The 6 Most Important Decisions You'll Ever Make

by Sean Covey

  Second, don’t start thinking you’re handicapped! You’re totally capable of succeeding in school and life, no matter what you may have been diagnosed with. You’d be shocked to know that there are thousands of successful entrepreneurs, lawyers, doctors, teachers, musicians, actors and actresses, or whatever, who have been diagnosed with dyslexia, ADD, or some other kind of learning problem.

  If learning is hard for you, think of it as a weakness you have to work with—just like an uncoordinated person has to learn to work with their weakness to become a good soccer player. True, you may have to work a little harder than others, but you can succeed and turn a weakness into a strength!

  Greg Fox shared his experience.

  A teacher whom I had never seen before touched my shoulder and told me to follow her down the hall to a small room. She asked me questions about my life and took notes on everything I said. The next day we met in the same room and I began taking tests that would become a weekly routine throughout that year, and all the way through high school. A few other kids joined me in that small room also. We didn’t know it at the time, but the school system had labeled us as L.D., or learning disabled.

  As a learning disabled student, teachers treated me accordingly—disabled. They gave me answers to math problems, helped me finish my homework assignments, and allowed me to take untimed tests. They didn’t expect much and so that was what they got back. By high school, I got used to the special treatment, and for the first time I found myself using my disability as a crutch that would let me ease my way out of assignments. I sold myself short.

  During my senior year, I was placed in a class with several other learning disabled teenagers. The class was taught by a new teacher, Mr. Weisberg. A middle-aged man, Mr. Weisberg had given up his profession as a lawyer in order to help teenagers like me realize their true potential. He accomplished exactly what he set out to do. He didn’t accept any of my excuses. For the first time in my life, I had to take accountability for my education, learning not to make excuses.

  Like a recovering drug addict, I craved the crutch that had supported me for so many years. It was hard, but gradually Mr. Weisberg made me believe in myself as a human being with limitless potential. At first I hated him for not letting me be lazy, but together we broke down the label’s invisible barriers.

  I graduated from high school, and I am now receiving straight As as I prepare to earn a bachelor’s degree in English. However, beyond the degree and the G.P.A., I have learned to believe in myself, and to take accountability for my future. I only regret those years that I confined myself to what others thought of me.

  The truth is, we pretty much live up to what others think of us and what “we” think of ourselves. If you have a hard time learning, stick with it and don’t sell yourself short. Fight the labels others may try to give you. And for heaven’s sake, don’t ever label yourself. Labels are short-sighted and don’t take into account all the talent each of us was born with, as spoken about in this poem by the Persian poet Hafiz of Shiraz.

  “There are so many gifts still unopened from your birthday, there are so many hand-crafted presents that have been sent to you by God.”

  I remember meeting a bubbly girl named Amelia. She had just earned her degree from Weber State University in automotive technology, the only girl in her school to graduate in that major. She had done so well that several big companies offered her jobs, including Harley-Davidson.

  Amelia had had every disadvantage growing up in Provo, Utah. She was one of five kids raised by her single mother, who worked multiple jobs to support the kids.

  “My mom made it clear that she couldn’t afford to pay for college and drummed into my head that a scholarship to college was my ticket to a better life.”

  During elementary school, however, Amelia didn’t do well. It was especially hard for Amelia to read. Not until high school did she figure out what was wrong.

  “One time I was reading aloud and I kept reading words wrong. That’s when my mom was like, ‘Why are you reading the words wrong?’ And I said, ‘I don’t mean to. I have to read it two or three times to get it right.’ It was then that my mom figured it out. After years of wondering why I hated to read and struggled in school, I was finally diagnosed with severe dyslexia. I didn’t know why learning was so hard, and even my teachers and mom had no idea I had it.”

  Dyslexia, by the way, is where the letters you are reading get mixed up. For years, people with dyslexia were thought to be stupid, until Margaret Rawson discovered dyslexia and cleared the path for millions of kids who never knew what was going on in their heads. Below is how a sentence might appear to someone with dyslexia.

  Luckily, during high school and college, Amelia had some true friends who helped her deal with her dyslexia.

  I was lucky to have a second-mile college roommate, Abby. I had a very hard time reading even my own writing. Sometimes, I’d dictate my paper to Abby who typed it up for me. She worked with me for hours. It would have been impossible to graduate without her. Often, when I’d get stressed out about my homework, my dyslexia would get really bad. In honors classes, I had to read five or six books per class, and Abby would read them all to me. She would finish her homework and then she would read me my homework until two in the morning.

  Although Amelia’s mom always wanted her to be a lawyer, she couldn’t be more proud of her mechanically inclined daughter. Through hard work and caring people, you too can thrive in the midst of serious educational challenges, just like Amelia.

  7 SECRETS TO GETTING GOOD GRADES

  I believe that everyone can get good grades if they want to, even if they have never done well before or if they struggle with learning. Of course, there’s much more to school than getting good grades. In fact, you can get good grades and not learn a thing. But, in general, getting good grades is a sign that you’ve paid the price. What does good grades mean? It’s different for everyone so you must decide for yourself. Here are 7 secrets on how to do it.

