WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN

by Bonnie K. Winn

  "In D.C."

  Barbara kept from choking on her candy bar with an effort. Who did he know to get that coveted position? One every law student in the country would kill for? She fiddled with the wrapper on her candy bar. "Where'd you go to law school?"

  "Harvard."

  "Undergraduate?" she asked carefully.

  "Harvard, as well. It seemed easier to stay put."

  Right. The man had apparently aced his way through the most prestigious school in the country and he made light of the experience. She knew she was facing tough competition, but this was formidable even for her. Suddenly she was curious. She simply wanted to know more about him. "Where are you from, Gerrard?"

  His brows lifted at her change of address, but he didn't comment. "Spent a lot of time on the East Coast going to school."

  She wiped her hands against the grass, then hugged her knees. "Before then?"

  "Beach bum mostly."

  Cocking her head, she studied him. Despite his engaging grin, she suspected that he was far too intense to be content occupying his mind with only a surfboard and sand. She couldn't keep the light sarcasm from her voice. "Yeah, I hear that's how most people prepare for Harvard."

  His eyes shifted and she had the uncanny feeling that he was concealing something, but his voice was even. "I didn't spend all my time at the library, either. Sure, I cracked the books to keep up my grade point average, but I didn't give up everything else."

  He said that as though he thought she had, and for some reason that stung. Seeing how smoothly sophisticated he was, she easily believed that he had had a very well-rounded upbringing. But he seemed reluctant to divulge much about himself. Which made her want to learn all that more about him.

  She leaned back, turning on the questions. "So, do you have someone waiting back home?"

  "Not really."

  "No girlfriend?"

  His lips eased into a grin as he realized she was repeating his own interrogation nearly verbatim.

  "Fiancée?"

  "Nope."

  "And since men don't change last names when they marry, I can't begin to guess if Gerrard's your maiden name."

  "Touché, Counselor."

  She continued without missing a beat. "Actually, I was just fishing and you fell for the bait."

  He held up his hands in surrender. "You worry me, Barbara. Are you this good in court, too? Should I be sending back to the office for reinforcements?"

  She shrugged. "I can keep up pretty well." She paused for effect. "Without threatening to throw opposing counsel into the nearest lake."

  His grin broadened, sending a strange feeling tripping through her midsection. "It's good to see you finally making a mistake. You were the one who threatened to dunk me."

  "Ah. But you're the one who needs dunking."

  His eyes darkened and she felt a corresponding heat. "You could be right. But are you ready to take on the task?"

  Birds sang in the stillness, reminding her of just how isolated they were. A whisper of wind teased the aspens and pushed through the giant firs, releasing a tangy pine scent.

  Feeling an unaccustomed attack of nervousness, Barbara latched on to her can of soda as she tried to feign a lack of concern. "Really, Gerrard, you're so dramatic."

  He moved fast for a large man. In less time than it took to raise the can to her lips, he was at her side, his face inches from hers. She sucked in a breath and forgot to release it. She was used to men who played politely, safely. She sensed he was anything but safe. Dangerous came to mind.

  Dangerous and determined.

  Especially when his breath eased over her lips and his hands shot out to trap her against the tree. Her stare riveted on the shape of his lips, the mustache that curved over them. She remembered how his mouth had fit against hers, the electrifying reaction she'd experienced.

  Suddenly afraid to repeat that mistake, she jerked away, feeling instead the imprint of his lips against the vulnerable skin of her neck. It was as though he'd guessed her move before she made it, and counterattacked.

  But the warmth of his breath against her neck unnerved her equally. Her heart beat rapidly – almost painfully – as his lips traveled over that same skin, lingering on the curve of her jaw. Then his strong hands framed her face and she was lost.

  Bracketed in his touch, she sank into the embrace as his lips quested for hers. How could one touch be so gentle, yet so strong? She sensed purpose as his lips firmed over hers, then traced their outline. One of his hands kneaded the back of her neck, while the other pulled her closer.

  It was an exploration, an adventure… It was madness. Yet she let the insanity continue as she felt him absorb her taste, as she memorized his.

