I Want Candy

by Laveen, Tiana

  “No,” Candy whispered calmly. “Naggin’ does not deserve adultery. I know you’re just tryin’ to make sense of this, but blamin’ yourself won’t give you clarification. You’ll need to talk to your husband and make your choice, but know that you aren’t alone. We’re here for you.” Candy hugged Dallas tightly.

  “Thank you,” Dallas said as she patted Candy’s hand. “I’m gonna leave. I wanna go home and get my thoughts together before he walks through the door.”

  “I understand,” Candy responded as she stood up and walked Dallas to the door. Jasmine followed behind and hugged Dallas.

  “Call me if you need me.” Jasmine looked deeply into Dallas’s bloodshot eyes.

  Dallas nodded before walking out. Candy closed the door and put her back against it.

  “Jasmine, I feel like I’ve been hit with a wreckin’ ball,” Candy said, then sighed. “Dallas is broken into a thousand pieces. I feel so helpless.”

  Jasmine nodded as she paced the foyer. “It’s times like this when I can see why a woman would cut a mothafucka’s dick off.”

  Candy rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen. “Do you want another glass of wine?” she called out.

  “No, I’m good,” Jasmine said, smoothing out her slacks as she walked slowly into the kitchen. “Now, for the next topic,” Jasmine started, anxious to get details.

  Candy kept her back towards Jasmine, bracing herself for a confrontation.

  “Why are you and Eric not having sex yet?” Jasmine asked, as she slid onto one of the white leather barstools.

  “Jasmine, I’m just tryin’ to get to know him well before we get to that level. I’ll do it when I feel comfortable.” Candy sucked her teeth as she opened a bottle of diet tea.

  Jasmine smiled wickedly. “You know you want to do that man!” she laughed. Candy smiled then burst out laughing.

  “Yeah, I do,” Candy confessed. “But I want it to be right this time. I don’t want to rush into anything. I tell you what – he seems to be doing everything right, though. I can’t believe we’ve slept in the same bed several times and it hasn’t happened, and he’s been totally respectful. I love that.” Candy smiled sweetly.

  “That does seem nice,” Jasmine rolled her eyes and laughed. “I’d rather get the dick, though,” she taunted.

  Candy laughed.

  “I’ll tell you this, he’s very good lookin’, Girl,” Jasmine said as she swiveled. “That usually means they’re a dog though. He’s too damn pretty, Candy,” Jasmine warned.

  Candy rolled her eyes and faced Jasmine. “I was just waitin’ for you to start some shit. Just because a man’s good lookin’ does not mean he’s out doin’ the town!”

  “Usually it does! Why? Because he can! When you introduced him to Dallas and me, we almost peed ourselves, and I don’t get that way over no dude. You know this, but she and I shot each other a look like ‘dayum!’ We told you he was fine. Not ‘fine’ – ‘fi-one!’ He’s wining and dining the mess outta you. He’s waited all this time to get in your ‘draws.’ Something isn’t addin’ up. I bet you a million dollars he’s gettin’ pussy from somewhere else. Ain’t no man, especially one that looks like that, gonna wait two months for no coochie!” Jasmine said, now half standing up.

  “Jasmine, sometimes you’re really sad. You don’t know him, so just cut it out.” Candy finished her diet tea as her mind raced. She licked her lips while thoughts of carrot cake filled her brain.

  “Hey, I’m just warnin’ you. I don’t want you to be Dallas Number Two!” Jasmine warned.

  “Now, that was a low blow. You need to go get some counselin’, and I’m dead serious.” Candy twisted her lips up.

  Jasmine shrugged. “Look, I hope I’m wrong, but I’m the only one out of the three of us that’s seemed to learn from her mistakes. I can spot a con artist a mile away. No, I don’t know Eric, but someone that physically delicious, that smooth and – well, from what you already told me – somethin’ stinks in Denmark. Maybe he’s the pope, though,” Jasmine said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.

  “Get outta my house. Your negativity’s what stinks. Go on, shoo!” Candy halfheartedly laughed.

  Jasmine laughed and hugged Candy. “I’m leavin’, but if Dallas calls you, call me.”

