by Isla Gordon
‘Did you hear back from any of the publishers yet?’ Lola asked.
‘Actually, one sounds pretty interested – they think it could make a nice gift book, and they want a meeting when I get back to the UK, so fingers crossed!’
‘That’s brilliant! You’ll keep me updated, won’t you?’
‘Of course! I have been thinking about something else I might do, actually.’
‘Go on.’
Alice had read a study once that said humans had a ‘hierarchy of needs’. Once you’d filled up on the vitals such as food and shelter, the next thing you needed was security. Then love, belonging and inclusion. Then self-esteem and power. And finally you’d be at self-actualisation and creativity.
Alice formed her words. ‘Going to the therapist has got me thinking about choosing happy, which is something I’ve always tried to choose in life, but as you know I gave up for a while. I want to give other people the ability to choose happy too, so I was thinking of starting some kind of drawing class or workshop, for people who’d suffered some kind of trauma. Not in place of therapy or anything, I am no expert at fixing people, but just to give them somewhere to go, or something to distract them, but maybe then think about training as an art therapist. And I think it’s good for me to make connections, in real life. What do you think?’
‘I couldn’t think of anybody better to do something like that. Those people are going to be so lucky to have you around.’
Alice blushed and gave her friend a bashful nudge. ‘Well, it’s taken a while to get here, but I feel lucky.’ She inhaled the fresh air and drank up the view with gratitude.
Goodbyes were so hard, even when they were planned. Bear knew something was up and was sticking to Alice like superglue as she walked through her chalet for the last time, trailing her fingers over her nook, the blankets, looking at the view from the window.
Vanessa caught her in a tight hug. ‘Thank you for being here,’ she said into her hair.
‘Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed this.’
‘Come back any time, this is your home now too.’ Bear nudged his way in between them. ‘And yours too, Bear.’
Alice smiled wide, her red lipstick helping to light up her face. ‘I can’t wait to see you in August.’
Vanessa stepped outside the chalet and took David’s hand. They were going for a walk to leave her and Marco alone.
Alice faced him, and the tears came.
‘Hey, it’s okay,’ he soothed, curling her into his arms.
‘I’m going to miss . . . everything.’
‘Me too. But we won’t forget, we made a lot of pictures.’
She laughed. It felt good to let the tears come, drenched with emotions connected to happy times and loving thoughts, because although she was still sad, she wasn’t lost any more. Whether she was home, here, or a million miles away, Alice was happy.
Chapter 50
Heathrow Airport. There was something about this place. It was busy and hectic and brimming with hope. As Alice chowed down on a chunk of Toblerone inside the arrivals hall on the warm June day, the man she was waiting for rounded the corner, as handsome as ever.
Although Alice had gone home just with Bear, Marco and she were spending the summer together in Wales, moving into a rented cottage in the countryside, a family of three, where Marco had been awarded a place with a mountain rescue team in the Brecon Beacons. And here he was.
He didn’t spot her at first, and paused outside the customs gate to put his passport into his rucksack. She watched him scan the crowd and waited for his eyes to meet hers, giving herself plenty of time to reacquaint herself with his sandy hair, sun-kissed skin, his strong arms as bare in the summer as he left them in winter.
He was here for her. She was here for him. When Marco’s gaze found Alice’s, and he smiled, it was clear they were both exactly where they belonged. She stretched her arms wide, and ran towards her future.
It was early in August and the hot weather, even here in Wales, was keeping Bear inside in the cool, which suited Alice, who had been using the day to quietly remember the best friend she’d lost a year ago. She had spread her art materials over the kitchen table of the rented cottage she shared with Marco and was putting some finishing touches to the page proofs of her dog cartoon book that was due to be published in time for Christmas.
Marco walked through their door, carrying fish and chips, their new Thursday night tradition, and Alice rose, contentedly, stretching out her back, kissing him, and following him out to their garden where they sat at their patio table and unwrapped their dinner. Bear kept very close, his nose sniff-sniff-sniffing the air.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ Alice said, her legs stretched across Marco’s. ‘I’ve always been more of a summer girl than a winter girl, but there’s something about Switzerland . . . I didn’t know before that wintertime could be so bright and open and . . . warm.’
