Undesirable Mate

by Oliver, Lisa

  Phillip plopped on the couch and put his head in his hands. He was tired of it all – tired of feeling down about himself, tired of trying to appear normal within the pack. Dante pulled him aside just the day before and let him know that in the pack’s eyes he’d more than redeemed himself – both with what he’d done with Tristan and during the pack fight. “You’re mated now. It’s time to forgive yourself,” the kindly Alpha Mate said, and as Phillip sat in his lonely house, missing his mate and wishing he could turn back time a few hours, he knew Dante was right.

  Yes, he’d done a stupid thing. Yes, he’d allowed himself to be swayed by his need to see his brothers and parents again, and therefore betrayed Pearson’s trust. That was months ago. He’d been punished. As far as Pearson and Dante, and any of the other pack members concerned, the incident was over and forgotten by everyone but him. Ashamed, Phillip kept his head down, put twice as much effort into his job, and yet continued to berate himself in his quiet moments.

  Phillip remembered the night Kellen came for him in that club in Arlington. He slipped his hand under his shirt, feeling the base of his back. The scars had healed a lot, despite his not shifting after they were caused. Some of the faint ridges under his fingers were from Pearson the night of his punishment; some from the men he’d allowed to beat him months afterwards. He’d always have scars, and thank the Fates, Kellen didn’t seem to mind. After their first night together, Kellen never mentioned them.

  Kellen accepted them.

  Kellen accepts me.

  He sat up, his mind clear for the first time since he’d let his Alpha down. “Kellen accepts me, just the way I am.” The words were just as loud as his shout moments before. If anything, they seemed louder, but for the first time Phillip not only heard the words, he felt them.

  Kellen wasn’t a man who said things without meaning them. Phillip knew that much just from their time together. So when Kellen sent the three most important words into his head, just before the fight…. “He meant them!”

  Phillip felt his whole face crack in the biggest smile he’d had in ages. His mind started racing, but on something a lot more positive this time. He needed to get food in, change the bed linens, shower and then…what? Phillip stopped for a moment, and then his lips twitched again.

  He would wait, that’s what. He would wait, because Kellen was his mate, and if he didn’t arrive at Phillip’s door within the next thirty minutes, then Phillip would be out looking for him. It would take something urgent to stop Kellen from tracking him down. And Kellen would track him down, because he loved his mate. Loved and accepted him, warts and all.

  His heart feeling lighter, but fuller than it had in a very long time, Phillip bustled around the house. Kellen was coming, and he wanted everything to be perfect.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Kellen wasn’t sure what he’d find as he drew up in front of Phillip’s house. The place was set back from the road, and with plenty of natural coverage between his yard and the neighboring houses. As a fellow wolf shifter, Kellen could appreciate the need for safety and privacy. It seemed Phillip’s house had both. Kellen’s eyes were drawn to Phillip’s truck parked outside of the garage – did that mean his mate was in a hurry to leave again or had he been too distracted to put the vehicle away. Deciding it really didn’t matter, Kellen pulled his car in beside it. He was still driving the rental he’d got the week before and he knew he’d have to get it back to the agency at some point, otherwise his bill was going to be huge. After what had gone on, since Kellen had started his supposed mission, he had no qualms writing the account off to expenses.

  But all of those petty details could wait for another time. He wanted to see Phillip. He needed to see his mate. If necessary, he would fall to his knees and apologize until the sun set and rose again. Phillip had only been partially successful at blocking his thoughts; the frustration and anguish Kellen felt earlier through their bond had him frantic as he hurried to the house.

  The front door was open. Not much, but it was definitely open and both sides – his human and his wolf – feared the reason why. From his memory of the only other time he’d visited the house, the front door opened into a small hallway with the living room off to the left. Taking care not to make a sound, he slowly pushed the door open wide enough for him to slip inside and then stood, frozen, listening.

  Phillip was home, the strong scent of apricots tickled Kellen’s nose. If anything, Phillip’s scent seemed stronger than usual, and there were no other scents evident in the hallway. Afraid of what he might see, but unable to hear anything except the occasional car engine noises in the distance, Kellen carefully closed the door, and edged along the hallway, peering around the open door to the living room.

