The Firefighters Baby
Page 17
Jason squeezed her hand but his gaze was fixed on Shelley. ‘So…if you loved Darryn that much, why were you prepared to marry me?’
‘It was Darryn’s idea,’ Shelley said. ‘His best mate—the one in Dunedin—has been living in New Zealand ever since his parents emigrated. Darryn’s been wanting to emigrate for years. It was…it was his dream.’
Shelley’s voice still sounded hoarse from the damage of smoke inhalation and she coughed at frequent intervals. Laura could sympathise with that discomfort. She also knew that Shelley was far worse off than she was due to the injuries she had received in trying to find and rescue her boyfriend from the fire.
Shelley blew her nose, holding tissues awkwardly between her bandaged hands. ‘Is Megan all right?’
‘She’s fine.’ Jason nodded. ‘They’re keeping her in overnight just to make sure her breathing’s not affected.’
‘I tried to save her but I couldn’t stand up long enough to open the window. I broke my ankle when I fell trying to drag Darryn…and then I had to go back for him…’
‘She’s fine,’ Laura said reassuringly. ‘You did well, Shelley.’
‘No…’ Shelley shook her head miserably.
‘Yes, you did. If she hadn’t been right beside that window it would have been impossible for me to carry her. And putting her on the floor was the best place with all the—’
‘No.’ Shelley shook her head more vigorously. ‘I meant, I’m not Shelley. I’m Sharon.’
‘But…’ Jason was staring at her blankly. ‘The birth certificate says that Shelley is Megan’s mother.’
‘She is.’ The woman in the bed closed her eyes and there was a long silence.
‘I don’t understand what’s going on here,’ Jason said finally.
Neither did Laura. ‘Are you OK, Shell—Sharon? Do you want me to find a nurse? Do you need to sleep for a while?’
‘No.’ With a weary sigh she opened her eyes. ‘There’s no point keeping this up any longer. Not without Darryn.’ Tears began to flow again. ‘There’s no point at all any more.’
‘Can you tell us, then?’ Jason asked gently. ‘Why you’ve been pretending to be your twin sister?’
‘Because Shell always had everything.’ Even through her exhaustion and pain, Sharon sounded bitter. ‘She was the pretty twin. The clever one. She always got everything she wanted. I was just her shadow. The booby prize.’
‘Where is she now?’
‘She’s dead, like I told you. Except that the blood clot wasn’t caused by her being on the Pill. She had to have a Caesarean to have Megan and something went wrong. She did live for a few weeks and she asked me to find you and make sure Megan was going to be all right. She knew I’d never want to bring up her baby and…and that was when Darryn got the idea.’
‘Of you marrying me?’
Sharon nodded. ‘Shelley said you’d only have to spend some time with Megan to love her and she said you were too nice to abandon your kid after that. I was going to get my permanent residence, divorce you and then find a way to marry Darryn.’
‘But that would have taken years.’ Laura shook her head.
‘That didn’t matter. It was Darryn’s dream and he’s the only person that ever loved me just for myself and not because they couldn’t have Shelley.’
Laura felt her level of sympathy rise a few notches. She knew what it was like to want to be loved just for yourself. The plan could have worked, too. Jason would do anything for his daughter now. He probably wouldn’t hesitate to marry Laura to give her a mother. In fact, Laura was surprised he hadn’t proposed already at some point during the incredibly long day they’d had so far.
‘So what now?’ Jason asked quietly. ‘What do you want us to do, Sharon?’
‘I want to go home. As soon as they’ll let me. I never wanted to come here at all, really.’
‘And Megan?’
‘She’s your daughter.’ Sharon turned her face away. ‘That’s up to you.’
‘We’ll do what we can to help you get back to England quickly,’ Jason promised her. ‘Will you help us sort all the official stuff that will be needed to make sure Megan’s allowed to stay with me?’
‘Sure.’ Sharon’s eyes closed again. ‘I need to sleep now. Come back tomorrow.’
Hand in hand, Jason and Laura walked through the quiet hospital corridors on their way back to the paediatric ward to see Megan again.
‘She’s going to be mine,’ Jason said in wonder. ‘Really mine.’
‘I’m so happy for you, Jase.’ It was hard to sound really happy, though, when part of her heart was breaking.
Jason must have caught something in her tone. ‘But it means that everything is going to be OK.’ Jason pulled Laura to a halt and turned her to face him. ‘For all of us.’ His face lit up as he caught hold of her other hand in his. ‘Will you marry me, Laura?’ His smile widened. ‘And be Megan’s real mother?’
For a long moment, Laura looked up at Jason, taking in every beloved feature. Then she let her breath out in a soft sigh.
‘No,’ she said softly. ‘I’m not going to marry you, Jason.’ Another piece of her heart cracked and she tried to pull her hands free, but Jason’s grip was far too strong.
The joy, along with some of the colour, faded from Jason’s face. ‘But…but why not? I love you, Laura. Megan loves you. I…I thought you loved us.’
