by May Dawson
“I will. I’m going to take the couch.” He fixed me with a stern look. “No snoring.”
“I have seasonal allergies. It’s not my fault.”
It doesn’t matter how badass you are. Pollen will still make you into her bitch.
I glanced at the couch, which looked hard and narrow. “Just come sleep in the bed with us. It’ll make it weird if you don’t.”
“Trust me, on-the-couch is not the sleeping arrangement that’s weird,” he said. “The four of us are going to cuddle up in one bed?”
“I bet you’re a good cuddlier,” I said. “If you let yourself be.”
My voice came out light and teasing. But Cade still looked at me hard.
“What are you trying to do here, Deidra?” he asked me quietly.
The sounds from the loft were the faintest, deepest sounds of breathing. I already knew Nix passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow. Apparently, Tristan also slept the sleep of the innocent, strangely enough.
“I don’t know,” I said, which was the truth. “I just don’t like the idea of you being on your own.”
“I’m not on my own just because I don’t sleep in the same bed as you,” he said. “I know that.”
I wasn’t convinced that he did. Heck, I wasn’t sure it was even true.
I didn’t want to choose Nix over Cade and Tristan. I didn’t want to choose at all.
“We’re a team,” I said.
“Right.”
I drummed my fingertips on the table. It didn’t feel like it was as simple as that, no matter how much he tried to convince me.
“I can’t sleep anyway,” I said, pulling one of the books toward me. “It’s too early. Let me help.”
Together, the two of us flipped through the paper-thin pages, reading about spells and their countermeasures. We composed a list of what Truby was most likely to use against us and what wards would provide the most protection.
It was late when he abruptly pushed back from the table and headed to the wood stove. He threw another log onto the fire, but from the tension in his posture, that wasn’t really what had driven him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I just hate this,” he said. His back was to me, and when he raked his hand through his hair, the muscles in his back rippled with the motion through his fitted t-shirt. He hesitated before he clarified, “You and Tris heading into danger.”
“We’ll be fine,” I said. “Have a little faith.”
He turned to me with a dour look on his face. “I’ve already lost friends in our war with the witches. Grown Hunters. It’s not faith that’s an issue.”
Before I even realized what I was doing, I was on my feet, crossing the distance between us.
His pupils dilated when I reached him, even though nothing else about his expression changed.
Typical Cade. I bet he wanted me as much as I wanted him, but only his eyes betrayed him even a little bit. He looked as relaxed as ever.
He loved Tristan so much. It was hard to see sometimes, with all Cade’s bullshit, but that love was deep.
“I’ll bring him back,” I promised. “I won’t let him get hurt.”
He hesitated. I worried for a second that he was experiencing second-hand embarrassment because I’d said something so corny.
“That means you have to come back too,” he reminded me.
I scoffed at him. “Obviously. Can’t get rid of me that easily. You arrest a girl on a first date, she’s going to keep showing up looking for the cuffs…”
“Promise me,” he said, a note of steel in his voice. “I’ve lost too many people already. Nix has, too. We can’t…”
I wanted to tease him. Can’t what? Can’t lose your least-favorite cadets?
But the real need in his tone made my heart ache.
“I promise,” I said.
When he looked at me with heat smoldering in his eyes, I thought he was going to close the small distance between us and brush his lips to mine. The tension seemed to stretch between us.
“Good,” he said, leaning back, putting distance between us as he brought his arms up across his chest. “You break your word to me, Ainsley, I’ll drag you back from hell so I can make your life at the academy miserable.”
The moment between us was broken, but his usual bossy attitude made me smile anyway.
“Why do you think I’d go to hell?” I demanded, heading back toward the table. “I’m a good girl.”
“You’re an awesome kid and a kickass Hunter,” he said, “but a good girl? Let’s not get fucking carried away.”
Cade’s insults lit the same warm glow in my chest that Nix’s compliments did. I shook my head at him—or maybe at myself—as I took my seat and turned yet another page, to stare at yet another page of runes.
Chapter Seventeen
Cade
Later that night, I looked up from my list. “I think that what would work best is if we do two ru—”
Deidra’s arm was flat on her book, her cheek pressed against her arm. Her lips were parted, and that ridiculous orange-yellow shade of her newly dyed hair fell thick around her face. She looked so peaceful for once as her chest rose and fell slowly, and I had to drag my gaze away from the shape of her breasts in that lacy white sweater.
I pressed my lips together tightly, glad she hadn’t woken.
I didn’t know why she’d insisted on staying up with me.
That’s not true. I’d seen her look for me earlier in the night, before she slipped past Nix and Tristan. I meant to shield her from my feelings, but she saw through me. Embarrassment tightened my chest, but I felt a flicker of warmth, too.
It was my job to protect her, but she seemed so determined to protect Nix, Tristan and me in turn.
I hesitated. I didn’t want to pick her up without her permission. On the flip side, she needed her rest and I didn’t want to leave her like that. She wouldn’t sleep well passed out on the table. I glanced up at the ladder, then at the sofa.
