'Well if I am right, it means that somehow I ran out of energy almost at the end of my transition through the portal. It would make sense that I would need enough of an energy boost to get me going again to pull me through into this plain. Although I know there are various ways to gather energy, I know of two ways to gather the amount of energy we need quickly. One is by fighting, but it has to be an actual fight, and that's where the pain part comes in. You would have to have the energy pummeled into you, in other words you'd have to get beat up, your body weak enough that my body could easily slip through you into your plain, and the energy would be pushed through you into me. The second is the least painful but for you the most embarrassing; it is sex; you'd have to have sex with me, in front of everyone, and no one can leave, because they would be creating a circle around us to concentrate the energy flow. I think that is actually going to be the most effective way to do it,' Jo said quietly. She looked at Grayson studiously waiting for his reaction.
Grayson felt his face go white then tomato red, his whole head was red not just his face, and when he looked at Harry he looked just as red.
Oh! You better not be imagining it dude!
"I am not doing that Jo, I rather get beat up," Grayson said to Jo.
'Well you have to tell Sheila what I said because she is the expert in this kind of stuff,' Jo said and pointed at Sheila; Grayson sighed.
Why me? This is so embarrassing.
"Jo said that the first way she thinks might work quickly is fighting, I actually have to get beat up, with every blow I would get energy, pummeled into me, and with my weakened state she might be able to come through. I am not doing the second one so I refuse to say what she said," Grayson said stubbornly, Harry was looking at Grayson sadly.
'Gray you have to tell her all of it or all the information won't be right. She'll be missing a piece of the puzzle. If you are going to help me then you have to do it right. You can't half ass this Grayson Phillips.' Jo's voice was stern, and she had slipped into her Mother mode.
How did she expect him to have sex with her when he saw her as a Mother? There was just no way, it was just wrong no matter which way you looked at it; it wasn't just a matter of embarrassment.
"God Damn it Jo, I can't do that! You're like my Mother; I refuse to have sex with you. NO! Beat me up if you have to, but there has to be another way if that doesn't work, find another way," Grayson said loudly; that was the second time he'd yelled at Jo and lost his temper, he was getting mad.
Harry bowed his head sadly. Eric, Phoebe, and Matt stared with their mouths half open. Sheila was the only one that remained calm and seemed to be contemplating what Grayson had yelled.
"Actually Grayson, by the way can I call you Gray I like it better? I think that my Mother is correct in her assumption that sex would be the best and easiest way though it would be better if we were all in the room forming a connective circle around you to concentrate the energy flow. It would be the least harmful to you as well. By connecting all the people that are either connected to her by blood or can see her it completes the circle and creates a connection that would allow my Mom to come through completely. That would be the easiest and most effective way; the fighting I think is a long shot," Sheila said calmly.
"I am not having sex with Jo! How would you feel if you had to have sex with your Mom?" Grayson asked.
"Well if that was the only way, I would do it. In the end the most important thing is to get my Mom to us safely and in one piece," Sheila said still calm and collected.
She was being logical about it; he'd thought that Phoebe was the logical one, but it appeared that Sheila could be just as logical and analytical about it.
"You would have sex with your Mom? Would either of you?" Grayson asked pointing his finger at Eric, and Matt.
"If I had no other choice, yes, I would have sex with my Mom," Eric said; Grayson turned to Matt.
"Oh, I've already had sex with Jo, it's actually quite amazing," Matt said in a laid-back, matter-of-fact tone.
Grayson stared at him in complete shock and disbelief; they were a bunch of crazy people. Grayson turned to Harry.
"What do you think?" Harry looked at Grayson for a second and then bowed his head.
"My first priority would be to get her out safely; my next would be dealing with the embarrassment and trauma of having had sex with someone that I considered like a Mother to me. However, if I loved her like a Mother, then there would be nothing I wouldn't be willing to do for her. I guess it just comes down to how you feel about it. However gross it may be, if it were your real Mother, seeing as how she works so hard for you, would you not do anything for her if she asked it of you?" Harry asked in a quiet voice.
Now Harry was being logical about things too. Grrr! No matter how hard he tried to deny it Harry had put it in a way that he could not ignore, but still.
Grayson sighed, really trying to contemplate what Harry had said and asked. Were they all demented? No matter which way you looked at it, they all seemed way to ok with this. Was he over reacting? He would eventually give in, when it came to helping his Mother, Jo, or Harry he had never held back, but this was just mean to ask of him. She knew that if that was the only other way to do it he would eventually give in, which meant that Jo was forcing him into it.
"Isn't there any other way Jo?" Grayson said almost crying from the frustration and anger. He was so fucking pissed and he never liked feeling cornered.
'I'm sorry Gray; if I could think of any other way that this could be done than I would have suggested that first. I know you're mad but save having sex with Harry, who I would use as a conduit, and I would have to take over his body the way I do yours, obviously with his consent, there really isn't any other way. Knowing you, I know you are going to try the fight method first, but at least consider the other way. I love you honey and I love always being with you, but I would really like to go back to my normal body.' Jo said sadly bowing her head and sighing.
