Infinite Faith Infinite Series, Book 4)

by L. E. Waters

  “That makes sense. I especially love watching tempests whip the waves.”

  My hair falls in front of my face again, but this time he reaches to tuck it behind my ear. “And have I always loved your hair?”

  I can barely find my voice. “You always cut a lock from me.”

  I want him to hold on to me, but he puts his hand back in his pocket. He stays close, though.

  “I do have a great urge to steal a tress.” He pretends to fumble in his pockets. “Lucky for you, I forgot my shears. Your hair is safe today.”

  I waggle a finger at him. “Oh no. I’ve learned that you take a lock and leave, so I’ll be staying a scissor’s length away.” I start stepping back, but he follows me with a mischievous grin.

  “There is something I don’t like about you.” He starts stepping after me. “You’re far too dry.” He picks up his pace and I shriek, trying to dart away. He grabs hold of me quickly and wraps me up in his soaking wet arms. He shakes the water out of his hair all over me and I squeal, swallowed in his strong embrace. The water penetrates and is shockingly cold even though it’s such a warm day. I spin in his arms to face him and he shakes his hair again. But this time I’m quiet, begging with my eyes for him to kiss me. He holds me tighter and looks directly at me. If he isn’t going to kiss me, I’m going to kiss him. I grab the back of his drenched head and pull him toward me. Once our lips touch, he takes over, thankfully. We don’t even notice the sun set.

  Frieda clears her throat quietly.

  We separate quickly.

  “Bathilda’s due back soon.”

  I straighten my sweater, though it’s a wet mess. “Thank you, Frieda.” I turn to Georg, who stands there with his chin extra high. “Goodbye.”

  He nods to me. “Goodbye.”

  When I walk back out of the garden, I glance up at the girls in the window, who are giggling. I smile back.

  ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

  Two days later, I’m harvesting the rest of the berries when I hear Kathrin’s light giggle as Carsten chases her into the garden. If she had been in petticoats and corsets, they would mirror Joshua and Peggy in her father’s garden. I stand up and lean back to set my spine right after bending over for so long.

  “Ann-e-lie!” she singsongs as she makes her way to me. “We have good news!” She pats Carsten’s hard chest with her delicate hand. “Carsten finally asked me to marry him.”

  When he laughs, his indigo eyes squint. “You say that like I waited years.”

  “Well, you knew you wanted to marry me the first night you met me, so waiting six months is far too long.”

  “Rightly so.”

  I search around for where to lay down my dirty gloves so I can give both of them a hug. “Do you think they’ll let me out of here so that I won’t miss your wedding?”

  Kathrin says, “They better, or I’m barging in here and helping you escape. I’m counting on you to make my nosegays.”

  “I’m sure I’ll be able to get away for a few days.” But I truly wonder if I will with all the changes coming.

  Gitta calls out, “There’s another visitor for you, Annelie.”

  “Great, Annelie gets three visitors in one day and I haven’t had one in a month,” Verena says in her half-joking, half-serious way. “I still can’t figure out why.”

  “Does anyone else see those gnomes popping up in the potato beds?” an amused Ursel calls out, but she stops watching them once she sees our blank stares.

  I turn to Kathrin. “Did you bring Mother with you?”

  She shakes her head, and we both smile when we see Georg fumble with the gate. “Oh, I get to finally meet him!” she squeals quietly.

  “Who?” Carsten asks.

  Kathrin nudges him. “Annelie’s beau.”

  “He’s not my beau,” I snap back before he’s within hearing distance. “You better not embarrass me.”

  Georg looks on at my unexpected crowd.

  “Georg, it’s so nice to see you again. This is my sister and her fiancé.”

  He extends an unsure hand with a gracious nod. “I didn’t realize Annelie already had visitors.”

  “Oh, they were just leaving.” I turn to open my eyes wide at Kathrin to get them to leave.

  She quickly follows along. “Right. We’ve been here for ages.” She gives me another hug. “We’ll be back again soon. You’ll have to help me plan what I should wear.”

