Consumed

by Leslie Sansom

  Maybe watching me model reminded him of watching his women with other men. Maybe this reminded him of how much he liked it. I cringed thinking this kind of thing could lead to other things too, but I walked over with a smile anyway.

  “Norah, darling you were perfect! We’ll see you in few days!” Phillip kissed me on my cheek and Liam wrapped his arm around my waist. He gripped me tight and pulled me out. We walked fast to the car. We climbed in the back and I was about to tell him how sorry I was when his phone rang. He took the call and we didn’t talk the whole car ride home. I just sat there listening to him talk and looked out the window. We reached the house and he grabbed my hand and practically yanked me in the house. He was still on the phone when he walked us both in the study, made himself a drink and then hung up. He didn’t say anything just drank down his drink very fast. He made another, drank it then turned to me.

  “There is absolutely no chance in hell you’re ever doing that again, so the bathing suit shoot is out!” he sounded pissed. He turned and made himself another drink. I wanted to say something, but thought it best I didn’t. “Do you have any idea how I felt watching them touch you, make you sit with that boy, and all while wearing a tiny silk nightgown? I seriously have no fucking clue what you were thinking! How could you do that to me?” Do that to him? What?

  “Excuse me? Do what to you? I was modeling, Liam, that’s what models do. What did you think I was going to be doing?” I didn’t like the modeling, but he had some nerve.

  “I didn’t think you would look like you were fucking another man that’s for damn sure! Why didn’t you stop it? Why didn’t you tell them you couldn’t model underwear or nightgowns?”

  “I’m sorry, what? I can’t model them? Says who? My Daddy? You’re not my father, Liam! You can’t treat me like a child!”

  “No, I am not your father, but I am the man, dammit! I am your man! I make the rules or haven’t we been through enough shit together for you to learn that by now?”

  “You make the rules? So we’re back to your game of the bastard slave driver, are we?”

  “Oh this is no game, sweetheart. Not. At. All. I set this up and now I am taking it away. Your modeling career is over, I hope it was fun!”

  “So what now? I’m just to sit in this house and be the little woman? See you off to work, have dinner ready when you get home and be ready and available in your bed at night? When do I start popping out kids?”

  “Watch your tone, little one!”

  “I can’t have a life? Or my life is whatever you want it to be, I guess, huh?” I didn’t want to continue modeling. But the idea that he started this and was now ending it without even asking me if it was something I wanted to do was infuriating. “I thought you wanted me to make this my home?”

  “I do. But you still have to do what I say!” Oh, that’s it!

  “Fuck you, asshole! You started this! I didn’t even want to do it, and I only went through with it for you!” He stepped closer to me and started to say something. I held up my hand to stop him from talking, and surprisingly he did. “But instead of telling me how beautiful I looked, or what a great job I did, you have to degrade me and make me feel bad! You can’t even ask me if this is something I even want to continue, instead you just bark orders and tell me I can’t do it anymore no matter what!” He looked down at the floor and then back up at me. “You didn’t even ask me if this is something I wanted to do. Because if you had I would have told you I didn’t like it. I didn’t like him touching me. I wanted to stop it but I didn’t know how. And I didn’t think it would be very professional.” He gave me a sexy little smirk.

  “Norah, you looked beautiful up there. You were such a natural. You did a wonderful job.” He was talking through his teeth. “How did you feel about it?” Cocky smartass.

  “I hated it!”

  “Good.” He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him and our mouths crashed together. We kissed each other hard and fast. We shed our clothes and were on the floor in thirty seconds. We barely touched each other before he was inside me thrusting hard.

  “Why do you make everything so hard?” He pumped harder. “You like to provoke me even when we are on the same side,” he panted.

  “Stop talking.”

  “Who’s barking orders now, little one?” I rolled on top of him and took over.

  “I said, stop talking!” I closed my eyes and rode him to my orgasm.

  Chapter Five

  Liam

  It had been a week since the photo shoot and our relationship was starting to resemble a somewhat normal couple. We worked out in the gym together, we ate breakfast together, she kissed me goodbye and I went to work. While I was at work she shopped, rode my horses, visited spas, and even took care of little Josefina sometimes. She met me at the door every evening, we always had a lovely dinner together and at night she was always in my bed….or in my basement. My mood usually determined where we would end up. If I had a difficult day, she would end up tied up or tied down to something. With a lot of coercion she had finally started to enjoy being restrained and even blindfolded by me. It took an immense amount of trust on her part, but her need to make me happy won out over all things. If I had a calm day of negotiations then we would end up in our bed making sweet love all night.

  I was undoubtedly the happiest I had ever been in my life. But I could sense my little one was restless.

  “Jane called me today,” she said over dinner.

  “She did? What did she want?” I asked.

  “She said Will had told her I had returned to London, and she said she wants to see me.” She wasn’t making eye contact with me.

  “Is that something you want?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?” I took her hand, silently asking her to look at me. She slowly lowered her head and turned in my direction.

