Unfolding Desires

by Kristy Love

  “Of course. I’ll talk to you soon, Roxie!”

  David helped me out of my chair and led me to the dance floor. It was a slow song, so I was wrapped in David’s arms as we glided across the marble tiles.

  “You’re amazing, Roxie.” His eyes stared into mine.

  I smiled. “I think you’re pretty amazing yourself.”

  “No. I mean, you’re amazing. I dropped this trip on you last minute and you didn’t bat an eye. You were fine spending hours in an unfamiliar city by yourself and you handled it totally fine. You’re in a room of the most rich and famous people in the world and you aren’t fangirling. You act like you belong here.”

  “Who’s to say I don’t belong here? Because my paycheck is smaller? Fuck that. I’m fabulous, David. It doesn’t matter how many zeroes are on my bank balance or how expensive my clothing is. These people just want to be treated as normal because they are normal.”

  His lips twitched as he smiled. He kissed me tenderly and I was breathless. I almost forgot where we were, as I usually did when David kissed me.

  We danced some more, then it was time for dinner and an auction. I chatted with Jen and the other guests at our table. Before long, I felt as though I was a friend with all of them. I exchanged numbers with a few, with the promise to keep in touch. I couldn’t lie and say it wasn’t awesome, because it totally was. They thought I was interesting enough to keep in touch with.

  Once the auction was over and the dance floor opened up again, David and I danced for a while, though I was becoming tired. We said our good-byes and David promised to call Janice in the morning. We decided to walk back to the hotel because it was only a few blocks and I wasn’t quite ready for the evening to be over. There was something special about the city during the day, but it was magical at night. The buildings were lit up and people thronged the sidewalks. Music and cars, laughter and talking filled the air. I would miss this city when we went back home.

  “Thank you for inviting me on this trip, David. It’s been truly amazing. I had the time of my life.” I peered up at him and smiled.

  “I’m glad you could come with me.” He swept me into his arms, crushing me in a kiss. A chill raced down my spine, partially from the cool breeze that had picked up, and partially from the way David was kissing and touching me.

  “We should get back to the hotel,” he said. With that, the sky opened up and rain fell all around us. I laughed and twirled in the raindrops. I felt light and free, as though my confession and David’s words had taken a burden off my shoulders. David hugged me close and kissed me again. Then he shrugged his jacket off and slipped it over my shoulders. “We should at least try not to get the dress destroyed, right?”

  “All that matters is that you’re here with me.” His shirt was already soaked though. We took off running down the street, laughing and holding hands. I felt so young and carefree. Outside the hotel, he pulled me to a stop.

  “I want to kiss you in the rain, love.” Before I could respond, he pulled me to him and captured my lips in a soul stealing kiss. Rain fell around us, dripped down our faces and dissolved onto our tongues. The kiss tasted of mint, David, and rain. It was the best taste in the world. I shivered. David held my face in his palms as though I was the most precious thing in his world. When my trembling got worse, we went inside.

  In the elevator, I smiled up at him. “I thought you didn’t do romance?” I teased.

  “Love, I can do romance with the right person.” He tucked a wet strand of hair behind my ear.

  “So you have to be motivated?” I nestled into his side.

  His lips brushed against my ear as he whispered. “I have to be moved.”

  He draped his arm around my shoulder. The elevator doors opened and we walked to our hotel room. My heart soared, and I couldn’t get the smile off my face. He filled me with hope and my heart swelled.

  I could get used to this.

  When we entered our room, he closed the door behind him and leaned his back against it. His eyes dragged over my body, taking me in.

  “See something you like?” I asked. I reached behind me and pulled the zipper down by fractions, my gaze steady on him.

  “I see something I love.”

  My heart stuttered in my chest and it hurt. This was a pain I could live with, though. It was a pain of feeling too much. I slid the dress off my shoulders and let it pool on the floor around my feet. I was left standing in my red lacy bra and panties. I had even indulged in matching garters. David’s eyes widened and his tongue trailed across his lip.

  “You are simply stunning, love.”

  I sauntered toward him, letting my hips sway seductively, my eyes trained on him. I reached out and undid his tie, then flung it over my shoulder. As I undid the buttons on his shirt, his breathing sped up and I felt the pounding of his heart against my fingers as they danced over his damp skin. When I undid his belt and pants, they fell to the floor with a sodden thud.

  “Bloody hell, you’re going to kill me.”

  “I hope in a good way.” I sank to the floor, my eyes focused on his. I took him in my mouth; I teased, tasted, and tempted him. His hands wound in my hair as he struggled to contain himself. I brought him to the edge, though he yanked me up and crashed our lips together. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me into the bedroom, then lay me on the bed.

  Without preamble, he slid inside me with a long groan. I couldn’t stop touching him: his face, his back, his arms, and his chest. I touched him everywhere I could reach. This was about more than a physical connection to me. This was emotional. I felt our souls reaching out and tangling together. I felt my heart land firmly in his hands. I felt him give himself over to me as well. It felt different. As much as I hated the term and as cliché as it sounded, it felt like making love.

  He kissed me as we both fell over the edge.

