Blue Bonnets

by Marie Laval

  His arms, his whole body tensed. He moved back, and with a shaky hand rolled her nightdress back up to cover her up.

  ‘It’s late.’ His voice was gruff. Under the palm of her hand, his heart beat fast, too fast.

  Hers felt like it was shattering into a thousand pieces.

  ‘I must leave you to get some rest.’

  Gently he pulled her hand away from his chest, lifted her off his lap and rose to his feet. A fierce, merciless pain clawed at her heart. He didn’t want her. She all but gave herself to him and he couldn’t wait to get away.

  Pressing a hand against her mouth, she turned towards the fireplace. Suddenly he was there, right behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders and spun her around.

  ‘Rose, graidheag…’

  Unable to meet his gaze, she stared down at her bare feet but he slid his thumb under her chin. His grey eyes bore deep into hers. There was heat, and kindness, and something else – something that looked like pain.

  ‘I’m sorry. I took advantage. It was unforgivable.’

  His voice was low, so low she could hardly hear.

  ‘For a moment, I forgot everything. I forgot who I was, and I forgot the whole damned world around us. It was wrong. It shouldn’t have happened.’

  She didn’t answer. She couldn’t speak even if she tried. Her lips were still swollen from his kisses, her body tingled from his caresses, her heart filled with love and longing for him, and he said it had all been a terrible mistake.

  He let go of her and stepped back.

  ‘You should get some sleep. I’ve arranged for Wallace to come over early in the morning and take you to his farm.’

  She flinched. Her breath caught in her throat.

  ‘His farm? I don’t understand. You said I would go to Westmore with you.’

  He shook his head. ‘It was before I knew Morven and his thugs were after you. You’ll be safer with Wallace.’

  So he wanted her as far away from him as possible.

  ‘I told you I wanted to see Cameron, and speak to him.’

  He narrowed his eyes. ‘Do you still harbour any illusions that you are married to him and that he’s going to announce your wedding at the ball?’ There wasn’t a trace of kindness now on his face, in his voice. ‘Believe me sweetheart, you aren’t. He may have bedded you but it’s Lady Sophia and her money he’s marrying, and begging him won’t make a blind bit of difference.’

  She shook her head. ‘No, you don’t understand. I want to…’

  ‘The sooner you accept McRae deceived you, the better,’ he cut in.

  She stomped her bare foot on the floor. ‘Bedbugs and stinky camels! Will you let me explain?’

  His face stony, he opened the door. ‘There’s no need for you to explain anything. You’ve said enough. Now make sure you lock up after me and keep these curtains closed.’

  And after a last, scorching look, he walked out and shut the door behind him.

  The sound echoed into the room, and into Rose’s heart, hard and final.

  ‘I don’t want Cameron, I don’t love him,’ she whispered in the empty room. ‘I love you.’

  The sound of his footsteps decreased in the corridor. There were a couple of odd thudding noises and a door slammed shut. Perhaps she should go after him, try to explain once again why she had to go to Westmore.

  She didn’t move. There was no point. He made it clear he didn’t want her. Now that he could no longer use her in his bitter war against the McRaes, she was just a nuisance, an embarrassment. She was the woman who knew about his illness and his guilt-ridden nightmares… and about his real father.

  She fell to her knees, curled into a ball and squeezed her eyes shut. Tears rolled onto her cheeks, her body shook with deep, wracking sobs. Never since her father died had she felt such intense, overwhelming pain. It squeezed her heart in a tight fist until she gasped for air. It churned and clawed at her insides, relentless, ripping her apart.

  She had no idea how long she stayed there, prostrate on the floor and lost in darkness and grief.

  The sudden hiss and crackle of logs collapsing on the fire grate forced her eyes open, and she remembered.

  The medallion!

  Pushed by an urge she didn’t understand, she jumped to her feet, rushed to the fireplace and leant into the fire. Lodged between two logs, the medallion glowed as red as the flames, its leather tie already blackened and charred. It was far too hot for her to touch with her bare hands. Using the wrought-iron fire tongs, she lifted it off carefully, carried it across the room and dropped it into the washstand bowl. The water hissed, bubbled and a plume of steam rose in the air.

