“Shhh. Stop speaking,” Candy said as she patted his forehead with a cool cloth.
“No, you need to hear this. I did you wrong. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve it. You were a good wife, a good woman. I took my issues out on you. I was…jealous.” Eric’s eyes watered up. “I wanted what you had because…I wanted to be able to be the provider. I hated you for somethin’ I should’ve been proud of you for. I was livin’ in your house. I wanted to build you a house that…was ten times better than that. Then…I live with the guilt every day…” Eric’s eyes filled with tears. One by one, they rolled down his face. “…I live with the guilt every day that I accidentally killed our little girl.” He gripped Candy’s hand tightly. Candy turned away, still holding his hand, as she cried silently.
Eric whimpered. “My pride got in the way. I’m an alcoholic, an addict, and a stupid man.” He continued to cry.
“Eric, please stop it. This isn’t helping right now,” Candy urged as she turned back to him.
“I wish I could have you back, but I know that bridge has been burned. I’m sittin’ here with two broken ribs. God was on my side because the car’s wrapped around a tree. I should’ve been dead. I was speedin’. I could’ve killed someone. I wish I had died.” Eric shoved his head back in the pillow and began to wail as his crying increased. He gripped Candy’s hand tighter. Two nurses ran in, pushing Candy out of the way as they checked him.
“His heart rate has dropped,” one of them said quickly as she paged the doctor. Candy stood back horrified. She exited the hospital room and went back to the lobby to join Eric’s family. Diane walked up to her and hugged her again. She grabbed both of Candy’s hands and held them.
“He’s gonna be OK. I know it in my heart,” Diane said as she looked up at the ceiling. Candy nodded as she sat down next to Diane, crying.
“Candy, I didn’t tell you this when I’d call you every now and again, but he really hasn’t been right since…my grandbaby didn’t make it. Eric took that very hard. The problem is, he’s never forgiven himself, and I don’t think he ever will. He was afraid to be a father, but he wanted that little girl. I want you to know that.” Diane looked at Candy sincerely.
“I realized that sometime after,” Candy said. “After he and I divorced, I found a card he had written. It had all the things he wanted to do with her – teach her how to ride a bike, build her a dollhouse – all sorts of things,” Candy smiled weakly.
The doctor walked into the lobby. “Is this the family of Eric Fields?” he asked as he put his pen back in his jacket pocket.
“Yes,” everyone said together.
“He’s stabilized now. He’s asking for ‘Candy Fields.’”
“Her last name’s ‘Benet’ now,” one of Eric’s sisters said as she walked into the lobby. Diane patted Candy’s back as she headed back towards his room.
“Sit over here,” Eric said as Candy stood, looking down at him.
“I’m OK now. One of my eyes is swollen up, but I can see you good out of the right one,” he smiled. He took her hand again. “What’s wrong Candy Cane? I know you. I know when something’s wrong,” Eric said.
“Just…you. I’m glad you’re OK,” she smiled.
“Nah, that’s not it,” Eric said as he looked up at the ceiling. “I know that look. I’ve seen it before. Unfortunately, I was the cause of it.”
“I don’t want to lay anything on you right now. You’re in bad shape. We can discuss it later,” she assured.
Eric struggled to sit up. “No!” Candy snapped as she leapt up. “Let me help you. You can’t sit up on your own with busted ribs.” She helped prop him up with pillows.
“Always the caregiver, even when people don’t deserve it,” Eric said with a grin. “If you don’t tell me right now, I’ll find another way to get it out of you, so you may as well let me know what the deal is.”
Candy sighed then began to tell Eric the entire sordid story. Fifteen minutes later he closed his eyes and exhaled. “Candy, Candy, Candy. As much as I’d like you back, it’s more important to me that you be happy. I can see you’re miserable. You can’t let this go on another day. He’s basically planned to rape you, telling you in advance like that makes it OK!” Eric raised his voice in anger. “It’s a good thing I’m in this hospital. I’d go to his hotel room and fuck him up!”
“Eric, lower your voice!” Candy urged. “I’m so ashamed,” she cried.
