The 6 Most Important Decisions You'll Ever Make

by Sean Covey

  Servings of fruits and veggies

  Day 1

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  Day 2

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  Day 3

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  10. Think through the first five most important decisions you’ll ever make: School, Friends, Parents, Dating and Sex, and Addictions. Which one are you struggling with most? Make up your mind to start making better decisions today in that area.

  There’s a great scene from the movie Pirates of the Caribbean that you can’t forget. When everything seems to be falling apart, one of the pirates asks Captain Jack Sparrow what they should do. The Captain (who is less than admirable but does have one good line!) simply responds:

  The pirate completely understands. “Aye, the code!”

  Although I’m sure Captain Sparrow had a different code in mind, stick to the code in this book means that you make smart decisions about each fork in the road you face and stick to what you know is right, even when it’s hard or unpopular. And if you get off track, you get back on fast.

  I wish I could tell you that everything in life will be peachy from here on out. But you and I know better. You will have depressing days and bad hair days. At times it may seem that everything is falling apart. In such situations, “stick to the code.” Listen to your conscience, the common sense inside you that makes you feel guilty when you’re mean to a friend and warm when you’re nice to your mom. It will lead you down the right path. You know what I’m talking about. Aye, matey, the code!

  © King Features Syndicate

  For years, people have debated, “Do your genes make you who you are? Or does your environment or upbringing make you who you are?” My answer is neither.

  CHOICE MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE.

  Although genes and upbringing deeply influence you, you are you because of your choices. Choice rules!

  So remember, there are six key decisions you will make during your teen years that can make or break your future. And you are free to choose your path. Hopefully, after reading this book, you’ll be more prepared than ever to answer these questions:

  1. What am I going to do about my education?

  2. What type of friends will I choose and what kind of friend will I be?

  3. What kind of relationships will I build with my parents?

  4. Who will I date and what will I choose to do about sex?

  5. What will I do about smoking, drugs, pornography, and other addictive things?

  6. What am I going to do about building my self-worth?

  Choosing the high road will help you become happy and healthy today, and ready for your twenties, thirties, and beyond. By ready I mean: all set, fully prepared, standing by, geared-up, equipped, organized, good to go. Who wouldn’t want that?

  Some of you might be thinking, I wish I had this book years ago. I’ve already blown some of these decisions. Well, it’s never too late to learn from your mistakes and get back on track. I repeat, whether you’re 15 or 19 or 25, it’s never too late to change course. If you do, your past trials can actually become a blessing to you and others.

  Of course, you’re better off sticking to the high road from the start. After all, smart people learn from their own mistakes, while really smart people learn from the mistakes of others. If you’re on the high road already, reach out and help others do the same, instead of judging them. Be a good influence to a friend who may be flunking out of school or getting into drugs. Who knows, you just might be the lifesaver they need. STICK to the CODE!

  There’s a lot of hate, violence, and depressing stuff going on in this world of ours and it’s easy to hang your head and get down. But take heart: there is good and beauty all around. I’m reminded of the dialogue between Frodo and Sam in the Lord of the Rings when they are both exhausted and about to lose hope.

  SAM: It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was with so much bad happening? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those are the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why.

  But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. ’Cause they were holding on to something.

  FRODO: What are we holding on to, Sam?

  SAM: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for!

  I second the motion. There is some good in this world and it is worth fighting for. I also firmly believe that you are good and that you are worth fighting for. Even more, I think you’re the finest generation of teens that has ever lived. That’s why I wrote this book.

  Well, here we are at the end of all things. I congratulate you on finishing the book (or did you just look at the cartoons?). I leave you with my most excellent wishes for success in life. Keep reading books. It’s brain food, you know. And never forget the words of P. J. O’Rourke,

  THANK-YOUS

  A fellow author once asked me, “So, who was your ghostwriter?” I was offended. “A ghostwriter?” I said. “Why would I use a ghostwriter?”

  The fact is, I love to write and wrote all 100,749 words of this book on my IBM ThinkPad. That said, as every author knows, it takes an army to amass a book. So I would like to thank that army who made this book possible.

  Thank you, Annie Oswald, for leading this project from start to finish. Your passion for helping teens and wanting to make a difference shone through every day. Thanks for collecting stories, conducting interviews, setting up focus groups, compiling research, finding awesome quotes, getting permissions, giving straight feedback, and doing 101 other things. Everyone tells me regularly how much they love working with you. So do I.

  Thanks to Cynthia Haller, my sister. Thank you for writing beginning drafts of the Friends, Dating & Sex, and Self-Worth chapters. You were inspired! Your fingerprints and influence are all over this book and you contributed more stories than anyone. Truly, you are a great writer. Without you, this book wouldn’t be half as good.

  Thanks to the entire team at The FaQtory for the layout, illustrations, images, color, and the overall look and feel of the book. Specifically, thanks to Ray Kuik, creative director; Bob Gair, art director; Jasper Jonker, project manager; and Eric Olson, illustrator. It was a riot working with you guys. Although you’re Canadian, you’re geniuses. Brilliant work!

