Chapter 41: From Now until Forever
Five days later, Blake and Jasmine were sitting on the side of the bed in a hotel room. She was wearing a satin white night gown and he was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. Jasmine was nervous and digging her toes into the plush carpet.
She asked, “So do you have protection?”
“No, I don’t want there to be anything between us tonight.”
She nodded.
He said, “I’ve actually never done this without protection, this will be the first time.”
Her head popped up, “Are you serious?”
He nodded.
“Really, I mean even with Amber?”
He put his right hand up, “I swear.”
“Wow, well that’s interesting.”
He asked, “What about you?”
“Oh after that disaster of my first time I never left home without it.”
“Are you on birth control?”
She shook her head, “There was no point once I chose to abstain.”
She shrugged her shoulders.
“So that means you could get pregnant tonight.”
She asked, “And how do you feel about that?”
He grabbed her hand and ran his finger over the wedding band she now wore along with her engagement ring.
“Well Jaz you are my wife now and nothing would make me happier than to have a child with you.”
Jasmine and Blake had gone to Vegas for the weekend and eloped. The only people who knew were their roommates. They were tired of letting other people’s feelings dictate their relationship or prevent them from the happiness they knew they deserved that could only be found with each other.
Jasmine asked, “So you really don’t care if I get pregnant.”
“No I don’t, Jaz. I told you I’m ready for this, all of this. There is no way I’m using a condom with my wife on my wedding night. So whatever happens let it happen. I mean how cute would our kid be? A little baby with my blue eyes and your wild curly hair and skin somewhere in between ours would be perfection. To know that our love created that would be the ultimate validation.”
She smiled, “You never cease to amaze me.”
He kissed her nose.
She wondered, “Don’t you think it’s crazy that we know just about everything there is to know about each other but we have no idea about this kinda stuff?”
“Well there was never a need to know any of it.”
“I have a confession to make. I’m nervous, like really nervous right now,” Jasmine said.
“Why?”
“Why aren’t you?”
“Well, I mean, I have a few reservations but I’m not nervous anymore because I remembered I’m actually quite good at this.”
She laughed, “My, aren’t we arrogant.”
“I prefer the term confident.”
She rolled her eyes. He noticed her hand trembled slightly.
He said, “Hey, you really are nervous.”
“Uh didn’t I just say that?”
He stood up, “Come here.”
She stood.
“Tell me why you’re nervous and be honest.”
She hesitated and he gently lifted her chin to look her in the eyes.
“Blake, I’m not the type of woman you’re into. What if you don’t like what you see?”
He relaxed, “Oh is that what this is about? Jaz, trust me when I tell you I have never wanted anyone more. I’m looking forward to getting to know your body like I know your heart. You are beautiful and I love all your curves. I’m trying to figure out why it took me so long to appreciate them.”
She tried to smile.
He asked, “Do I have to kiss you all over your body like I did your nose to let you know that it’s perfect?”
She laughed as he’d hoped she would.
He pulled her into him, “Dance with me beautiful?”
“But there’s no music.”
He laid her head against his chest.
“Just listen to my heart then. It beats for you.”
Jasmine closed her eyes as Blake swayed them to the rhythm of his heartbeat. He stroked her back and she started to relax. She started to let all of her fears and worries dissipate as she enjoyed being in his arms. After a while she felt herself being lifted and then Blake laid her on the bed. She felt him slipping her out of her gown. She couldn’t believe this moment was finally here.
Blake said, “Look at me gorgeous.”
She opened her eyes.
He said, “I love you.”
“I love you.”
He kissed her nose and then her lips. She fisted her hands in his hair letting everything go except her husband and this moment. Blake shifted his body and put his weight on Jasmine.
He asked, “Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
He kissed her passionately. When he joined their bodies they both gasped. It seemed like time stopped. They stared at each other frozen in the moment. Jasmine had never felt anything like it and the tears spilled out from the pleasure.
He whispered, “Am I hurting you?”
She shook her head.
“Am I too heavy for you?”
She shook her head and said, “It’s a…”
“Perfect fit,” he finished her thought.
She nodded. He kissed her again and began their first dance of love.
Blake took his precious time loving his new wife. He wanted this to be a night they would never forget. He explored everything he didn’t know about this woman that he loved so dearly. As she experienced the dance Jasmine was drowning in the pleasure he gave her over and over and over again.
Blake stared down at his wife and was rewarded by the gratification on her face. The glow of her skin was breathtaking. He studied the contrast of their flesh and it didn’t bother him anymore. It was comforting to see it now as he let all of his reservations about it go.
It felt so amazing to know she was his in every way a woman could belong to a man. The mere thought that he got to spend the rest of his life with her, pleasing her, protecting her and making her happy made him feel favored by God himself. He knew what a precious gift she was and that this moment was priceless. The fulfillment she gave him was unlike anything he had ever experienced.
