Beautiful Savage

by Victoria Ashley

  “Why?” He opens the bag and empties the pills into his hand, coming at me and knocking the knife out of mine, before blocking me against the wall with his huge frame. “My shit not good enough for Jax’s girl? Just like it wasn’t good enough for his mother? We’ll see about that.”

  Keeping me in place with his body, he grabs my face with his free hand, his nails digging into my flesh. I fight against him, struggling to get free against his strength. “Get off of me, you bastard!” I push and scratch at him, but he shoves his hand into my face, forcing what pills he can into my mouth, the rest of them falling to the floor.

  I cry and scream, doing what I can to spit them out, but he grabs my face with both hands and forces my mouth shut.

  “Swallow like a good girl.” I refuse to obey him. Getting aggravated with me fighting still, he tosses me down to the ground and straddles me, before slapping me hard across the face. “Swallow, bitch!”

  Tears roll down my face as I shake my head side to side, the nasty taste from the pills coating my tongue.

  “Those not good enough for a cunt like you?” He slaps me again and releases my face long enough to reach into his shirt pocket to grab something. I take the few seconds of freedom to turn my head and spit out as much as I can, but some have already dissolved in my mouth.

  The bitter taste has me almost choking on my puke, but he turns me over enough that I’m able to spit out the acid burning my throat.

  “Jax is going to kill you.” I look up at him and spit in his face, my saliva mixed with the chunks I wasn’t able to get out.

  “Stupid bitch!” He wipes his face off and reaches for the plastic bag he dropped on the ground beside us, before gripping my face again to yell in it. “You want to play! Huh? Do you?”

  I kick and push at him, trying to shove him down to the ground, put he places his full weight on me while opening the bag of cocaine and shoving it into my face, doing his best to make me inhale by taking away my ability to breathe in clean air. “How’s my shit now, bitch? Tell me!”

  I blow out the best I can, while coughing on the powder I’ve inhaled, the back of my nose and throat going numb within seconds. “Fuck you.” I cry out, unable to stop the tears from coming now. “I hope he kills you. I hope he puts a bullet right into your skull. ‘Cause he will.”

  Fear registers in his eyes for a split second, before he punches me across the face and stands to yank me up by my hair. With all of his strength he slams my face into the wall, not once, but twice before he throws me across the room.

  The blood from my face stains the floor below me, most likely from my nose being broken, but I can’t feel my face, due to numbness.

  Next thing I know he’s on top of me from behind, ripping my jeans down my legs.

  I grip the carpet and cry, my body becoming too weak to fight back, and all I can think is that I might never see Jax again.

  That scares me more than the thought of death, and there’s a chance I might not make it out of here alive tonight. For whatever reason he’s determined to hurt me and I have no idea why. I was involved with James not him, although I have a pretty good idea this is a message for Jax.

  I lay here frozen, tears wetting my face as Jasper rips my panties to the side and forces my legs apart, giving him access to shove his fingers into my pussy.

  With a few forceful acts I’m taken back. Just like when I was fifteen, I feel dead inside, as I lie here helpless, being used like the piece of trash my father raised me to be.

  He rips my head back by my hair and shoves his fingers deeper inside, before leaning over me to whisper in my ear. “You’re fucking lifeless, you worthless whore. I’ll be back when you have some fight in you. I can’t wait to tear the fuck out of this pussy of yours while you scream.”

  I’m in and out of consciousness after that. I don’t know how many times his fingers enter me or how long I take his hits before I finally blackout.

  MY CHEST FEELS HEAVY AS I straddle my motorcycle and head toward Tessa’s house, hoping like hell Alexandra is safe and that Jasper didn’t send those motherfuckers after me as a diversion to get to her.

  I know Jasper well enough to know that fucker always has an agenda. He didn’t send his men with James for his benefit. He just made James believe that when he most likely had plans of his own. He’s a selfish fuck.

