Sophia's Gamble

by Hilly Mason

  Diana put the hand that wasn’t holding her parasol to her abdomen, to where another life stirred just beneath the surface of her skin. It all seemed so silly now; the idea of prancing about at balls, preening in front of men like she was one of the peahens that lived in her brother’s gardens.

  Did she really want to go through with this?

  What would be the alternative, an entire life by her lonesome with a child and no future?

  She braced herself for a wave of nausea caused by her nervousness, praying that she would not be sick in public. Sophia glanced her way, noticing her discomfort, and gave her a reassuring smile. She returned the smile with her own.

  “I’m all right,” she told her.

  Diana had warmed up to the other woman quite quickly after she had told Sophia that she was with child. Sophia didn’t react with shock or revulsion—or scorn, as her mother would have if she were to tell her. Instead, she was understanding, kind, and sympathetic. Diana felt poorly for her past prejudices against her brother’s new wife and had privately apologized to Sophia on the day of her wedding. Already emotional, Sophia had burst in to tears, embraced Diana, and told her how happy she was to now have a sister.

  So that nobody would suspect where they were going, Sophia had Widley’s footman drop them off two blocks away from the apothecary. It would have been further away, Sophia had told her, if it wasn’t so damned hot. Diana was thankful for that, although now the sweat was beginning to drip from under her arms in the most unpleasant way.

  The streets, she noticed, were bustling with soldiers in their crisp, red uniforms. Ever since Napoleon arrived in France in March, rumors of battle passed between the lips of every ball and social gathering in England. But now tensions seemed higher than ever. The faces of the soldiers appeared grim, and the city was on alert. It was as though everyone in London was holding their last bit of breath before fate decided whether their families would be torn apart once again by battle.

  The tense scene did not do well for Diana’s current disposition. Her stomach was still tightened into a sickening knot as they rounded the corner and stopped in front of a building.

  “This is it,” Sophia told her.

  Miss Baxter’s Apothecary and Fortune-Telling was painted in red, fading letters on the front of the building. Diana read the sign and gulped.

  “You didn’t tell me she was a witch,” she protested, fighting the urge to turn around and run back down the street. If the weather weren’t so miserable, she probably would.

  Sophia wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. “Do not worry. I will not let her turn you into a newt.”

  Diana’s eyes widened. She couldn’t tell if the other woman was jesting, but she hoped to God she was.

  “Let’s get this over with, shall we?” She pressed her hand firmly on her belly, as though the secret lingering beneath would flutter away at a moment’s notice. They walked up the small steps to the front door. A string of seashells hung from the alcove and clinked softly as they walked by, sounding like the bones of a skeleton rattling together.

  “She’s not going to turn you into anything,” Sophia reassured her, chuckling. “Miss Baxter isn’t very grandmotherly... but her heart is in the right place, I believe.” She rapped on the door and Diana just about jumped out of her slippers as the door swung open almost immediately. A tiny old woman peered at them suspiciously.

  “Who are ye?” she snapped, revealing her toothless gums.

  Diana glanced at Sophia in alarm and was disheartened to find that she looked just as easily confused.

  “Is Miss Baxter in?” Sophia asked, trying to peer behind the stranger.

  “Agnus!” The old lady screeched over her shoulder.

  Another old lady appeared at the doorway, looking even more ancient than the first. She was a bit taller and rounder around the waist, but her eyes and expression were still cold.

  “Sophia,” Miss Baxter barked. Was that a greeting? Somehow, she sounded more cordial than the first lady. “This is my younger sister. I’m teaching her how to run my shop once I’m good an’ dead.”

  An apprentice? At that age? Diana mentally shrugged, trusting that Sophia knew what she was doing.

  “It’s good to see you again, Miss Baxter,” Sophia told her.

  The old woman’s lips turned upward in semblance of a smile. She gestured toward the back of the shop.

  “Come in an’ sit.”

  Her apprentice slid back into the shadows as Diana and Sophia came in and sat down in the chairs by Miss Baxter’s worktable. The table was covered in herbs and a spilled liquid that look alarmingly like blood. Sophia, obviously more comfortable in this environment than Diana, immediately began to tell Miss Baxter of her adventures with the fake poison that ultimately saved little Annie.

  The old lady listened to the story with glee and chortled at the end of it. “A heavy dosage of buckthorn an’ slippery elm will get yer insides goin’ at alarmin’ speed.”

  “I was hovering over the chamber pot for nigh a week, and almost wished I really had been poisoned!” Sophia shuddered at the memory.