Jasmine was astounded by the connection she felt to her husband, mind, body and soul. Nothing could separate them now. Their dance felt like it had been divinely choreographed from the beginning of eternity. She wanted him to feel what she felt. She wanted him to give himself to her in every way she had given herself to him. She grabbed his face, his eyes bore into hers.
She whispered, “I’ll always be yours and no one else’s.”
Her words were the perfect finale to the dance. Knowing and believing that he would never have to give her up made him lose the tiny grip he had on his control. She ran her hand through his hair and kissed his temple gently causing goose bumps to saturate his flesh. He buried his face in her neck and let go as her name gently danced off his lips.
Jasmine held on to Blake as tight as she could while he trembled in her arms. She never wanted to let him go. After his breathing slowed and he gained back control of his limbs he placed soft kisses all over her face and then shifted to lay behind her. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around her.
She asked, “Oh so you like to cuddle huh?”
“Uh, not really. I never did before. You’re the only woman I’ve ever really wanted to hold. I’m just not quite ready to let you go yet.”
She smiled, “I know the feeling.”
“Jaz, that was amazing. I will never buy another condom again.”
She chuckled, “I know, I guess you have earned the right to be arrogant. I feel so free and satisfied.”
He whispered in her ear, “Next time I’ll go for four.”
She smiled, “You were counting?”
“I aim to please. I need to keep my stats up.”
“Boy you are so silly.”
He stroked her belly.<
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He said, “I’m really kind of hoping we made a baby tonight.
“Really, why is that?”
“Every kid should be conceived out of this kind of love. Though there is something that I’ve been thinking about since we had that talk with the guys.”
“What’s that baby?”
“What if we have a son and he looks like Damon then will I have to live with the fear you do every day for the men in your life? Will I have to wonder if my kid is going to make it home? How do I tell him that even though he’s my son when we walk down the street together people will judge me one way and him another? Will he pull away from me because I don’t know what it’s like to be him?”
Jasmine grabbed his face, “Baby, the fact that you even considered that makes me love you even more. We will just have to cross those bridges when we get there. I tell you what though. If you love your children with half the effort you love me they will never pull away from that kind of unconditional love no matter what the outside world is telling them.”
He smiled, appreciating her so much in that moment, “I love you baby.”
She grinned, “Blake I’m so unbelievably happy right now.”
“It does seem like a dream doesn’t it?”
“Too bad it will only last for a couple of days?”
“I know. What are we going to do about those parents of ours? They are going to freak. My dad and your mom are probably going to disown us. My mom and your dad will be eternally indignant because I think they wanted this more than we did. They didn’t get to be a part of our wedding.”
“Well you know what, we can have a formal wedding when we get this all straightened out. I’ve been thinking about it and I think I have an idea.”
“I am all ears.”
Jasmine said, “You remember when I went to hang out with my cousin Tameka in Tallahassee for homecoming a few years back.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, my cousin took me to her church. I think it’s called Kingdom Builders or something.”
“That’s when you decided to give your life to Christ right?”
“Yeah it was. It was something about that church, something was different. The first thing that drew me in was the music. The songs were so powerful but I had never heard any of them before. When I asked Tameka she said their minister of music, Seth, wrote almost all the songs they sang. After church she introduced me to him so that I could tell him how one of his songs prompted me to give my life to Christ.”
“Uh Jaz, what does church songs have to do with getting our parents to come to their senses.”
She smiled.
“Shhh. I’m getting to that. So when I met him I also met his wife. Her name was Sheridan. We got to talking and I asked her what she did. She told me she was a psychologist. That made me curious because I asked her did she include Christian principles in her counseling and she said yes, that her practice was faith based.”
“Okay, you want our parents to go see a church shrink.”
“No I want all six of us to go and see a Christian counselor.”
He stared at her for a long moment.
“Why do you think we need to see a psychologist?”
“Because you told me yourself your dad said there was a reason why he was the way that he is but he wasn’t ready to deal with it. Right before my surgery my dad said my mom had issues that she hadn’t dealt with. I’ve been praying about this and I think those two have some deep rooted issues that go back to way before we were even a thought. Until we get to the bottom of that we can’t have any real peace between us.”
He propped himself up on his elbow.
“Okay, I’m not thrilled about going to see a shrink but how do you suppose we get my dad of all people to go see one.”
“Okay, see that’s the part that will get a little tricky. I’ve been thinking about this. The only thing I think will work with absolutely no resistance is for us to threaten them.”
He laughed.
“Jasmine you’re funny. So what are we going to do, hold them at gunpoint and make them go?”
She hit him.