The couch it was. I could sleep on the floor.
Still, as I rose from my chair, the strangest flutter of nerves rose in my stomach. What the hell? I didn’t get this nervous about facing down monsters. Something about carrying her made my heart race, though.
God. When did I turn into such a dork?
When I lifted her, I worried she’d wake up. She started to raise her head, then nestled into my shoulder instead. I hesitated, wanting her to stay asleep, feeling her body against mine. She turned her face into my shoulder as if she belonged with me, a faint smile touching her lips. I could barely breathe.
Her arm dangled loosely as I carry her toward the couch. The way she just nuzzled her head under my chin, her body responding to me… fuck.
I’m so lost for this girl.
As gently as I could, I laid her down on the couch.
I was trying to pull away when her hand fisted in my t-shirt, pulling me close. “Stay,” she murmured.
Did she even know who I was? Did she think she was talking to Nix or Tristan?
But she was still holding onto me, and I didn’t want her to wake. Uncertainly, making small movements, I lay down beside her.
She kept her hand in my shirt until I wriggled in close to her, and she settled her cheek onto my chest. Her thigh slid across mine as she wrapped her body around mine. It was the only way the two of us could fit on the couch.
Her chest rose and fell against mine, and I watched her face for just a second before I squeezed my eyes shut. I should get some sleep too. I could still see her face when I closed my eyes.
She’s beautiful, but that’s not the thing about her that kills me.
I drifted off like that, the two of us wrapped up together.
When I woke, the room was bright with light coming through the windows. There was a thump of wood and a crackle, and I gazed blearily over at Nix, who was slipping another log onto the fire.
I cleared my throat. “Hey, I had some ideas about the runes.”
For the first time, I realized there was a blanket draped over the two of us. I couldn’t get up last night to get the blanket without waking Deidra.
I have a whole lot of questions for my best friend, but still: feelings don’t matter. Not right now.
Deidra stirred in my arms, then sat up abruptly. She gazed from me to Nix and back again as she swiped her cheek with her arm, and I ducked my head to hide a grin. Checking for drool. That was our girl.
“Wow, I guess I passed out last night,” she said.
“Any nightmares?” Nix asked lightly.
The question made me wonder what Deidra dreams about at night, and what she’s shared with him.
She shook her head. “No nightmares.”
“I wonder why.” He looked at her meaningfully, like she would understand what he was saying.
The morning started off with black coffee, bacon and eggs and the same playful banter we had last night, but once we’d eaten and we started washing up and getting dressed, the air turned tense.
It was almost time to say goodbye.
I wanted to tell Tristan that he could handle anything. I wanted him to know that, despite all the time I spent hassling him, I really did believe in him. He was smarter and stronger than I was at that age. He’d had to be, after we lost our parents.
If he seemed like a stupid kid to me sometimes, maybe it was because I’d wanted him to be able to stay a kid, a little longer.
That, and his goddamn mouth that got him into trouble all the time.
Instead, I pulled my boot knife in its sheath and offered it to him.
He cocked his head to one side, not taking it, but from the glint of recognition in his eyes, he knew what it was.
“Take it,” I said. “You might need it.”
“I don’t want to lose it,” he said. “What if Truby takes our weapons?”
“Then once you kill him, take it back.”
He hesitated, then took it out of my hand.
This was Dad’s backup knife. He gave it to me when I left for the academy.
Dad was gone before Tristan started school. I should’ve given him something then. I should’ve celebrated him joining me.
But I hadn’t felt like celebrating. I wanted my brother to be safe at the academy, but I was scared of what came after graduation. I didn’t want him out there Hunting, risking his life, getting hurt.
He was like me, and I couldn’t imagine either of us doing anything but Hunting, though.
“Thanks,” Tristan said shortly.
He didn’t show any emotion as he knelt and clipped the sheath to the inside of his boot. But that was how we were raised.
As he straightened, he glanced toward Deidra. She had just pulled her shirt over her head before sitting in the chair in front of Nix, so Nix could start marking in her rune.
“I’ll take care of her,” he promised me.
“You two take care of each other.” I clapped his shoulder.
It was their best chance of making it home.
Chapter Eighteen
Deidra
Nix and Cade turned cold when it was time to leave. There was no hug goodbye, and definitely no kiss. I did get another threat from Cade, this time that he’d track my ass down in Heaven or Hell. At least he was listening.
“Take the car.” Nix looked at the SUV parked in the driveway, the one that Tristan and Cade took here. “We’ll ride the bike until we find something else.”
“You two really are close,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Nix didn’t smile. His eyes were steely in the dim light of the overcast morning.
I ducked my head. Awkward. I wanted to say something before we said goodbye, but I didn’t know what. This felt so different from the time that Nix and I shared together before.
Something bright red on the frozen ground caught my attention. I knelt and chipped at what was frozen in the ice with my thumbnail. It was a flower petal, frozen to the ground.