  Thank you, Mark Pett, for thinking up the majority of the cartoons in this book and for contributing several illustrations and comic strips. Your humor is one of a kind and brought comedic relief to some very intense subjects. I hope every paper in the country picks up your excellent comic strip, Lucky Cow.

  Thank you, Rebecca, my lovely wife, for your steadfast support and for never complaining over a three-year period. At last, it is finished! And I can start taking out the garbage, again.

  Thank you, Jean Crowley, for your outstanding editorial assistance at the last hour. I will forever recommend you to others.

  Thank you, Maria, my sister, for reviewing and giving great input on every chapter (except Dating & Sex because it embarrassed you so much).

  Thank you, Deborah Burkett, Deb Lund, and Greg Link for your great help on gathering endorsements and marketing the book.

  Thank you, Dominick Anfuso, Wylie O’Sullivan, and the other key players at Simon & Schuster, for your patience and your belief in the project.

  Thank you, Jan Miller and Shannon Miser-Marvin from Dupree-Miller (my book agent), for suggesting I do this book in the first place.

  A big thanks to the many schools—and the administrators, teachers, and students within them—who participated in focus groups, did interviews, and gave input. Specifically, thanks go to:

  • Gary DeLuca and the studen
ts of Allen East High School in Ohio.

  • Sherri Stinson and the students of the Community Career Center of Metro Nashville Public Schools.

  • Jennifer Williams, Susan Warline, Norm Emmets, Erica Gillespie, and the students of Hilliard Darby High School in Ohio.

  • Tony Contos, Marie Blunk, Cathe Ghilain, Susan Graham, Kelly Manning-Smith, Emily Petronio, and the students of Joliet Township High School in Illinois.

  • Liz Whitsom and the students of Warren Central High School in Kentucky.

  • Dave Barrett and the students of Millington Central High School in Tennessee.

  • James Lynch and the students of Snyder Middle School in Pennsylvania.

  • Jennifer Suh and the students of Daewon Foreign High School in South Korea.

  • David Downing, Mrs. Van Dine and her multicultural literature class, and the students of Millikan High School in Long Beach, California.

  • Kay Cannon and the students at Northridge High School in Layton, Utah.

  • Denise Hodgkins and the students of Utah Valley State College 7 Habits classes, especially: Ben Hicks, Amanda Pledger, Sophia Iacayo, Martin Palmer, Rachel Turner, Brandon Beckham, DeAnna Stock, Michelle Chappell, Kimberly Schultz, Curtis Walker, and Jason Ormond.

  Thank you, Kristin Bloodworth, Reverend Barbara Roby, and teen members of the Braddock Street United Methodist Church in Winchester, Virginia, for conducting a key focus group on a sensitive subject. In particular, thanks to Lindsey Shrimp, Frankie Welton, Erin Gardner, Eric Fisher, Rachel Carson, Chris Gardner, Danielle Brown, Glen Carson, Taylor Hoffman, Heather Gronlund, Taylor Hodges, Willy B. Hawse, Amber Brill, and Nick Adams.

  A big thanks to the students of Utah Valley High Schools who showed up at my home early on Saturday mornings off and on for two years to participate in focus groups. In particular, thanks to Dane Andersen, Cameron Bench, Nicolas Blosil, Charles Bohr, Jarrett Burge, McKinlee Covey, Tyler Davis, Elise Fletcher, Jake Glenn, Joey Gunnell, Hank Hillstead, Celeste Huntsman, Aaron Jaynes, Ellen Jaynes, Justin Karoly, Janna Mills, Shannon Mills, Chris Moon, Cody Naccarato, Shannon Nordin, Chelsey Olsen, Metta Oswald, Cameron Robinson, Natalie Robison, Jessica Sagers, and Keli’i Wesley.

  Thanks to all the FranklinCovey international offices, who contributed in various ways.

  Thank you, Vickie-Jean Mullins and Florida Department of Health (greattowait.com) for providing great information.

  Thanks to the many other adults who offered feedback, editorial help, stories, and more, including Greg Fox, Luison Lassala from Ireland, Doug Hart from Palestine, Sainbayar Beejin and his classmates from Mongolia, Barbara Muirhead, Heather Seferovich, my mom (Hi, Mom!), and my sister Catherine.

  Thanks to the many other teens from all over the world who contributed advice, stories, and interviews.

  Help Desk

  SCHOOL

  • If you’re trying to find a scholarship for college,

  go to www.scholarships.com or pick up Scholarships: Paying for College Without Going Broke, 2017 Edition (College Admissions Guides), November 1, 2016, by Princeton Review and Kalman Chany

  • Worried about the ACT/SAT?

  Go to www.saab.org or google “Free ACT/SAT Tests” for practice tests, preparation tips, and tons of other ideas

  • If you’re looking for some great study tips,

  go to www.academictips.org or www.homeworktips.about.com or pick up The Middle School Student’s Guide to Academic Success by Blake Nemelka and Bo Nemelka

  • Want to determine your learning style?

