head.
Ahmed said, “Blake, it’s not about sex. It’s about the fact that Jasmine comes before Amber and always will. You’re in a relationship with her but she’s not first.”
Blake swallowed hard.
“Jasmine has been a constant in my life ever since I can remember. I can’t just walk away from her and I can’t change what she’s been to me either. I love Amber and I want to be with her but she has to accept Jasmine as a part of my life.”
Damon added, “If you and Jasmine just admit what y’all feel for each other then all this mess would be done and over with.”
Blake threw his hands up in exasperation. He was so over people telling him what he and Jasmine felt for each other. They never kept secret what they felt for each other. Isn’t that why everybody was tripping now?
He said, “I’ve never lied about what I feel for Jasmine but everyone else doesn’t think it can stop there. They think it has to go beyond that to the physical and it doesn’t.”
Ahmed asked, “So you can honestly sit here and say you’re not attracted to Jasmine?”
Damon laughed, “Hell no he can’t. Jasmine gives off that exotic vibe. She is hot!”
Blake laughed, “Guys don’t get me wrong. I think Jasmine is beautiful but I don’t see her like that. I mean, I think all our girls are beautiful.”
Damon said, “Yep! Carmen is sexy because she doesn’t know how hot she really is.”
Ahmed agreed and said, “Lucy’s hot too but she’s so tiny you might break her.”
Damon laughed and pounded Ahmed’s fist.
Blake said, “Um, can we focus.”
They both laughed again.
“Jasmine is the girl that always steals and wears my sweats. She’s the girl that used to run around and play every sport, climb every tree and go on every single stupid adventure I could think of. We did everything together. I loved her because she was fearless. She’s not a whiny girl and she’s not afraid of her own shadow. Anything I could do, she tried to do better. I see Jasmine as just one of my boys. With really nice tits, now those I have noticed,” he laughed.
Damon laughed, “Okay you see her as your homie. I can understand that white boys are breast men, but Jasmine’s got a booty that crosses all racial and friendship lines.”
Blake laughed, “Um, I’m not really into that sort of thing.”
“Man whatever, you ain’t gotta be into that to take notice of it when it’s in your face. Besides, trust me when I say you can learn to get into that.” Blake choked on his beer. “All those times y’all have slept in the same bed together, nothing?”
Blake raised his right hand as if to swear, “Nothing.”
He received looks that said they didn’t believe him, but it didn’t matter because he was telling the truth.
“Well a black man, or should I say a half black man, couldn’t always be around that without being tempted to his put hands on it,” Damon said.
Ahmed said, “A Middle Eastern man either.”
They all laughed.
“Jasmine and I didn’t sleep in the same bed often as adults and we don’t do it anymore. We’re in relationships. We don’t purposely try to disrespect the other’s relationship. It’s all about perception.”
“I catch y’all asleep pretty often on the couch,” Ahmed said.
Blake shook his head, he just couldn’t win.
Ahmed continued, “On quite a few occasions I come home late and find you two lying on the couch. Jasmine’s head is on your chest and you have one arm wrapped around her and your other hand in her hair. I’m just saying it looks like a lover’s embrace to me.”
“If I was Derrick I would whip yo white behind for always having your hands in my woman’s hair,” Damon chided.
Blake reluctantly admitted, “I love Jasmine’s hair. That is one of the things that fascinated me about her when we were kids. Now I will admit, I have a thing for her curls and I love playing in her hair but I swear it’s innocent.”
They stared at him because that answer wasn’t satisfactory.
Blake said, “Okay, so here is the real scoop, again it’s something from our childhood. Damon you know all the crap I went through with my dad in high school. Well trust me it started a lot earlier and it was a lot worse. Whenever I was upset playing in Jaz’s hair calmed me down, and that’s how we would fall asleep. I guess old habits die hard. I will try to be more conscious of my actions.”
“So what are you going to do about Amber,” Damon asked?
“I don’t know. I guess we will all have to sit down and come to some sort of compromise because I love Amber and I want to be with her.”
Ahmed asked, “Does Derrick give her any grief about you?”
“Not to my knowledge. He did ask me if I thought Jasmine would say yes if he proposed a few months ago. I told him to go for it but after tonight I don’t know if that’s still on the table.”
Damon eyed him suspiciously and asked, “So just between us, if you had to choose who would it be?”