“No. We are going to tell them that we will no longer be a part of their lives unless they agree for all of us to get counseling.”
He frowned.
She continued, “To really pull their heart strings we will tell them that grandbabies are inevitable but as long as they refuse to work out our differences we cannot subject our kids to that kind of discord.”
He blew out a breath.
“Wow Jaz, that’s dirty.”
“I know that’s why it’s going to work. We have to make them see they are risking everything to hold on to the past. Your father needs to know he will be jeopardizing his new relationship with you and any future relationship with his grandchildren. I think your mother will be the key.”
“What do you mean?”
“She has wanted this relationship practically from birth. If she can’t enjoy us being together she will make your father’s life miserable until he agrees.”
“You got a point. Your dad will draw the line as soon as he knows there’s a baby in the picture and he will insist your mom goes.”
“We both know when my dad makes a decision that’s the final word on the matter.”
He asked, “So do we recruit my mom and your dad as co-conspirators first or do we wait to see if we will need to?”
She thought about it for a moment.
“Let’s wait and see if we need help. First, we’re just going to ask them to go.”
“So when do you plan on doing this?”
“Well honey, I’m glad you asked. I contacted her office last week. She called me back. She agreed that we needed an entire afternoon, a four hour session.”
“Why do I feel like you’ve already made this appointment?”
“Because you know me so well. The appointment is in a month.”
He shook his head, “Jaz, you are a mess.”
“Baby just trust me, this is going work. I just need you to have my back on this.”
“I’ve always got your back. You know that, no matter what.”
“Have a little faith baby. God has brought us this far. He won’t leave us now.”
He lay back down and turned her so that they were facing each other.
He began, “Speaking of how far God has brought us, I need to tell you something important.”
She didn’t like the way his face got all serious all of a sudden.
“Baby what is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I just made a decision that I need to tell you about.”
Nervously she said, “Oh okay.”
“Jasmine you know I think you’re an amazing person. I always have. But ever since your operation I’ve been noticing something very different about you. I have been paying attention to your faith in God. Watching your life I’ve come to the conclusion that He must be real. I’ve finally found the faith to believe. I still struggle with some aspects of Christianity but I know for a fact God is real. It’s really real to me because you are so not a perfect person. You’re flawed and you’re mean and you’re stubborn when you cannot get your way.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. He smiled.
“But for me that’s the beauty of it. Even though you’re not perfect He still loves you. It’s very obvious from your life that He does. I see you work every day to be a better person. I see how your life has changed others. God has to really care about you to do all this stuff in your life just because you chose to give Him your life. What happened with you and my dad and what’s happening with me and my dad I know without a doubt was nothing but a miracle. I wanna be the best possible man I can be for you. I realized that I can’t do that if I don’t have a relationship with Jesus.”
She gasped and silent tears fell down her face.
He continued, “You know I don’t really get all caught up in church but I remember you telling me a long time ago that when I was
ready I could give my life to Christ wherever I was. I’ve been reading my Bible a couple times a week and some things are beginning to be clear for me. I wanted to do it before we got married so yesterday when you were at the salon getting your hair done, which I’ve now ruined,” she gave a watery laugh.
“I sat down in my room and had a conversation with God. I asked Him to forgive me of all my sins and for His son to come into my heart. I asked Him to make me a better man so I could be everything you needed me to be and to help me give you the life you’ve always dreamed of having.”
Her tears continued to spill. He wiped them.
“It’s hard to explain but I know that I wasn’t alone in that room. There was this warmth that spread across my chest that I just can’t explain. I knew He heard me and accepted me with open arms. You remember when you said He was trying to get my attention?”
She nodded.
“Well, He got it. I didn’t even realize He was using all these obstacles in my life to talk to me. So when we get back home, I want to start going to church with you. I also want us to pray together. You can help me study the Bible until I get better at it.”
She stared at him in shock and awe. The rush of emotions that surrounded her was too much to keep inside. This is what God meant about blessings that would overtake you. She had been praying for Blake’s salvation for years. Now she was married and more in love than she ever thought she could be. God had given her so much more than she could have ever imagined. When she found her voice she hugged him tight.
“Oh baby, I love you. Thank you, thank you so much. You don’t know the kind of peace you’ve just given me. Thank you Lord, thank you so much for hearing and answering my prayers.”
Blake lifted her head and smiled his crooked smile that made her heart melt.
“You know what? You are so beautiful when you cry happy tears.”
She wiped her tears away and smiled.
“I feel so blessed right now. I just don’t have the words to show my appreciation.”
“Then show me without words.”
Her eyebrow arched, “You know what, salvation is really sexy on you.”
He laughed hard.
“Only you Jasmine would say something like that.”
“I hope you got your second wind because you’re gonna need it.”
Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1) Page 28