  “I mean, I thought Jane was a reminder of a bad time for you….for both of us. Do you really want to see her?” She still wouldn’t look at me. “Please look at me Norah,” I huffed impatiently. She looked up.

  “I don’t have any friends here. I spend more time with Rosa than anyone else, and I can never understand her.” I chuckled. “Jane is the closest thing to a friend I have here. And you still work with Will. If you were able to forgive him, then why can’t I see Jane?”

  “Well I didn’t say you couldn’t see Jane, I asked you if you wanted to see her.”

  “And Will and I work together, we don’t see each other socially. I have not completely forgiven him.” I could see the sadness in her eyes. “What is this about Norah? If you want to see Jane, I certainly am not going to stop you, but I sense there is something else going on here?” She shifted in her seat, lowered her eyes and started to say something in a low whisper. “While I love the submission, little one, I can’t hear you. We’re having a conversation Norah, please look at me and speak in a reasonable tone.” She looked up and cleared her throat. I couldn’t imagine what in the world had her so uneasy. Norah submitted to me naturally, but she still had a confidence about her, she never coward like this.

  “Well I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I got here….about things.”

  “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to do here. We both agreed modeling wasn’t for me, but I would like to do something. All I do is workout, shop, eat, and sleep in your bed.”

  “There has to be some way I can contribute other than taking up space, eating your food and spending your money.”

  “I have a lot of money, I don’t mind if you spend it, Norah. You know that.”

  “Yes, you’re very generous. But I would like to pull my own weight, make my own money, and do something with my time.”

  “So my money isn’t good enough for you?” I took a sip of my drink.

  “That isn’t what I said, Liam. And I have no illusions of making enough money to pay for even close to half the expenses around here,” she paused.

  “So no
w not only is my money not good enough for you, but you want to help me pay the bills too? I see. You’re really hitting below the belt now, little one. Are you saying you don’t like me taking care of you?” I got up and made myself a stronger drink. I kept my back to her.

  “That isn’t what I said, stop putting words in my mouth. I just want to contribute. I have a college degree, ya know.” I could hear her timid voice had changed to something more assertive. I could also tell she had stood up too. I turned to look at her.

  “I always thought that I would have a career, establish myself financially before I became involved in a serious relationship.”

  “The hits just keep on coming, don’t they little one? Now you not only want something else to do with your time, but you want a career? So I assume that means you will want a high level job at some fortune 500 company, which I can get for you, that isn’t a problem. But you will be working late and become tired and moody. That means less fun for me, little one. You will have less time for me, less time for us, and I don’t like that.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  “First of all, I would never ask you to use your name to get me a job! You did the modeling thing on your own! If you had asked me, I would have told you I didn’t want to do it. Second of all, I no longer have aspirations of being a corporate tycoon such as yourself. I am quite aware that my caveman boyfriend would never allow me to take a job that would prevent me from standing at the door we he comes home from work! I just want something to do with my time, dammit! I can volunteer somewhere even, work with kids, wait tables or walk dogs! I just need something else!”

  “So I’m not enough for you now? This assault of yours knows no limits! And if you honestly think that Liam Hastings’ girlfriend is going to be walking dogs, well you don’t know me very well!” She walked closer.

  “Stop this! Stop it right now! Why does everything have to be an argument? Yes, you’re enough for me, you stupid egotistical jackass! Can’t you just give me this! Let me have something besides you? I have made my whole world about you, you know you are everything to me! I love you, dammit! Just let me have this too!” I could see how important this was to her. Norah had given up her entire world for me. I wanted her by my side at any cost. I didn’t want to think of my life without her. We had been apart long enough. But I could see she needed this.

  “Fine, little one. But I have the final say on where it is that you work, and how much you work. And if I see it affecting our relationship, then it’s over!” She wrapped her arms around my neck.

  “I didn’t think it would be any other way, sir.” She kissed me lightly on my lips. “See that wasn’t so hard, was it?” She had no idea how hard it really was going to be for me to share her with the outside world.

  Deep down I still had this horrible and unshakeable feeling that one day she was going to wake up and realize she was so much better than me. That everything she had to give up and become accustomed to by being with me wasn’t worth it.

  The next day I couldn’t get our heated discussion out of my mind. While I loved having Norah at my complete disposal, I wanted her to be happy. I didn’t like her being scared to tell me things.

  “Hello?” she answered her phone.

  “Hello, this is your stupid, egotistical, jackass of a boyfriend calling to apologize…..again,” I whispered in the phone. I could hear her breathing. “Norah, I can’t stop thinking about our argument at dinner last night.”

  “Really? That is a shame, because I can’t stop thinking about what we did after dinner in the basement last night,” she laughed.

  “Yes, that was fun. I told you the swing would be entertaining,” I smiled briefly. “Look, it was wrong of me to insinuate that being at my beck and call all the time would be enough for you.”