  His tongue danced, dueled, mesmerized. Somewhere in the back of her mind she remembered that she shouldn't be doing this – not with him. For once, her body was overruling her mind. Even though tantalizing licks of memory were surfacing, ones that told her once she'd enjoyed something this special, this intense. Then her body took over again, drowning in the feel of his hands, his lips against hers.

  Wanting to moan with the pleasure she sensed he could offer, she forced herself to pull back instead. Her voice was shaky as she managed an unconvincing laugh. "I see the corn dogs and chocolate have gone to our heads. You ready to head back down the mountain?"

  His husky voice poured over her like aged whiskey, offering both fire and seduction, yet he met her gaze evenly. "If that's all you're game for."

  Scrambling to her feet, Barbara felt an overpowering need to put distance between them. All of the confusing emotions she'd been feeling lately were ganging up on her. Despite her regret for things missing in her life, such as a soul mate and children, she was allowing her emotions to race along unchecked. She didn't know anything about this man, yet she'd allowed him to derail her normally ordered life. She had to remember her priorities. It was simply wrong to be with this man. She could be jeopardizing everything that was important to her. And right now she needed to be concentrating on her career, on this case.

  As she had for far too long.

  Shaking away the unwanted thought, she knew she needed to regain her solid footing. Not think about his offer that she'd refused. Even now, her body tingled with awareness, unexpected need; and a shiver skittered up her spine at the purposefulness she read in his expression.

  Oh, yes. Very dangerous.

  * * *

  Alone, inside her own apartment at last, Barbara leaned against the closed door, letting her body sag against the solid oak. Every nerve sang with awareness, every emotion had been run up the flagpole. She didn't know when she'd felt so cornered, so exhausted, so totally intimidated.

  And so alive.

  Even now she could picture Kenneth Gerrard's smile, the expression in his eyes, the unmistakable purpose in his firm, muscled body. It had taken every shred of her control to resist him the rest of the afternoon. Even more to try and convince him to return her brief case and end their forced time together.

  But he'd flatly refused.

  Sighing, Barbara moved away just as the doorbell pealed. Couldn't the man give it up? Didn't he realize she'd almost exhausted the remainder of her control?

  Not stopping to question the bisecting path of those two thoughts, she blew her bangs from her eyes.

  Exasperated, she flung the door open and demanded, "Now what?"

  Dani's widened eyes revealed her surprise while she held both hands upward in a questioning pose. "What'd I do?"

  "Sorry. Bad timing."

  "Glad I'm not whoever you're gunning for." Barbara pushed a hand through her hair. "I'm not really gunning for anybody. I'm just … I guess I don't know exactly what I'm doing."

  Dani wrinkled her forehead. "Now that doesn't sound like you."

  "I'm kind of confused."

  Dani reached out and laid one hand against Barbara's forehead. "Coming down with a fever?"

  "Possibly," she muttered. "Come on in." Dani moved inside, seeing the
unexpected clutter of backpack and jacket on Barbara's sofa. Her eyebrows rose.

  But Barbara didn't notice, heading instead to the kitchen. "I thought you were going to get some rays this weekend."

  Trailing comfortably behind her, Dani perched on the stool opposite the snack bar. "In other words, what am I doing here?"

  Barbara handed her a diet Coke. "Nope. Actually, it's nice to see a safe face."

  Dani reached up automatically to touch her cheek. "Safe? Now that's not a description I've heard before."

  "Nonthreatening. No ulterior motives."

  "Which I take it means someone else has been hammering at you." She thought for a moment, her face suddenly opening with a dawning realization. "It's that barracuda Gerrard. Don't tell me you've been seeing him this weekend?"

  Barbara spluttered for a moment.

  "You have!" Dani squealed. "Tell me everything. Don't leave out one scintillating detail."

  "Sorry to disappoint you. There aren't any scintillating details."

  Dani's eyes narrowed. "Not from lack of trying, I suspect. So how'd this come about?"

