Eleanor

by S. F. Burgess

  “She did what?” Merl sounded confused.

  “Asked for Meran,” Conlan replied.

  “One of the most powerful people in Mydren offered her a gift of her choosing and she asked for a half-dead nag?!” Merl spluttered, disbelief making his voice louder.

  “Meran was once a fine horse,” Conlan said. “With the proper care he can be that again. Unfortunately it means that we must stay here for another two weeks while he has a chance to recover.” There was a pause.

  “Maybe we can use this time to our advantage,” Merl said thoughtfully. “We could leave the others here, and you and I could travel to Termont. It is the nearest town where I can send a message to my friend, but it is a little off course. If we go now, when we leave in two weeks’ time we can take the quicker, more direct route to Katadep.”

  “That is not a bad idea,” Conlan said, and Eleanor felt her overfull stomach lurch. He was going to disappear off with Merl, just the two of them, with no protection. Was he mad? She debated marching in on them and demanding an explanation. She jumped as an energy string brushed against her.

  Didn’t you say your mother told you it was wrong to eavesdrop? Freddie asked, walking up behind her.

  Merl is trying to convince Conlan to go with him to a town called Termont while we wait for Meran to get stronger. It will be just the two of them, in order to send a message, Eleanor told him, unable to keep the slight edge of panic out of her thoughts.

  I’m sure he’ll be OK. Let’s face it, the Lords of Mydren want all of us, so nothing would be gained from apprehending just Conlan, Freddie reasoned.

  You’re being remarkably calm and practical about this, Eleanor noted.

  That’s because if Conlan does agree to go with Merl, I’ll be going with him, Freddie told her.

  Great, so then I get to worry about both of you, Eleanor muttered.

  I’ll protect him, Eleanor, I promise. I failed you once, but it won’t happen again.

  Eleanor felt tears prickle her eyes and hugged him, touched by his thoughtfulness.

  I do love you, Freddie, you know that, right?

  Yes I know, Freddie said, gently kissing the top of her head.

  The door to the living room was pulled open and Freddie jumped, whipping his hands behind his back. It was a totally pointless gesture, as Eleanor still had her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. She wondered why he had done it. She turned her head and Conlan gazed at her, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

  “Spying in doorways are you now?” he asked, amusement running through the dwarfish.

  Eleanor blushed. “I just heard you talking as I was walking past…”

  Conlan held her gaze as her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red.

  Is Conlan angry with me? Freddie asked.

  No.

  He’s not jealous?

  No, he’s not jealous, why would he be jealous? Eleanor asked, slightly bemused.

  It’s different now… Freddie started, but then he stopped, unsure of himself.

  Eleanor was so perplexed that she ignored Conlan and stared into Freddie’s face. Nothing’s different, Freddie. I don’t understand.

  He… cares for you, Eleanor. And Eleanor heard pain in his voice.

  Freddie, he’s always cared for me, just as he cares for you, Will and Amelia; he’s just getting more comfortable with the concept. He’s getting better at showing his feelings. Nothing has really changed, and anyway, I don’t understand why he would be jealous.

  Freddie shrugged and looked uncomfortable, as if there was something he wanted to say but did not think he should.

  “Are they talking in each other’s heads again?” Merl asked, coming to stand at Conlan’s side. Trying to hide her embarrassment at being caught eavesdropping, Eleanor nodded.

  “We were discussing your trip to Termont. Freddie wants to go with you.”

  “It is your decision, Conlan, he can join us if you want him to,” Merl said. Conlan stared at them for a moment as Freddie gently returned his hand to Eleanor’s waist.

  “Pack your things and check your horse, Freddie, we’re leaving at first light tomorrow,” Conlan said. Freddie nodded and smiled. Conlan nodded, an odd look on his face, and he moved past them down the corridor with Merl trailing behind.

  Freddie took Eleanor’s hand and they wandered down to the stables. Horse and Meran were pleased to see them, and Eleanor spent some time petting and stroking the animals while Freddie checked out his horse, making sure all his kit was ready for the next day. Eleanor had never really paid much attention to Freddie’s horse, or Will’s and Amelia’s for that matter. She looked at the very average chestnut-coloured animal in front of her.