  Every thought makes me dizzy as I rush through stops, barely taking the time to look for vehicles. Nothing else matters to me at the moment except getting to her. If anything has happened to her, or if she was threatened in the slightest, I’ll kill Jasper and there will be nothing that can stop me.

  It feels a hell of a lot longer than it should when I pull my bike up in front of Tessa’s to see my truck parked in the driveway. A part of me is relieved to get to Alexandra, while the other part is terrified I’ll walk into something that will fucking break me.

  Climbing off my bike, I crack my neck, preparing for shit to go down, before I rush to the door and push it open.

  The living room is dark, the only light in the house coming from the hallway where Alexandra’s old room is.

  “Lex!” I take off toward the room, not waiting for a response from her, but my heart sinks when I find the room empty. “Goddammit. I’ll put a bullet in this fucker’s head, I swear.” I grip the doorframe and squeeze it, before turning around, heading back to the living room.

  It’s too dark to see shit, so I make my way over to the couch to turn on the floor lamp, pausing for a split second when I hear something crunch under my boot. Whatever it is there seems to be a lot, because there’s some more crunches beneath my feet as I continue my way to the lamp.

  As soon as light fills the room, I look down at the ground, my stomach twisting into knots when I see pills scattered on the floor and what looks to be residue of cocaine. “Fucking shit!”

  I flex my jaw, prepared to lose my shit as I look away from the mess on the floor to find Alexandra slumped against the back wall, her red hair covering her face. It takes me right back to the first time I laid eyes on her when she was just eight, except then she was curled up with her knees to her chest, a wave of white-blonde hair surrounding her.

  “Lex . . .” I barely get her name out, because the air gets sucked straight from my lungs when I get close enough to see blood staining her gray shirt.

  I immediately fall to my knees in front of her, everything around me spinning as I reach for her face and lift it. “Fuck! Fuck! Look at me, Lex. Look at me.” My gaze scans her face, everything inside of me close to exploding when I see it’s swollen and bloodied. She’s not responding to me which has more panic setting in.

  It takes me a few seconds to remember the pills on the floor, which has me pulling her into my arms and shoving my fingers down her throat.

  Tears fall down my face as I desperately try to force the pills out of her system. The scary part is that I don’t know how long she’s been like this. She feels lifeless in my arms. “Let it out, Lex. Fucking let it out! Please, just listen to me! Let it out, dammit!”

  I shove my fingers further into her throat and turn her over to her side as puke begins running down my hand. “Wake up! Fucking wake up.” I plead with her to wake up, but even after puking some of the pills out, she doesn’t come to.

  The door swings open, and on instinct I reach for my pistol and aim it toward the door, ready to put a bullet in someone.

  “Whoa! It’s me. It’s me.” Blaine throws his arms up. “What the fuck happened to your–? He stops, his eyes widening once they lower from my face to see Alexandra in my arms. “Holy fuck!” His eyes raise to meet my wet ones and he loses it, breaking the closest thing to him before he rushes over and grabs my shoulder. “Get her up now! Are the keys in the truck?”

  “I don’t fucking know! I don’t . . .” I run my hand over my wet face and Blaine rushes out the door, most likely to see if the keys are outside.

  My mind is on autopilot as I pick Alexandra up and carry her toward the door.

/>   “The keys are out here!” Blaine screams, running over to open the passenger door when he sees us step outside.

  I place Alexandra into the truck before I climb in and pull her into my lap, burying my face into her neck. The door slams closed behind us and within seconds Blaine is backing out of the driveway and we’re headed to the hospital.

  Blaine is talking, screaming shit, but I don’t understand a word that leaves his mouth, because the only thing I’m focused on is her.

  I can’t lose her.

  I can’t.

  I won’t survive without her again. Not after knowing what it feels like to have her back.

  Everything happens so fast. We made it in record time, pulling up out front of the emergency room. I’m so distraught that I barely remember carrying her inside and screaming for someone to help us.