Harry's head had snapped up at the mention of Grayson and him having sex. Harry's face went from red to white to red again and Grayson gave him a look that said mention it and you're dead. Grayson had felt the blood drain from his face at the mention of having sex with Harry as well. Honestly, so he had to have sex with either Jo, who was like his second Mother, or Harry, who was his best friend, and who liked him in that way, and either get a penis shoved up his ass or do the shoving, all in front of everyone!
Was there anything else completely and utterly degrading that someone could add to his plate of obligations? Damn it, this just wasn't fair! He was willing to have a romantic relationship with Harry but he wanted to do it at a normal pace not go straight for sex, first thing. Not to mention, neither of them had asked the other out and Grayson's feelings still confused him. He liked Harry, more than as just his best friend, but it was all so confusing and he really didn't want to hurt Harry anymore.
"I need a minute; this is just a little too much for me right now," Grayson said and went out onto the veranda off his room. He sat down, put his head in his hands, and sighed heavily as he heard Jo's steps behind him.
'Gray, are you going to be ok? If you don't feel that you can do this, I understand. I won't ask you again if you say you can't do it.' Jo said, sitting down on the chair next to him and placing her hand on his knee.
‘Can I tell you a story Gray? Like I used to when you were a little boy and you couldn't go to sleep?’ Jo asked Grayson; Grayson nodded but remained silent.
‘Well you were crying because you missed your Dad, you were seven years old, your Dad had just died a few months prior to that. I remember this time particularly well because I was about to tell you a story and your Mom walked in because she heard you crying, so she laid down and hugged you and sang to you. At that time, I could feel her pain and sorrow; she was worried about you and I sympathized with her being a Mother myself. Therefore, I sat down and placed both your heads in my lap, and sang the lullaby that she was singing with her. I remember th
at time because that was the first time your Mother saw me; she wasn't surprised, she only smiled at me and said thank you. You had fallen asleep in her arms; we had a conversation then, I told her about myself, and about how I thought you had saved me. She was so proud of you; her little boy the savior, she called you. Since then we've talked a lot; most times when I wasn't with you, I was with her. I don't know how it is that she could see me, but about one year ago she stopped being able to see me, I don't know why that is either. I've tried everything, but nothing works, I am almost positive it has something to do with you,’ Jo said, she paused for a moment and took a deep breath then continued.
‘I want you to understand something my darling Grayson. I really do see you as one of my children, and I understand that the thought of doing that with me is not normal and, well it's gross. Above all else, my children in there and you and Harry are my life. I love you all, and I can't bare thinking of anything seriously hurting you. Please don't make yourself sick over this. As you said there have to be other ways, we just have to work hard to find out what they may be. I think with Sheila's help we can find some other way of bringing me through.’
Jo finished speaking; she was trying to put him at ease, trying to relieve his stress.
"Jo, were you serious earlier, about taking over Harry's body and having sex that way? I can't even begin to understand how that would help the situation, or I should say I don't want to understand," Grayson said.
'Yes, I was, if I take over Harry's body, the connection would be more intense, because my actions would be through a physical body. I think it might be easier if Harry was on top, simply for your benefit. However, we would have to consider Harry's feelings in the matter also; he is in love with you after all. He may not want to have sex with you himself, or if he did he may want to be on the bottom,' Jo said.
"By top and bottom you mean the one taking it and the one giving it right?" Grayson asked with a wary look on his face, Jo nodded and laughed
'Yes honey,' Jo said with an amused look on her face.
“You really shouldn't be so mean to Harry, he's my best friend, and I don't want to hurt him. Isn't it a little mean to give him hope in a situation like this? Even if we were to have sex, it doesn't mean that anything else like that will ever happen again, or that we'd be anything other than best friends. I don't know if I could handle going out with a guy, but I am willing to try going out with him because it's Harry.” Grayson sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
“I am still very confused about my own feelings, plus this would be an action committed out of pure necessity and it would demean the action because of his feelings. I can't bare the idea that I wouldn't even be able to talk to him or that he might go away because of something like that. He's really the only true friend I have aside from you Jo; I can't bear to think I would hurt him again. It's been a lonely two years; instead of Harry, couldn't it be Phoebe or Sheila?" Grayson asked Jo, his head was still in his hands, he lifted his head to look at Jo, and saw Harry standing at the open door to the veranda staring at Grayson and Jo.
He looked like he was going to cry; why? How much of their conversation had he heard? Had he heard him ask if it could be one of the girls? Harry turned, bowing his head and walked out of the room grabbing his backpack on the way out. Shit! Even if they weren't to have sex, he was still his best friend, and they had a history and god damn it, just because he was confused didn't mean he wasn't willing to try. He wasn't going to let Harry just leave and not talk to him again all because of a misunderstanding.
"Shit! Harry wait," Grayson jumped up and ran after Harry. Why was this turning into a melodrama? What were they, girls?!
Grayson followed him down the stairs, jumping the last six steps and finally caught Harry by the arm, stopping him.
"Harry! Hey, wait! Why are you taking off like that?" Grayson asked standing in front of him and blocking the way to the front door.
