by Aria Ford
And besides, in my heart I wanted to.
“Darby?” Alex frowned as I walked resolutely down the stairs in high-heels. I had dressed in the smartest things I'd brought with me, which were more like business-lunch material than dating material, but I reckoned that wasn't entirely inappropriate.
I still had no idea what was going on with Jared. I just knew that my curiosity was drawing me toward him like a magnet draws iron-filings. And I knew it was more than that. I was interested in him.
“What?” I said to Alex. My own voice sounded tense to my own ears and I swallowed hard, trying to clear my throat of the strange lump that had appeared in it.
“Nothing,” he said with a frown. “I was just wondering where you were heading to?”
I shot him a look. “Is there any reason why I shouldn't be going out?” I knew I sounded quite defiant, and I knew there was no reason for me to sound like that, but I did.
“No,” he shrugged lightly. “No reason. I was just wondering.”
“Well, since you ask,” I said lightly, “I'm going for dinner. With a friend.”
“Oh.”
He didn't ask any more than that, for which I was grateful. If he wondered who I could know out here in the middle of nowhere, or why I was dressed in a white linen blazer, oyster pink blouse and white slacks to go to dinner in Green River, he didn't ask.
“Well, I'll see you later,” I said easily.
“See you, sis,” he said.
His eyes followed me as I walked out, and I could sense he was worried for me. I didn't mind – I wasn't altogether sure I wasn't worried for myself. I still wondered what exactly I thought I was doing.
I must be crazy.
I got into my car – I was really grateful I'd managed to extend the hire for another four days – and headed into town.
In order to decide which restaurant to try, we'd had to exchange phone numbers. At this point, I thought that was no bad thing. After all, if I was going to risk having dinner with the guy, I reckoned I could risk him contacting me.
We had agreed to go to The Cliff Inn.
Despite the name, it looked online to be a fancier place – more in line with the place I'd taken him – and I felt a little bad. I had no idea what he was earning, but I guessed I earned more. I didn't know how to broach that subject.
Well, let him pay. You don't want to insult the poor guy. I felt somehow that he would be easily wounded by something like my offering to pay halves with him. He was arrogant, that was for sure – just look at how rude he was initially – but in myself I felt that covered a bruised heart.
The guy is full of mysteries.
I was still shaking my head when I pulled up outside of the place. As it seemed on the websites, it was a nice-looking place, a sort of vintage outside, done up like a log cabin, but with a modern interior and good music coming from inside.
I thought I might have arrived early again, but then I caught sight of him at a table in the corner. He was studying the menu instead of making eye-contact with anyone. He was wearing a black jacket and a navy-dark shirt and trousers. That was the first thing that struck me.
Dressed like that, he is absolutely stunning.
I wouldn't have thought he owned clothes like that, to be honest. But in a smarter setting he actually looked even better. Perhaps it was the contrast, or perhaps just the lean, strong face that practically asked to be dressed in a formal, stylish way.
He caught me looking. He smiled.
My heart warmed and a strange heat flooded through me. I walked between the tables towards the place where he was sitting, not really noticing anything round me.
“Hi,” I said shyly.
“Hi,” he replied.
I drew out my chair, feeling like I was floating. That strong, intense gaze was drawing me forward and I was quite powerless to resist it.
“So,” I said brightly. “How was your day?”
He smiled, a slow and lazy smile. “It was good,” he said. “I shoveled hay.”
I laughed. “Sounds like hot work.”
“It is.”
We were quiet for a bit, just looking at each other. I cleared my throat. I could feel his knee beside mine and that magnetic gaze was drawing me in again. Dammit, why was this guy so sexy?
“Um... you looked at the menu?” I asked, trying to think of something to say.
He shook his head. “Not really.”
I laughed and opened it. It looked interesting. The dishes weren't typical local food, as far as I could tell, but more like modern classics. I frowned.
“I think I'll take quiche,” I said.
He frowned. I wondered if he knew what it was. He was looking in the menu with a little frown and I pointed it out.
“Number three.”
“Oh!”
He read it and again I noticed that discomfort in this setting that I'd noticed when we went to lunch the previous afternoon. I felt as if I had captured a beautiful wild creature and brought it, untamed, into my tamed world. It was an odd feeling. I felt a little twist in my heart.
“Something to drink?” the waiter asked.
“Uh...coke, please,” he said. I ordered water.