‘Mürren suited you a lot,’ Marco agreed, munching on half a chip and feeding the other half to Bear, who loved him more than anything else in the whole world right now.
‘I think it did. I felt like I got back to me there, but also transformed into someone who doesn’t want to hang around and wait for things to happen or ideas to slowly come to life any more.’
A smile was forming on Marco’s mouth, just slightly, in the very corners, like he could guess what was coming but didn’t want to assume.
‘So I think,’ Alice continued, ‘that maybe the mountains are calling, and we should answer, as they say. How would you feel about you and me renting a chalet there over this winter?’
It was a ‘yes’ before it was even a question. She’d known how happy this would make Marco, and there was nothing she loved more than his happy, beaming face. Well, maybe there was one face she loved the same amount, for the same reason.
Last summer, Alice had felt airless, lost in the woods. But in time, with her dog at her side and with a little help, she’d found her way up to the top of the mountain. And while she’d always be a little changed, the version of herself she’d found could see life stretched out before her.
Alice could breathe again.
There’s nothing wrong with being afraid.
It’s not the absence of fear, it’s overcoming it.
And sometimes you’ve just got to blast through
and have faith.
EMMA WATSON
Acknowledgements
And just like that, readers, here we are together, swooshing to the bottom of the mountain with a happy spray of snow sprinkling the air behind us. I really hope you liked my book, and if you’d like to read any more by me I have a little stack of romcoms published as Lisa Dickenson.
Just a few thank-yous to share now, if I could hold on to your attention for just a few more lines.
Firstly, thank you to wonderful Mürren and the welcoming people who live there. Special mention to Ema and the Eiger Guesthouse team, Constanze and the Café LIV team, Daniela and Nathalie and everyone at Mürren Tourismus, and Karleen and Nick who taught me about snowboarding, and about life in the mountains. This postcard-perfect village snuggled in a duvet of snow halfway up a mountain will always have a place in my heart now.
Thank you Agent Hannah and the Hardman & Swainson team for all your enthusiasm for this story, and for the great Alice in Wonderland visual which so perfectly summed it up!
Thank you Viola for all your help in bringing out the best of these characters and giving them life! And a huge thanks to the Lovely Beautiful team at Little, Brown Book Group, and the extended family they work with, in particular Thalia and Charlotte, and Bekki and Robyn. And an essential thank-you to beautiful blogger Simona for helping me with the Swiss-German!
Thank you to Gloria Steinem and to Nick and Jim at Vice for allowing me to use the quote that begins this novel.
I also want to say a warm, hygge-thank you to Meik Wiking for writing The Little Book of Hygge: The Danish Way to Live Well (Penguin Life). I read this be
autiful little book for research on ways for Alice to find little pockets of happiness, and it actually also ended up helping me through some tough times last year too.
Thank you Phil, the best dog dad, the best travel companion, and the best person ever.
My Paw & Order crew: Belinda, Holly, Bodie and Skipper, who make dog playdates absolute highlights.
Thank you Mum and Dad, and all the Gordons and Dickensons, for being you. And thank you Emma, as always, for testing out my words before I’m ready for others to read them!
To the teams at Jurassic Vets (especially Lovely Vet Peter) and Dogs Trust – thanks for teaching me how to raise a dog, and being very patient when it didn’t go to plan. And thanks Hayley and Beverley for introducing our doggo into our lives. You gave me plenty of fodder for this novel!
And finally, the muse for this novel: Kodi-Bear, my very own big, floppy, gigantic Bernese Mountain Dog. I hope you know how much you help life-worries drift away just by plonking a heavy paw on me and smiling. You’re more than a dog, you’re a heavy lump of happiness. Thanks for inspiring this novel; you can take over my side of the bed any time.