  Secret 1: Believe you can

  It all starts with your paradigm, what you think in your head. You’ve got to believe you can do it. A kid named Josh shared this.

  All through high school I never got good grades. I was a good athlete but I just thought I could not get good grades. This really hurt my self-esteem. I took these same feelings into college. And, guess what? I did not get good grades there either. I wanted to be a dentist but thought I could never get the grades I needed to get there.

  One day when I was on the computer, an IQ test popped on my screen. I remember my parents telling me that I tested very high when I was in elementary school. Well, I did it, and the result astonished me. I scored a 140! I could not believe it. The computer gave me job descriptions of what it thought I would be good at. And, wouldn’t you know, it listed dentistry. My way of thinking changed right then. My next semester of college I got all As and a B+. I wish I believed in myself in high school like I believe in myself now.

  Don’t ever start thinking you’re dumb or “incapable of getting good grades.” Everyone is capable, even those who have so-called learning disabilities, or have done poorly in the past, or may have no family support. It all starts with the belief in your head. (If you’d like to take an IQ test or something similar, visit the Help Desk in the back of the book.)

  Secret 2: Show up

  “Most of life is showing up,” said the bestselling author Regina Brett. So many kids skip class and wonder why they get bad grades. If you show up to class, good things happen. You’ll be there for that surprise quiz. You’ll be there when your teacher announces that extra-credit assignment. You’ll be there when the teacher suggests how to prepare for the upcoming test.

  Secret 3: Do extra credit

  Any time your teacher offers extra credit, do it. It’s usually pretty easy and can get you a whole lot of points and help you prepare for tests. Surprisingly, most students don’t take advantage of extra credit. I remember taking a trigonometry class in high sch
ool, and no matter how hard I studied, I could never do better than Bs or Cs on the test. But, by turning in all my assignments and doing every bit of extra credit allowed, I got an A in the class. Ha!

  Secret 4: Get on your teachers’ good side

  Say hello to your teachers. Be friendly. Show them respect. Change their perception of you by sitting in the front row. Don’t get paranoid by thinking your teacher is out to get you. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they’re not. If you didn’t get your assignment done on time, don’t be afraid to ask if you can hand it in late. Sometimes, they’ll say yes.

  Hey, teachers are just like you and me. If you’re nice to them, they’ll be nice to you and give you a break from time to time. My wife, Rebecca, was especially good at getting on her teachers’ good sides while in high school.

  As a junior at Madison High School, I took chemistry from a nerdy but brilliant teacher, Mr. Kramer. I was a total airhead in chemistry and didn’t understand a thing. I’d get 30s and 40s on the tests. “Mr. Kramer,” I’d plead. “Please help me. I’m flunking your class. But, I swear, I’m really trying.” And then I’d start crying. I wasn’t faking. I cried because I was flunking. So, I started going early in the mornings before class and he’d help me. I asked him if I could do any extra credit and finished anything he offered. I’d stay after class. I ended up getting Bs in his classes. I think it was because he liked me and because I was trying so hard.

  Now, you can call this kissing up, if you’d like. I’d call it smart.

  Secret 5: Be strong in the red zone

  The red zone is the final twenty yards of the football field before reaching the end zone. These are the hardest yards to come by. You can move the ball up and down the field all you want, but if you blow it in the red zone, you get no points.

  So many kids work hard all semester long, then blow it during the final weeks because they get tired. In school, the red zone is that time around finals when everything is on the line and you need to suck it up and get it done. It’s that big test tomorrow that’s worth more than all the assignments you’ve handed in so far combined. Or the final week of the term when you’ve got multiple tests to take and assignments to hand in. Or that big term paper that is due in three days and worth one-third of your grade. This is when you need to be strong. Often, the only difference between teens who get good grades and those who don’t is that some are strong in the red zone and some aren’t.

  I’ll never forget taking a final test in a college class. It was a three-hour test and worth half our grade. About halfway into it, a classmate stood up, handed in his test, and walked out. It was clear he was just tired and sick of it. I thought to myself, “You idiot. Why didn’t you finish? You’ve been going to this class for four months. You’ve spent hundreds of hours doing homework. Yet when half your grade was on the line, you couldn’t endure until the end.”

  The moral of the story is, be strong when big points are at stake.

  Secret 6: Gather your resources

  While I was growing up, my dad would take our family waterskiing each summer. And whenever one of us kids would struggle getting up on skis, he’d yell out from the boat, “Keep trying, honey. You can do it. Alkaline your energies. Marshall your will. Gather your resources!” None of us ever knew what the heck he was saying. But I’ve never forgotten those words. Although I’ve never figured out how to “alkaline my energies,” I have figured out what he meant by “gather your resources.”

  When it comes to school, gather your resources means you get others involved in helping you get good grades, such as teachers, friends, cousins, grandparents, parents, counselors, mentors, and so on. Find someone that believes in you and cares about you and ask them for help in school. Most schools have excellent counselors who would love to help; many have awesome mentoring programs. Notice how Jennifer turned her grades around by getting someone who cared involved in her life.

