The Story of Our Lives

by Helen Warner

  ‘I know. But she doesn’t want that becoming public knowledge. And if he takes her to court, it would have to. Steve and I are helping her as much as we can but I sometimes worry that…’ She stopped, as she tried to find the words. She hadn’t been able to voice it to anyone before.

  ‘What?’ Melissa turned towards Sophie so that the sun framed her face, giving her an ethereal glow.

  ‘Well, he’s changed his tack and is on a charm offensive. I worry that she’s falling for it. And worse, I worry that she blames us for breaking them up.’

  ‘But that’s ridiculous. He was violent. If we hadn’t done something, he might have killed her.’

  ‘I know that and you know that. But Amy is so down on herself. She has so little confidence that she can’t see it. And boy, is he charming, when he turns it on.’

  ‘Yes, well, I certainly found that out…’ Melissa gave Sophie a rueful shrug. ‘You don’t think…?’

  ‘I don’t know. I wish I could say for sure that she’d never go back to him but I really don’t know.’

  ‘What does Steve think?’

  Sophie grimaced. ‘He doesn’t know her the way I do, so I don’t think it would occur to him that she might consider going back after what Nick’s done. Steve doesn’t see Nick’s charm. Especially after he cracked one of his ribs.’

  ‘No,’ Melissa said, giving a half-laugh. ‘Well, that’s understandable. Is there anything we can do?’

  Sophie thought for a minute. ‘I’m not sure. I think we’ve just got to keep supporting her and build up her confidence so that she has the courage to divorce him and put some clear water between them. I do know one thing for sure, though. If she does summon up the courage to file for divorce, there will be fireworks. He doesn’t like losing. Or not being in control.’ She turned to look at Amy sitting on the blanket with George, while Megan and Emma skipped happily around them. They suddenly looked so very vulnerable.

  ‘God, that’s a frightening thought. Aren’t you scared?’

  ‘A bit. But we’ve got Steve on our side and Nick’s probably more scared of him. Anyway, every time I get a bit panicky, I imagine how it must have been for Amy, living under that kind of threat day in, day out. She’s never really told me the whole story – and I’m not sure I want to hear it either – but it must have been a living hell.’

  Melissa nodded and followed Sophie’s gaze towards Amy and the children. ‘Then we’ve got to do everything in our power to convince her never to go back.’

  JUNE 2005

  ‘The Queen gave a defiant message to the terrorists behind the 7/7 London tube bombings that “They will not change our way of life.” She was speaking during a visit to meet survivors of the blasts.’

  VALE DE PARRA, PORTUGAL

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  ‘Well, this is the life!’ Melissa sighed happily. ‘I can’t say I’m sorry to to be well away from central London at the moment.’ The others nodded and sipped their champagne. They were sitting around a silver bistro table at a beach bar, with an uninterrupted view of the powdery white sandy beach and deep turquoise Atlantic Ocean beside them. Although the temperature was nudging 30 degrees, the constant breeze blowing off the sea meant it was pleasantly hot, rather than uncomfortably scorching.

  Emily turned to Amy, who had been quiet all morning. ‘You OK, Amy?’

  Amy blinked quickly and nodded. ‘Hmmm? Oh yes, I’m fine. Just thinking about the kids. I can’t believe Steve’s looking after all of them on his own. I hope he’s OK.’

  ‘He’ll be in his element!’ Sophie had almost finished her glass of champagne and was already reaching for the bottle to pour another. Since she had started drinking again, she seemed determined to make up for lost time. ‘And actually, Jack’s a real help now that he’s older. He’s another pair of hands, not another liability.’

  Emily smiled proudly. Sophie was right. Jack was definitely more of a help than a hindrance. He had loved the idea of staying with Steve and the other kids for the weekend, while they went away together for a couple of days.

  This trip was being paid for by Amy. The others had objected strongly, saying they were happy to pay for themselves, but Amy had insisted. ‘It’s my way of repaying you,’ she said. ‘Although it’s not really possible to put a value on what you did for me.’