  Barbara filled her in on the briefcase-napping. "Pretty clever man," Dani said after she heard the tale. "He gets you and the inside plan on our strategy all in one fell swoop."

  "He hardly got me," Barbara hotly denied.

  "I don't know. Looks to me like he got under your skin pretty bad."

  The indignation drained out of Barbara and she sighed. "He confuses me."

  "Want to tell me about it?"

  "I went with him because I thought I could get my briefcase."

  "Backfired, huh?"

  "With a sonic boom. He still has my briefcase and … let's just say I don't need to be spending any more time with him outside of the courtroom."

  "You're good, Barb. You won't compromise the case."

  Barbara shrugged. "Maybe."

  "Is this a chink in the famed armor? From you?"

  "We all have our moments."

  Dani studied her friend. "There's more to it this time. He's got you shook. This doesn't have anything to do with that sentimental streak you were feeling, does it?"

  "You mean grabbing on to the first available man because I heard my biological clock ticking?" Barbara pursed her lips and stared meaningfully, drawing out her words for emphasis. "I don't think so."

  "It's funny what regret can make you do," Dani mused, ignoring Barbara's words. "People jump into marriages for no good reason, have babies they don't really want…"

  "I don't think I've gone completely around the bend," Barbara answered dryly.

  Dani shrugged. "You're a prime candidate, kid. Successful, driven and feeling your share of guilt."

  "What have I got to feel guilty about?"

  "Guilt, regret. Call it what you want. Part of you's wishing you had said yes to Billy's marriage proposal. And now here's another dynamic man making a play for you and it's knocking the pins out from under you. What if you say no again and there's not another chance? And what if this is the opportunity to correct that first mistake? And what if—"

  "That's a lot of 'what ifs'," Barbara inserted. "And even more imagination than fact. Let's face it. I've just been working too hard – even for me. After the weekend I'll get things back into perspective."

  "I'd say the best you can hope for is to retrieve your briefcase. And how do you plan to do that and avoid Mr. Wonderful?"

  Good question. Barbara pushed her wayward bangs from her face. Even her hair had gone wild this weekend. She gazed at her friend. "And here I thought you were the calm in the storm."

  Dani grinned. "When did you ever consider me calm?"

  Barbara managed a grin of her own. "I think it might have been when you were asleep. Or possibly before you were born."

  Plopping hands on hips, Dani cocked her head as she stared at her friend. "You look different. Younger, relaxed, more hip."

  "You suggesting I looked like Joan Crawford before?"

  Dani sipped her drink, then smiled devilishly. "Close, but no cigar."

  "Don't feel you have to mince words to spare my feelings," Barbara replied with more than a touch of exasperation.

  "I just told you that you're looking good," Dani protested.

  "In a roundabout way … say, via Antarctica."

  "Don't go all touchy on me. One of your best assets has been your ability to let all that mushy emotional stuff wash over you."

  Barbara paused. "It has?"

  "Sure. Everybody else gets all caught up in every minor crisis, real or imagined, and you just troop through it all, not letting it touch you. Makes you a great lawyer."

  But what kind of person did it make her?

  What kind of woman?

  Is that what Ken saw when he looked at her? A calculating attorney with all the emotions of a corpse? Sickened, Barbara slid down and sat on the stool opposite Dani's. When had her career become more important than anything else in her life?

  "It'll be easy for you to keep everything in perspective," Dani commented as she picked up a banana from the bowl of fruit on the counter.

  Barbara dragged her thoughts back to the present. "What do you mean?"

  "You're Calculating Callister, remember?"

  As though she could forget. The practical side of her had nothing to do with a silly moment of regret, nor her attraction to someone who was obviously the worst choice in men.

  However, even while she was steeling herself to be practical, an errant thought tripped restlessly through her mind, reminding her that she had enjoyed her day with him. And despite all the reasons why she shouldn't be, she was attracted to the first man in over a decade who made her think beyond just the moment. Who made her want to dig through those forgotten feelings and retrieve them.