I stood, wiping my hands off on my jeans, the flower still trapped in the ice. Fine. These guys were emotionally closed off weirdos and they aren’t even capable of saying goodbye.
Imagine being so good with a sword and so bad with feelings.
“Let me drive?” Tristan asked. He flashed me that handsome, boyish grin of his, the one that crinkled his hazel eyes at the corners. “After all, Truby wants you. I need something to make me feel useful.”
“Pretty sure you’re just a control freak like your brother, but whatever,” I shot back.
Cade didn’t acknowledge what I’d said, but he tossed Tristan the keys.
Tristan slid into the driver’s seat and closed the door.
I started to follow him, then paused by the passenger door. Nix and Cade stood there with their faces blank, as if Tristan and I were going out for ice cream.
“There’s something really wrong with you both,” I said, then got into the car. The sound of the door slamming shut seems to carry in the frosty air.
Shit. That was definitely not what I meant to say right before I left them. Tension knotted my stomach, but I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t get back out of the car and apologize. They didn’t want to talk about feelings with me at any time, but definitely not right now.
Tristan, on the other hand, seemed to be in a good mood. He started the car up and pulled out of the driveway without hesitating, humming to himself until he fidgeted with the radio.
“Why are Nix and Cade such weirdos?” I asked as Tristan aimed our car toward New York City. It was hard to believe, as we pass under the snow-covered trees, that we’d be in the city in just a few hours.
“I don’t think anyone in this car is qualified to judge anyone’s normalcy,” Tristan reminded me.
“I’m a perfectly normal person,” I said. “In most ways.”
Not that my friends from high school would have agreed.
“No, you’re not. That’s part of your charm.” Tristan shifted his hands on the wheel. There was something distracting for me about his hands, which were long-fingered and deft and scarred at the knuckles. I couldn’t help daydreaming about his hands on me.
I wanted to enjoy the road trip with Tristan—it was always fun when the two of us are together, even though we’re usually together someplace miserable, like waxing floors on restriction or trying to get ourselves kidnapped by an evil coven.
But I couldn’t shake the heaviness of leaving Nix and Cade. Their mood had taken me over.
I rested my forehead against the cool glass. We’d left the pines behind for increasing gridlocked traffic and gray buildings. “So this is the Council’s big plan. Stupid teenagers save the world.”
“Hey, don’t underestimate us,” Tristan said. “Incredibly stupid teenagers.”
When he grinned at me, some of the tension in my chest eased.
We talked through this whole plan already: how we’ll find Truby, how we’ll sell that Tristan came with me, what the runes will do. The plan won’t survive the day, most likely. Things will change.
But we’ll figure it out on the fly.
We parked the car in an overpriced garage. When we walked out, snow flurries swirled around us. The day feels dark, but the city is pretty like this, with snow blanketing the sidewalk.
Truby said that if I wanted to find him, to come to New York City. He said I’d figure it out from there.
But I didn’t trust anything that man said.
We headed down the sidewalk side-by-side. It was a few blocks to the magic supply store that was our first stop.
In front of us, a couple walked arm-in-arm. They walked briskly through the city streets, confident, on a mission, but her gloved arm was tucked over his sleeve. They both wore long black coats.
Tristan glanced at me, then o
ffered his arm. A mischievous smile touched his lips.
I rolled my eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
I didn’t need any man’s arm.
Tristan rolled his eyes right back, then grabbed my hand in his. I liked the feeling when his strong fingers knit around mine. So I pulled a face at him, but I definitely did not move away.
“You’re bad at acting like you’re madly in love with me,” he said, but he didn’t sound mad about it; he was teasing as usual.
Well, that was strange. It was early for love, but my crush on him was ridiculous to the point of madness.
We reached a magic emporium, which had a giant rabbit being pulled out of a hat as the sign above the store. I stopped and stared at it.
“Tris, I think maybe we’re in the wrong place.”
“Oh, ye of little faith,” he said, catching my hand and pulling me along with him.
The warmth of the store blasted out at us after the cold. Tristan led me confidently through the store to the back.
“Have you been here before?” I asked.
“No,” he said.
“You’re just recreationally overconfident?”
“Professionally, actually.” He flashed me one of those grins and then ducked through the Employees Only door at the back of the store.
We were in a long, concrete hall with what had to be a storage room and loading dock at the end; heavy swinging doors stood closed at the end of the hall.
Tristan didn’t hesitate. He headed for the doors as if he knew where he was going. When he pushed on the door, it didn’t open.
He turned to me with an abashed look across his face. “From what I read, only witches can open the door to the true store.”
“Great,” I said, stepping up beside him. I pushed the door too, but it didn’t open.
“Well,” he said. “This is anti-climactic.”
My magic was so finicky. The thought made embarrassment singe my cheeks, but conveniently, I had my magic power-up at the ready. That was what I should tell my father about why I brought Tristan along. Surely he would buy Tristan’s importance then.