by Isla Gordon
‘Look at this view,’ Kemi gasped. ‘Jesus Christ!’
‘Look at the hot snowboarders,’ Theresa added as a sturdy chap in sunglasses and an open ski jacket carved past them and off down the ski slope.
‘So according to the map, to make sure we’re sticking to the bob run we need to look out for the purple sledding symbols, like that.’ Alice pointed at a sign sticking out of the snow next to the entrance to one of the piste bashercleared runs.
They shuffled their way over there, their boots creaking in the snow and their sleds bashing against their ankles.
‘Do we go in a line?’ Theresa asked, and they looked at the run before them.
‘It doesn’t look wide enough for us all to go next to each other,’ said Kemi.
‘Not with all the cheese I’ve been eating since I got here.’ Alice stepped forward. ‘We could probably go two by two, and stop and switch over?’
Kemi put her sled down and it began to slide, so she grabbed the rope handle. ‘How do you stop on these?’
‘You have to just dig your heels into the snow,’ answered Bahira. ‘Or plough into the snow bank at the side. Be careful you’re not going to career off piste if you take that option.’
Theresa gulped. ‘I vote Alice and Bahira go first.’ Then she whispered to Kemi, ‘Then we can just crash into them.’
‘Why do I need to go first?’ Alice protested. ‘I’m just as much as a beginner as you.’
‘But your boyfriend is a mountain rescue paramedic,’ Theresa shot back.
‘Fine,’ said Alice. ‘Let’s go.’
They sat in a two by two formation on their sleds, pausing to make some pictures.
‘Hold onto the reins, lean back, keep your legs up but your heels just a little into the snow,’ Bahira instructed.
‘Let’s do this!’ Theresa yelled, and Kemi shushed her.
‘Shhh, you might start an avalanche.’
They sat there, rocking on their sleds, until Theresa asked, ‘How do we make it go?’
Bahira, who’d been tucking her hair into her ski jacket, started waddling her feet forwards, pulling the sled with her, like a dog dragging its bottom on the ground. ‘Like this. Here we go!’
The four of them swayed from the flat onto the start of the slope.
‘Whoooooa!’ Alice was the first to fall, the blade of her sled sinking into the softest snow in the centre of the slope and tipping her over. Behind her, Kemi made a leap for freedom so that only the sled bumped into Alice’s back. Theresa expertly swerved past them both but then was laughing so much she forget to dig her heels in, and zoomed down a sudden incline and out of sight.
‘I’m okay!’ She called back from where she was lying in the snow beside Bahira, who had come to a graceful pause.
Panting and chuckling, with snow lodged into their bum cracks, the women attempted round two. The bob run ebbed and flowed from exhilarating inclines to gentle curves to flat plains that they had to waddle themselves along on, causing their hip flexors to ache.
They passed lonely wooden chalets, half buried, and the mountains that encased them became gold-tipped as the afternoon sun began to sink beyond. It was so quiet aside from the slicing of the sled blades through the snow that it almost became relaxing. The four of them were feeling rather smug with themselves for getting the hang of gliding the wide curves, their heels spraying soft dustings of cold snow into the air, which usually landed back on their faces.
It was making Alice’s bad leg pang something rotten though, even though on the outside all that remained was her scar. She didn’t want to admit it because . . . well, for starters she was half way up a mountain and she didn’t have much choice other than to keep going. But also she was having fun with her friends, her wonderful, familiar friends who were back in her life. So she ignored for as long as possible the burning ache that was worsened by being pressed up against the wood. Eventually she needed a rest, and ploughed into the snow at the edge, which was much thicker than she anticipated. She disappeared up to her knees.
Bahira was bringing up the lead so came to a stop. ‘Everything okay, Ali?’
‘Yep, just having a little rest.’ Alice twisted around on the sled. ‘You’re very good at this.’
‘Once you’ve managed to sled down the hill with a child on your lap because they don’t want to do it any more, dragging their sled behind you, plus carrying the backpack full of everyone’s snacks for the day on your back, this seems a breeze.’