  It would take a while to cool down. Lord McGunn didn’t want it right now, but he might regret throwing it away one day and she would keep it safe for him. She looked around, her eyes widening when she spotted the jewellery pouch peeping through the opening of her tapestry bag. Of course. That could work.

  An hour later, she sat on the bed in front of a glittering pile of necklaces and bangles. She selected a necklace, untied Bruce’s medallion from its burnt leather tie and secured it to the chain amongst other baubles and charms. Holding the necklace out in front of her, she nodded with satisfaction. The medal was undetectable.

  She slipped the necklace on but tidied the rest of the jewellery into the pouch. When she saw the wedding ring Cameron had given her and ordered not to wear before the ball, a fresh wave of anger and self-loathing washed over her and she tossed the ring across the room.

  It bounced on the floor and rolled into a corner.

  She had been fooled by Cameron. He was a liar and a cheat: she knew that now.

  Her breath caught in her throat. What if he was more than that? The day before the so-called wedding, Malika claimed that he visited bordellos every night in Algiers, and that girls were afraid of him and his unpredictable, drunken moods. Rose had shouted that she was mean, petty and jealous and pushed her out of her room. But what if Malika had been right all along, and his behaviour during their wedding night hadn’t been an aberration caused by too much champagne and her frigid response?

  Her throat tightened as she recalled that night again. Cameron had rolled off the bed. Dishevelled, red and panting, and a snarl at the corner of his mouth, he had readjusted his breeches and yanked his shirt back on. ‘What a silly girl you are to make so much fuss. You’ll see, next time will be better, much better. I’ll teach you to enjoy me, and to make me enjoy yourself more. I’ll teach you all the things a good wife should know… For now, I’ll leave you alone if you give me your father’s diary. I want to read it again.’

  When she had told him that the diary was in her mother’s safe at the bank, he had become very pale, cursed loudly and stormed out of his suite. He had only returned at dawn to announce he was sailing back to Scotland on the Sea Lady right away. She was to keep her suite at the Excelsior, retrieve the diary and wait for his other clipper, the Sea Eagle, to arrive in Algiers and take her to Scotland. In the meantime she shouldn’t wear her ring or tell anyone about the wedding, not even her mother, since he wanted to keep it a surprise until his birthday ball.

  And she had been foolish enough to obey. She was indeed a stupid, stupid girl, and it was no wonder Bruce McGunn didn’t want her.

  Never had a night passed so slowly.

  Rose lay in bed, exhausted but unable to sleep, desolate but unable to shed another tear. She watched shadows move on the walls, cast anxious glances towards the curtained window that made the room feel stifling like a tomb, and tried to block the burning memories of Bruce’s kisses and caresses, and the agony caused by his rejection.

  His teeth clenched so hard his jaw hurt, he curled his hand into a tight fist and punched the wall, once, then once again as he walked down the corridor. He punched so hard his knuckles bled, yet he felt nothing.

  No, that wasn’t true. He felt plenty. Self-loathing, despair, pain. And burning desire.

  He yanked his boots off and threw them across the r
oom. They fell on the wooden floorboards with a loud thud. Next he tugged his shirt out of his trousers, unfastened a couple of buttons and yanked it over his head before throwing it in a heap at the foot of the bed.

  Hell. He could still taste her, smell her. He would never be able to get her scent out of his head ever again – that sweet, floral, woman scent that was uniquely hers, and that he was sure he’d crave for the rest of his days.

  He had been so close to take her tonight. The moment he’d looked into her deep blue eyes, kissed her and felt her bare skin heat and shiver under his touch, his body had taken over.

  Thankfully reality had jerked him back from the edge of the dark, hot precipice he was sliding into before it was too late. He had no right to her. No right at all. She was radiant, bursting with life and light whereas he was haunted by demons and the spectre of madness – and he’d just found out, the son of a murderer. Despite everything, he still had some remnants of a conscience.

  She didn’t want him anyway. She still hoped McRae would take her back. Well, that wasn’t going to happen. Wallace would take her to his farm where she would stay, safe out of McRae’s and Morven’s reach.

