The Remnants

by T A Williams

Ben said nothing.

  “You told me once before that you felt like you were a child…why did you think that?”

  Ben shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Yes you do, you just don’t feel like telling me.”

  Ben sat down on the floor and rested his head against the wall. “Because I’m always scared. When the people who killed my brother came I hid. I didn’t try to fight I just hid under a bed.”

  “Being scared doesn’t make you a child.”

  The boy looked up at Mason and saw that the man was serious.

  Mason didn’t flinch. “Everyone feels fear, everyone gets scared, it’s human nature. Hell, I get scared all the time.”

  “You’re a soldier, you’re brave. You risk your life to save other people.”

  “I don’t disagree with any of what you just said but that doesn’t mean I don’t get scared.” Mason smiled at him. “If you don’t get scared you’re an idiot. Not feeling fear just means you’re too dumb to realize what situation you’re in.”

  “But-“ Ben started.

  “You can’t be brave if you don’t feel fear, being brave means acknowledging that you are scared but still going forward. Overcoming fear is necessary to be brave.”

  Ben let that sink in. He struggled to imagine Mason being afraid. The man was always cool and collected and nothing seemed to catch him off guard. Knowing the man got scared was strangely reassuring. “Thank you.”

  “It’s just the truth.” He sat there and continued staring at Ben almost as if he was waiting for the boy to say something else. Finally he let out a sigh. “I’m sure he is alright.”

  It took Ben a second to follow the change in topic but as soon as he realized what Mason was talking about his body tensed, he didn’t want to talk about him.

  “From everything I have heard your brother is tough. I’m sure he is still out there looking for her.”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Ben got up and started to leave.

  “What do you mean it doesn’t matter?”

  Ben stopped. He liked Mason, the man treated him like an adult and had managed to convince Jack to treat him like an adult, but there was a line. Mason didn’t know his brother. He didn’t know how Alec treated his father; he didn’t know how he had run away as soon as their father had been put into the ground. “He left me.”

  Mason sat up in the recliner. “How can you believe that?”

  It was easy because it was what he had done. “He threw my- our father into the ground and then he just left.”

  “To do what?” Mason asked.

  “Jack’s already talked to me about this,” Ben said angrily. “I know he said he is going searching for Ally, but there is no way he is going to find her. He left because it was easier.”

  “Remember when I told you that your actions determine whether or not you’re a man, not your age?” Ben nodded. “That is a prime example, taking action when your only choices seem impossible. If you were in his shoes and it came down to you going to search for Ally or staying with Joseph what would you have done?”

  That didn’t make any sense Joseph was dead, he started to say as much when Mason interrupted.

  “Sometimes you are presented with obstacles that force you to sacrifice something. You won’t know who you truly are until you are faced with the impossible. You can be mad at your brother for leaving you here but you have no right to be upset at why he left.”

  “He won’t be able to find her!” Ben yelled. He wanted to kick the walls, to scream at the top of his lungs and to throw the wood through the nearest window.

  “That shouldn’t stop him from trying. You told me earlier you hid when your house was attacked. If you had not hidden than chances are you would have been killed. If you could go back and do it all over again would you?”

  There wasn’t a day that went by in which Ben didn’t wish he could go back and fight. Reluctantly he nodded yes.

  “Just because your chances of success are slim doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still try, especially if it is the right thing to do.”

  Ben’s body sagged and a feeling of fatigue washing over his body. He rubbed his hand over his face and walked over and sat down on the ground next to Mason’s recliner. The man laid his hand on his head.

  “I’ve known you long enough to know that you’re a good person and a good person does what he can to help others. There is no doubt in my mind that if the roles were reversed you would be out there searching for your sister.”

  The young boy closed his eyes and let the emotion sweep over him. He was tired of being scared, of being mad, and most of all, of missing his brother.

  Alec

  For the first month Alec went out every few days to search for information on his sister. He was greeted with a gun in his face in one town, blank stares in another and the rest were abandoned. The few inhabited towns he had found all appeared to be on the edge of collapse, none were doing as well as this place.

  By the time the second month arrived they were all but out of gas. He had managed to siphon gas from abandoned cars when he was out but most of them were hovering near empty. He knew if he traveled further out he probably would be able to find more gas and continue his search but a part of him knew it was a lost cause.

  His sister was gone.

  At some point in time he had turned left while she was taken right. He had known when he left their home his chances were slim. He had known that every day he laid his head down without her next to him his chances got even slimmer. Yet he had refused to acknowledge how fruitless his search was and continued on.

  Now his days reminded him of their old house before his family had been torn apart. Every morning he would wake up and prepare for winter, which was knocking on their door. This consisted of cutting wood, tending the garden, and hunting for food.

  While a lot of the town still treated them like lepers they were beginning to make some friends. Jamie had become fast friends with another girl around her age named Tina. Tina’s mother, Gretchen, had taken quite a liking to her as well.