  At first glance he couldn’t see anyone. The room was comfortable, although like the bedroom Kellen remembered, there were no pictures, art or knickknacks anywhere. There was a rug, a large couch, a big television and what looked like DVDs on a shelf. The room had large windows, and from where he was standing Kellen could just see the edge of the kitchen counter. A small huff caught his attention, and Kellen’s eyes swept the room again and he caught the sight of a small grey wolf, lying on the couch. He told himself he only missed him the first time because the wolf and couch were similar colors.

  He stepped into the room. “Phillip?” Fuck, how silly. It had to be Phillip. There were no other scents in the house. Kellen crossed to the couch, his brain working quickly. This was why Phillip didn’t want to go running with Cain and Prism. Why he rarely ran with the pack. He sank down on the couch beside the silent wolf, and stroked Phillip’s back.

  “You’re a handsome-looking wolf, my mate, very handsome.” Phillip put his head on Kellen’s lap and Kellen scratched behind his ears. He wasn’t lying. Phillip was small for a shifter, but his coat was soft and clean, his teeth were strong, and he was surprisingly muscled for a wolf. Typically, grey wolves looked more like large dogs and Phillip was no exception, his legs not as long as a shifter’s were.

  Kellen laid his head on the couch back, his hands still moving through Phillip’s fur. “I could never imagine what it must be like being smaller than others of our kind,” he said softly, his fingers letting Phillip know he cared. “You know us alphas, all brawn, tiny brain. The bigger we are, the better, although personally I’ve never seen things that way.” Phillip chuffed softly, but for obvious reasons, didn’t say anything. Not even through their mind link. The quiet was peaceful, and with his fingers caressing Phillip’s fur, Kellen found it easy to talk, to share how he felt.

  “The fact that you made enforcer is freaking amazing. I imagine if a spot became available Pearson would hire me on the spot, all because of how big I am. I’m like a small horse in wolf form. And you know, the more I think about it, the more I see what a freaking dumb idea that whole line of thinking is. You got your spot because you fought for it, and clearly won against others bigger than you. That has to make you the better fighter. I bet Sebastian and Farren didn’t know what hit them when you beat their ass.”

  Phillip gave a small woof and Kellen laughed but then he got serious again, because this was his chance. His chance to let Phillip know he was accepted in every way, with fur or without. Despite his scars, or maybe because of them. Kellen wasn’t about to try and figure that one out. But he did accept Phillip right down to the black tip he had on the third claw of his right foot.

  “I meant what I said the other day. As you get to know me better you’ll know I have the romance skills of a gnat, and I’m never good with words outside of the negotiating table. I’m good at my job and I love what I do, but this, finding ways to let you know how much it means to me to have you in my life.” Kellen shrugged. “I’m not good at things like that. Like most guys I imagine. But,” he said looking down and meeting Phillip’s eyes that were now blue-grey. “I do love you. I accept you completely and I’ll fight anyone anytime who dares suggest you are anything less than the wonderful man I know you to be. Old Brian
from the council found that out today.”

  Phillip lifted and tilted his head, whining a little. “I didn’t kill him,” Kellen assured him, “and what’s more I know you’re more than capable of fighting your own battles, and probably some of mine as well. What I’m trying to say is that you’re it for me Phillip, and I’m prouder and happier than I’ve ever been, all because you’re in my life.”

  A telltale shimmer surrounded Phillip’s body and moments later Kellen had his naked mate in his arms. “I accept you, too,” Phillip said, dropping kisses all over Kellen’s face. He didn’t mind, it was actually quite nice, but now Phillip was in human form his head was consumed with only one thought. And then Phillip said, “I love you.”

  Okay. Kellen knew he had to pay attention to that; although it was difficult because if Phillip moved just one smidgen to the right then he’d find evidence of Kellen’s baser instincts concerning his mate.

