‘I’m just going to get this little man all cleaned up and then we will drive you to school,’ she confirmed, having already got her licence, I could not wait to take my test next week. Mom had let us use her car when she did not need it and as she was visiting grandma with Seth for the week; it was all ours.
‘Great, I’m just going to grab my book bag and them I will meet you in the car,’ kissing JC on the head and ruffling his hair.
Lexi chatted animatedly all the way to the school about the interview she had this afternoon for a possible grant to assist with tuition fees. I would take JC for her and she would collect him before my shift started.
We had this system down, and I adored looking after him. To the point that I was considering switching my major to child development and psychology, so interested to learn how their little brains ticked.
‘I’m thinking of going for architecture as my major,’ Lexi replied, as though she was thinking aloud.
‘Really, that is great,’ she was so talented and creative; I could definitely see her excelling in that area. Everything was on track for us both and I could not stop beaming as we pulled up at the school gates, for the last time.
I strolled in, resentfully as always, but I could see light now, it was not an endless nightmare any longer. Pretending to be Lexi had been extremely challenging at school so the prospect that would be ending thrilled me.
Lexi already had enough credits to leave early, as did I, so I did not feel too bad lying to the principal in my early leaver interview, claiming to be her. I had explained about my new ambitions for dance school and though he was a little surprised, as Caitlan was the one who had lofty ballet dreams, he did not push further and signed off the papers without issue.
Leaving my last class for the day and forever at high school, I grinned, running down the corridor after clearing out my locker. This was it, the real world awaited, where what shoes you wore did not matter, well not in the same life and death way it often did in high school.
‘How was the last day?’ Lexi questioned, handing JC his pacifier as I sat and fixed my seat belt.
‘It is over, that is all. Such a relief,’ I exhaled as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
‘You got a package today,’ Lexi explained, winking and handing me the brown parcel.
‘Oh, wow,’ I eyed it excitedly and tore open the paper. Inside were tickets to the New York Ballet performance of Swan Lake, a packet of popcorn and a disposable camera. Smiling I opened the card eager to know more.
Hey, baby, to congratulate you on your last day of high school and to let you know I have big plans for six months’ time. Love always L.
‘I have to say, he is the sweetest guy,’ Lexi gushed, and I could not have agreed more. Clutching the tickets in my hands, we drove back to the house.
As soon as we arrived I shot upstairs to write to Lucas while Lexi brought JC back in from the car.
You are the best boyfriend ever and I am going to annoy the crap out of you capturing every second of our date with pictures. I don’t want to forget a single second of our time together. Love you!
Things had been difficult for Lucas these past few months, his mother cutting him off financially and relying on his brother for help. He had chosen to stay with me, despite his mother’s threats and I only hoped that after we met, he could resolve things with her. It felt really uncomfortable that she had such negative feelings towards me, particularly as we had never met. I deemed it must be because she was afraid of losing him and after having JC in our lives, I could understand the strong maternal bond.
The audible bleep of a message brought me back from my musings.
I will not let you forget a single minute, making date night a regular event when you move to New York. The thought that it is only six months away and I can hold you for real is the biggest dream. Have to get to class, but remember how much I love you and have a great first night at work. L.
I smiled and flopped back onto the bed, pulling the cover over my face. There were many things I was excited for meeting Lucas, our first kiss amongst them. Sending my toes tingling. Only Lexi calling my name awoke me from my daydreams.
‘Okay, JC, is all settled for his nap, I should be around an hour, but if he wakes up there is some breast milk in the fridge for him. Wish me luck,’ she requested, hugging me and surveying herself in the mirror.
I took a step back and despite the fact that she had recently had a baby, we were still as identical as ever, though could not have been more different. I was ready to go to college full time and dance school. She was a new mom with a baby to raise along with going to school. But we were closer than ever and that was largely to do with JC. I watched her tuck him in for his nap and waved her off at the door.
Grabbing my uniform out of the dryer, I ironed it ready for tonight and decided to call my mom.
‘Hey, Mom, how is everything there?’ I questioned, she sounded so much more jubilant than she had in ages.
The last six months had been hard on her particularly. My dad had been back twice from deployment, and that had been tense for us all. But he would not be back now until after my audition and I could not have been happier about that.
‘We are having a great time, sweetie, how is everything there?’ she replied, and passed the phone to Seth shortly after to explain about the new horse grandpa had just got.
The rest of the afternoon flew by. Lexi had returned from the appointment which she thought went better than expected and I made us some dinner, my stomach churning with nerves about work.
‘You have got this, I promise,’ Lexi assured as we parked outside the restaurant.