"There is really no reason for me being here; I have been following you all day because Jo and you asked me to, but I am of no use in this situation. You don't need me, except maybe to have sex with me, and then to throw me away. You would be better off if you could use Phoebe or Sheila, it's a shame you can't. I may be many things Gray, but I am not so low as to let myself get used, and then discarded like yesterday’s trash; I have more self-respect than that. I will help you in any other way, but I will not have sex with you unless you actually feel something for me. Even then, I'd do it simply because you were my best friend, and because I love Jo too," Harry said.
Grayson bowed his head, sighing heavily; so he had heard, and he'd also misunderstood.
"Harry, I would never force you to do something like that, and I do not discard people like that. I may not like guys the way you do, but if you are my friend, you are my friend, and to me you have never stopped being my best friend, even if you were the one that abandoned me. I treasure the few friends I have, Jo has taught me well; Loyalty above all else; you know all of this. Did you ever stop to think how I felt about all of this? Do you understand how I really feel about you? Did you actually hear everything I said or only part of it? I said I don't want to hurt you like that; I still remember what you told me sophomore year, I never wanted to hurt you or to lose you and you never gave me a chance to process what you told me. Please Harry, don't go; believe it or not, you have made me feel better today; I felt like you had never stopped being my friend. You haven't left my side, and I felt a little better today because of that; please don't go, please be my best friend again," Grayson said pleadingly at the end.
Harry's face crumpled, and he sighed heavily, blowing air out, then he started crying silently, sitting down on the bottom step of the stairs and bowing his head again, the tears still flowing down his face. Grayson crouched down in front of him and rested his head on Harry's shoulder. He knew how this would look, completely gay, but he didn't care. Harry was his best friend, and he didn't deserve Grayson using him like that when he had always been honest with Grayson, he deserved nothing less.
"Gray you don't fight fair," Harry said quietly wiping away tears.
"I'm sorry Harry; I wish I hadn't hurt you before and now, this is all so damn confusing and frustrating. My feelings are all discombobulated, I don't know what I feel anymore, but even if I don't swing that way, I never wanted it to be this way, and it doesn't mean that you can't find a good guy that will cherish you for who you are. Please don't get discouraged, we'll figure this all out," Grayson whispered, Harry sighed heavily.
"Gray you still don't get it, do you? I am not necessarily gay; I don't find other guys attractive, it's just you that I love; not because you are a guy, but because it's you. I wish I didn't feel this way, but you know Gray, I tried liking other people. I went out with a couple of girls, and even another guy, but I really didn't feel any attraction to them. They were nice and all, but there were no feelings like what I feel for you. I'm sorry I abandoned you, I know it's not your fault; I know it's not every day you have a guy confess that he loves you, especially your best friend. I just couldn't face you; I was hurt and embarrassed," Harry said and paused, then asked in a very small voice,
"Gray can I ask you something?" Harry lifted his head, looked at Grayson, and then ducked his head shyly again.
"Yeah," Grayson answered.
"It was Jo who I kissed sophomore year wasn't it?" Harry asked in a small voice, his question made Grayson tense up a little.
"Yes it was, she took over my body and let you kiss me." Grayson admitted.
"I know this is unreasonable, but would it be ok if I kiss you? If I am going to give up then I at least want to think that I got a real kiss from you," Harry said; his voice was so small that Grayson barely heard him, but he caught every word.
Damn it! Why was everyone asking these kinds of things of him today? It's as if they were testing him, to see if he was willing to do the almost impossible. Well out of everything he'd had to do that day, he guessed Harry asking him
for a real kiss wasn't the worst. If he was willing to try going out with him, then kissing shouldn't be such a big deal. He turned his head a little and saw the imprint of a huge hand on Harry's throat.
That giant dude had bruised his throat when he'd lifted him by it; he wouldn't have that if he hadn't been with Grayson. Well if it helped Harry feel better about all of this it couldn't hurt right?
Wow, how bad had things gotten, when he thought that kissing another guy couldn't hurt? Well that wasn't really fair, Harry was special, and that's what Grayson was afraid of; what if he liked it? It had turned him on before, what if that happen this time as well? He had a bad feeling about this.
"Um, yeah I guess," Grayson whispered, turning his head to look at Harry.
Harry didn't waste much time, he turned his head as Grayson lifted his head and cupped the back of Grayson's head and neck and leaned in, touching his lips to Grayson's. Lifting Grayson's chin, Harry deepened the kiss making Grayson lose his balance, and fall back, and Harry followed. Harry landed on top of Grayson; since Harry had been leaning into the kiss, he lost his balance along with Grayson. Now Harry looked like he was going to cry again.
What the hell; hadn't he gotten his kiss? Was he sulking because it hadn't lasted long or maybe because it hadn't really been a proper kiss? Grayson wasn't skilled in kissing, Harry had been the only one to kiss him, and well it hadn't really been he that had gotten kissed, but Jo.
Grayson sighed again; he was sighing more today day than he had his whole life. Well if he was going to do it then he might as well do it right. Grayson stood up and grabbed Harry by the hand and pulled him into the guest room that was under the stairs. He closed and locked the door behind them.
The Sentinels The First and the Second (second edition) Smashwords edition.doc Page 4