  Visit homeworktips.about.com/od/homeworkhelp or go to www.engr.ncsu.edu/learningstyles

  • If you’re trying to decide what to major in,

  go to www.princetonreview.com/college-advice/choosing-college-majors or pick up College Majors Handbook (College Majors Handbook with Real Career Paths & Payoffs) by Neeta Fogg, Paul Harrington, Thomas Harrington, and Laurence Shatkin

  • If you’re struggling with bullying or cyberbullying,

  go to www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/dealing-with-bullying.htm or www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/cyberbullying.htm

  FRIENDS

  • If you’re looking for fun things to do with friends,

  go to kidshealth.org/en/teen/ or visit www.bored.com

  • If you’re looking for ways to deal with troubled friends,

  go to www.extension.umn.edu/youth/mn4-H/projects/healthy-living/health/helping-friends-in-trouble-stress-depression-and-suicide/; www.helpguide.org/home-pages/suicide-prevention.htm; or www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/teenagers-guide-to-depression.htm

  • If you’re struggling with how to deal with negative peer pressure,

  go to www.abovetheinfluence.com

  • For a great book about the power of friends,

  read Holes by Louis Sachar

  PARENTS

  • If you’re suffering abuse from a parent or any other person,

  call the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) or go online to www.childhelp.org

  • Want help with an alcoholic or addicted parent?

  Go to www.al-anon.alateen.org or call 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666)

  • Want to know more about your family history?

  Go to www.usa.gov/genealogy or http://familyhistorydaily.com/genealogy-resources/50-free-genealogy-sites/

  Dating & Sex

  • Not sure how to get out of an abusive relationship?

  Call 1-800-799-7233 or visit www.thehotline.org/

  • Looking for some great date ideas?

  Go to www.bygpub.com/books/tg2rw/dating-ideas.htm

  • Do you need or want to know more about STDs?

  Go to familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/teens/puberty-sexuality/sex-making-the-right-decision.html

  ADDICTIONS

  • If you’re addicted to tobacco, drugs, or alcohol and need help,

  call the Center for Substance Abuse Treatment Referral Line at 1-800-662 HELP (4357), or www.al-anon.alateen.org or call 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) or visit www.drugabuse.gov/drugs-abuse and abovetheinfluence.com/drugs/alcohol/

  • If you want to know more about alcohol and drug prevention,

  visit www.ncadd.org/about-addiction/underage-issues/ten-tips-for-prevention-for-youth

  • If you’re addicted to pornography and want out,

  go to www.psychguides.com/guides/sex-addiction-symptoms-causes-and-effects/ or http://www.projectknow.com/research/porn-addiction/

  SELF-WORTH

  • If you can’t pull yourself out of the funk you’re in,

  information is available from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration by calling toll free 1-800-662 HELP (4357), or by visiting familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/teens.html

  • For tips on common teen health conditions and staying healthy,

  go to familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/teens.html

  • If you think you have an eating disorder,

  visit www.edap.org or www.helpguide.org/home-pages/eating-disorders.htm

  • If you’re interested in losing weight in a healthy way,

  go to www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teen-weight-loss/art-20045224

  • Want to volunteer but don’t know where to start?

  Go to www.pointsoflight.org, www.dosomething.org, or www.volunteermatch.org

  • Want help staying away from destructive decisions?

  Go to www.sadd.org or www.abovetheinfluence.com

  • To find out about IQ, EQ, personality type, aptitude, and all kinds of cool things about you, go to www.funeducation.com

  Covey Classics

  A Covey classic: a generally older movie watched so many times by the Covey family that lines are used frequently in everyday conversation; often bizarre; not always award winning, but who cares; addictive in nature; must-see movies

  Back to the Future

  Beauty and the Beast (Disney)

  Ben-Hur (1959 version)

/>   A Christmas Story

  Christmas Vacation

  Cinderella Man

  Dances with Wolves

  Dead Poet’s Society

  Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

  Dumb and Dumber

  Elf

  Evan Almighty

  Fletch

  Forrest Gump

  Galaxy Quest

  The Goonies

  Groundhog Day

  Guardians of the Galaxy

  Happy Gilmore

  Home Alone (1 and 2)

  Hook

  How to Train Your Dragon

  Independence Day

  The Incredibles

  Indiana Jones (series)

  Interstellar

  I, Robot

  Iron Man

  Jurassic Park

  A Knight’s Tale

  Life Is Beautiful

  Little Giants

  Lord of the Rings (series)

  Mamma Mia

  Meet the Parents

  Megamind

  Monty Python and the Holy Grail

  Mulan

  National Treasure

  The Muppet Christmas Carol

  Nacho Libre

  Napoleon Dynamite

  Now You See Him, Now You Don’t

  Overboard

  The Princess Bride

  The Pursuit of Happyness

  Quigley Down Under

  Remember the Titans

  Robin Hood (Disney, 1973 version)

  Rocky (series)

  Shanghai Noon

  Signs

  Star Wars (series)

  Swiss Family Robinson

  The Ten Commandments

  Three Amigos

  Tommy Boy

  Warrior

  What About Bob?

  What’s Up, Doc?