  Melissa had happily accepted, while the other two had agreed reluctantly. ‘It’ll make her feel better,’ Melissa had said. ‘Just go along with it.’

  And she was right. Emily could see that Amy was already gaining in confidence. Not that she could have had any less confidence after what happened…

  Amy stared at her phone, her hands shaking slightly and her eyes blurring as she read the text message:

  I love you so much. I love the children. I can’t live without you. If you don’t come home I don’t see the point in carrying on.

  She looked out into the garden, where the children were playing under Steve’s watchful eye. He was pushing George in the baby swing, his little legs kicking in delight, while Megan and Emma tended to their dolls in the playhouse. It looked like such a happy, idyllic scene of a family enjoying their garden in the last days of summer.

  But of course it wasn’t a happy family scene. Steve wasn’t the children’s dad, even though over the past months he had been more of a father to them than Nick ever had…

  No, she told herself sternly, that wasn’t fair. Nick loved the children but he had spent so much time working that he couldn’t be there for them the way Steve was. And he was in such agony being away from them. Maybe he had changed. He certainly seemed like a different person recently. Now that she had shown him that she was serious, that she wouldn’t be used as a punchbag, maybe now things would be how they used to be in the early days.

  She had loved him so much. Surely that person couldn’t have disappeared altogether? Maybe all he’d needed was the shock of almost losing her to make him appreciate what he’d got.

  She bit her lip, thinking about the reaction of the others if she was to voice what she was thinking. She already knew what they’d say. A leopard never changes its spots; don’t be fooled by him; be strong.

  But she was different from the others. She wasn’t strong compared to them. She needed someone to lean on much more than they did. She couldn’t imagine how her life would have been if she had found herself in Emily’s situation, having to cope by herself and being the sole carer and breadwinner, bringing up a child on her own.

  Even when she had finally left Nick, it wasn’t under her own steam. She had been forced into it by Emily and Sophie and had been looked after by Sophie and Steve ever since. She would never have managed without them.

  A small voice in her head whispered that if she’d stayed, he would have killed her, but she mentally swatted it away. Over the sea of time that had elapsed since then, she couldn’t even remember the violent Nick. All she could remember was the loving husband and father, who had cried at the birth of both of the children. It must have crucified him to have those two adorable little people snatched away from him so cruelly.

  Every time she met him so that he could see the children, she could feel herself softening towards him a little more. Could feel herself being drawn back towards him like a magnet. And Sophie could feel it too. Whenever Amy returned from seeing him, she would have to sit through a debrief with Sophie, who seemed determined not to let Nick redeem himself in any way.

  Steve was a little more forgiving. This was surprising considering Nick had cracked one of his ribs, but Steve would argue that it was a terrible punishment for any dad to be separated from his children. Sophie always rounded on him furiously if he defended Nick, but Steve always quietly stood his ground. ‘What he did was wrong,’ he would say firmly. ‘But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t see his kids.’

  ‘He doesn’t deserve to see them after what he did,’ Sophie would say, scowling angrily.

  Amy would sit between them, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. It was as if h
er opinion counted for nothing.

  It had been exactly a year since she left him and although she would never have dared voice it to anyone, she missed him. She couldn’t help it. He was like a drug to her. He was so handsome, so tender and so broken. She knew, in a way that no one else would understand, that he had changed. She wanted to go back to him.

  She looked again at her phone. At the words he had written. With another glance into the garden to make sure Steve couldn’t see, she typed:

  I love you. I never stopped loving you.

  Before she could change her mind, she pressed ‘send’.

  Almost immediately, the phone beeped with a return message:

  Come home. Come tonight. I’m here waiting for you.

  A little thrill of excitement shot through her as she remembered his hands on her body, his mouth on hers. The way he could set her alight with one kiss. Then, just as she was tingling with lust at the thought of his touch, other memories began to crash into her head. His rough hand on her neck, squeezing until she almost blacked out; the agony of her hair being pulled out in clumps, as he thrust his face into hers, so close that she could feel his breath on her skin, screaming that she was a useless whore.