‘You can fit two on one sled?’
‘Well, you shouldn’t.’
Alice thought about this for a moment, and then Bahira asked, ‘Why? What are you thinking?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Are you hurt?’
‘No, no, absolutely fine.’ She extracted herself from the snow but visibly winced when she put weight onto her leg.
Bahira got off her sled and jabbed it into the snow, then walked over to Alice. ‘It’s your bad leg, isn’t it? Does it still hurt you?’
‘Not much, it aches a little when I exercise or snowboard.’
‘Right then, come on,’ Bahira said, and picked up Alice’s sled and tied it to the back of her own.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Taking charge, being the mum, like you’ve been with Bear over the last few months.’ Bahira sat down on her sled, legs akimbo, and patted the small, slatted space in the middle.
Alice laughed. ‘I don’t think I’ll fit in there,’ she said. ‘You’re very kind but I’ll be fine on my own sled.’
‘Come on, let’s give the others a laugh.’
Alice was enjoying a laugh these days. ‘Bugger it, let’s give it a go.’
She climbed on the sled, squidged in between Bahira’s thighs and bent her knees so that her feet were up off the snow and on the wood as well. It wasn’t much comfier, but it was quite funny. Bahira shunted the two of them forward, and the two of them clung, screeching, to the rope as the two sleds cascaded down the slope like white water rafts. They stayed on, though, almost all the way to the bottom, where they found Theresa and Kemi already clasping three steaming cups of Glühwein, plus a hot apple juice for Theresa.
‘That was so much fun,’ said Kemi, gulping her drink. ‘But surprisingly hard work.’
‘Does anyone want to go again?’ asked Theresa, and was met with murmurs of ‘maybe not’s. ‘Oh good, I’m shattered!’
Alice said, ‘How about we pop back to the chalet? I’ll walk Bear, and then we go somewhere to soothe our muscles for an hour or so?’
‘That sounds perfect. What did you have in mind?’ asked Bahira.
‘A simmer in the outdoor hot tub at the Alpine Sports Centre while the sun goes down.’
This revived them, and as they stamped through the snow back to Vanessa’s chalet, Theresa said, ‘I don’t know why you’re ever planning to come home, Ali, the “wild” life is really working for you.’
Her friends from home left Mürren late the following morning, happy and exhausted, bruised but so glad they came, and Alice felt exactly the same. They’d all had a great day on the slopes yesterday, followed by a laughter- and memory-filled soak in the hot tub in the evening. And now she waved goodbye to them, under the soft fall of snowflakes, until the train had pulled away and curled around the mountain.
Before she went back to the chalet, where her Marco was waiting with her Bear, Alice took a moment to be by herself. She walked, her hands in her pockets but her heart open, with the slow amble of somebody enjoying nature and not rushing to avoid life. She was proud of herself.
Then she went up the slope, beside the village she’d become so familiar with, and towards the two chalets that permanently had their doors open to each other.
Alice opened the door to her own, and there were her two favourite boys, all hers for the evening.
Chapter 44
From behind her eyelids, Alice was experiencing utter tranquillity. The sun was high in Switzerland’s cloudless sky and it was war
ming her face and seeping into her skin. From her outside table on the patio of the Alpine Sports Centre’s Hugs & Cups café, the only sounds that broke the quiet were the muted cheers and the thunking and brushing that floated over from the curling game being played on the ice rink.
Alice breathed in deeply, the sweet vanilla and nutmeg spices from her drink filling her nose. She sipped her schintiretto. The hot apple juice swirled with almondy Amaretto was a tonic in the clean, cold air.
It was the day before the four-day Inferno extravaganza hit Mürren, and Alice, Marco and Bear were enjoying the peace and relaxation while they could.
Since her friends had gone home, Alice was feeling more at ease than she had in so long. She looked back at the times over the past six months when she’d doubted she’d ever feel normal again, when she’d had to talk herself out of her own spiralling mindset and remind herself to breathe. And here she was, breathing without even thinking about it most days.