  Alec had been able to have civil conversations with Vincent, one of the men who had accompanied Malcolm when they provided their “protectors” with their payment. Vincent was, like all the men there, in his early 60’s. He had a short snow white beard that reminded Alec a lot of Santa Claus, if Santa Claus was a balding man who appeared to be anorexic.

  Trevor seemed to be getting along as well. His prior experience as a nurse made him a valuable member of their new society. While their medical supplies were all but non-existent his knowledge seemed to have a calming event on the town.

  “Lost in your own little world?”

  Alec jumped slightly. He hadn’t noticed Trevor come out of the house. “As always.”

  Trevor walked up beside him and stared off at the setting sun. “Peaceful.”

  Peaceful was the last thing from Alec’s mind. He barely noticed the calm breeze blowing over him or the crickets calling out in the tall grass. Trevor had been right; he was in his own world.

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know.” Alec already knew what he was asking. “Go home.” He had been able to find the town on the map and his home was nearly on the other side of the state. That probably would only have been a couple days journey back in the day, but things had changed, and he didn’t exactly have a vehicle to use, let alone the gas to make it. “You all are welcome to come with me.”

  “To your home?

  “Sure. Our house is big enough, and if you don’t want to live with us there are other abandoned houses all around.”

  Trevor was quiet for a moment. “What about these people?”

  Alec heard what Margie had said, part of him even understood where she was coming from, but he didn’t agree. He would much rather take off on his own and not have to gather food for a bunch of thugs who were too lazy to do it for themselves.

  Trevor didn’t wait for his question to be answered. “I don’t know
if I could just leave them.”

  They stood in silence and watched the sun slowly dip under the horizon.

  Alec turned to him. “You know this won’t last forever. And you know when it ends, it won’t end well. The people who are using them won’t always be satisfied with just food. They will end up wanting more than these people will be able to give them.”

  “I don’t think that is a good reason to abandon them.”

  “You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. You heard Margie, they don’t want heroes. Maybe they don’t realize things will go bad or maybe they are just choosing to ignore the obvious, but I’m not going to force them to change.”

  Trevor ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “I’m sorry that’s the way you see things going.”

  “Are you sorry that is how I see things going or are you sorry that I’m probably right?” Alec asked.

  Trevor laughed. “Honestly, probably a little of both.” His face grew serious. “I’m sorry that someone your age has such a dark outlook on life. And don’t take that personally. With what you have been through I can understand.”

  Alec didn’t take it personally because he didn’t believe he was wrong. He knew first hand that there were bad people in the world; people who, if allowed, would take from those weaker than them.

  “I’ll think it over. Are you planning on leaving before winter?”

  Alec had not given it a whole lot of thought. He wanted to leave as soon as possible but didn’t have the gas to make it even half way. “Probably not until winter is over. I need to find a vehicle and enough gas to make it.”

  “I’ll talk with Jamie about it. Even if we decide not to go, we’ll help you find a vehicle and enough supplies to get there.”

  Alec gave him a firm smile and thanked him. Trevor continued to talk to him about the day’s events but Alec had returned to his own world. He thought about all the things that he needed to do in order to get home, but more than anything else his thoughts wondered to his sister and brother.

  Jess

  The sun had crept over the horizon less than an hour earlier and the wind still held traces of the cold night that had just past. Jess found herself walking through the woods nearly a mile from the safety of the military base with Ally by her side and Gruff in the lead.

  Every alarm in her head told her this was a bad idea. Every instinct she possessed scolded her for trusting a man she barely knew, yet she followed. At first she wasn’t sure why. She had spent nearly two weeks around this grumpy old man and there was nothing threatening about him. He helped feed them, played with Ally and seemed to be a kind soul. Despite all this Jess couldn’t let go. She wanted to believe it was because something inside her could sense a hidden darkness inside him, but she had begun to realize that the darkness she discovered inside men previously was casting a shadow over all mankind today. This shadow had nearly caused Ally to starve to death in isolation and now threatened to push away a man who genuinely seemed to like them.

  Gruff paused ahead of them and held up a hand telling them to be quiet. Jess froze while Ally stood next to her with a large grin plastered on her face.

  The old man reached back slowly and pulled out a large handmade wooden bow from his back, followed by an arrow. He stood up straight, aimed, and let loose. The arrow sliced through the air and hit something in the far tall grass. Jess was sure the man had missed whatever he was shooting at but nothing fled from the area he had been focused on.

  Gruff turned to them and smiled. “Looks like we’re having a rabbit for breakfast.”

  Ally clapped her hands and skipped over to Gruff. “Good shot.”

  “A good shot, pocket rocket, would have wounded the rabbit and caused us to go chasing after it. That was a great shot.”

  Ally wrinkled her nose. “I didn’t even see the rabbit,” she said ignoring the newest nickname he had given her. “I thought people couldn’t see as well when they got to be as old as you.”

  “You don’t need to have good eye sight in order to see that rabbit, you just need to be more than two feet off the ground.”