  I remember fighting to go back with her and then standing here frozen, my face wet with tears as they take her away from me.

  I haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours and neither has Blaine. He’s been at my side the entire time, keeping me calm the best he can as Alexandra comes in and out of it.

  She had enough drugs in her system that she should’ve died. If I hadn’t gotten to her when I did, and if Blaine hadn’t shown up and rushed us to the emergency room, then she would’ve.

  There’s nothing I want more than to get to Jasper. He fucked up in the worst way possible, and now he’s going to pay the ultimate price. But I can’t and won’t leave Alexandra’s side.

  Every time I look at her beautiful face and see the cuts and bruises Jasper left behind, I can’t breathe. I’m surprised I’ve survived the last twenty-four hours from my lack of oxygen.

  “We’ll get that piece of shit back.” Blaine stands up from the chair he’s been sitting in and begins pacing the hospital room. He’s been doing this off and on since we arrived.

  “I know,” is all I can manage at the moment. All my fucking energy was drained the moment I saw her helpless on the ground.

  “I should’ve stayed there.” Blaine runs a tattooed hand through his hair, his nerves as shot as mine. “If I had been there this shit never would’ve happened.”

  “You had no reason to,” I say for the fifth time. “Tessa wasn’t there. This is not on you.”

  He stops pacing and looks at the door when it opens. Everyone has been in and out to check on her whenever they can. I’m not sure who it is this time and I don’t want to look away from Alexandra to see.

  “Hey.” Mark’s voice is quiet as he steps into the room. “Any updates?” he asks Blaine.

  Blaine called Mark right after we got to the hospital and explained to him that we don’t want to give up Jasper’s name, because this is something we have to handle ourselves.

  He nodded, knowing exactly what that meant. He may be a cop, but he’s a loyal-as-fuck one. He knows when to keep shit on the down low.

  “She’s still drugged up and will be in pain for a while, but she’ll be okay . . .”

  I phaseout their conversation and crawl back into bed with Alexandra, pulling her into my arms.

  Over the next ten hours she wakes up every so often and cries into my arms. It kills me over and over again, and I don’t give a shit who’s in the room with us. I cry with her and hold her to my chest, letting her know I’ll never let anyone hurt her again.

  The crew is in the cafeteria getting something to eat, but eating isn’t something I can do right now, and with all the bad thoughts running through my head I haven’t been able to stand still.

  It’s torture, because seeing Alexandra this way tears my fucking insides out, yet the thought of leaving her here in this bed, so I don’t have to look at her beaten to hell hurts just as much.

  “Jax.” Alexandra’s scratchy voice has me turning away from the wall and rushing over to her side. “I need to tell you what happened. Keeping it from you hurts and I don’t want to keep anything from you ever again.”

  I run my hand over her head and kiss her forehead, feeling torn up inside as tears well up in her eyes. “Fuck, baby. I hate seeing you cry.” It’s the worst thing in the world and I’ve seen it too much over the last few days since she woke up in this bed.

  My heart races when she looks up into my eyes and I know right then that it’s going to take a lot of strength not to destroy everything in this hospital room when I hear the shit that asshole put her through.

  Sitting on the bed, I cup her face in my hands and place my forehead against hers, letting her know I’m here to comfort her through this, whatever it is. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

  She shakes her head and places her hands over mine. “I don’t know, but I need to tell you, Jax. It’s eating me up inside.” She swallows nervously, her hands shaking on top of mine. “He punched me and threw me around as if I was garbage. But that’s nothing I’m not used to. I could’ve handled that just fine, Jax. But . . .”

  I run my thumbs over her wet cheeks when she pauses. “Dammit, I’m going to kill him. I hate with everything in me that this happened.” My heart slams against my ribcage as I wait for her to continue, because I know that’s not the worst part.