  Carsten nods to Georg and they walk out of the garden, staring back at us every few steps. I know Kathrin is dying to get to know Georg more after all I’ve told her about our pasts.

  “Back so soon?” I say with a smirk.

  “Well, I did wait three days.”

  “Two, really.”

  “Yes, I guess it’s only been two.” He kicks a few rocks.

  A great commotion sounds outside of the garden that draws our attention. Large engines near the garden. Kathrin and Carsten come back flying through the gate. “The Nazis are here!” Kathrin cries out to me.

  Carsten says, as soon as they near, “At least thirty trucks of SS soldiers are on their way through.”

  Georg stiffens and takes off for the gate. Everyone drops their shovels and clippers to watch as the huge trucks speed by.

  “Where are they going?” Juliane asks Frieda.

  “Why would I know?” She shrugs. “No one said anything to us about this.”

  I immediately think of what Dr. Evert’s told me, and this must be what has come of the director meeting with Hitler in Berlin. I bite my lip.

  Georg says, “You must know where they’re headed, though. What’s down that road?”

  Frieda takes a moment and then answers. “House C 16.”

  “What’s in the building?” Carsten demands.

  “They’ve just cleared it out. It’s empty now.” She looks suspicious.

  Georg says to Carsten, “They’re probably using the hospital for sheltering soldiers.”

  “Why just one building and not the whole hospital?” Carsten replies.

  The question weighs on all of our shoulders.

  Verena answers, “Maybe that’s their plan, but they have to get rid of us first.”

  We watch in silence as the convoy keeps streaming by.

  Kathrin says, “I’ve counted forty trucks and eight cars.”

  The last car comes to a screeching halt. Some level of commander steps out and a few soldiers follow behind him as he approaches the gate.

  “What is this?” He swats a crop at the garden wall.

  Frieda answers, “A garden the patients have cared for. It helps supply food to the hospital.”

  “Who’s in charge of this project?”

  “Dr. Evert,” Frieda answers.

  He steps back to examine the grounds. Kathrin and I both notice the scar above his eye. Carsten steps out of the gate.

  Kathrin turns wide-eyed to me and mouths the words, It’s him.

  The commander barks, “Why are patients free to walk the hospital unattended?”

  Carsten replies, “I’m not a patient here, only a visitor. But these patients are being attended to by that nurse over there.”

  “Just one nurse for all these patients?”

  Kathrin steps out behind the gate as well to join Carsten. “I’m a visitor as well, and so is he.” She points to Georg.

  His eyes fall on her pretty form and he takes his time looking at her under Carsten’s watchful gaze. “And who are you?”

  “Kathrin. I’m visiting my sister.”

  “What is your sister’s name?”

  Why would he need to know that?

  Georg chimes in. “Why are the soldiers here, at a psychiatric hospital?”

  He sneers. “You think I would tell you what my orders are?” He chuckles, then turns to Kathrin with a snarl in his voice. “Her name.”

  “Annelie.”

  “Full name.”

 
She looks back to me like she’s forced to do something terrible. “Annelie Herrick.”

  “Herrick, Herrick,” he says it over to remember it. “Very well. I’m going to look further into this…garden. It might be of use to our soldiers while we’re here.” He turns to head back to the car, but then spins around. “Nurse?”

  Frieda is caught off guard. “Yes?”

  “I demand you to notify me, Police Leader Luther, the next time Kathrin Herrick is visiting.”

  Carsten starts to walk toward him, but Kathrin holds him back.

  Luther smiles at this and adds, “Please send Annelie Herrick’s file down to me in Block C 16.”

  “Yes,” is all that Frieda can muster, and we hold our breath until he shuts his door and speeds off again.

  We’re quiet for a moment until Georg says, “This is not good.”

  Carsten grabs Kathrin’s hand. “We need to go. I have to find out about this, why they’re here.”