  She swallowed hard and blinked, trying to shut out the images that had filled her nightmares over the past year. He had learnt his lesson. Promised that it would never happen again. Had sworn it over and over, with tears of remorse filling his beautiful dark eyes. She believed him.

  Getting up, she walked to the French door. Steve stopped pushing George’s swing and looked over at her curiously. ‘You OK, Amy?’

  Amy nodded and smiled. ‘Yes, I’m fine. I just… thought I’d nip over to Mum’s for a couple of hours. Would you be OK to have the kids?’

  A shadow of something Amy couldn’t quite read passed over Steve’s face. ‘Uh, sure. Wouldn’t your mum want to see the kids too?’ He resumed pushing George on the swing.

  Amy looked away. She hated lying to Steve at all but lying to him when he knew she was lying was excruciating. ‘Yes, but she’s not feeling too great so I don’t want to risk them picking up whatever it is she’s got.’

  Steve nodded. ‘OK. I’ll see you later then?’ He gave Amy a look that went through her, before she turned and walked out of the house. He knew where she was going. She just hoped he wouldn’t tell Sophie.

  When she arrived at the house, she stood at the entrance to the drive for several minutes, her heart racing and her mouth suddenly dry as she looked up at the imposing white stucco building. She hadn’t been back here in over a year. Whenever they met, it was in a ‘neutral’ place like a park or a coffee bar. She hadn’t wanted to meet at the house, which was a place filled with horrible memories and a deep-rooted feeling of fear. For a moment, she considered turning around and leaving. This was wrong and pointless. She would never forget what had happened within these walls. But she would also never forget how distraught he had been as they said goodbye after their last meeting. The way he looked at her wasn’t just an act. He loved her deeply. She knew he did. And she loved him.

  With shaking legs, she climbed the white stone steps. She lifted her hand to ring the bell but before she could press it, the door swung open and Nick was standing there in front of her. He was wearing a pale blue linen shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to reveal his tanned forearms and he had bare feet, giving him a sexy yet vulnerable appearance. He had obviously just showered as his dark hair was still damp and she could smell the scent of fresh soap on his skin. The prickles of fear immediately melted into a wave of lust, as he reached out to her and wrapped her in his arms.

  Kicking the door shut behind him, Nick picked her up as if she weighed nothing, and carried her up the stairs to their bedroom. She couldn’t think about anything except being with him, as he lay her on their bed and began to undress her, covering every part of her body with light, feathery kisses. Amy reached up to undo his shirt and moaned as her fingers connected with his skin. It was like the first time they had ever made love, only a million times more intense.

  As she undid his jeans, she pulled him into her, desperate to feel him inside her again. No man had ever been able to make her feel the way Nick did. As he began to move in and out of her, she cried out and he looked at her in concern. ‘Amy?’ he whispered.

  ‘It’s OK, don’t stop,’ she groaned, arching her back as she climaxed in an almighty shudder.

  ‘Oh God, I love you so much,’ he murmured, his mouth devouring hers.

  Afterwards, they lay naked and entwined on the bed, Nick stroking her hair and caressing her face. ‘I have missed you more than you could ever know,’ he said, kissing her on the lips.

  Amy looked up at him, thinking she had never seen such a beautiful face, all the more beautiful now that it was reflected in the faces of their children. All the pain and fear she had felt seemed to have dissipated into the ether. All she could feel was a deep longing to stay like this for ever, lying in each other’s arms, in a bubble of happiness and love.

  ‘Come home,’ Nick whispered. ‘I need you. I need you all.’

  Amy wriggled into a sitting position and pulled her knees to her chest. ‘I want to. I really do. It’s just…’

  ‘It’ll be different this time, I promise. Everything will be perfect, like it was in the beginning. I’ve changed, Amy.’ Nick looked up at her imploringly. ‘I’ve learnt my lesson. I will never, ever, hurt you again. You know that, don’t you?’

  Amy nodded. She did know, as surely as she knew her own name. ‘But… How will I tell the others? What about Sophie and Steve? They’ve been so good to me.’

