Dirt Road Home

by Watt Key

  Tattoo hit me in the face.

  “And some more.”

  He hit me again. I felt the coppery taste of blood in my mouth. Then I saw it running down his hand.

  “You spit it out. Here’s some more.”

  He hit me again. And again. And again. Until he finally let me loose and I slid down the wall and stared between my knees, drooling blood.

  “But maybe Jack and his rejects will let you play. They’re not real selective. Come on, Dead. Let’s let him chew on that.”

  After I heard the confessional door shut behind them, I rolled over and felt the cold tile of the floor on my cheek.

  11

  I woke to water being poured over my face and stared at the tips of black shoes.

  “Wake up, kid,” Mr. Pratt said.

  I tried to respond, but the room was spinning and I felt like I would puke. After a few seconds he leaned down and got me over his shoulder and carried me like you would a sack of dog food. I watched the scenery blur past as I jounced up and down to his gait. We went past the mess room and through the double steel doors into the administration area. Then we went left down another hall until we came to the infirmary.

  Mr. Pratt dumped me onto a bed and studied me. “Who did this?” he asked.

  I couldn’t answer him.

  “Nurse’ll be here shortly,” he said. Then he walked out.

  I passed out again before the nurse arrived. I had dreams of being at the clay pit with Daddy, lying on my bed in the house trailer, feeling my two dogs against me and the breezes slipping through the pines and through my open window. Hearing Daddy snoring in the room next to me and feeling safe and right. I dreamt about Carla and the time I couldn’t help myself and leaned over and kissed her on the tailgate of my truck. And the way I’d felt when she’d kissed me back and then later when she’d stood behind me and put her hands in the front pockets of my jeans and pulled close against me.

  I woke the next day to someone shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw an older woman, shriveled and hardened beneath her nursing uniform. I heard the noise of the boys in the distance. I wanted to plug my ears. I wanted to cry.

  “You’ve had enough sleep,” she said.

  I lay there while she changed the bandages on my face and made notes on a clipboard.

  “I didn’t do anything,” I finally said to her. She nodded absently.

  “I was—”

  “You can tell Mr. Pratt about it shortly.”

  She hung the clipboard on the wall beside my bed and left. I reached up for it and pulled it down. I read the report.

  Administration Section

  Resident: Henry Mitchell #135

  Summary: Patient involved in violent incident with unknown assailants.

  Location: Washroom North

  Comments:

  Medical

  Diagnosis: Abdominal bruising. Bruises around the neck. Various cuts and bruising about the face. Possible concussion.

  Treatment: Disinfect and clean wounds, Ibuprofen

  I assumed Mr. Pratt had filled out what I saw in the administration section. The handwriting didn’t match the nurse’s below.

  I put the clipboard back on the wall. After a short while the nurse returned with breakfast. I was eating in bed when Mr. Pratt walked in. The building was quiet and I figured the rest of the boys were already in their classrooms.

  “What happened?” he said.

  “They jumped me. I was just goin’ about my business.”

  He took out his pad and a pen. “Who was it?”

  I didn’t answer him. After a second he looked back at me. “Don’t get on the wrong side of me.”

  “I can’t say who it was.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “They jumped me.”

  He shook his head, made some notes, and put the pen and pad back into his shirt pocket. “Okay, kid. You wanna learn the hard way, that’s fine with me. I get paid the same. Maybe next time you’ll be a little more observant.”

  He turned back to the nurse. “Go ahead and send him back out there, Mrs. Phillips.”

  I went to the bunk room to get my books for class. A new bar of soap, fresh towels, and toilet paper had been placed in my locker. I shoved the soap back behind the towels, hoping no one would take it this time.

  On my way to my classroom I saw Mr. Pratt leading a new boy through orientation. A white kid maybe a year older than me. He looked stunned and scared. We locked eyes for a moment and then I looked away. I passed the hall to solitary and glanced at the black doors. They were closed as usual and no sounds were coming from behind them.

  The instructor didn’t stop talking when I entered the classroom and went to my desk. The boys watched me, but I didn’t pay attention to them. I sat down and pulled my books out and stared blankly at the chalkboard and fingered the bandages on my face.

  12

  I was one of the first into the mess room for lunch. I got my food and went to my seat in no-man’s-land. Caboose came in after me and took his seat. After a while Leroy came through the door. He was pale and weak-looking from his stay in solitary. He glanced at me and then moved on. I studied the red, crusty wound etched into his neck.

  After lunch we returned to our classes. I sat through another useless lesson as the boys talked and joked and wadded-up paper flew by my face. A couple of times they tossed things at the instructor. He kept scratching on the blackboard and mumbling to himself like we didn’t exist.

  It started raining that afternoon, so we went back into the main building after class. I went to my bunk while the others went to the rec room. I saw that the bed below me was made up with new sheets and stocked with the usual supplies. I guessed this was for the new boy.

  I heard someone coming and looked up to see Paco. The floorwalker cocked his eyes our way and shifted slightly. Paco strolled up to my bed and stopped. He began feeling the new sheets below me between his thumb and forefinger. Then he spoke quietly without looking at me.