‘Yes, it will be fine, deep breaths,’ I uttered, my mantra for everything at the moment. Kissing JC and my sister, I headed inside and placed my bag in my locker. I would be on tables one to four tonight, the board confirmed and waited eagerly for my parties to arrive.
The first one arrived promptly, a businessman and his girlfriend. Showing them to their table, I resisted the urge to run and vomit the meagre amount of dinner I had eaten.
‘Today’s special is coq o vin served with tender heads of broccoli and potato dauphinoise,’ I explained, taking their drinks order and heading to the bar. I was not allowed to serve the wine, so an older staff member would complete that for me. This was such a relief as the thought of spilling red wine over her silk dress had me feeling desperate to bite the nails I was not allowed to do.
After bringing them their first course, my three further parties arrived at the same time. To my surprise, I did not panic as I thought I would, having that as my daily nightmare. I managed to get everyone seated and with their drinks before the main course was ready for table one.
By the end of the night, my feet were killing, having run around more than I had done in a dance class for a while. Madam calling me often about my missed practice sessions.
With helping Lexi, this training and finishing school, time had not been readily available for dance class, though I was still practising at home.
I had just taken the cheque for my last table of the night, having served three further parties in my shift time when the manager called me into his office. My heart was in my mouth as I knocked on the door, terrified of what mistake I had made.
‘Lexi, come in,’ my boss gestured, pointing to the chair in front of his desk. I sat down, ready to face whatever complaints he had, when to my surprise he came and sat on the desk right in front of me.
‘You are such a pretty one, aren’t you,’ he said, his voice suddenly dropping an octave lower and making me feel like squirming in my seat to get away.
‘Was everything okay with my tables tonight?’ I asked politely, but resisting the urge to run as fast as I could away from here.
‘Everything was just perfect. You certainly impressed Mr Goh and his fellow business associates,’ he advised, sucking his teeth and licking his lips slowly, making the nausea attack again.
‘Okay
, well my sister is waiting for me,’ I advised, standing up to leave and hoping that was the end of his conversation.
‘Of course, dear. I will see you tomorrow,’ he replied, looking me up and down and making me want to hide in a space suit to get away from his probing eyes. I nodded, keeping my eyes down and virtually ran out of his office, grabbing my stuff and running to meet Lexi.
‘How did it go?’ she asked, confused by my expression no doubt. The nausea still proving tenacious.
‘It actually went great, but my boss is such a perv,’ I complained, shuddering at the thought of him.
‘If he tries anything on, I will finish him,’ she smiled though her eyes showed just how much she would protect me, no matter what and I hugged her close.
‘I think Lucas would not be too happy either,’ she continued and had I have told him about the way my boss made me feel, I’m sure she would be right. But I had decided against it. We needed the money and I could protect myself if anything weird happened. My father having taught me self-defence from a young age, though I doubted it would come to that. Assuring myself that he was gross, but harmless I mentally danced my audition piece in my head while Lexi chatted about her evening.
After practising and showering, I was completely exhausted, ready for bed when Lexi called me.
‘I just wanted to say how proud I am of you. You have been so much help to me and JC, I hope you know how much we appreciate it,’ she whispered, on the verge of crying.
‘We made you a leaving school, new job card,’ handing me a folded piece of construction paper that her and JC had put their hand prints on in the shape of a heart.
‘Ah, Lex, it is beautiful,’ I proclaimed, the tears welling in my eyes, my voice cracking as we hugged each other on the stairs.
Placing the card on my nightstand, I felt completely fulfilled. Everything I had wanted to accomplish was about to come true. My sister had her mother role down to perfection; JC was thriving. We were going to be leaving dad at the end of the year and my mom would finally have the opportunity to have a new life. Everything was blissfully perfect and I could not wait to be in Lucas’s arms.
Falling asleep to the thought of him, I was completely oblivious to anything other than our future plans.
lexi – moving forward
I heard JC shuffling around in his crib on the monitor and stretched out on the bed. After working last night and taking Caitlan to school this morning, I had barely had any chance to sleep. The appointment with the financial grant prospect went well, and that was my main focus as I changed and fed JC.
Looking to the future and how I could improve our lives was what was keeping me going cleaning toilets and changing bedding for business travellers and vacation visitors. It was certainly not how I thought I would be spending my seventeenth year of life. Preparing for prom or enjoying my first semester at college would have been the plan, had my father not interfered with it.
In addition, of course getting pregnant was not at all on the list, but looking at JC any feelings of disappointment dwindled away. He was doing so well and I was proud of myself for breastfeeding him for six months. I was pumping at work and my supply was managing to cope with the hours away from him well.
Putting JC in his jumperoo, I went to grab the phone and held my breath; it was the grants office.