  He sat up on the bed, shoved a pillow behind his back and winced as his sore muscles and bruised ribs protested. Staring at the fire dancing in the hearth, he started replaying in his mind the events of the day.

  What did Morven want with Rose? Was it really McNeil in the Nag’s Head before or had he mistaken him for somebody else? Why did he think the same men who had ambushed him in Inverness were there tonight?

  And the last, and most puzzling question. Was Donald Robertson his father?

  As a matter of habit, he lifted his hand to his throat to toy with his medallion, before curling his fist and slamming it against the mattress. He had worn his mother’s medallion since he was a baby. He had treasured it, felt for it at night when as a child he cried for the mother he would never know, and later as a good-luck charm before a dangerous mission.

  He felt almost bereft now without it around his neck. However there was no way he’d ever wear something that had been obtained by murder and felony – and something that had once belonged to a McRae.

  Chapter Eleven

  ‘I’m glad to see you’re up and ready, Miss Rose. I was just about to send for you.’

  Wallace’s voice behind her stopped her in her tracks. Bedbugs! Why was he here already, just as she was just about to try and talk the landlord into trading one of her silver necklaces for the loan of a horse and set off for Westmore.

  She took a deep breath, forced a smile and turned to face him.

  ‘Good morning, Mr Wallace.’

  He didn’t smile back. He looked serious, worried even.

  ‘I’m afraid we must leave town as soon as possible. There’s trouble at the harbour.’

  ‘What kind of trouble?’

  ‘A steamer has just docked to be loaded up with grain, the army cordoned off the area but I doubt they’ll be able to hold people back very long.’

  ‘Why would the army want to hold people back?’

  Wallace’s face hardened. ‘Because the people mean to prevent the steamer from being loaded up with grain.’

  ‘I don’t understand…’

  ‘McRae keeps shipping tons of oats and barley to Newcastle, Liverpool or London when there’s not enough to be sold to families here. People are fed up, Miss Rose. Fed up with starving or eating boiled grass and nettle soup. With the potato crop failing last year, things have gone from bad to worse – except for McRae, of course, who is lining his pockets when his people are suffering.’

  Her chest tightened. How could she ever have believed Cameron innocent of all the wrong-doings and the suffering on his estate, and believe it was Morven, and Morven alone, who was responsible?

  Shivering despite her thick cloak, she followed Wallace into the courtyard where a brown mare and a grey horse were being saddled, their breath steaming in the cold, grey foggy morning.

  Wallace pointed out to the mare.

  ‘This one’s yours. Lieutenant McGunn bought it for you before he left. He was in a great hurry to be on his way.’ He cast her a quizzical glance. ‘So much in a hurry I’m afraid he didn’t have time to bid you goodbye.’

  ‘That’s all right,’ she retorted with as much indifference as she could muster, ‘I know the man to be totally devoid of social graces and wasn’t expecting him to.’

  That was a lie. It had stung to stand at her window to watch his tall, black-clad figure ride to the end the street then disappear, swallowed up by the freezing fog, and to realise he cared so little about her he hadn’t even bothered to bid her goodbye.

  Wallace smiled. ‘Aye, Miss Rose. It’s true he was never one to mince his words or waste time with niceties, but you couldn’t find a more true and loyal friend, and that’s what counts in the end, isn’t it?’

  Feeling chastised she bent her head and sighed. ‘I suppose so.’

  He held out his hand. ‘Here, let me take your bag and strap it to the saddle.’

  He helped her climb up and they rode out of the courtyard and into a dense crowd. The silence was intense, almost deafening and anything but peaceful, she thought as she urged her horse into a walking pace and followed Wallace.

  They were about half way up the main street when a series of gunshots ripped through the morning like thunder, startling Rose’s horse. Screaming erupted around her. The crowd moved back and forth like a giant wave, making it hard for her to rein the horse in and stop it from trampling over the people around her.

  Emerging from the fog like a ghostly army, soldiers marched towards the square, their bayonets pointing forward, whereas at the other end of the square at least two dozen special constables ran up the street, waving their truncheons and hitting anybody standing in their path.