Eric squeezed her hand. “Ashamed of what? For falling in love? You’ve got nothing to be ashamed about. For what it’s worth, I knew your boss had a crush on you,” Eric confessed.
“What?” Candy said as she rubbed Eric’s hand.
Eric nodded. “Yeah. A man knows these things. When I’d go to your job to pick you up for lunch sometimes, he’d look at you strange. He’d look at me then at you, and when he’d catch me starin’ back, he’d turn away real fast. I only noticed it towards the end of our marriage. I knew something was up, but I knew in my heart nothin’ was goin’ on, so I never brought it up.”
“He never flirted with me until we were divorced,” Candy assured.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Baby. I know. I know you’d never cheat on me, and from the things you had said about him, he didn’t seem like the type to act on it. I knew he liked you more than as an employee or friend is all I’m sayin’. It was obvious.” Eric looked down into his lap sadly. “Enough of that though. We’ve to get you out of this mess.”
“We? We have to do nothing. You need to rest.” Candy’s cell phone rang. She grunted.
“Who’s that?” Eric asked as he tried to read her caller-ID.
Candy grimaced. “It’s him. It’s Quentin.”
“Gimme that damn phone!” Eric lunged towards Candy then withdrew painfully.
“Eric, no. If he finds out I’m with you, he may get even crazier,” Candy said.
“So you’re just gonna let him ruin your life, force you to have sex and dates and all this other shit? This dude’s a nut. I thought I was out there. On my highest and drunkest day, I’d never do some shit like this. This is about control, Candy. He saw you were happy and wants to destroy that. He doesn’t really want you back. He just thinks he does. He realized you moved on, and it bruised his little ego. You should call the cops on him!”
“I can’t. That would make it worse. I just need more time to figure this out.” Her voice message icon lit up. Candy looked at her phone hesitantly.
“Put it on speaker phone,” Eric demanded as she put in her password and played the message.
“Hi, Baby, this is Quentin, of course. Hey, I have a song I want to dedicate to you.” In the background played Notorious B.I.G.’s “Fuck You Tonight.” Quentin laughed deeply then hung up.
Eric rolled his eyes in disgust. “No way, Candy. You gotta stop this, now! At this point, so what if he tells about your relationship. He’s torturin’ you to death. I think you need to tell someone that can help you. I’m laid up here and can’t do anything, but you need to contact HR or someone. This guy’s harassin’ you.”
Candy wiped her face. “I can’t, Eric. It would ruin Gabriel’s career. We just found out another manager got fired for having a relationship at work.”
“They can’t fire him for datin’ you. Firing for that’s against the law unless,” Eric informed.
“Well, that isn’t entirely true at our company. It varies from company to company. Once you sign the contract to work there, you have to abide by their rules,” Candy frowned. “He’s my supervisor, so it makes it even worse.”
Eric nodded. They moved on to lighter subjects, and some time later Eric kissed her goodbye on the cheek.
“I’m gonna check on you tomorrow,” Candy said as she patted his hand once more before she left. Eric waited a few minutes, then picked up the hospital phone. He cleared his throat and waited.
“Hi, this is Eric Fields. I’m Candy Fields, I mean, Candy Benet’s ex-husband. I need to speak to Gabriel Justice righ
t away. It’s extremely important.”
* * *
Gabriel pulled up to his parents’ sprawling, brick, ranch home. Snow covered the front lawn in an undisturbed, white blanket. The worn American flag still waved on their front porch, the red and blue now faded with time. He closed his car door and slowly approached the front steps. Opening the squeaky screen door, he knocked softly, then waited. A small woman with high cheekbones and silver hair answered the door.
“Hi, Ma,” Gabriel said as he looked down at her. She reached her hand up to his face and stroked it. “My boy! My handsome son is here!” She immediately grabbed his hand and led him inside. “I didn’t think you’d come,” she said as she raced around, picking up the place.
“Well, I invited you and Dad for Christmas and had to cancel, so I thought I should accept your offer.” Gabriel smiled as he sat down on the old, plaid couch. He looked around the house and scowled.