  Afterward, we lay entwined in each other. I ran my fingers over his dampened flesh, chasing goosebumps along his limbs and torso.

  “Why are you different with me?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “In the beginning, you made it clear that you didn’t want any kind of commitment. Whatever arrangement we had, it would only be physical. That changed. I’m just wondering why.”

  He reached out and ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes; I loved the feel of his hands on me. “In the beginning, I couldn’t resist you physically. You are absolutely gorgeous and sexy as hell. I wanted you in my bed. Then, as we spent more time together, I saw more sides of you. The smart, feisty, and funny sides. Add that to how sexy you are? I couldn’t stay away.”

  “I’m glad you wanted me for my body,” I teased. I leaned forward and kissed him.

  “It goes back to my parents, too.” He gazed over my shoulder, his eyes unfocused. “They weren’t good together while I was growing up. They always fought, and used me as a pawn. They’d try to make me pick sides. It was brutal, and I was glad when they finally divorced.” He absentmindedly stroked a lock of my hair between his fingers, as though it kept him grounded in this moment with me as he visited a less than happy past. “I swapped between houses, visiting my mom and dad. Things were better, no more constant fighting, though my dad was still distant.”

  “Was he abusive towards you?” I curled in closer to his body to protect him from the painful memories.

  “No, never. He just wasn’t the kind of guy who gave hugs or affection.” He shrugged. “My mom died a few years after they divorced.” He swallowed, as though it was still painful for him. “My dad thought he’d move to the States to start over. He blamed himself for my mom’s cancer and the fact that she couldn’t fight it. So, we moved.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Twelve. Not too long after moving here, my dad found Mia’s mom and married her. Luckily, I got along with Mia and her mom. I was closer to the two of them than I was with my own father.”

  “You and Mia have a really close relat
ionship.”

  “She was my best friend since day one. We just clicked.” He shrugged. “It wasn’t until I was twelve that I saw actual affection—hugs, kissing, holding hands, people saying they loved each other. Other than my family, I’ve never felt that, so I figured I was like my dad. I was better at keeping things distant and physical, and I was fine with that.” His eyes focused on me. “Until you.”

  “Until me,” I echoed, dumbfounded by his words.

  “I’ve never wanted this with another woman. This closeness, this intimacy.” He pulled my body closer until I was flush against him. There wasn’t a breath of space between us. “I’ve never wanted a woman beside me, in my bed and in my life.” My heart raced and my eyes stung. His words were so heartfelt, so honest, so sweet, that my emotions overwhelmed me.

  His palm stroked my bare hip in lazy circles. “With you, it’s different. I want it all. I want your smiles, your laughter, even your tears. I love the way you’re independent, how you put people in their place, yet you can be incredibly sweet and caring. You know what you want and you aren’t afraid to go after it. You’re not like other women who are only out for their own gain. You’ve never been after my money, you’ve only ever been interested in me. That means a lot. I’ve had many women try and get close to me for what’s in my bank account.”

  “I’m not interested in your money, David,” I reassured him. His money never crossed my mind. I wanted to earn my own way, be my own person.

  “I know, that’s why you’re here right now. That’s why you’re different. It’s not just one thing; it’s several.” He smiled and ran the back of his finger over my face. “I never thought you’d be here. Not after how clear you were that we’d never be more than fuck buddies.”

  I laughed. “Honestly, I never saw myself here either, but I’m glad I am.”

  His eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled. “You’re always so guarded and closed off. Why?”

  I turned my gaze away from him. Could I tell him what he wanted to know? He deserved it. If things between us kept going the way they were, this was more than a fling. I wanted this man in my life long term.

  “Growing up, my family was a lot like yours. My sister and I didn’t get hit often, but it was pretty bad between my parents.” I went on to tell him what happened with Cassie and then how things got even worse once my dad disowned her. I told him about the way he hurt my mother. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I’d never really told anyone this stuff. It felt good to get it out, to have someone talk to about it.

  As I talked, his body became stiff, and he held me tighter. I understood he wasn’t upset with me; rather, he was bothered by what I went through. My heart opened up even more to him. My heart opened so wide that it felt he was inside of it, claiming me as his.

  And I felt okay with that.

  “That’s awful, love. I’m so sorry.” He stroked my arm. “I had no idea.”

  “I don’t want to be one of those women who lets their past drag them down and makes them weak.”

  He chuckled. “I would never consider you weak, Roxie.”

  The way he said my name did things to me. Hell, just hearing his accented voice did things to me. He did things to me. “Things kind of turned for the worse after I caught my fiancé cheating on me.”

  “You were engaged?” His lips turned down in a frown.

  “Briefly. Literally, we were only engaged for a few hours before I caught him cheating on me with another man.” He laughed so hard that he buried his face in my neck. His laughter shook the bed and he hugged me closer, nearly squeezing the air from my lungs. “I fail to see the humor in that statement, David.”

  “Love, I was afraid I had competition. I thought I was a rebound or someone you were going to leave for whoever this douchebag fiancé was, but if he’s gay, then I have nothing to worry about.”