Alice flexed her legs, which were stretched out and resting on Marco’s thighs, and he looked up from his book and smiled at her. She took him in, her sun-kissed man with sandy hair and an open smile, and a backdrop of bright blue sky, rugged mountains and snows of pure white and peppermint, depending on where the shadows hit.
‘What?’ he asked.
From his place lying on the frosty paving slabs Bear looked up and at her too, because of course he was part of the conversation.
She shrugged. ‘Just making a picture.’
Marco’s smile spread into a grin, which he then contorted into a funny face, making her laugh. She laughed and crossed her eyes and gurned back at him, and Bear sighed and lay back in the sunshine.
Alice took another sip of drink, breathed in and out, and settled back to her place of tranquillity behind the warmth of her eyelids.
Chapter 45
Way, way back when Alice and Bear had arrived in Mürren it was like they’d walked into Narnia. In this quiet, magical world they seemed – almost – to be the only inhabitants. A week later, the best neighbours in the world moved in, and life began popping up like snowdrops. A week after that, it almost seemed busy in this little mountain village.
When the skiers, the spectators, the families and the fans of the Inferno arrived in Mürren, Alice realised just how unbusy the last three months had felt.
Visitors from all over the world made their pilgrimage up on the cable car or the train in scores. Fresh snow was walked through, restaurant tables were full, skis filled every rack outside the hotels.
Lola had joined Alice on Bear’s morning walk, and was talking her through the next few days.
‘There’s sort of three races overall. Tonight there’s a cross-country thing where people do laps of Mürren, then tomorrow’s the big slalom. Friday is a chill day where people just rest up or hit the slopes for practice or whatever, but there’s the big crazy procession in the evening which I’m going to have to take you to. Then Saturday is the Big Day.’
A group of men in coordinating ski wear came to a stop in front of Bear and after excitedly cooing something in German that Alice assumed was ‘can we say hello to your dog’, they bent down and took it in turns to ruffle his ears and fawn over him. That was happening a lot on this walk. The more people there were around, the more attention Bear pulled in, and he was loving every second of it.
‘So do you think more people will come over the next couple of days, or is this usually it?’
‘Oh heck, no, this is nothing. They are going to absolutely flood in during today. I reckon the hotels will be full by tonight. But the day tourists will keep coming in, mainly on Saturday.’ Lola glanced at Alice who seemed to be holding Bear’s lead very tightly. ‘You all right, mate? Are crowds a bit of a thing for you, still?’
Alice loosened her grip so Bear could lollop towards an older couple who had stopped to look at him. ‘They’re a little bit of a thing, but I’m really doing so much better. And the atmosphere here seems really nice.’
‘It is a great feel, anybody local looks forward to this every year. We’re a pretty small community, and Inferno weekend is always like having your entire extended family come over for the holidays. In a good way! Lots of familiar faces, everybody is cheering on everybody else. It’s pretty great, I hope you like it.’
‘I’m sure I will.’
Bear turned and beamed up at Lola, sitting his bum in the snow and being a very good boy, and she stroked his cheek with affection. ‘You might want to leave Bear at home for some of it, though. This walk is taking for ever – he’s stealing the show.’
The lead-up to the big day was indeed mesmerising, and as Lola had predicted, the village just got busier and busier. The atmosphere was catching, and every establishment leant good cheer to it. The manager of the Eiger Guesthouse had coaxed Alice in for a free beer and some biscuits for Bear, and Lola and Noah had somehow started an impromptu ski disco for complete beginners on the baby slope.
With lovely powdery slopes, endless blue skies and the buzz of two races behind them in the air, come Friday the next day’s Inferno was all anybody could talk about. Even Vanessa had called to say she couldn’t help herself – she had one day off and was going to travel super early from Zurich on Saturday morning and stay for as much of the race as she could before heading back in the evening.
It was late afternoon and Alice was picking up a few things at the Coop with Marco when David walked through the door, brushing snow out of his hair.
‘David, where have you been putting your head?’ Marco laughed.