  “I will,” Candy said as she watched Jasmine leave and close the door behind her. Candy stood there, frozen in thought. She played back the scene with Dallas breaking down in her mind, Jasmine’s warning about Eric being “too beautiful” to be on the up-and-up, and the stirring in her stomach. Worry had created a knot in her abdomen and a raging headache. She opened the refrigerator and desperately searched for the piece of carrot cake she’d hidden way in the back several days ago. She finally spotted the foil-wrapped piece of wonderfulness and grabbed it in her trembling hands. She gulped back the tears and tore it open, tearing a small piece away. The white cream cheese icing caked under her nails as she licked her fingers, suppressing. She shook her head and threw the rest away, immediately washing her hands under hot water. She grabbed the soap pump and scrubbed her fingers. She walked into her bedroom and removed her clothing.

  “It’s gonna be an early night for me. Today’s just been too much.” Candy threw on an oversized, pink T-shirt with the breast cancer ribbon symbol and slid under the sheets. As she drifted away, her phone rang, waking her out of her sleep.

  Candy grabbed her phone in a half daze. “Hello,” she said in a state of confusion.

  “Hi, Baby,” Eric said. “Did I wake you? It’s only eight o’clock.”

  “Yeah, I had to lie down. It’s been a very rough day,” Candy said as she rubbed her head and sat up.

  “What happened?” Eric asked as he set his groceries down on his kitchen counter.

  “Eric, Dallas’s husband was cheatin’ with at least two women. She had a private investigator follow him, and he’s caught red handed. I had to sit here and watch my sister fall apart. Their marriage seemed solid, and if their marriage can be destroyed, all marriages can.”

  Eric sighed and deliberated over what Candy said. “Candy, I’m sorry to hear that,” he finally said as he put away his vermicelli noodles. “I know it was hard on her and you too. It’s really important that you not…”

  “I not what? Try to take this out on you and not trust you? Eric, I’m so tired of hearing that,” Candy snapped. “The fact of the matter is that Andre seemed like a stand-up guy. Who can be trusted? Even if trust is earned, it still gets stepped on. People are so selfish! Men are so selfish! She’s destroyed, all over his inability to keep his own pants on,” Candy yelled as tears streamed down her face.

  Eric grew quiet. All Candy could hear was his low breathing.

  “Stop cryin’, Baby,” Eric said as he sat down. “I knew that this was more than about Dallas. I’ve spoken to you about this several times. You know for the past week or so I realized I was fallin’ in love with you, but you still keep me at bay, and I’m not talkin’ about the lack of sex because we have intimacy. I’m talkin’ about your total distrust. I don’t know how much longer I can keep holdin’ on and hopin’ that you won’t internalize everything around you and pin it on me. Every time you see somethin’ on TV about adultery now, ever since this Dallas situation broke open, you make blanket statements about men. You sound like your friend Jasmine, and you complain about her a lot for this kinda behavior. Don’t turn into Jasmine, please. I just…I just don’t know how much longer I can take this. You have everything I want in a woman, but there’s this one thing between us, and I’m really gettin’ sick of it,” Eric said. He exhaled to ease the anger building in his chest.

  “Eric, I have the right to protect my heart. I also have the right to look at Dallas’s situation not only as something my friend is enduring, but a lesson learned. I’m sorry that I’m such a pain in the ass for you! Sorry to have wasted your precious time with my incessant rambling,” Candy scolded into the phone, now fully awake with her heart pumping loudly.

  “I�
��ve bent over backwards to build with you, but you resist. There you go, talking about a lesson learned. What the hell’s that supposed to mean? Her husband cheated. It happens every goddamn day! What do you expect me to say? You aren’t the only one with concerns by the way. Day in, day out, I have to hear about Dallas and her marriage. Normally, it wouldn’t bother me, but you always want to draw it right back to us and men in general. I can’t take this shit. I’m tryin’ to tell you somethin’, and you’re not listenin’,” Eric complained.

  “Oh, I’m listenin’. I hear you loud and clear!” Candy laughed angrily.

  “No, you don’t. I’ve obviously made a mistake. I’m done. I won’t call you, and you don’t need to call me, either. It all makes sense now, why someone like you is single. Good luck with the next guy, he’s gonna need it!” Eric hung up.