“Ma, what are you and Dad doing with the money I sent you earlier in the year? I sent it to you so you could get new furniture,” Gabriel said in a worried tone. His mother shrugged.
“You know how your father is. He saved it. He’s afraid of being penniless. Let me get you something to eat. Oh, Gabriel, you’re so fetching. How’s my Allison?” she asked as she retreated happily into the small, yellow, wallpapered kitchen. Gabriel looked around his childhood home then shut his eyes, trying desperately to block out the unpleasant memories.
“She’s great. Mama, I’m not staying long. No need to get me anything to eat.”
“But you drove so far, why not?” she asked, sorrow in her voice.
“Because, Mama, you know I just can’t be here. I’m here for you and you only.” Gabriel folded his hands across his lap and looked aimlessly over at the old rabbit-eared television.
His father entered the room. Holding his knobby brown and gold cane, the stooped over man made his way across the time-worn shag carpet. He sat down across from Gabriel in his favorite light-blue faux suede chair. Gabriel watched as his father put on his black-rimmed glasses and glared at him. He looked much different than the man that Gabriel used to fear. He seemed to be a shell of his old self.
“So you finally decided to bring your ass home to see your folks, eh? Glad to see the city didn’t make you forget about us all together,” his father scowled. “You invite us down for Christmas dinner, get your mama all excited, then cancel at the last second. You always were rotten! Inconsiderate brat!” his father barked. Gabriel ignored him, turning back to the television.
“Gabe, I’m speaking to you. I don’t care how old you are, I’m still your father. You could at least say hello in my house!” He stomped his foot.
“Hello, Mr. Justice,” Gabriel said defiantly. “A father is a man who creates, raises, and loves children. You only did one.”
“Don’t you dare talk to me like that! You were always a smart alec. You were a fat fucker that always had to have the last word. You thought you were smarter than your old man, but you weren’t and still aren’t. So what if you made straight A’s! ‘A’ must have stood for ‘asshole!’ I don’t care that you’re on that there television! You may be a big shot in the city, but you’re a little fat kid who thought you were better than me here! If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have gone to college. I’m the reason for your success!”
Gabriel slowly crossed his legs and looked through his father as if he were transparent. His face expressed no emotion which only angered his father more.
“Please stop,” Gabriel’s mother pleaded as she touched her husband’s shoulder.
“I will not stop! He needs to be told the truth. I worked three jobs to put you and your brothers through school, and I gets no credit! All you and Mike want to talk to me about is how I talked to you. So what! Grow some balls and deal with it! He’s sitting here on his high horse judging me when I did everything in my power to take care of him and his brothers! We worked hard around here. I loved you. You know I did! That’s why I pushed you so hard,” his father yelled, spit flying out of his mouth with every other syllable.
“You think because you paid for our schooling that you had the right to call me names day in and day out, to shove my head against walls? You think because we have college degrees that you earned the right to call me a fat idiot? You told me I’d never amount to anything. I’d never say anything like that to Allison even if she was being a smart ass or doing something foolish. There’s a lot of power in words, especially for children. That’s really being a good father? You’ll never change. Mom, I’m leaving.” Gabriel stood up and headed towards the front door.
“Please don’t go, Gabriel,” his mother pleaded once more as she scurried behind him.
“No, no! Let him leave!” his father shouted as he rose to his wobbly feet. “That’s what he does. He runs away all the time when the going gets tough!”
Gabriel stopped at the door when he saw his cell phone ringing. “Hello, this is Gabriel Justice,” he said as he made his way outside into the front yard.
“Mr. Justice, I have a ‘Mr. Eric Fields’ on the other line. He says he’s Ms. Candy Benet’s friend. He’s calling from Good Samaritan Hospital and…”
“Did something happen to Candy?” Gabriel interrupted his assistant. “Get me her room number, I’m on my way!” Gabriel raced to his car before his assistant could finish her sentence.
“No, sir, Mr. Fields is the one in the hospital. He said he has something very urgent to discuss with you.” Gabriel’s shoulders relaxed. “Well, this is strange, but put him through.”