It struck me that neither of us were drinking. I'd noticed that at lunch, too. Not that I thought it was strange – I don't drink and neither does Alex – but it was a surprise to me that a cowboy didn't also.
Don't pry, Darby. You don't know his back-story.
I didn't say anything.
“I'll take the grilled fish again,” he said. “Seemed good at the other place.”
I laughed. There was something so frank about him, so down-to-earth. I think that was what I liked about him. No-one else in my world was like him. I spent the day with neat, mannerly colleagues and did neat, mannerly things. He was so out of place in that sort of setting I wanted to giggle.
He put me in touch with the realities I'd forgotten.
“Okay,” I said. “You seem to like fish.”
He laughed. “It's famous round here,” he agreed. “And it was something I didn't have, growing up.”
I took in a big breath. This was the first time he'd really mentioned anything about his back-story.
Don't push it, Darby. Don't push it.
I sat back and kept my posture relaxed. Breathed easily and slowly. Leaned forward. It's one of those things that encourages people to talk. “Oh?”
“Yeah,” he said. He looked at his hands. “I... it was pretty rough,” he said. He looked up at me with an embarrassed grin.
“Oh.”
I didn't know what to say. I held my breath and waited while he started to talk.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Jared
I cleared my throat.
“I... this is going to sound weird, but I didn't have parents. Not exactly.”
“Oh?”
She was looking at me, but there was no judgment on her face, no scorn or any other kind of reaction I was used to.
“Well, I mean, I had them – I guess everyone does,” I laughed. “But I didn't see them. Not often.”
“Oh.”
“They had... issues.”
“Issues?”
I took a deep breath. “Yeah.”
She was just... waiting. Those big blue eyes held mine and I wanted to talk more. It made it feel better somehow.
I cleared my throat and carried on. “My dad was... a tough guy to live with. A tough guy generally. You know?”
“He was angry a lot?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
How did she understand exactly what I meant? The waiter appeared discreetly and left our drinks, giving me a moment to gather my thoughts.
“My dad used to hit my mom. I couldn't handle seeing it. It was...bad.” I took a big gulp of my drink without tasting it. I closed my eyes a moment, trying to drown out the memories. Mom sobbing, Dad storming out of the apartment, his boots making echoes in the hallway. I was under the table, trying not to move, breathe or
do anything else that would make it worse.
“It must have been terrifying.”
I nodded. I didn't feel weird admitting to her that I'd been terrified by it. Hell, I was five years old! Any child would be afraid of that, I realized as we talked.
“I wanted to run away. When I was fourteen, I did.”
“Oh.”
I drank again. Even though it was only Coke, it was a habit to drink something whenever I tried to access these dark places in my mind. I cleared my throat.
“I was...well, I was a teen on the street. What could I do? I stole stuff. I mixed with the wrong kinds of people. I had a hard life. I wish...”
“Mm?”
I closed my eyes, shaking my head. “It's dumb.”
“No,” she said softly. “Nothing's dumb.”
I sighed. “I wish I'd finished high school. Wish I could go to college.”
“I understand,” she said, nodding.
I smiled. It was weird, but I felt like she did. I didn't know anything about her – what her back-story or background was – but I was sure she had at least finished high-school! The fact she didn't judge me meant a lot.
“I...” I closed my eyes. I didn't know what else to say. How could I start? I'd had a hard life, joined a gang, done stuff I wasn't proud of – not in the least. I had thought about telling her about Callum, but that was too close, too painful.
“You had a hard time,” she said gently. “That's too bad.”
Her words were like a soothing salve on years of sores. I felt as if she had crept into the deepest core of me and healed something. I smiled. She smiled back.
“Thank you for telling me.”
I blinked. “Thank me? Thank you.”
For listening. For caring. For wanting to know.
At that moment the waiter appeared with our dinner. The scent wafted up to my nose and I breathed it in deeply, feeling my stomach knot with anticipation. I was really hungry.
We ate in silence, and during the meal I became aware again of the gentle pressure of her leg against mine. I let my foot slide over hers and felt a sweet ache in my body as her leg pressed into my knee. I closed my eyes, the stab in my groin intense.
“Darby, I...”
She looked into my eyes and her sweet blue gaze locked with mine. I felt my blood fizzle in my veins and my loins ached.
She looked down at her plate again, a modest look but with her cheeks flushed with color. I wanted her so badly then – I wanted her like I had never wanted anything in my life. It was a raging desire.
“Shall we settle the damages?”