  “And I am truly sorry for making your need to find something for yourself about me and my money not being enough for you.”

  “Liam, it has never been about your money, you have to know that.”

  “I do know that. I love that the smallest things make you happy and that you cringe when I tell you to go shopping for a gown to attend one of my events. It is just not the behavior I have been use to in my life. Usually everyone wants something from me, or for me to do something for them. And I guess I am still struggling with you loving me after all I have done to you.”

  “Well stop struggling, I love you, you big caveman!”

  “The reason I called is because…..” I paused and took a deep breath. “If having a career is something you really want then it is something I want for you. I won’t use my influence but I will give you a list of contacts in your field if you will allow me.” I paused again and shuffled some papers on my desk as a nervous reaction. “I am not making any promises about my behavior while I adjust to you having a corporate schedule, but I promise that I won’t interfere.”“I just want you to be happy.” I waited for her to say something. The silence was deafening. “Please say something,” I begged.

  “Do you even know what my field is?” she asked.

  “Yes. Marketing and finance.”

  “Hmm, I didn’t know you actually listened to me during our late night talks.” I could hear her talking with someone in the background.

  “Where are you?” I asked.

  “I’m having lunch with Jane.”

  “Has she been a witness to this entire humiliating conversation for me?”

  “No. She was in the bathroom for most of it.” Then I heard her excuse herself from the table. “While I appreciate this what I assume is a very temporary moment of treating me as your equal, having a career in marketing or finance is not something that interests me anymore. I have done some thinking today and decided that since I don’t have to take care of myself financially at the moment, I should do something I really care about.”

  “I found something that does interest me, but I would rather talk about this tonight, in person. Can you wait until then?” I laughed a little.

  “As long as you are not leaving me or becoming a traveling salesman, yes I can wait.” We ended our call but I couldn’t stop thinking about her words, ‘at the moment’. Did she think our relationship was temporary? Did she want to do something she cared about now because she assumed in the future we would not be together and she would have to make a career in her field? I had asked her to marry me in the past out of fear of losing her, and she always called me on it. But did she truly think I didn’t want to be with her forever? I tried to put it out of my mind and decided I would address the topic later.

  I went back to work and was actually able to get work done. I was relieved to have this disagreement behind us. Norah rarely asked me for anything, but when she did I always took it the wrong way and jumped to conclusions about her feelings for me. I had to stop relating every emotion she had as a reflection of her feelings for me.

  She smiled while she helped Rosa put dinner on the table that night. She smiled while she ate and commented on how delicious dinner was and that she hoped I liked it. I nodded and tried my best to hold my tongue. She grinned while she asked Gerald for seconds on the Spanish casserole she helped make. When she still hadn’t said anything by dessert, I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Norah, if you don’t start talking soon, I think I’m going to blow a gasket.” She smiled and touched my hand. She took a deep breath and started talking.

  “Well I have decided I want to be a bartender at the sports pub across the street from your office,” she paused and I was waiting for her to tell me she was joking. The girls in that pub barley wore shorts and their t-shirts were so tight you could see their nipples. And it was always chilly in there. When she didn’t immediately recant, I closed my eyes and started to breathe harder.

  “Oh calm your gaskets, Tarzan. I’m not about to flaunt my lady parts for anyone except you. I was kidding.” I opened my eyes and she was smiling.

  “It’s the library on Porchester Road.”

  “The Paddington Library?” I asked. �
��What will you be doing there?”

  “Whatever they need help with. I’ll be restocking books, helping at the information counter, ya know, whatever they need me to do.” She shrugged her shoulders.

  “And this is what you want to do? This is your big career? An assistant at the library?” I chuckled a little.

  “I didn’t say it was a dynamic, mind blowing, career move. I said I wanted to do something with my time. I love books, you know that. This is something I can do that will make me happy.” She took my hand again. “I can work there a few days a week, and still see you off to work every day, be home for you in the evening, and be in your bed at night.”

  “Well, I do like the sound of that.” I put my elbows on the table and leaned my chin on my knuckles. “Will you get paid to do this kind of work?”

  “Yes. Not very much, but a little.”

  “Well I’m not going to ask exactly how much, but is it enough for you? I mean, is it what you want?”

  “Liam, this isn’t about the money, you know that. I just want to feel like I’m doing something. While I’m living this all expenses paid life, I can save this money for the future.” I wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but I intended to ask her.

  “Well I have plenty of things you can do, and I pay very well.” I laughed and smirked at her.

  “Well sir, if you play your cards right, I’ll be able to work at the library and still do my best work for you when I get home.” I leaned closer to her and kissed her lightly on her lips.

  Norah

  My first day at the library was very busy, but so rewarding. I was given a tour by Margaret Harris, my supervisor. I filled out paperwork for about an hour and had to call Liam to answer questions about 401ks and insurance. I was given a short orientation on how to use the computer and handle questions at the front desk. Then I was paired with Tim, who showed me how to re-shelve the books.