  “Freddie, what’s your horse called?” she asked from her perch on the corral fence. She held Horse’s head in her hands and scratched the animal’s face absently, her four-legged friend dozing in blissful contentment. She knew there were people around them, children staring; she tried to pretend it was just her and Freddie.

  “I call him John, but I’ve no idea what he thinks he’s called. He doesn’t answer to his name,” Freddie said, not looking at her, his attention on ‘John’s’ raised hoof as he checked it for splits or damage. Eleanor pushed an energy string into the animal’s head and giggled.

  Freddie looked at her over ‘John’s’ back, gently placing his leg back down. “What?”

  “Freddie, your horse doesn’t want to be called John, because that’s the name you call him when you’re angry and frustrated with him. He wants you to call him ‘Pal’, because that’s what you call him when you pet him and give him treats,” Eleanor said. Freddie stared at her and then moved to the horse’s head and took it in his hands.

  “I’ll call you Pal, if you like,” he told it as the horse nuzzled his head affectionately into Freddie’s chest.

  “Why did you call your horse John?” Eleanor asked, thinking it was an odd name for a horse – not that she had any room to comment, considering her horse was called Horse.

  “It’s my brother’s name,” he said quietly as he checked Pal’s other hooves.

  “Do you still miss him?” Eleanor asked, feeling guilty that she had not given her family and friends a second thought in months.

  Freddie sighed. “We were very close, best friends... I miss that.”

  “You have best friends, Freddie,” Eleanor said, not understanding the bitter melancholy in his voice. Freddie looked at her.

  “No, all I have is you. I don’t think I’d be in a hurry to call Will, Amelia or Conlan best friends. Will and Amelia think I’m an idiot and Conlan is too caught up in himself to notice me.”

  Upset by his obvious unhappiness, Eleanor thought his words through. Will and Amelia did not think Freddie was an idiot. Will found his juvenile humour and lack of manners grating on occasion and Amelia did not like being the butt of some of his ruder jokes, but they both loved him, she was sure of it. Eleanor suspected that Conlan, on the other hand, found Freddie rather funny, just as she did. He certainly seemed to have had more patience for his jokes and behaviour recently. Perhaps it was time he got to know Freddie better, maybe then he would appreciate him a little more. Conlan could do with more of Freddie’s silliness in his life, to stop him taking himself so seriously.

  “Will and Amelia don’t think you’re an idiot, they just don’t always appreciate your type of humour. They do love you,” Eleanor assured him. “Freddie, can I ask a favour of you?”

  “Always,” came Freddie’s immediate response.

  Eleanor smiled. “While you’re on this trip with Conlan, please make an effort to get to know him. Pull him out of himself, don’t let him wallow in silence and don’t let him spend the whole time talking to Merl in Dwarfish. Force him to talk to you, tell him about being a fireman. He’ll be interested, I promise. Tell him that story about the woman in her nightdress with the cat, he’ll find it really funny. If he gets difficult, tell him I asked you to talk to him.”

  �
�What if I irritate him?” Freddie asked.

  “I irritate him – a lot – and we’re still friends. Two people don’t have to agree on everything and do everything the same way to be friends, Freddie. So long as you tolerate and try to understand each other’s differences you’ll get along great. You never know, he might surprise you.”

  Freddie raised an eyebrow and looked very doubtful, but he nodded his agreement to her request.

  Dawn the next morning was cold and overcast. Dark, heavy rain clouds on the horizon hid the rising sun, making it feel earlier than it was. Merl was already packed and mounted, impatient to leave as Conlan and Freddie loaded up their things. Will and Amelia stood wrapped around each other in the chill, looking half-asleep. Nials had come to see them off and had given them some last minute supplies and instructions. Eleanor had not been able to get a quiet moment to talk to Conlan and she did not think hugging him and begging him to be careful would be something he would want her to do in public; however, not being able to say goodbye properly was making her miserable. Freddie saw her and walked over.