“Hello, Mr. Justice. This is Eric Fields, Candy’s ex-husband,” Eric began. Gabriel listened intently as Eric explained what he was told just hours earlier.
“So that’s the situation,” Eric finished. “I know you care about her. You love her, and she loves you, and even though she’ll hate that I called you, I had too. She’s in way over her head.”
“Please call me ‘Gabriel.’ I want to thank you for calling. I feel so stupid. I should’ve known something was going on to make her do this. I said a few things to her I really regret, and now I feel even worse. I ran into them the other night and kept thinking about what Quentin said about keeping them a secret. I’ll deal with Quentin as soon as I get back to Cincinnati. Candy has nothing to worry about.” Gabriel hung up the phone. He looked back at the house and saw his father standing in the doorway.
“What trouble have you gotten yourself into now?” his father asked as he hit his cane up against the door.
“You’re despicable,” Gabriel said as he approached him. “I have to go. There’s a problem with an employee I need to take care of right away.” Gabriel turned away.
“Well, if you ask me, you need to take care of the girl you’re in love with first,” his father retorted.
Gabriel stopped in his tracks. “What?”
“It’s all over your stupid face. I knew you invited us down for a girl. There was no other possible explanation. You two must have had a fight or something, and now you look like some love-sick puppy. You think I’m a mean old fart who doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Well, it’s not true. I love you and all of my boys. Why don’t you grow some damn balls and get her back, and then ask us down because you really want to see us, not because she should meet your family before you pop the question. I’m smarter than I look,” his father said.
Gabriel’s eyes welled with tears as he gripped his car keys. “You’ve never told me you loved me before,” he said, his voice shaking. Gabriel wiped his eye and put his finger up, “Hold on a second, Dad.” He immediately called Candy’s phone.
“Shit! Voicemail!” Gabriel hung up and turned back to his father who was looking at him sheepishly.
His father looked down shamefully and continued with his thoughts. “Well, I do love you, and I’m telling you now – better late than never. Who is this girl, anyway?” he asked, his dry, thin lips slightly parted.
Gabriel walked back up to the porch. His father
slowly opened the screen door, letting him inside. Gabriel’s mother smiled and handed him a glass of apple cider. Gabriel kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks, Ma.”
“Well?” his father asked as he slowly took his seat again in the large, worn chair.
“She’s a woman I work with. She’s very smart and…”
His father waved him off. “You don’t have to sell me on her. You were always too fussy when it came to women, so if you like her, she must be great.”
Gabriel took a sip of his cider then paused. “She’s Black.” He waited for his father’s reaction. His father looked at him and sneered.
“And? What? You waiting for me to say something racist? I know you think I’m a sack of shit, but one thing you can never accuse me of is being prejudiced. Jerks come in all colors. You never heard me talk bad about Black people around you, so why would I start now?” His father rolled his eyes. “That Beyonce girl is a looker. I’d date her if I were younger.”
Gabriel laughed. “Yeah, like Beyonce would have you!” he teased.
His father waved him off. “Besides, look how dark your mom is. She got mistaken for colored before!” his dad laughed. “Sicilian Princess! Beautiful as the day I met her. She has a natural tan.” Gabriel smiled and looked down into his glass.
“OK, so it sounds like you need to work that out, but I’m still here looking at your ridiculous ass.”
Gabriel chuckled and stood up. He hugged his parents and kissed his mother. His father then reached for his arm with his shaky, pale and freckled hand.
“Don’t be so quick to judge me. When you have a son that you’re trying to grow into a man, you’ll see what it’s like. With girls, the world likes ’em ’cause they’re pretty. With boys, if you can’t get a job, you’re a loser, your family starves, you get no respect from no damn body. That’s a lot of responsibility. Girls, especially the pretty ones, can always find a man to take care of ’em. Boys, they have to stand on their own two feet. When you have a boy, you remember this conversation,” his father said softly. Gabriel nodded and got in his car. As he drove back to Cincinnati, he sighed and pushed “autodial” on his car’s Bluetooth.
I Want Candy Page 33