  “I have problems with packs and don’t spend a lot of time in wolf form with the others because there’s always an idiot who thinks if they challenge me, then they can get an enforcers spot. I don’t have a problem with Cain and Prism, hopefully you know that. But I didn’t want you to be disappointed when you saw my furry form for the first time, and I didn’t want you to be embarrassed in front of your friends.”

  Kellen sniggered and then laughed. “Babe, I was bedding a ferret; a ferret my friends couldn’t stand the sight of. Cain and Prism might tease you a bit, and will probably want to play because they’ll think you’re cute, but trust me; they won’t be laughing at you. I know my friends better than that.”

  Phillip was like a statue in his arms, his eyes searching Kellen’s face, and Kellen let him. The truth of his words could be heard, smelled and seen, Kellen made sure of it. Then Phillip said with a low growl that sent shivers down Kellen’s spine to lodge firmly in his balls, “I’m not cute.” Hot lips on his, and strong fingers pinching his nipples through his shirt had Kellen’s blood pumping hard, most of it heading to his cock. And in the long afternoon that followed, Kellen was finally forced to agree that cute was not the word he’d use to describe his wonderfully strong, slightly small packaged, but loving and sexy mate.

  Epilogue

  Five days later

  Phillip was swamped in Pearson’s huge arms, his eyes suspiciously wet. He and Kellen were in the Alpha’s office, saying their goodbyes. After five days of talking, some serious loving, and a lot of laughter, plus a chat with Pearson a few days earlier; Kellen and Phillip decided to register their own mini-pack with the Council and were moving to Kellen’s home in upstate New York. He had a huge house, plenty of land; and with the Council’s approval they, plus Prism and Cain, would deal with rogue shifters and other paranormals. In other words, Kellen’s original job, but with four men instead of three. Apparently the Council listened to Kellen when he explained Phillip’s training and how helpful he’d been to the Washington pack. After a pile of papers was signed, Phillip had a new job, a new home and people he could call friends.

  Cain and Prism were already on their way home. From what he could tell, the two wolf shifters were happy they were now considered part of a pack, even though it was tiny. Kellen, of course, was going to be Alpha and Phillip found himself in a position he’d never even dreamed about – Alpha Mate. It was all a bit overwhelming. But in his heart, Phillip knew he and Kellen were doing the right thing.

  Unfortunately, it meant saying goodbye to the people he’d lived with for three years and that was harder than Phillip thought it would be. Pearson in particular – fuck, the guy had been more like a father figure than an Alpha, and Phillip would miss him. He managed an awkward hug, and then suffered the same from Dante.

  “Now Roger’s sorting your house and effects, yes?” Pearson asked.

  “Yep. He’s going to keep it empty until he hears of anyone who might need it. A few of the subs are struggling to pay rent and utilities, so I suggested Roger use his discretion and put four to six of them in there. It’s fully furnished and I won’t need much in rent to cover the expenses.”

  “You know he’ll keep an eye on things, and if you need anything,” Pearson regarded him with those dark eyes of his, “anything at all, you just pick up the phone, okay. This pack will always have your back, no matter what.”

  Phillip nodded this time. His throat had a huge lump and he was sure his eyes were going to start leaking any minute. Kellen, intuitive man that he was, quickly pushed forward, shaking Pearson’s hand, and then Dante’s and going through all the pleasantries that leaving another pack’s area entailed. Phillip slipped out of the office, only to find Cam and Roger, Kyle and Teric and even Ace and Devin waiting for him.

  “Hey guys, let’s not make a big deal about this, okay?” He said, not sure if he could keep his emotions in check much longer.

  “Just came to make sure you’re okay,” Teric said. “I know what these troubleshooter assholes can be like. You’ve got to hold your own or they’ll walk all over you.”

  Phillip thought back over the week he and Kellen shared and smiled. “I don’t think there’s too much danger of that happening.”

  “Yeah, well if it does, you call me. I’ve still got skills even if I’m a pack-cat now.”