  I pushed him onto his back and straddled his waist. “I don’t think it’s funny! It hurt a lot, and that was when I officially decided to never fall in love again.”

  He cradled my face. “I hope to one day change that.” His eyes were soft and so was his smile.

  “You never fail to take my breath away.”

  “I never thought I’d feel all the things I do for you.” His eyes swept over my face. “I love you, Roxie.”

  My heart exploded inside my chest and tears I hadn’t realized were there slid down my cheeks. My heart had finished falling for him. I was officially in deep with him as we lay entwined and naked, both physically and emotionally, but I didn’t know he felt it, too.

  And that meant so much to me.

  I couldn’t speak because my heart was in my throat, so I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. I poured everything into the kiss: my thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, and desires. That was as close as I could get to those eight words. They were too daunting. It was too much and it made me feel too vulnerable. But I needed him to know I was in this with him. I wanted him to know that I felt him.

  As our kissing grew in intensity, I slid him inside me again. I loved the physical and emotional connection we had in this moment, and never wanted it to end.

  WE’D JUST LEFT FAO Schwartz and were carrying a mountain of packages—Gia’s birthday gifts. We followed the path to stroll through Central Park. Our weekend had been amazing. I felt I’d really gotten comfortable with David, as though I really got to know him.

  Watching him in the store, browsing the aisles and picking up things he thought his niece would enjoy warmed my heart. “Do you honestly think a two-year-old needs all this?” I asked. The amount of stuff we were carrying was ridiculous, but David insisted.

  “She doesn’t need all of it. I want to give it to her.” He smirked. I sipped my coffee and rolled my eyes. In reality, I didn’t mind that he wanted to do this for Gia. I loved it, and thought it was incredibly sweet. “Are you rolling your eyes at me?” He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close. I laughed as the shopping bags hit me. Instead of a sexy gesture, our hug ended up hilarious.

  I pushed away from him and we resumed our lazy walk. We talked as though we hadn’t spent the last four days together. My heart was firmly in his hands, though he hadn’t realized it yet. I liked that he didn’t. I liked this casualness between us that we could be around each other without added pressure.

  I didn’t need constant declarations of love or promises of marriage. I just needed moments like this. Moments when we could be together to laugh and have fun. When I could let my guard down and feel safe. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt that way, but it was easy with David.

  His phone rang from deep in his pocket. He shifted his bags around to pull it out. His eyebrows furrowed when he saw the display. “It’s an unknown number.”

  “You should answer it.” Both David and I usually didn’t answer numbers we didn’t recognize, but a feeling in my gut insisted he take the call.

  He nodded and answered. “This is David.” His eyes cut to mine and they were full of confusion. “Yes.” His blue orbs widened in panic. His face drained of all color and he looked sick. My heart sank to my toes. Something had to be wrong.

  Somehow, I knew this conversation would alter the course of everything as I knew it. Nothing would ever be the same.

  “I understand. Yes, I’ll come home right now. I’ll be on the next flight out.” He said goodbye and hung up. “We need to get back to Virginia right away.” He strode away without waiting for me. I grabbed up the bags and scrambled after him, but his long strides made it hard to catch up.

  “David!” I called after him. He didn’t slow down. He was clearly a man on a mission. My stomach flopped and turned painfully. Things really weren’t okay.

  When he got to an intersection and had to wait for traffic, I finally caught up. “David, what’s wrong?” I pulled on his hand.

  “We need to go.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Mia and Gia were in an accident. They’re in the hosp
ital.” He looked at me, his eyes full of fear. “The doctor wouldn’t tell me anything other than I should get back as soon as possible.”

  “You don’t know if everyone is okay?”

  “No, they won’t tell me anything.” The anguish on his face gutted me. I wanted to comfort him, but I wasn’t sure if I should. I didn’t have any idea what to do or how to make it better.

  We went back to the hotel to toss our stuff into the suitcases. He wanted to leave everything and hurry straight to the airport, but I convinced him that we needed to collect our belongings and check out. I could tell he was holding himself together by a thread. He was really struggling and my heart felt like it was tearing apart in my chest.

  We rushed to the airport and managed to get on the first flight out of New York City. The flight was unbearable. He didn’t speak, just stared out the window. I rubbed his shoulders and tried to hold him, but he remained stiff, the distance between us frightening.

  Whatever awaited us back in Virginia was bad. Just how bad and how much it would change our lives remained to be seen.

  Once the plane landed, David raced to the hospital. I held on to the car door the entire ride, afraid we’d crash with how fast he was driving. He still hadn’t said much. As we pulled into the parking garage, my phone rang.

  “Hello?” I answered, not even bothering to check and see who was calling. I needed something to focus on other than the clawing in my stomach.

  “Roxie, this is Will’s aunt, Liv. I called him to get your phone number after what happened today.” She sniffled. Will was a friend of mine. He was married to Ry, who was Jax’s sister. Liv was a nurse in the hospital that Mia and Gia were at. I hoped she’d be able to give us information to prepare us for what we were walking into.

  “What happened?” I asked, not sure what was going on. I’d seen Liv at gatherings before. Since she was the only family Will had, she was around often.