‘I do. And what we have together is wonderful. It’s just not enough to base marriage on.’
‘But why not?’ Jason looked genuinely and totally bewildered. He was still holding Laura’s hands as he pulled her gently out of the way of a patient’s bed being wheeled along the corridor with attending medical staff. He leaned back against the wall and finally let go of Laura’s hands when the procession had passed. ‘I don’t understand,’ he said.
‘I’m not going to spend the rest of my life trying to earn your love,’ Laura told him gently. ‘I’ve been there and done that and I’m never going to do it again.’
‘But I do love you.’ Jason’s voice was loud enough to make one of the nurses following the bed down the corridor to turn and stare. Then she grinned and gave him a thumbs-up signal.
‘Not the same way I love you,’ Laura tried to explain. ‘And that’s what I need if I’m ever going to marry someone and spend the rest of my life with them.’
‘But…but I couldn’t love you any more than I do.’ Jason was trying to keep his voice down but the intensity of his words made it difficult. ‘I’ve finally found out what love really is,’ he said. ‘I’m in love with you, Laura. But I love you as well.’ He shook his head, frustrated that he couldn’t express himself clearly enough. ‘I can’t lose you,’ he added desperately. ‘I’ll never love anybody the way I love you. You’re…you’re my life now.’
‘Not really.’ Laura could feel tears gathering as she let Jason’s intensity and sincerity wash over her. It was so obviously real. She had known how genuine it was when she’d seen his face in the ambulance that morning. But was that love really for her? The way hers was for him? ‘I know you love me, Jase, but how much of how you feel is because I’m part of a package for you?’
‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’
‘Megan,’ Laura responded simply. ‘You want a mother for Megan.’
‘No!’ Jason shook his head sharply. ‘Well…yes, but I would want to marry you anyway.’
‘Would you?’ Laura queried softly. ‘Are you sure about that, Jason?’
‘Of course I am.’
‘When you thought that Shelley—I mean Sharon—was going to take her away, you said yourself that Megan was the most important thing in your life. That she was what really mattered.’
‘But…’ Jason frowned ferociously as he tried to recall the conversation. Then his face cleared. ‘Of course I had to do what’s best for Megan, but part of why it was so important was to do with you. I knew if I lost her I might lose you, and that was a risk I didn’t want to take.’
‘Why on earth did you think that, Jase?’
‘Because she was what brought you into my life. You loved her.’
‘But I loved you first.’
‘Really?’ Jason’s smile finally appeared again, just on one side. ‘You mean the guys were right? You offered to help me look after Peanut because you fancied me?’
Laura let the embarrassment of having been discussed in such a fashion pass. This was no moment for pride. ‘I fancied you the first moment I saw you,’ she admitted. ‘The first day I started at Inglewood station on Green Watch.’ She dipped her head shyly. ‘It did take a few weeks to fall in love with you, though.’
‘You were in love with me? And I didn’t know anything about it?’
‘Why would you? I didn’t really exist as far as you were concerned. Not enough to notice, anyway.’
‘I just didn’t know you.’ Jason looked embarrassed at the truth of Laura’s words. ‘I was blind, Laura. Immature. Is that why you won’t marry me?’
‘No.’
‘Why not, then?’
‘Because I can’t know whether you love me as much as I love you.’
‘I love you more,’ Jason declared.
Laura grinned at the confident tone. ‘How could you know that?’
‘There’s more to love. All I have going for me that isn’t totally shallow is that I’m Megan’s dad.’
‘And you thought that would be the reason I’d want to marry you?’
‘Why else?’
‘Because I love you, you bloody idiot,’ Laura said through her laughter. ‘The way I feel about you has nothing to do with Megan. I’d feel exactly the same if Megan didn’t exist.’
‘And that’s the way I feel about you.’
‘Prove it,’ Laura challenged.
‘OK.’ Jason took hold of Laura’s shoulders and lowered his head. He kissed her more thoroughly and more tenderly than she’d ever been kissed in her life. A wolf-whistle came from somewhere down the corridor and Jason finally let her go, his expression triumphant. ‘How was that?’
‘Fabulous.’ Laura felt the bubble of joy inside her explode into a tingling excitement that filled every cell in her body.
‘So will you believe that I love you…for just you? Will you marry me now?’
‘Yes.’ Laura laughed. ‘I’ll marry you, Jase. But I still need more proof.’
‘How long will that take?’
Laura’s laughter faded until she was simply smiling. ‘About a lifetime, I reckon.’
‘You’re on.’ Jason grinned. ‘I can manage that, no problem.’ He took a confident step forward, tugging on Laura’s hand. ‘Shall we go and see our baby now?’
‘In a minute.’ Laura tugged back on Jason’s hand and then stood on tiptoe. ‘I’d just like a bit more of that proof, first, if you don’t mind.’
‘Oh, I don’t mind a bit,’ Jason murmured. His next words were muffled as his lips touched hers. ‘We’ll take just as long as you need.’