I laughed. “I'm paying,” I said recklessly. I knew I had a bank balance that would swing into red if I sneezed on it, but I didn't care at this moment. I would cheerfully go there, for her.
“Jared,” she said gently.
“No. I will.” I felt stubborn about this.
She smiled. “If you insist.”
“I do.”
The waiter brought the bill. It wasn't as bad as I'd expected – the weird thing she ate wasn't as expensive as it looked – and then we were ready to go.
“Um..” I gulped as she stood.
“Yes?”
“It's nice out. You wanna, uh, go for a walk or something?”
“Okay.”
Her smile did that weird thing inside me again. I shivered with pleasure and walked out behind her.
She has such a sexy body.
I couldn't help noticing her rather ample behind. The perfectly-tailored pants emphasized it in the best possible way. With that narrow waist and full breasts it was just unbearably sexy, and I wanted so badly to touch. But I wasn't going to misbehave.
I was going to be a gentleman.
“Which way?”
I looked down the street and chose the nicer neighborhood. “That way.”
We headed along the street. It was a warm evening and I shrugged out of my jacket. I wondered if she would notice my biceps. It was silly, I knew. But I wanted so much to impress her.
“It's nice out,” she said. Her blonde hair lifted gently in the breeze and I smelled the sweet lavender perfume she used. I felt my loins tug painfully.
“Mm.”
We walked to the end of the street. The street abruptly stopped, leading off into the wilderness. We stood, looking out over a view of hills.
She looked up at me, those blue eyes big and sparkling. The sun had set but it was still light, the sky that pale blue color that it goes when the sun just went down.
“It's so beautiful.” She sounded awed.
“Like you.”
I didn't know where the words had come from. Hell, I'm Jared Manning. I haven't got any idea how to talk to girls. But that wasn't insincere – I meant it from the whole of me.
She stared up at me. Her eyes were full of feelings that I didn't understand. Abruptly, she started crying. Well, not exactly crying – her eyes welled up with tears and they started to flow down her cheeks. I felt my heart wrench.
“Don't cry,” I whispered. She smiled.
“I'm not crying.”
She reached into her bag for a tissue. As she wiped her cheek I reached up and touched it. She tensed, blinking those big blue eyes. She smiled.
She leaned forward and I did so as well.
Her lips moved across mine and we kissed.
As my tongue gently probed into her mouth I felt my loins tense and ache with desire. I couldn't quite believe this was happening. Her mouth was so warm, a soft cave that I was exploring with my tongue. I pushed it in further and she let me, her lips parting.
My cock was aching, burning. I wanted her so much it hurt.
She leaned against me and I felt that soft, warm body in my arms.
“Jared?” she said.
“What?”
“I...” she giggled. “Oh! Why can't I think straight?”
“That makes two of us.”
We both laughed and then we were kissing again. She was pressed against me and I knew that I couldn't withstand this need for her longer.
I looked into her eyes, not sure how to ask what I wanted to say. I couldn't even believe I was thinking it, much less thinking of asking it. But I had to.
Before I could speak, she looked into my eyes and whispered an answer. “Yes.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Darby
Jared kissed me with an intensity I had never experienced before. It's not like I hadn't kissed quite a few guys by then. But this kiss was so raw, so untamed, that it sparked me in a way a kiss didn't usually do.
As his arms held me against that firm, muscled chest, I felt myself melting. When he looked into my eyes, all hesitant and shy and not knowing how to ask what he thought, I melted more.
My answer seemed to take the wind out of him. He stared.
“You mean it?”
“Of course I do.”
I couldn't quite believe it myself. I was usually really proper. I don't usually do things like this. I am strait-laced and careful and sensible. But tonight was new. Tonight, the magic of this wild place had gotten into my soul and I was feeling wild.
He smiled at me hesitantly. “I wish my place was nicer,” he admitted shyly.
I smiled at him. “I'm sure it'll do.”
He blushed. His throat worked. He looked, if anything, quite scared. I stroked his hair. It was weird but it felt as if I was the teacher in this, even though he had lived a life so much more rough and wild than I had.
“I...” he cleared his throat. “I wish I had a better car.”
I laughed. We had reached the car-park by the restaurant and were standing by the pickup.
“It's fine, Jared. Really, it is.”
“It's not far from where I live, actually,” he said. “We could walk?”
“How far?”
“Two miles?”
I smiled at him. “I can risk the car?”
He nodded. “Okay.”