  Phillip hugged Teric tight, for just a second, because no matter what, Kyle was still a possessive wolf. Kyle gave him a hearty handshake, as did Roger, Ace and Devin. Cam was last, and Phillip was surprised that Roger wasn’t still hanging onto him. The man took his duties as a protective mate seriously.

  “Are you happy Phillip?” Cam whispered as he moved in for a hug, standing on tiptoe so he could reach Phillip’s ear.

  “Totally,” Phillip whispered back. He was definitely happier than he had been in a long time.

  Cam smiled and stepped back, and Phillip figured he would head towards his truck. Kellen would know where to find him. He was just about out the back door, when he heard a voice yell out, “hold up.”

  He turned and saw Sebastian running after him and he stopped by the door.

  “Hey, I thought we said our goodbyes earlier.” Pearson had hosted a huge breakfast as the pack’s way of sending them off.

  “Is it true you and Kellen started your own pack, in Upstate New York?”

  “Yeah, we’re still working for the Council, but we’re going to be working as a team now with Cain and Prism. Why, you want to join?” Phillip was joking, but to his surprise, Sebastian nodded.

  “I’m thinking yes, if you and Kellen will have me.” Phillip wasn’t sure what to say. He liked Sebastian, considered him a friend and if the guy wanted to come and live with them, he didn’t have a problem with it and he didn’t think Kellen would either. He was curious as to why Sebastian would think about leaving the pack though. He was a permanent fixture at the club, with new boys in his lap every night.

  Sebastian must have known what he was thinking, because his grin was rueful as he said, “I know what you’re thinking. But the scene is getting old, or maybe I am. I don’t know. I just figure there must be more to life than just getting my rocks off and standing around guarding doors, you know?”

  “Is that the only reason?” Phillip already knew he’d say yes, but there was still something unexplained in Sebastian’s eyes.

  “I’m hoping to find my mate,” Sebastian admitted, looking down at the floor and scuffing his feet. “I never imagined one of the subs here as being mate material, and while I’ve had a lot of fun…”

  “More than most,” Phillip laughed.

  “More than most,” Sebastian agreed, “but I still think there’s something more for me waiting out there somewhere. I’m not going to find him if I’m stuck here. You guys will be traveling, meeting new shifters and other paranormals. I’d kinda like to be a part of that, if you guys will have me.”

  Phillip grinned. He liked Cain and Prism, and the love he had for Kellen was strong and infinite, but having another good friend in his new pack would be the icing on the cake. He and Se
bastian had always worked well together, Sebastian was a big shifter with solid fighting skills, and perhaps more importantly from Kellen’s point of view, the two men hadn’t slept together.

  “When did you want to join us?” He asked.

  Sebastian’s head shot up. “Two weeks,” he said quickly. “I’ll give Pearson notice, give him a hand filling my slot and yours on the enforcer squad and sort out my house and stuff. I can be there in two weeks. Does that mean you’ll have me?”

  “You know I’m going to have to check with Kellen first, but I know he won’t have any objections. My first official act, in my position as Alpha Mate of the newest pack listed with the Council is to welcome you as our newest pack member.”

  For the second time in less than ten minutes Phillip found himself swamped in big arms as Sebastian swirled him off his feet. He gave Sebastian a solid thump around the ears, and Sebastian let him go with a laugh.

  “Awesome, so, lots to do, but I’ll see you in two weeks, yeah?”

  “Definitely.” Phillip watched Sebastian saunter down the hall, probably heading for Pearson’s office. He passed Kellen who was heading towards him and the two men shared a shoulder bump as they passed.

  “What on earth was all that about?” Kellen asked, slinging his arm over Phillip’s shoulder.

  “We’ve got a new pack member,” Phillip said. “Hope you don’t mind, but Sebastian will be joining our ranks in two weeks.”

  “He’d make a good second,” Kellen said thoughtfully. “Hmm, we’ll see if he wants the position when he turns up.” Phillip looked up and saw Kellen looking at him with undisguised admiration. “Ready for your new life, with a new pack, in a new home, filled with wild adventures, heaps of dull waiting around times, and the occasional run in the forest?”