  Candy looked at the phone. Tears flowed down her cheeks as her state of confusion and anger grew. She had no idea what just happened, but she knew it happened so quickly that she had emotional whiplash. She resisted the urge to call Jasmine. Instead, she cried in her bed with a balled-up piece of tissue in her left hand, until she fell back to sleep.

  * * *

  Candy picked through the pile of work on her desk and shook her head in disbelief.

  “Why the hell does Dolores keep bringin’ me these reports?” she said angrily to no one in particular. “I help her with one project, and now she brings ’em all to me. This is why I stopped helpin’ people,” she said, polishing off the last drop of her afternoon coffee.

  Her tantrum was interrupted by the loud ringing of her phone. “Candace Benet’s office,” she answered, temporarily replacing her anger with a professional voice.

  “Girl, it’s Dallas,” said the familiar voice.

  “Dallas! I’ve been so worried about you!” she said as she turned around in her chair.

  “I know, I know. You know how I am though. I disappear when I’m trying to get my thoughts together. Well, a lot has happened in two weeks, I can tell you that. I confronted Andre that night. Of course he tried to deny it at first, sayin’ they were only business associates, but I saved the bedroom photo for last. He then broke down, tears and all, beggin’ to go to marriage counselin’. I told him I’d hold off on the divorce papers, but for now, we need to be apart, so he’s outta the house. It’s been exhausting, but I feel so much better.” Dallas sighed again.

  Candy was surprised at how upbeat she sounded.

  “I’m glad, Dallas. I was so worried, but I knew better than to bother you,” she said sullenly.

  “I know, and that’s why I told myself I had to call you and Jasmine. It took so long because he was gettin’ packed up, and I took a solo weekend trip to clear my mind. My boss doesn’t know what’s goin’ on, but she told me to take all the personal days I needed after I told her I was having domestic issues. Anyway, how are you and Eric?” Dallas asked as she flipped through a book.

  Candy sighed, “Not good. We broke up,” Candy answered, biting her bottom lip.

  “Oh, no, Candy! Why?” Dallas asked.

  “He thinks I have issues with trust, and I think he’s an ass. That’s pretty much the bottom line, I s’pose,” Candy said, twisting her lips as she turned back to her desk and moved the papers around.

  “Well, do you think he’s off base?”

  Candy couldn’t believe her ears. “Are you serious? No! I don’t have trust issues. I do like to take my time after some past experiences, though.” Candy’s defensiveness reached Dallas through the phone. “You know I choose all the wrong guys, Dallas. I wanted this to be different. I gave it a fightin’ chance.”

  “Are you sure you weren’t pushin’ him away by man bashin’ and being negative? I’ve noticed a change in you lately. You seem hardened. I think Jasmine must’ve crawled into your head. What’s goin’ on?”

  “I honestly can’t believe you, Dallas,” Candy said. “If you must know, I had a lot of trust in your marriage to Andre. It was like my prototype for how marriage is s’posed to go. Lord knows my parents’ divorce didn’t help me, even though they eventually got remarried to one another, but I got past that. Seein’ you and Andre so in love all of those years gave me hope that it was possible. I guess I was a bit gun shy, but I call that being smart and not rushin’ in. I’m not in the business of playin’ the fool!” Candy sneered.

  “So you took my marriage, out of millions, to be your example, and when it failed, you felt like the entire world was no longer what you knew? You’ve been hangin’ around Jasmine far too long!” Dallas laughed. “Girl, not everyone talks about all of the problems in their marriage. Every marriage has problems! Many people cheat – men and women! You can’t use that as an excuse to second-guess every man who comes into your life. It’s an excuse, too. You’re afraid of gettin’ your heart broken again, and my marriage fallin’ apart came right at the exact time to save you. Look, I don’t know if Eric was the one for you or not. All I can say is that you two seemed fairly happy together, and he did appear to be into you. He’s also sexy as hell, but I digress,” Dallas laughed.

  “I don’t know, Dallas,” Candy said sorrowfully. “On one hand, I’m relieved we aren’t talkin’ anymore after this last blow-up, but on the other hand, damn I miss him.”

  “Why would you be happy about it?” Dallas inquired.

  “Because then I don’t have to be afraid anymore,” Candy confessed.

  “I knew you knew I was tellin’ the truth. It’s not like you to run from yourself like this. Out of the three of us, you always seemed to be the most self-aware. Look, just give this a little time, and give him a call. Maybe you can work it out,” Dallas encouraged.