  Kathrin grabs for me one last time and whispers in my ear, “You must get out of here now.”

  I hug her back and feel guilty that I can and won’t.

  Georg also steps out behind them. “Georg, you have to leave so soon?” I ask him.

  He looks much older suddenly. “I want to find out about this as well.” The three of them walk off toward the entrance.

  Elfi cries out, “See? I told you all. The devil’s army was going to live among us, poison us gradually, and turn us all to ashes!”

  Gitta begins to shake with her eyes rolled back, and Frieda rushes to lay her down on the gravel. She hasn’t had an episode in months. As soon as she stops shaking, we walk her back up to our floor. Odelia goes with her to lie down while the rest of us watch out the window as the Nazis swarm like ants outside House C 16.

  Frieda pulls me aside. “Dr. Evert has sent for you.”

  “We don’t have a session today…”

  “No, he wants to speak to you.”

  On the way to his office, I think about Luther and why he’s here. If I had just gone home, like Dr. Evert wanted, Kathrin would have avoided meeting him, at least at this point. I’m now putting Kathrin in great danger.

  Dr. Evert looks like he’s been up all night. Papers and files cover his usually clear desk, and I can see an “I told you so” look when he glances up to me.

  I wait for Frieda to leave before asking, “Have you stayed here overnight?” His hair was never this unkempt before.

  “The director returned yesterday with news that a large number of SS were to come and set up base at our hospital. They’ve started a new program, called Action T4, to eliminate ‘dead weight existences’, and we, as doctors”—his voice breaks, but he regains control—”have to decide who is unworthy of life.”

  “How are you going to do that?”

  He slams a hand to close the file he’s working on. “I’m not God! I can’t be responsible for this!”

  “You must leave. You can’t do such a thing.”

  “So then some other doctor who is unfamiliar with my patients, who doesn’t understand a single one, will decide who lives and who dies?”

  “This is worse than I ever imagined.”

  He gives me an almost blank stare. “I wish you were away from all this. What we are about to be witness to, be a part of, is nothing less than evil.” Tears roll down from already swollen eyes. “They are converting House C 16 into a slaughterhouse as we speak.”

  The sound of hammers and saws outside turns my stomach.

  “What can you do?”

  “The only thing I can do.” He opens up the file again to point to the blue check in the upper right corner. “I am trying to pass as many patients as I can, changing diagnoses from schizophrenic, epileptic, crippled, mongoloid, et cetera to more ‘curable’ forms. But the most severe cases I won’t be able to help.”

  The weight of so many lives hangs in his hands. Worse, other less caring doctors are also sitting in their offices making their callous decisions.

  “Do you think they will find out about you falsifying these reports? Will they double-check your files?”

  “What choice do I have? Walk out this door and not think about my patients? Know they will all disappear in a few weeks? I can’t live with that. Could you?”

  “No.” I can’t believe he has to struggle with such a task now.

  “And you.” His eyes now burn into mine. “How could I leave you to the fate of someone else? I must stay to protect you. I left you before and I won’t this time. Not when you need me.”

  Tears start burning and make their way down the slope of my face. “Can you help my friends, too?”

  He points to a stack of files to his left. “Already have. Not a schizoid among them now. All curable and mild cases of paranoia, depression, and grief.”

  “Thank you so much, Fridric.” I hope he can feel the depth of gratitude in my eyes. “You are doing the right thing. A horribly courageous and dangerous thing, but it’s the right thing.”

  “It might not be enough, though. It’s too late to even force you to leave at this point. They’ve forbidden any future releases. I should have sent you away when I could.”

  “It’s my fault.” I take a deep breath. “Maybe they don’t expect many patients to qualify. Maybe they will leave as soon as they’re done.”

  His eyebrows rise in surprise at my naivety. “They’re not just seeking out the most severe and tragic cases. Hitler does not want one infirm, imperfect, dependent citizen. If a person can’t take care of themselves and procreate beautiful, strong German children, he wants to be rid of them. The old, the young, the feeble-minded, the crippled, the unhealthy, the Jew, the homosexual, the Catholic, the gypsy…all gone. They’re not setting up the killing camp here just for our patients. I assure you, this is the beginning of something terrible.”