  “Cheer up, I’ll look after him and we’ll be back in twelve days,” he said, giving her a lopsided grin. At least she could hug him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and as she did so she pushed an energy string out to Conlan and gently caressed his shield. Freddie pulled away, smiling at her; she gave him a smile back, which turned his smile into a wide grin as he mounted his horse. Conlan did not look at her, as his view was fixed firmly on the road ahead, but his eyes did hold a slightly glazed look and he had a small smile on his face.

  Eleanor stood and watched them disappear into the distance while spreading her energy string out over Conlan’s shield, wrapping round it and supporting it. She had no idea if he recognised it, but she only pulled her string back when she felt it start to stretch so thin it was breaking apart. As it did so, Eleanor realised that the itch that had started in her brand was now a burning pain, indicating that Freddie was travelling out of mental contact with them. Will came and stood next to her, rubbing his brand, too; it was similar to Amelia’s, but his five wavy lines were horizontal across his wrist, not vertical, looking like waves on the sea. He put an arm around her shoulders, his voice soothing when he spoke.

  “You’ve been stood here hours, Eleanor. It’s starting to rain, come inside.”

  She nodded, allowing him to lead her back to their rooms, the weight of separation making her feet drag.

  Trying not to dwell on the huge hole that Conlan and Freddie’s absence had left inside her, Eleanor concentrated on getting Meran well. She was determined to have the animal restored to his former glory by the time Conlan returned. Thankfully, Meran seemed just as interested in achieving the same objective. With Horse’s help she took him through his paces and started to strengthen his muscles, and with the help of Laurice’s bemused chefs, she fed him lots of oil, fat and protein-rich food, cooked specially for him. Will and Amelia had given up trying to persuade her to sleep in her bed. Will had worried that one of the animals could move in the night and step on her or roll over and flatten her, but Eleanor had laughed herself silly at the notion and he had backed off, accepting that she was happier in the stables. What she had not told Will and Amelia was that sleeping with Meran and Horse’s warm bodies near her was the only way she could stop the dark, evil thoughts that preyed on her in her sleep. Horrific nightmares of Daratus murdering Merl, Freddie and Conlan stalked her dreams. It was fear she was able to keep a grip on during the day, but it surged forth to swallow her whole in the chilly black nights. The smell of horse and the warm, dozing bodies pressed into hers reminded her of the day she had spent with Conlan, bringing a measure of the peace she had found and giving her a few hours of undisturbed rest; enough to keep her going.

  The change in Meran was nothing short of miraculous. Eleanor had explained to him that he would be coming with them when they left and that he would be starting a new life with a new master to love him. The animal’s anticipation and excitement were visible in his expressions and movements. His wasted body seemed to fill out before Eleanor’s astonished eyes, new muscle tone showing through; his coat grew back to its old black shining lustre, and with Will’s assistance his sores healed. He was a huge horse, Eleanor realised, as she brushed his coat and plaited his mane and tail. He was taller at the shoulder than Rand had been, but where Rand had been sturdy, solid and mature, Meran was lighter. Just as strong as Rand, Meran’s strength was coiled inside him, making him high-spirited and playful like a teenager. On Eleanor’s careful diet his energy levels began to climb, so to wear him out a little she took him for runs into the surrounding savannah – no saddle, no bridle, just her and Meran, Horse trying her best to keep up behind them. The wind in her hair, the pounding of hooves and the gentle undulation of muscle as Meran galloped at full speed for the distant horizon, made Eleanor want to whoop and cheer at the exhilarating, life-affirming experience. Nials had been horrified when he found out. There was a reason, he said, that they had ceased their nomadic lifestyle and lived in a fortress – just because she had not met any of the roving bands of thugs that called the southern savannah home, it did not mean they were not out there. Eleanor had told Nials what had happened to the last roving gang who had tried to jump her. To her surprise Will had backed her up, telling Nials not to worry, as she was very capable of looking after herself. Nials had given Eleanor a dubious look but accepted Will’s reassurance. However, Will had insisted that she take her sword with her on her rides.