  “Now, there is only one way to avoid this,” Paco said, as if he’d been thinking long and hard about my situation.

  “Is this some kind of game to you?” I said.

  He didn’t answer my question. “I think you must become the leader yourself,” he said. “You see, the leader does not have to fight. He lets others do his fighting for him.”

  “You had to fight at some point.”

  He nodded. “Yes,” he said. “But just once.”

  “You want me to fight you?”

  He chuckled. “No. That would be bad advice.”

  “You want me to fight Jack?”

  “You see, I am a bulldog. Jack is a terrier. A bulldog rules through strength. A terrier rules with fear. They yap and bark and leap in your face. I would bet on strength any day.”

  “I guess Mr. Fraley gives everybody the same speech.”

  “He is just on the other side of a truth.”

  “That would be fun for you to watch, wouldn’t it? Why don’t you just kick Jack’s ass your own self?”

  “Because I don’t have to.”

  “You’ve got me wrong, Paco.”

  He looked at me. “Tell me why it is that a person would not accept the help of others in here.”

  “Because I’d owe you. And I’ve seen what the payback is. And I promised somebody I wouldn’t get in trouble here.”

  “You must really have a debt to this person.”

  “I do. It’s my daddy.”

  “Ah, so you have some hope. You think you will be rescued?”

  “He’s doin’ his part. I’m doin’ mine.”

  “Yes, but can you do your part with the guards against you? They will write what they want in their notepads.”

  “How do you know they’re against me?”

  “They are against all of us.”

  “I don’t see how fightin’ Jack’s gonna solve anything. I think I’ll take my chances on the fence.”

  Paco nodded and stepped away from the bunk
. He let his fingers slip from the sheet. “There is a new boy here today. Have you seen him?”

  I nodded.

  “As long as you stand in no-man’s-land, the new boy will fight you. Each new boy. From my side, from Jack’s side. One after the other. That’s the way it is.”

  “Except for Caboose.”

  “That’s right. Except for Caboose.”

  He was silent for a moment. Finally he said, “I imagine Jack will make you another offer before the end of the week.”

  Fifteen minutes after Paco left, the new boy came into the room. He came up to our bunk and held out his hand. “I’m Chase,” he said.

  “Don’t waste your time, Chase. We’d both be makin’ it harder on ourselves.”

  He drew his hand back and looked confused.

  “You see Mr. Fraley?”

  He nodded.

  “You have any idea what he was talkin’ about?”

  Chase shook his head.

  “Well, you will soon enough. And I’m gonna help you out some since you’re just standin’ there. You’re gonna have a decision to make in the next couple of days. You better go Hell Hounds.”

  “Why?”

  “Choose Hound. That’s all you need to know.”

  “What’s Hound?”

  “Paco’s boys are Hounds.”

  “What about you?”

  “You’ll find out about me.”

  He studied me curiously.

  “You remember how to get to the rec room?”

  He nodded.

  “Go on. They’re waitin’ for you out there.”

  “Okay,” he said suspiciously. “I’ll see you around.”

  “Yeah, you will,” I said.

  13

  Chase sat across from me during supper. “They asked me,” he said.

  I kept chewing and didn’t look at him.

  “Both sides,” he said.

  I swallowed. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

  “They say you have to claim.”

  “Yeah, they do.”

  He looked at Caboose. Caboose studied his tray and chewed. “What about him?” Chase said.

  “Don’t worry about him.”

  “What about you?”

  “You need to worry about yourself.”

  “What are you gonna do?”

  I stopped eating. I stared at him. He watched me with a dumb expression on his face. Finally I picked up my tray and moved away.

  I lay alone on my bunk that evening and listened to the commotion of the boys in the rec room. The floorwalker was at the end of the corridor, staring at nothing, occasionally working his jaw like a cow chewing grass.

  Paco walked through the door at the other end of the bunk room. He stopped in the aisle at the foot of my bed and spoke softly to the floor. “Thank you for the referral,” he said.

  “I didn’t do you any favors.”

  “He is weak, but maybe my boys will make something of him.”

  I didn’t respond.

  “You know, we have initiation on Thursdays.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “I don’t make the rules anymore. I am just a spectator.”

  I didn’t answer him.

  “I think you are already a Hound.”

  “Yeah, you think wrong, Paco. I’m gettin’ sick of this, but I ain’t done with it. Maybe I’m just tired of layin’ down in front of that Preston loser. He’s about the biggest wuss there is. I’m gonna send ’em all your way as long as he’s around. I’m gonna see him outside this fence one day and I’m gonna tear his ass up. Right up. And spit on it.”

  Paco smiled. “You should watch out, Hal. With thoughts like that, you may not be able to keep your word to your father.”

  I looked away.

  “And you would disappoint me,” he added.

  Chase spoke my name in the darkness.

  “No talkin’ after lights-out,” I said.

  “I told the Hounds I would join.”

  “I know, Chase. Go to sleep.”

  After class on Tuesday Preston approached me from across the yard. I looked at Mr. Pratt and he turned away.

  “Jack says he’ll give you one more chance,” he said.

  “Why don’t you tell Jack to come talk to me.”