  “Can I call you back? I’m so sorry, but I have a mountain of work,” Candy explained as she flipped through another report.

  “Of course. No problem. Remember what I said. Love you.”

  “Love you, too,” Candy said as she hung up the phone. She briefly mulled over Dallas’s relayed advice, then got back to work, foraging through the pile with due diligence. Finally the weekend arrived, and she was making her way home for rest and relaxation.

  “It’s the weekend, Girl!” Jasmine squealed as she called Candy in her car on her way home. “What are you doin’?”

  “Drivin’, just like you,” Candy laughed. “This week’s been hell. I’m so glad it’s over. Did Dallas call you? She said something about us goin’ out to dinner and then comin’ back to my place to talk shit about everyone,” Candy teased.

  “Yeah, she did. I have some news, too,” Jasmine said. “I met this new man I want y’all to meet.” Jasmine grinned.

  “Oh, Lord!” Candy laughed. “I knew somethin’ was up. You sounded way too happy. Who is he, and where did you meet him?” Candy asked as she exited the expressway.

  “His name is ‘Kevin,’ and I met him at the gym. He’s a divorced cop. We’ve gone out a couple of times. So far, so good,” Jasmine assured.

  Candy rolled her eyes and laughed. “I’ll be the judge of that!”

  “Alright, Girl. Well, I’ll call you back later,” Jasmine said as she switched lanes.

  “OK, talk to you soon. Toodles.” Candy hung up the phone. She pulled into her garage soon after and rushed into the house, throwing her laptop and briefcase down on the counter while Enchanted purred incessantly for food.

  “I hear you, I hear you, Boy! Mama’s thirsty!” Candy smiled as she pulled out a bottle of water and chugged it. She put cat food down for Enchanted and slid her shoes off, feeling the coolness of the hard wood floor against her feet as she entered the dining room and turned on the CD player. It wasn’t Saturday yet, but Candy was in a cleaning mood. She disappeared upstairs, changed into a raggedy pair of crimson jogging pants and a white T-shirt. She grabbed her bucket full of cleaning rags, sponges, cleanser, Windex, and other odds and ends to cleans her home, then pinned her hair up and put on her weekly mud mask.

  “Meeting in My Bedroom” by Silk began to play as Candy started t
o clean her guest bathroom. She sung the lyrics as the music droned. She scrubbed her ivory basin, giving it extreme elbow grease. “So please, girl, don’t be la-a-a-a-ate!” she continued to sing. Unexpectedly, she heard a knock at her front door.

  “Probably someone sellin’ something,” she said to herself, as she continued to clean diligently. A few seconds later, she heard the doorbell ring.

  “Damn, what happened to people goin’ away when you don’t come to your door?” Candy said. She stormed to the front door and opened it, ready to give whomever it was a piece of her mind. Instead, her eyes focused steadily on Eric who stood there looking down at her. Her heart began to palpitate.

  “What…what are you doin’ here?” she asked breathlessly.

  “I missed you,” he said, smiling at the tan cream smeared all over her face. “May I come in?” he asked, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.

  “Yes,” Candy said as she opened her door wider to allow his tall frame inside. He looked paler than usual. His naturally curly hair had grown out from its familiar low cut.

  “You’re lettin’ your hair grow?” Candy asked as she looked him over in the foyer.

  “Kinda. Just wanted to see it, I guess. I’m goin’ to the barbershop tomorrow,” he said, smiling sheepishly.

  “I like it,” Candy said as she crossed her arms over her shirt. “Come on in. Are you thirsty?” she asked as Eric sat down on her couch in the living room.

  “Yeah, actually I am,” Eric said as he looked down into his folded hands.

  “What do you want – wine, juice, water, tea?” offered Candy as she canvassed her refrigerator.

  “Tea would be good,” Eric said, moving his hands to the back of his head as he leaned over and rocked slightly with his eyes closed. Candy grabbed a bottle of SoHo tea and handed it to him.

  “Thank you,” he said as he opened it and took a long gulp.

  “So, Eric, this is a bit of a surprise,” she said as she sat down next to him. “I obviously wasn’t expectin’ to see you, or I’d have put some descent clothes on,” she smiled.