David answered him in Swiss German, and to Alice he seemed a little stressed.
The men spoke for a couple of minutes before David left with a quick wave to them both. Marco grabbed a bottle of milk and said to her, ‘Sorry about that. David says the weather is really turning all of a sudden. It can do that in the mountains. I said I would get the milk he wanted so he can head home.’
‘Oh no.’ Alice thought of all the people preparing for the parade right now. The plan was to burn a huge effigy of the devil, because apparently that stopped him meddling in the race, and prevented accidents. It wouldn’t be easy to torch a soggy Satan.
They stepped outside with their shopping and the sky was thick with dark clouds. It covered the mountain peaks opposite, and the gloom it cast made it feel much later than it was.
The snow was falling thick and fast as Alice and Marco rushed back through Mürren village. Snowdrifts were gathering outside the shops and restaurants, with owners standing by the doors looking at the skies. The high number of visitors were standing, a bit lost, or making their way back to hotels, dragging their skis through the powder.
‘People are saying the ski lift is being turned off soon – nobody else can go up but it’s bringing people down,’ Marco explained, eavesdropping as they passed.
‘Wow, so this is quite the sudden snow storm,’ Alice said, one hand in his, the other sheltering her eyes from the wet flakes kissing her lashes and cheeks. She peeped up as best she could at the solid grey sky. ‘I can’t believe we were looking up at blue only twenty minutes ago. Now it’s so dark you’d think it was the evening already. It came on so quick.’
‘Welcome to the mountains,’ said Marco, hurrying them along.
They reached Vanessa’s door and when they were under the shelter of the sloped roof Marco turned back to look at the town, his eyes searching, his expression distracted.
‘Marco? What’s wrong?’
‘This is a lot of snow, very quickly,’ he answered, vaguely. His face moved to the mountain where he could just make out a few stray skiers and snowboarders taking their time coming down.
‘Come on, let’s go inside and get dry.’
Alice put her hand on the door knob and had just turned the key when a siren sounded.
Chapter 46
Three low wails pierced the sky and Alice’s world tipped. She turned, her eyes searching for Marco, and it was like she was swimming in slow motion, her mind tr
ying to drag her all the way back to August.
Marco’s hands grabbed hers and pulled her back from the edge. ‘Alice, Alice, are you with me?’
‘What’s happening?’
Beyond the door Bear started to bark, frantic at the noise and anxious because Alice wasn’t coming inside.
‘Can you hear me?’ Marco insisted, putting his gloved hands on Alice’s cheeks and forcing her to look at him. ‘Are you with me?’
‘Yes,’ she blinked. ‘Yes, Marco. Come inside.’ She tugged at him.
‘Alice, I can’t, I have to go.’
‘Where?’
‘On a rescue. That siren means I have to go, okay?’
She clung to him, still trying to shake this fog that was overwhelming her thoughts. ‘What’s happened?’
He paused, as if not sure whether to tell her.
‘Marco, tell me.’
‘Avalanche, I think.’
‘How bad?’
‘I don’t know yet, the visibility’s all gone. I’ll be back soon. You go inside, Bear needs you.’
‘I can help, let me do something.’
‘Listen to me: there’s nothing you can do here, and that’s okay. You cannot save everyone. Just be there for the one who needs you now, that’s all you can do.’
‘No,’ she cried as he tried to untangle himself. ‘Don’t go up there, please stay here.’
‘I have to go, this is what I do.’ He spoke quietly but firmly.
‘But . . . ’ She grabbed for his sleeves, for his coat, the sirens still ringing in her head. ‘But I can’t do this alone. What if I lose you too?’
He was already pulling away, but he kissed her, his lips warm despite the weather around them, and then backed away from the chalet and held her gaze for just a moment more. ‘Of course you can handle this. Don’t let the “what ifs” control you.’
Marco turned and jogged back down the hill and Bear’s barking turned to a guttural wail, the type of noise Alice hadn’t heard since that first night she’d brought him home and tried to leave him to sleep in the spare room.