  She turned away from her friend's questioning gaze by wandering toward the laundry room. Barbara remembered Kenneth's surprising behavior on their hike. Making her laugh over the unexpected, like corn dogs and grape soda. Making her want in a totally different way. Suddenly she wished for a mirror so she could confirm Dani's words. Did she really look younger? She certainly felt that way.

  She reached up to touch her hair, her fingers colliding with the bandanna Kenneth had placed there. The material was a nubby cotton and she rubbed her knuckles over its ridgy pattern. Feeling silly, yet compelled to do so, she pulled the bandanna from her forehead and lifted it to inhale its fragrance. It still smelled of him. Closing her eyes, she could picture his smile, those eyes that beckoned to her. Almost familiar, yet…

  "Earth to Barbara. Have you gone off the deep end, my friend? What's that? Your bandanna?"

  Embarrassed, yet refusing to let it show, Barbara shoved the bandanna into her pocket. "It's nothing. I'm just tired and I have a million things to do still."

  "On Saturday night?"

  Barbara figured she might as well get it over with. "I agreed to go to dinner with him tonight."

  Dani's eyebrows shot up like twin signals of disbelief. "So, are we back to playing Barbie and Ken? And can I have the dream house when you're through?"

  "You're irrepressible. I'm going to dinner because he still has my briefcase. I'm not putting up with any more stalling. I get it back tonight."

  "Over dinner?" Dani asked incredulously. "A little wine, a little candlelight, then you bop him over the head and retreat with the goods?"

  "Exactly what I had planned," Barbara replied dryly. "Do you think I should ply him with grapes and a little hot oil body massage, too? Or do you think that would give my game away?"

  Dani's eyes sparkled even as they widened. "I don't know, but I love it that you're finally playing. My, how the mighty have fallen."

  Barbara rolled her eyes. "You're an impossible romantic, Dani. You should team up with Cupid and the two of you could get a monopoly on Valentine's Day."

  But Dani had already tuned her out. "What are you wearing? Not that boring stuff you usually wear to work, I hope. You need something sexy and slinky—"
r />   "I think I know how to dress for a dinner date."

  "Let's go check out your closet," Dani replied, ignoring her as she stalked in that direction, leaving Barbara to trail into the bedroom after her. Waving Barbara into the shower, Dani took over clothes selection duty.

  An hour later nearly every bit of clothing Barbara owned was strewn out across the bedroom and Dani was still digging in the back of the closet.

  "Dani, please. It'll take me hours to put this mess back together."

  "You don't have hours." Dani's voice sounded muffled, as though she were standing on her head in the back of the closet.

  "No kidding." Something Barbara had been trying to point out to her friend since she'd attacked the closet.

  "This is it!" Dani suddenly shrieked. "I didn't know you had it in you to buy something like this…" Her voice trailed off as she let out a low wolf whistle. "Hell, he ought to turn over the keys to his office if you show up in this."

  Dani emerged, holding up by far the most provocative dress Barbara had ever owned. And never worn. With good reason – because it was so provocative. It had been an impulse buy, one a determined saleswoman had talked her into, in a moment when she'd been feeling vulnerable, but she'd never had the nerve to actually wear it.

  Barbara groaned. "I can't wear that!"

  "Why not?" Dani held the hanger up higher, slowly twirling the dress around, highlighting the wisp of black silk that had been designed to drive a man crazy. "I'll admit it grabs you, but it's exactly right. He won't know what hit him. You'll get your briefcase and, if you're lucky … maybe even something better."

  "You're a sick woman. If I show up in that he'll … he'll…" What exactly would he do, she wondered? And why was a suddenly persistent part of her wanting to know? A half-forbidden thrill raced through her as she tentatively accepted the dress when Dani offered it.

  Holding it against her body, Barbara turned slowly and looked into the mirror, remembering again why she'd given in and bought the sinfully expensive, equally outrageous dress. She'd wanted to know how a dress like this made a woman feel. Even more so, what it did to the man who saw her in it. How would it feel to discover just what kind of blood ran in Kenneth Gerrard's veins? Corporate or passionate?