  When I was younger I always wanted to make straight As on a report card just to see what my parents would say or to see if they even cared. But I figured that there was no way for me to make straight As if my parents couldn’t even make it through high school without quitting. My grades have never been a problem until this year. My usual As and Bs turned into Ds and Fs.

  So, I went to someone who is a mother figure to me. We sat down and talked about my situation and she started making a list of what I needed to do. She expressed to me that I could do it. Just by her saying that put all kinds of strength and confidence in me because it seemed that she really cared about my grades and me.

  I did exactly what she said and it worked because my grades came up really fast. I don’t think I could have done it without her because I didn’t want to let her down, which made me try even harder. When I told her how my grades had improved, she told me she was proud of me, which made me feel like I was on top of the world.

  Secret 7: Develop smart study habits

  You’re busy. You have school, friends, work, extracurricular activities, and other stuff to juggle. So smart study habits are a must. Imagine two sisters, Janita and Maria. Janita is a sophomore in high school and is getting all As and Bs. Maria is a senior and, although very bright, is getting Cs, Ds, and Fs. Let’s investigate the study habits of each.

  A Night in the Life of Janita

  Janita plays soccer and has practice after school, so she gets home at about six. She eats dinner, relaxes a bit, and starts her homework at around 7:30. She goes to her mom’s bedroom to study. Mom has a big desk, so Janita can lay out all her stuff. She makes sure that she has everything she needs (laptop, books, fruit for snacks) so she doesn’t have to get up every five minutes.

  Janita doesn’t like homework, but she’s learned that it’s better to focus and do it fast than let it drag out. It usually takes her about an hour and a half to get it done. During that time, Janita doesn’t text, talk on the phone, watch TV, listen to music, or clip her toenails.

  Janita studies with a plan. First, she works on everything that is due tomorrow. Then she chips away at long-term projects, like reading 25 pages for a book report due next week. She knows when everything is due because she keeps track of it on her calendar.

  Janita uses a technique that helps her work faster and remember more. She scans the material first, then reads the material thoroughly, and finally drills herself on what she just read.

  A Night in the Life of Maria

  Maria also gets home around six most days. After dinner, she spends the next few hours on her phone, texting with her friends and checking Snapchat and Facebook. She doesn’t like having a set time to do her homework, but usually starts around nine or ten.

  Maria likes to study in the kitchen area, where all the action is. She doesn’t seem to mind the TV blaring in the background or the constant comings and goings of her brother and his friends.

  Around eleven or so, when the action has died down, Maria is finally able to focus. But since she hates even the thought of using a calendar, she can’t always remember which assignments are due. She usually texts a friend or just guesses. Most of her time is spent cramming for whatever is due tomorrow; she can’t imagine actually studying for a test that’s several days away.

  Maria has no particular method for studying. She just randomly jumps around from topic to topic. By about midnight, she’s usually too tired to continue studying, so she goes to bed thinking: “I can’t believe they give us so much homework.”

  The difference is clear. To do well in school, you’ve got to have solid study skills (by the way, cheating is not a study skill, and if you do it, you will pay later). Here are the five we just saw.

  Smart Study Habits

  • FEED YOUR HEAD. Remember, your brain is connected to your body. To work well, it needs food. So, if you’re about to jump into your studies but you’re starving, grab a bite to eat.

  • RIGHT PLACE. Find a good place that is quiet and where you can spread out all your stuff, like a library or little-used room. Stay away from plac
es where you have the habit of goofing off. Make sure you have everything you need—paper, pencils, scissors, stapler, snacks—so you don’t have get up constantly.

  • RIGHT TIME. Set aside a time every day when you’ll do your homework. Avoid interruptions as best you can. If you have a hard time focusing, try the small-chunks approach. Do small chunks of work several times a day. For example, do fifteen minutes of homework. Then take a break and reward yourself. Then do fifteen minutes of homework again. Take a break. Repeat the process throughout the day.

  • NOW AND LATER. Organize what you have to do. First, focus on the now, and do whatever is due tomorrow. Second, focus on the later, and chip away at big projects, papers, and upcoming tests.

  • SCAN, READ, DRILL. Let’s say you have one hour to study for an upcoming history test on chapter 9. Instead of just reading your textbook and class notes for one hour, try this method instead. (It is based upon numerous, proven retention methods that have been around for a long time.)

  Scan. (10 minutes) Scan chapter 9 and write down or make mental notes of the main headings, key points, key people, key words, key dates, review questions, and so on.

  Read. (30 minutes) Read chapter 9 and any notes you may have taken in class on chapter 9.

  Drill. (20 minutes) Drill yourself by giving yourself a test. Answer chapter questions or make up and answer questions from your notes, vocabulary words, or possible questions from your teacher. Anticipate what your teacher is looking for and don’t waste time on stuff you don’t need to know. (For more information on study skills, please visit the Help Desk in the back of the book.)