  She brushed Meran’s coat to a glossy shine, applying a little oil in places where the hair had not grown back fully and loving the warm, silky feel as she ran her hand over his body. The horse was jumpy and excited, mostly because Eleanor was jumpy and excited. They were due back later in the day and she wanted Meran looking his best. She had washed him, dried him, brushed him, combed and brushed his mane and tail, and she had even oiled his hooves. Horse watched, amused, but Meran seemed to love the attention. Eleanor had warned him not to get used to it, as she did not get many baths while they travelled, so it was unlikely he would. Once Meran was ready, she moved on to Rand’s red saddle. Nials had helped her make the adjustments so it fitted Meran’s narrow back, but she still needed to clean and polish it. Amelia came to visit, trying to get her to come inside to have something to eat. Eleanor had ignored the request, showing her how much work she still had to do. Sighing, Amelia had sat down next to her, grabbing a leather stirrup strap and a cloth so she could rub saddle oil into the cracks. They had finished the saddle and moved on to the bridle when their brands began to itch. Eleanor caught Amelia’s eye and they grinned at each other. The pain in their brands moved up to an uncomfortable burning and Amelia helped Eleanor saddle Meran, which was proving to be tricky, as the animal was practically jumping up and down like a dog in his excitement. Taking light hold of his reins, Eleanor led him out of the stables and down towards the main gates. Meran had his head held high and his steps were very pronounced and elegant; he looked stunning and the red saddle looked amazing against the black of Meran’s back, its silver studs sparkling in the afternoon sun. Will was already waiting for them, rubbing absently at his brand. He smiled appreciatively at Meran.

  “Eleanor, he looks like a different horse, you did a great job,” he said as they got closer.

  Eleanor smiled. “I had help, lots of it... He’s not fully mended yet, but he’s eighty per cent there and certainly healthy enough to join us when we’re ready to leave.”

  The gate was pulled open. In the distance Eleanor could see three figures and her heart leapt. It was only as they got closer that Eleanor realised she could hear laughter – uncontrolled, ‘rolling on the floor’ belly laughter – and with shocked surprised she recognised it as Conlan’s. They walked under the gate, he and Freddie in fits of hysterics about something. Conlan was laughing so hard he was holding on to the front saddle to steady himself. Merl followed behind, a look of amused confusion on his face. Will and Amelia w
ere staring wide-eyed at Conlan, as if he was some strange alien they had never seen before. He sat in his saddle, trying to get himself under control as Freddie leapt off his horse and pulled Eleanor into a tight hug, the pain in her brand disappearing as he did so. He kissed the top of her head and then pulled back, his nose wrinkled in mock disgust.

  “Eleanor, you stink. Have you been living in the stables?” he joked.

  “Yes she has,” Will said, still not able to take his eyes off Conlan. Freddie frowned. Not wanting to ruin his good humour, Eleanor gave him a wide smile.

  “So which story did you tell him to illicit that reaction?” she asked, nodding towards Conlan, who was still shaking with sporadic bursts of laughter. Freddie sniggered, looking unbelievably pleased with himself when he saw the expressions of surprise on Will and Amelia’s faces.

  “I told him about that guy who got stuck in his garden railings.”

  Eleanor giggled. “The one who claimed he had slipped?” she asked, remembering the story.

  Freddie nodded, holding her gaze. “Thank you, I had a great time.”

  “Meran?” Conlan asked incredulously. He had managed to stop laughing and dismount, greeting Will and Amelia with a brief hug, which did nothing to remove the looks of surprise from their faces. He regarded the horse, a delighted grin growing as he walked towards Eleanor. At his comment, Freddie seemed to notice the huge animal standing behind her for the first time.

  “Eleanor, he looks amazing,” Freddie said, slowly moving around the horse. Eleanor watched Conlan approach. Not wanting to embarrass him by throwing herself into his arms, she pushed an energy string out to him instead, bringing him to a juddering halt in front of her. A shiver passed through his body and his eyes glazed slightly. She smiled at him and handed him Meran’s reins.