  A wave of annoyance passed across Nick’s face. ‘It’s nothing to do with anyone else, Amy. Them being involved is half the problem. I know they mean well and they’ve been good to you… but they’ve also actively encouraged you to walk away from your marriage. Tried to stop the kids seeing their own father – that’s not the best thing for them, is it?’

  Amy shook her head slowly. He was right. Sophie in particular had taken it upon herself to make sure she divorced Nick. Yes, they’d had their issues but she could see in his eyes that he was a changed person and that he was serious about wanting to make it work. ‘I’ll think about it.’

  ‘I love you. I need you. Come home.’

  ‘If I do come home… there are some things that will need to change.’

  Nick nodded eagerly. ‘Anything. Anything you want.’

  ‘I don’t want any more employees. No Suki…’ She left the name hanging in the air just long enough to register with Nick that she knew what had gone on between them. His cheeks coloured slightly but he didn’t speak. ‘No Benedetta…’ she continued, referring to the sexy young Latino Nick had hired after telling Amy that she couldn’t cook, something that had been like a dagger through her heart at the time.

  Nick nodded. ‘Anything. I’ll do anything. Just come home.’

  It was as if a river of warm honey was trickling through her body. After all this time, after all this pain, she felt loved. She felt wanted. There was no doubt in her mind – she was going to come home. Now all she needed to do was work out how to tell Sophie.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  ‘Something’s going on with Amy.’ Steve rolled over onto his side so that he was facing her.

  Sophie thought about rolling over onto her side too but her bump was too big. ‘I know. It’s him, isn’t it?’

  ‘I think she’s been seeing him.’

  Sophie frowned. ‘We know she’s been seeing him. I thought you were the one who said it was important for him to see the kids?’

  Steve sighed. ‘I was. I am. But she’s been seeing him without the kids.’

  ‘What?’ Sophie scrambled up into a sitting position, cradling her bump. ‘When? Why didn’t you tell me?’

  Steve sat up and leaned against the headboard. ‘Because I wasn’t sure. It was more of a hunch than a certainty.’

  ‘How come you’re sure now?’

&nbs
p; Steve shrugged. ‘Because she’s so sly about it. She always waits till you’re not here. Always lies about where she’s going. Tonight she told me she was going to see her mum again – she’s been saying that a lot.’

  ‘Well, maybe she was?’ Sophie’s mind was whirring, casting about for a rational explanation that wasn’t the one she didn’t want to hear.

  ‘Her mum called while she was out.’

  ‘Oh.’ Sophie felt instantly tearful. It somehow felt as if she had discovered that Amy was cheating on her. And it hurt just the same. What the hell was she thinking?

  The next morning, Sophie took Amy a cup of coffee before she left for work. Amy was sitting in bed reading to the children, who were snuggled in either side of her. She looked up. ‘It should be me bringing you coffee – not the other way round.’

  Sophie laughed. ‘The exercise will do me good. Hey, guys, Emma’s persuaded Steve to make pancakes this morning. Do you fancy them?’

  Megan and George both nodded vigorously and clambered out of bed, before toddling off down the stairs. Sophie waited until they’d gone before she sat down on the side of the bed. Amy bit her lip nervously.

  ‘Steve thinks you’ve been meeting up with Nick. Is that true, Amy?’

  Instantly, a flush spread from Amy’s chest up to her neck. ‘Yes. But you knew that.’ She pulled the duvet around her defensively.

  ‘I knew you were meeting him so that he could see the kids. I didn’t know you were meeting him on your own too.’

  Amy made as if to shake her head with an automatic denial but something in Sophie’s expression must have made her think again. ‘I… we… we’re getting on really well, Soph. I think he’s changed.’

  A combination of irritation and frustration made Sophie want to grab Amy’s tiny shoulders and give her a shake, to shake the stupidity out of her. ‘He hasn’t changed,’ she said, as patiently as she could. ‘No one could go from behaving the way he did, to suddenly being Mr Nice Guy. Don’t let him fool you, Amy.’