  “He said his drugs weren’t good enough for me just like they weren’t good enough for your mother. He forced a handful of pills into my mouth to prove a point. He kept hitting me and throwing me around, not caring that it was hurting me. I thought he was going to rape me, Jax. He yanked my pants down and shoved his fingers inside of me and said he’d be back for me. I felt disgusting and dirty. I blacked out after that, so I don’t know what else he did to me. I don’t know . . .”

  She begins shaking and tears fall heavier down her face as I hold her against me, rage coursing through me. After a few minutes, I can’t hold my anger in any longer, so I walk away from her, knocking shit over as I make my way to the wall and punch it over and over again.

  Someone opens the door and yells out for help, but I keep swinging out, unable to gain control.

  I don’t stop until Royal runs into the room and struggles to hold my arms back. “Save it for that dead motherfucker.” He growls beside my ear. “Let that hate you feel build up inside you and then use that explosion to destroy him.”

  I push Royal back and walk away, needing some room to breathe. How the fuck am I supposed to keep everything in when I can picture that motherfucker on top of her, violating her? I can’t.

  I grip my hair with both hands and kneel down in front of the wall to take a few breaths in hopes it will calm me down and help me think, but it doesn’t.

  The only thing on my mind is getting to Jasper and killing him. He deserves a slow, painful death, but every second he’s on this earth is a second too long.

  He has to die now. He’s done too much damage over the years and what he just did to Alexandra—he signed his death warrant.

  Seventeen Years Ago . . . Nine Years Old

  IT’S BEEN TWO DAYS SINCE my mother last came out of her bedroom. She’s been in there crying and sleeping and yells at me whenever I open the door to ask why.

  She doesn’t do anything anymore now that my dad is gone. I can’t even remember the last time she went to the store to buy us food. I’ve gotten used to feeding myself lately, but every time I go back into the kitchen to look for something to eat, there’s less than before.

  We have cereal, but no milk. Bread, but no lunchmeat or peanut butter and jelly. An open box of macaroni and cheese, but for some reason the cheese packet is missing.

  I haven’t eaten anything all day besides some stale crackers that have been sitting on the table for weeks and it’s already past my bedtime.

  Turning off the TV, I go back into the kitchen again and look through the fridge, my stomach growling as I search to find something that hasn’t gone bad yet. Every bowl I open stinks and makes me feel sick to my stomach, so I close the fridge and pull out the box of Lucky Charms I found in the cupboard earlier today.

  My stomach growls louder when I set the box on the table,
and it makes me wish we had some milk, so I can eat something good for once.

  The store isn’t very far from here. I could walk there by myself, but I don’t have any money of my own and my dad didn’t leave my mom with much when he took off.

  Having a smart idea, I run into the living room and lift the cushions on the couch to search for change. My dad used to always yell at me and make me give any coins I found to him, but he’s not here anymore to take them from me, so I pocket all of the quarters and dimes I can find, before quietly walking to my mother’s room to see if she’s awake.

  I doubt she’ll care if I’m gone, but I want to tell her I’m leaving so she won’t worry about me like she used to.

  When I push the door open, my mother is sleeping with a medicine bottle clutched in her hand. I don’t know what the pills are for, but she seems to be taking them a lot lately.

  Since I can’t tell her where I’m going, I decide I’ll run as fast as I can so I’ll make it back before she wakes up.

  Grabbing my jacket, I hurry outside and take off running through the grass, cutting through the backyard and across the yards of other houses.

  It’s faster this way, instead of walking all the way down the street and going around. That always takes forever.

  Once I get two blocks over, I stop to let a car drive by, before I run across the street and then slow down when I reach the grass.

  I’m cutting through another yard and get ready to run again, but stop when I hear what sounds like a little girl crying.

  I don’t know where it’s coming from, so I stay quiet and try my best not to make any noise. I listen to find out where it’s coming from.

  “Hello?” No one answers me, but I start walking toward the sound of the little girl’s cries until I find her curled up on the ground with her knees pressed to her chest.