  “He doesn’t talk to nonmembers.”

  “Well, tell him to send over somebody I trust.”

  Preston’s face turned red. “This is his last offer. I’ll make sure of that.”

  “Do what you gotta do.”

  Preston stomped off. I watched him approach Jack and spurt out his complaint. Jack turned and looked at me. He put his hand through his hair. Then he said something and Preston shook his head and walked away.

  I looked at Caboose. He was scratching lines in the dirt with the toe of his shoe.

  “Caboose,” I said.

  His toe stopped moving.

  “What gives in this place?”

  His toe started moving again.

  Thursday. The basketball came rolling up to my feet and stopped. Mr. Pratt turned his back.

  Chase came across the yard and stood before me. “You wanna hand me that ball?” he said.

  The Hounds and Ministers watched. Jack seemed to take a special interest and moved out in front of his gang.

  “You’re gonna have to do it without the ball,” I said.

  “What?”

  “Go ahead. They’re all watchin’ you.”

  “You know what this is about?”

  “Mr. Pratt’s not gonna stay turned around forever, Chase. You better throw a punch.”

  “In the face?”

  “You ever been in a fight before?”

  Chase shook his head. I spit and turned to Caboose. “Christ, man. Can you believe this, Caboose?”

  He stared at his shoes and didn’t respond.

  “I’m gonna have to teach this guy how to kick my ass.”

  I turned back to Chase. “Listen, as long as I’ve got a say in this, why don’t you just hit me in the shoulder and I’ll go down. Then you can kick me in the stomach a few times. My face hurts pretty bad from last week.”

  Chase nodded. “Okay. You wanna turn sideways or anything?”

  “Fine,” I said. “Just come on and do it.”

  He took a step toward me and drew his arm back. I turned sideways and held my breath and closed my eyes so I wouldn’t flinch. I waited. Nothing happened. “Come on, Chase,” I said.

  Still nothing happened.

  “Chase . . .”

  Still nothing.

  “I’ll count to five for you. On five, you hit me. How’s that?”

  No answer.

  “One . . . Two . . . Three . . . Four . . .”

  “Don’t do it,” someone said.

  I opened my eyes. Jack was only a few feet away and Chase had paused with his hand in the air.

  Jack covered the rest of the distance to Chase, grabbed his arm, and pulled it down, watching me the whole time. “You owe me,” he said.

  I gazed around the yard. Both gangs and Mr. Pratt were watching us. Jack let go of the arm and it fell to Chase’s side. “I won’t do this again,” he added.

  “I didn’t ask for it in the first place,” I said.

  “What do I do?” Chase asked me.

  “You might as well go stand next to him in no-man’s-land,” Jack said.

  “I don’t owe you anything,” I said to Jack. “I never will.”

  Jack’s jaw tightened and his mouth started twitching and I saw the temper boiling up into his cheeks. “I’m gonna tell you to do somethin’ right now, smart-ass. And you better do it ’cause I’m gettin’ fed up with you.”

  I felt weak in the knees. I kept my eyes on him but didn’t answer.

  “Hit Chase in the face,” he said. “Initiate yourself.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Chase look at me in alarm. I didn’t move.

  “Hit him!” Jack yelled.

  I slowly shook my head. I saw M
r. Pratt walking toward us. Come on, I thought to myself. Get over here.

  Jack grabbed Chase and shoved him hard into me. Both of us fell back against the fence. “Hit him!”

  “Hey!” Mr. Pratt yelled across the yard.

  I straightened up and Chase rolled away and backed against the fence beside me. Jack’s hand shot out and grabbed me by the throat and pinned me to the wire. He was breathing heavy through his nose, and his eyes danced with craziness.

  Anger rose inside me. I clenched my teeth and balled my fists at my sides. “You can do what you want,” I said. “I wouldn’t join your bunch if my life depended on it.”

  Jack stepped closer and got nose to nose with me until his breath fanned my face.

  “Maybe it does depend on it,” he said.

  “I didn’t do anything,” Chase whimpered.

  “Shut up, Chase,” I said.

  Mr. Pratt came up behind Jack and grabbed his shoulder. Jack jerked away and kept his eyes on me.

  “Back off,” the guard said to him.

  Jack dropped me and turned. He eyeballed Mr. Pratt until the guard looked away. “You know better than to touch me,” Jack said.

  “Go on back over there,” Mr. Pratt said.

  Jack watched him for a second more, then turned to me. “That was it,” he said to me. “You just burned through your last chance.”

  14

  That evening I got a letter from Carla. I opened it and found another envelope inside with Leroy’s name on it.

  Dear Hal,

  I’m glad I got to see you last weekend, even though we didn’t get much time to talk. I hope I didn’t get you too worried about my dad and what he thinks about you. He liked you when he first met you so I told him that you going away to your new school shouldn’t change anything.

  I didn’t tell you this, but you were my first real date. I never had a boy just come up and ask me like you did. Boys ask my older sister out all the time, but not me. Daddy says I’m not old enough, but I guess I am now! Everything will be fine, I’m sure about it. I hope you get to come home soon. I’ll be thinking about you.