  Diana found herself smiling, remembering how she had ordered Alex to stay far from Sophia’s bedroom while she recovered. Obviously, Alex had been worried sick for the woman, but had assumed from Diana and Joyce’s deflecting comments, that what Sophia suffered from was one of the many mysteries of being a woman.

  When Sophia did recover, Diana was just on the other side of the door when she overheard her brother declare his love for the woman. Diana had never seen him look at anyone else the way he had looked at Sophia that day.

  A twinge of longing tore through her body like a dull knife. With her unplanned pregnancy, she doubted if she would ever find someone who would love her as much her brother and sister-in-law loved each other.

  She then realized that Miss Baxter was staring at her.

  “Ye want somethin’ to get rid of the baby growin’ inside you, don’t ye?” she asked her bluntly.

  Diana’s mouth dropped open. She glanced at Sophia, who stared at her expectantly. Yes, this was Diana’s decision—and her decision alone. Diana glanced down at her belly.

  I already know my decision, Diana thought. I knew it right from the beginning.

  But if she were to decide to go through with it, then her life would change completely. The thought of the unknown frightened her.

  Whatever happened, though, she would continue to love the child fiercely. Diana glanced again at her sister-in-law.

  Here is living proof that a woman does not have to do what society expects of them.

  “I’m keeping the baby,” she finally said.

  Sophia smiled at her, and the old lady leaned back in her seat and shrugged nonchalantly.

  “All right, then,” she said. “Would ye like to purchase any herbs to make the pregnancy a wee bit easier for yerself?”

  Diana exhaled slowly and nodded.

  The old lady bustled around the room, as fast as a lady of her mobility could handle, and handed her raspberry tonics and other herbs as she dictated instructions (which Sophia blessedly wrote down) on how to use them without harming the baby. Diana paid with coin, her mind still buzzing with the decision she had made.

  “Diana,” Sophia said. “Did you want your fortune read before we leave?”

  “Um…”

  “Readin’ yer future won’t set it in stone,” Miss Baxter explained. “It only gives ye a directional push.”

  Diana shook her head. “No, I don’t need you to tell me.”

  She already knew her future: she was going on a journey, perhaps not literally, but it would be a journey nonetheless.

  And you’ll be with me every step of the way, little one, she told her baby.

  Diana and Sophia said their goodbyes to Miss Baxter before leaving the apothecary.

  “How are you feeling?” Sophia asked as they walked back to the coach.

  “Well enough,” Diana said. �
��I feel as though I have made the best decision for myself. I do look forward to being a mother. I just hope... I can give the child a good life, despite the circumstances.”

  “With Alex, Annie, and myself nearby, I believe she will have a wonderful life.”

  “She?” Diana asked, raising her eyebrows high.

  “Oh yes... wouldn’t Alex just love having another female in the house?”

  Diana laughed. “I’m sure that would be the one thing to finally make him go mad!”

  She decided not to mention to Sophia that she knew in her heart that she was carrying a boy.

  Alex was waiting for them by the front door when they returned to Widley, his eyes bright with excitement.

  “What is it?” Diana asked suspiciously. “The last time I’ve seen you so gleeful you had just dropped my beloved doll in the lake—on purpose.”

  “Dear sister,” Alex said, mockingly shocked. “I’ve told you before I would never do such a thing again. Come, let us sit.”

  He led the two women into the drawing room. A few servants came in to set up tea. Alex took a cup of the warm drink and sipped it delicately, looking thoughtful.

  “Would you mind brining in those strawberry pastries as well?” he asked the servant. She nodded, curtsied, and left, leaving the three of them alone.

  “A pleasant day, isn’t it?” Alex remarked, smiling.

  Diana stomped her foot impatiently.

  “All right, Alex, out with it!” she demanded.

  His smile broadened into a grin. “I found a match for you. Someone has agreed to marriage.”

  “Marriage?” Diana said, like she’d never heard the word before. “Who? When?”

  “His name is Brodie MacNevin. He owns land in Scotland.”

  “Scotland?”

  “In exchange for marriage, we will give him a large dowry to save his lands from ruin. He has agreed to have the wedding ceremony next week, since he will need to travel back to his station in the Netherlands soon. Unless, of course, you want to remain unmarried…”

  She didn’t know if it was the early months of her pregnancy that made her light-headed or the sudden news, but she suddenly found herself lying on the chaise, fanning her warm face with her hand. As her vision grew dark, Alex and Sophia’s alarmed voices began to sound like bees buzzing in her ears.

  Next week? Dear Lord, this will be a journey, indeed!