  Ally let out a yelp like she had been struck and kicked out towards the man who avoided it easily.

  Jess smiled and followed them as they picked up their kill. Ally trusted the man and the two of them were quite funny together.

  “Why do you use a bow and arrow instead of a gun?” Ally asked.

  “That’s a dumb question.”

  “The teacher at the base said there aren’t any dumb questions.”

  “Only a dumb person would tell you something like that.” Gruff said smiling. “How many bullets does a gun have?” Ally shrugged. “Say I have a gun that has ten bullets and I shoot ten times then what?”

  “Then you need to reload dummy.”

  “What if I don’t have any more bullets? Look down, you don’t even know how to tie your shoes properly so I doubt you know how to make bullets.”

  “I can too tie my shoes.” Ally rushed the man who held her back with one hand laughing.

  “The point, my vertically challenged friend, is that a gun will run out of bullets and last I checked those are hard to come by nowadays. But look around, what do you see?”

  Ally looked around the clearing. “Trees?”

  “And what are trees made of?”

  “Wood?”

  “Exactly. Out here you can make as many arrows as you need and presto, you have a weapon that doesn’t require anything that you can’t get.”

  Ally looked to Jess and smiled as she put two and two together. “I want a bow, Jess can I have a bow?”

  Jess didn’t know what to say and looked to Gruff who gave her a look suggesting this moment was inevitable. “Uh, I don’t know if they make bows your size Ally?”

  The little girl stopped and eyed her, unsure if she was joining Gruff’s side in the ongoing battle of whether or not Ally was short.

  Jess laughed. “What I mean is that you would need a smaller bow then what Gruff has.”

  Ally turned to Gruff. “Will you make me a small bow, please, please, please?”

  Gruff laughed and nodded his head. “You will have to remember that a bow is not a toy. It is a dangerous weapon that can hurt you and the people around you if used incorrectly.” Ally nodded in agreement. “And you have to remember that just because you have a bow doesn’t mean you know how to use it or that you’ll learn how to use it overnight. It will take a long time before you get used to it and I don’t teach quitters, understand?”

  Ally was jumping up and down now but still nodded her head.

  Gruff looked out over the clearing and was in deep thought. “I’ll need you to gather the smallest twigs you can find.”

  Ally stopped jumping up and down and pondered what the man had said. As soon as Gruff started to smile she realized he was making fun of her again and rushed him.

  They continued their hunt just long enough for Gruff to nab another rabbit and then decided it was time to head back. Ally skipped around the outskirts just out of earshot but not far enough away that Jess felt uncomfortable.

  “She seems to be doing ok.” Gruff said softly next to her.

  “Yeah,” she agreed. “She’s a tough kid.”

  “Did you know her parents?” he asked.

  Jess started to answer and stopped, he knew she wasn’t Ally’s mother.

  “Don’t worry I’ve seen how you are with her.”

  “How did you know?”

  “You’re protective, as protective as any mother should be in this situation, but I’ve never seen you discipline the girl.”

  It made sense but she still didn’t see how that gave her away.

  “And,” he added. “You two don’t look anything alike.”

  Jess laughed as that made more sense. “What were you a Detective before?”

  “Nope, never really got along with the law to tell you the truth, but I’m a really good observer and listener.”

  “So based
on my lack of discipline and slightly different appearance you figured that all out?”

  Gruff gave a slight smirk. “That, and maybe Ally said something about how her mother used to like deer sausage before she died.”

  “That would probably do it.”

  They continued walking in silence for a few moments with the only sound being the rise and fall of the cicadas. The man said he was okay with it but she still didn’t know what she was supposed to say, then she realized she had not even answered his question. “No, I didn’t know her parents. I met her father for a second but never her mother.”

  Jess told Gruff how the girl’s father came to rescue her and how the little girl came to be in her possession. He listened intently and occasionally pointed out interesting things for Ally to go look at when she got too close. When she was finished he just shook his head and ran his fingers through his white beard a couple of times.

  “How are you doing after that?”

  The conversation suddenly shifted from being about Ally to herself. She felt the knot tighten in her stomach and it felt like the trees were closing in around her. She could smell the musty pieces of hay in her cell; she could smell her own unwashed body along with that of the woman in the cell next to her. They were going to come again because they always came again. All she could do is wait in the darkness, for her nightmare to start all over again.

  “Jess did you see that? That squirrel nearly fell from the tree.” Ally yelled.

  Ally snapped her back to reality and she waived at the girl. After a few moments she noticed she was breathing heavily. Gruff looked at her knowingly and once again shook his head.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Something about that was so simple and so pure she felt like she was about to break down. She waived the man away as he eyes began to tear up. “She said something about her mother getting sick but I’m not sure what from.”

  “So she has been through a lot, you both have.”

  “Yeah,” Jess said watching as the girl ran through the forest with a stick in her hand hitting any and everything that got in her way. “Yeah we have.”