The answer hit his heart instantly as well as his head, Jasmine. The answer didn’t disturb him but he did wonder what it meant exactly. He couldn’t dwell on that now. Instead of flat out lying to them, he simply shrugged.
Chapter 22: A Change is Gonna Come
Jasmine felt very vulnerable as she lay in the hospital gown in the bed awaiting them to wheel her into prep for surgery. She was extremely nervous and had spent every spare minute praying for God to make everything alright.
Her initial thoughts about this didn’t lead her to how many people would actually be affected by her decision. Her mom had nearly disowned her saying how stupid she was and how she was ruining her future with a man who loved her by making a selfish decision for someone who couldn’t care less about her.
Derrick revealed parts of himself to her that she didn’t like. Her best friends were breathing down her neck about som
e fictional fantasy they had about her and Blake becoming a couple. Amber was ready to actually fight her and over Blake of all people. Her world was spinning so far out of control she didn’t know which way was up or down.
“God, I’m trusting you to bring me out on the other side victorious, and could you please touch Frank’s heart and un-harden it. Heal him of whatever pain he is dealing with.”
Her prayer was cut short as her dad came into her room. She had an hour before surgery and this was the time she got to spend with her family, though she didn’t exactly think anyone would be coming.
She smiled at her handsome father, “Hi daddy!”
“Hey baby girl. How you doing?”
She wanted to cry but didn’t.
“I’m holding it down daddy. I’m alright.”
“Baby, you need to know there are some things you don’t understand that your mama is going through. I promise you soon we will all sit down and talk about this and even though she is being stubborn and didn’t come in protest, she’s been texting me every two seconds asking about you.”
Jasmine smiled, “Thanks daddy. Can I ask you something?”
“What is it honey?”
“I know my walk with God is only a couple years old, but if he told me to do this why is it so hard? Why is everybody I love mad at me?”
Her father sighed the sigh of man who had been through many battles and lived to tell about them.
“Baby, if this is what God told you to do then you can’t let what you feel based on what you see determine your faith in God. If you know this is God then you need to know the enemy is not happy about whatever God is working out. He will throw every curve ball at you to make you doubt. But you must never doubt that God will come through. You won’t always understand while you’re in the storm, but when you’re out of it God’s hand will reveal itself to you more clearly than anything you have ever seen.”
His words were like a soothing salve to an aching wound.
“Okay daddy, I know this is what I’m supposed to do so I won’t be moved.”
He kissed her forehead.
There was a knock at the door. Derrick stepped in carrying a bouquet of pink snapdragons, her favorite. Her father could see she was genuinely shocked to see him and decided to make himself scarce.
“I’ll be here when you get back. I love you.”
“Love you too daddy, and thanks.”
Derrick exchanged greetings with Justin as he exited. He handed her the flowers and despite her desire to stay mad at him she sniffed them. He pulled a chair to her bedside and took a seat. She refused to speak first. He grabbed her hand. She laid the flowers down on the table next to the bed.
“Jasmine, I don’t know what to say. Sorry doesn’t seem appropriate, but I am. I had some time to think when I cooled off and to be honest this is just like you. I know you couldn’t live with yourself if you let him die because of his feelings. You always have to do the right thing no matter what it costs you. That’s not a bad thing but sometimes it’s a tough pill to swallow. Loving someone who loves as hard as you has its downsides. I don’t know what your reasons for doing this is and I’m not really sure they would matter because I still wouldn’t want you to do it. But I accept that it’s not my choice to make. The way I distanced myself from you after you cut off the sex I guess I can’t blame you for not having me on speed dial. Realizing there was a chance I could lose you made me come to my senses very quickly.”
He sighed like he had a heavy burden on his heart.
“Jasmine, the bottom line is I love you very much and I want to be with you. I want to work this out. I want a future with you. I know there are some things we need to work out but I’m willing to make the sacrifices if you are?”
She didn’t cry. She was all cried out for the moment but said, “Thank you for being here. I appreciate you being honest with me. I love you too. I really do hope we can work out our differences and find our way back to each other.”
He stood to kiss her. The kiss was full of passion and she could feel the love he felt for her in it, but she was scared that something had been broken and she didn’t know if it could be fixed. She would try her best to make the sacrifices though because she really wanted to be with him. He broke the kiss and stared into her eyes.
Another knock at the door produced Blake. He could tell he was interrupting a private moment and was about to excuse himself. Derrick saw the way Jasmine’s face lit up at the sight of Blake and suddenly he wanted out of the room. Blake spoke. Derrick just nodded.