  I wonder if he’s starting to lose his mind. “Hitler would never be able to do such a thing.”

  “Who will stop him?” His eyes flare with the gravity of a future that only he sees.

  “The doctors won’t allow it. They won’t send all these people to their deaths.”

  He shakes his head grimly. “There have been many doctors here that have been advocating euthanasia for the insane for years. This is just what they’ve asked for.”

  “Won’t families demand to know where they have gone to? Won’t they notice these people disappearing? People will fight against it.”

  “Only a small fraction of the families even visit here annually.”

  “Some do, and they will notice.”

  “Let’s hope they do.”

  “What can I do?” I worry that he’ll just laugh at my offer.

  “Tell your friends to be on their best behavior. I’ll be sure to change their ID tags. Tell them not to say anything about their diagnosis, and to act as normal as possible if any doctor should interview them, keeping their answers as brief and uninteresting as they can. They have to try to save themselves.”

  I nod. “Anything else?”

  “It will look good that you all are working in the garden. They’ll most likely claim the produce soon for themselves, but you will all appear functional and beneficial.”

  I get up to leave. “I know you’re very busy.” The unopened files on his right are stacked three times as high as the one on his left. “I’ll leave you alone.”

  “Annelie?” he asks as I’m at the door.

  “Yes?”

  “Please promise me that you won’t do anything to draw attention to yourself.”

  Should I tell him that Luther has already demanded my name? “I promise.”

  “I mean it. You don’t protest a thing. Even if someone comes and takes someone away from your floor. You must not give them a reason to add you to the list.”

  “I’m not sure that I can promise that.”

  “That is just what I fear.”

  I close the door quietly behind me.
/>
  ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

  It’s just like Dr. Evert said. After a few weeks, the hammering and the construction noises that we heard day and night suddenly cease. We can see House C 16 from one of the tall windows in the great room. Nothing seems to change on the outside of the building. It still remains pleasing to the eye, but we wonder why two thick chimneystacks and two high billboards are added to the brick walls to shield it from every side. What could they be changing inside the building? Were they filling it with bunks and mess halls to house more soldiers?

  The books and games are left unopened since we gather at the window to watch the curious anthill expectantly whenever we have a free moment.

  It’s when we’re in the garden working that Gitta cries out, “Come here, everyone! Hurry!”

  Trucks are parked in front of our building. Elderly patients are being pulled out, some complaining, some screaming. Nurses are directed by stern, armed soldiers as doctors watch by the doors. The obedient, vacant-looking patients are led into trucks, while nurses are commanded to stick needles into the arms of those who fight back in any way. Once they fall under the tranquilizers, the orderlies are called to lift them up into the trucks.

  Elfi says, “I told you they’d come. They’re going to cook them all.”

  Minna looks to Frieda. “Should we go back inside?”

  Frieda reaches her arms around some of us. “No. I think you’re safer out here. Let’s all get back to work so we look busy.”

  Even though I want to watch what’s happening outside the safety of those garden walls, I realize that it’s best that we look as important as possible.

  It’s hard to keep deadheading and pulling weeds as cries and shouts carry over to us. Then we hear the metal truck doors slam shut and my heart drops into my boots as the trucks rev up and take off toward House C 16.

  Odelia whispers to me, “Do you think they’re only moving them to a new building?”

  I shrug for her benefit, but know that there’s no good reason why they’re taking them in such a way.

  When we finish our work for the day and darkness starts to creep in, we walk back to our buildings slower than we ever have before. We’re quiet when we open up the doors and find an unusual silence inside the building. Gazing down through each floor’s gates, few patients remain, wandering around their halls. The floor below ours is completely dark, having emptied out all its patients into those trucks. We reach our floors to find Bathilda picking her teeth.