  Fear made Rose’s heart pound. Bile rose in her throat. It was hopeless! Why didn’t these people run away? Couldn’t they see they were trapped and risked getting shot, stabbed or crushed to death?

  Her horse snorted and started to rear. She gripped the reins so tightly her knuckles went white. Looking around in a panic, she saw that the crowd’s movements were pushing Wallace towards the soldiers, further away from her.

  ‘Get away, Miss Rose,’ he shouted. ‘Head towards the church. At the crossroads take the coast road towards Melvich. There’s an inn, The Valiant Stag at the edge of town. I’ll meet you there.’

  He said something else but his words were drowned in the clamour of the crowd.

  She urged her horse forward and manoeuvred through the crowd inch by inch. Next to her a constable, his face contorted in anger, brought down his club onto a woman’s back, deaf to her pleas for mercy and the shrieks of the little girl who clung to her blood-splattered skirt. When the woman collapsed to the ground, he started kicking her with his black hob-nailed boots.

  ‘Stop! Are you mad? You’re going to kill her,’ Rose shouted, but he ignored her and gave the woman one last ferocious kick before aiming his club at the little girl.

  With a howl of rage, Rose pushed her horse straight into him. He lost his balance and fell on the cobbles. Then everything then went too fast. She tried to haul back on the reins but her horse was out of control. As she struggled to stay on the saddle she heard the constable scream as he was crushed under her horse’s hooves.

  After felt like hours she managed to push her way out of the square and into a quieter back street. Breathless, her hands shaking so badly she could hardly hold on to the reins, she leant to one side. Tears streamed down her face as she heaved, gagged and coughed until her stomach was empty.

  Wiping her mouth with a corner of her cloak, she sat up and looked around. A church steeple rose above the slate rooftops. If she rode that way, she would end up on the road to Melvich. She started the mare in the opposite direction. She wasn’t going to Melvich. She was going to Westmore.

  The morning fog had cleared by the time Bruce rode past Westmore’s imposi
ng gates. He took note of the two pretentious stone griffins, heraldic symbols of the McRaes’, which now towered from the gateposts. They hadn’t been there when he came to Westmore with his grandfather – his only ever visit. He was ten.

  He’d often wondered what had prompted Doughall McGunn to visit Westmore that time. He had no idea what had taken place between him and Lady Patricia, but his grandfather hadn’t sobered up for a whole week on his return to Wrath and had embarked on a series of costly improvements to the fisheries shortly after.

  He remembered every detail of that short visit – being fed soup and buttered scones in the kitchen while his grandfather had his interview with Lady Patricia, being shooed outside by an impatient butler dressed in parrot green, red and gold. He had time to explore the fancy grounds, find a pond to throw stones into and a couple of trees to climb before his grandfather had shouted that it was time to leave. He hadn’t set foot in the castle, or met with young McRae or his mother then.

  He hadn’t thought about it for years. Funny how it was all coming back now.

  He took a deep breath. Never mind childhood memories. He needed to focus on what he would tell McRae if he was to save Wrath from his and his unscrupulous bankers’ greed.

  He rode up the two-mile lane leading to the manor house. Perched on top of a small hill, it favoured a French chateau with its turrets, spires and chimneys, and the white walls that glowed in the dull winter light. Elaborate topiaries and statues of Greek and Roman gods scattered manicured parterres. Fountains spurted water towards the grey skies. Lady Patricia and her son had spared no expense to make Westmore one of the grandest manor houses in the whole of Scotland.

  Once inside the courtyard he signalled to a stable boy and ordered him to watch his horse.

  ‘Give him some oats and water,’ he instructed before jumping down and slipping the lad a coin. He didn’t plan to stay long, so it wasn’t necessary to take his saddle bags with him.

  Around him an army of servants dressed in the same garish livery he remembered unloaded carts and carriages and rushed through service doors, their arms filled with extravagant bouquets, bottles of wine and spirits, and crates filled with fresh produce and exotic fruit, among which he recognised mangoes, pineapples, oranges and pomelos.