As Blake headed to Jasmine’s side Derrick twisted the rod on the blinds to open them slightly because he wanted to see with his own eyes just what was between his woman and this man. He knew they were close but lately he had the feeling they were a lot closer than he originally thought.
Blake and Jasmine were none the wiser that not only was Derrick standing at the window but so was Amber. As always their complete attention was focused on each other. Blake sat in the chair Derrick had just vacated and grabbed Jasmine’s hand.
“Hey beautiful. How you doing?”
“I’m a little nervous but I’m okay. How’s your dad?”
“He’s actually doing well. He’s in a much better mood than normal.”
She was glad to hear it.
“Looks like I sorta, maybe made up with Derrick.”
They laughed.
“Well I went over to Amber’s late last night or should I say this morning. We are not seeing eye-to-eye but we’re definitely making progress.”
She swatted his shoulder.
“Your nasty behind went over there and sexed the poor girl out.”
He laughed.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I will say for the moment I am back in her good graces.”
He wiggled his eyebrows mischievously and made her laugh. Out of habit he began to stroke her curls. She put her hand on his face.
“What is it love,” she asked.
He smiled that crooked smile she loved.
“You know, sometimes it’s annoying how well you know me.”
She laughed, “Spit it out. I know there is a confession on that tongue of yours.”
“Jasmine, I love you so much. I can’t imagine loving you more, but then you do something like this and it staggers me. What did I ever do to deserve to have you in my life?”
This time she did cry. Blake wiped her tears with his thumb and then kissed her nose. He kissed the palm of the hand he held.
She said, “I’m familiar with the feeling.”
He grinned.
She asked, “Wanna hear a secret?”
He laughed remembering when they were nine years old.
“Sure.”
She whispered, “You’re my favorite person in the whole world.”
He gave her a wide toothy grin that made her laugh.
“Okay, seriously B enough with the mushy stuff. What are we gonna do about Amber?”
“Uh what are we going to do about Derrick?”
She rolled her eyes, “Derrick isn’t trying to fight you.”
He wasn’t so sure about that but he didn’t want to upset her so he kept that to himself. He didn’t want to talk about this but he knew Jasmine was trying to clear her conscience before her operation.
“I don’t know Jaz. If I give her what she wants I’m unhappy and if I don’t then she’s unhappy.”
“I hate that you guys are fighting because of me. I guess she told you about our altercation.”
He narrowed his gaze.
“Yeah she did and did you have to go there Jaz?”
“In my defense Blake I tried to take the high road but she actually got in my face and threatened me. You know my temper.”
He sighed, because he knew the minute Amber challenged her Jasmine made sure to shut her down and to shut her down hard. Jasmine hated to lose an argument. When she was pushed, Jasmine’s words could pack a bigger punch than the right hook he’d taug
ht her.
“I don’t know what else we can do. It’s not like we hang out a lot now,” Jasmine said.
“Jaz, you’re going to be in recovery for the next few weeks. I’m not going to leave you now.”
“Blake, you are not the only person who can help take care of me.”
“Jaz, you’ve always been my responsibility?”
“Your girlfriend is desperately screaming for your attention and she needs to be your responsibility. I need to be Derrick’s. This isn’t high school or our first crushes and Amber is not Melissa. This is the first woman who you actually made a commitment to since high school. I can’t just let you throw that away.”
He let out a deep breath. He knew she was right. They had to do something until their significant others felt secure. He realized letting go of her would be harder than he could ever imagine. How do you trust just anybody with what was most precious to you? He laid his head on her stomach and looked up at her.
“Promise me I won’t completely lose you Jasmine. If you make it an official promise I know I can trust it.”
She always knew the day would come when they would have to share their lives with others, but the thought of losing him was a pain she wasn’t prepared for. She stroked his hair away from his face as he closed his eyes.
“I promise.”
She sat up and laid a lingering kiss on his temple.
Blake asked, “Hey how come you always kiss me on my temple?”
Jasmine smiled, “I don’t know but I’m doing it now so I’ll always be on your mind and you won’t forget me since we’re breaking up.”
She tried to bring humor into the situation but it didn’t work. Neither of them could find it funny. The pain of their separation was just beginning.
∞∞∞
Amber was fit to be tied as she stormed away from the window. She couldn’t hear their conversation but their body language spoke volumes. When she walked into the waiting area she saw Jasmine’s father and immediately turned to head back and ran into Derrick.
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