‘I am pleased to confirm you have been accepted for financial assistance under our scheme and a cheque will be sent to your school of choice for your first years tuition,’ the voice boomed back and I resisted the urge to jump on the spot, matching JC.
‘Thanks so much,’ I exuded happiness and hugging JC; we were set for college for the next year. Spinning him around in my arms, a weight had been lifted, but another soon took its place, with more financial responsibility being put on me than ever. Being a single young mom was the toughest thing I had ever done, and this was only the beginning.
‘Hi, sweetie,’ my mother called from the entrance hall as I rushed to help her with the groceries. She had been providing so much for JC so I could cover the tuition for school and I was thrilled to be able to contribute now that I had the guarantee of the grant.
My mom unpacked the groceries, looking like she was on the verge of breaking down, but stoically carrying on. I knew she was keeping everything bottled up so as not to worry us, but she needed someone and I wanted to help in any way I could.
‘Mom, I want you to know that I got the grant for the first year of college tuition. I can help out more with JC’s expenses and I am so grateful for everything you are doing for us,’ I explained, hoping somehow this would ease her burden a little.
‘That is wonderful news, darling. I am so proud of you,’ she began, hugging me close as JC cooed in the Tula. ‘Sweetheart, can you sit down for a minute. We need to talk,’ my mom continued, and I suddenly felt the happiness drain away.
‘What is it, Mom?’ I asked, resisting the urge to run as far away as possible. She needed me to be strong.
‘I feel like I am setting you and your sister such a bad example,’ she shook her head and placed her hands over her eyes momentarily. Just like we both did when we were upset.
‘Mom, you could not be more wrong. You are the best mother to us we could hope for and grandmother. JC adores you,’ I started, but she interrupted.
‘Sweetie, things between me and your father are getting worse and it has reached the point that I just want to leave this house. As soon as Seth finishes school, I want to move back to Colorado with your grandparents for a little while until things from a financial point of view are resolved. I wanted to tell you and your sister together, but I think it is most important that you now plan to move to an apartment with JC alone. I would love for you to come with me and your brother, but that is unrealistic with college.’ She looked so torn with the decision to leave me, but I knew she had to do what was right for us all and this was the situation.
‘Okay, Mom, I understand and I will start to look for places soon,’ I replied, the realisation that I would need to work more hours to make the deposit, let alone the rent, terrifying. It was already hard enough to leave JC, but I could work when he was asleep. That would not be possible now with more financial burdens piled on me.
‘I want to help you as much as I can and grandma has made an offer for you,’ she explained, the light percolating around her eyes a little more now and into mine. ‘Grandpa has been wanting to make a financial investment in terms of a city property. He is willing to purchase you and your sister an apartment in New York that you can share. You could attend college there and stay with your sister rent free for the time you are at college. Once you have graduated, grandpa will require rent payments. How does that sound?’ I sat, mouth gaped open, struggling to form a reply.
‘That would be so amazing, Mom. I can’t believe it.’ The thought of being able to live rent free and only needing to cover bills and groceries was more than I could ever have dreamt of.
‘I want to also help you out and provided the divorce settlement comes in our favour, I will cover both you and your sister’s groceries, books and JC’s day care. But that is only if everything pans out with the courts,’ my mom reiterated, sounding more resolute by the second.
‘Mom, I don’t know what to say,’ I replied, it was too much to process. Too generous. ‘Mom, I think it is such a wonderful offer and I could not be happier that you would want to help us this way, but it is too much,’ I explained, the tears falling at my mother’s generosity.
‘Nonsense, this is the least I can do. I am tearing our family apart, darling. If I could stay with your father, these things would be a given,’ she continued, and I pulled her into my arms.
‘Mom, you have to leave him. It is the least you deserve to be happy,’ I began, pausing as she hugged me, taking JC and kissing his face.
‘I am so sorry that this will happen. But I tried so hard to make it work, I hope Seth will understand one day,’ she paused, the emotion overtaking her. Out of all of us, h
e would be the one who would be upset the most. Both Caitlan and I had no love lost for dad anymore. But Seth was shielded from most of it, and he would be leaving his friends.
‘Mom, he is tough and such a kind boy. He will make new friends and will understand. I promise,’ trying to sound as positive as I could. It seemed to help a little and mom started making dinner as I prepared JC his, ready to leave for work once he had been bathed and put to bed.
Caitlan arrived home from work just as mom was setting the table. She had picked Seth up from school and was filling us in on the lunch rush when the phone rang. I knew it was dad immediately as mom shut herself in the office and I tried to distract Seth from the raised voices. Turning on the TV, I scooped us all some ice cream and left Caitlan with him while I bathed JC, putting him to bed after.
‘He is all snug. Call me if you need anything,’ I urged to my sister and reluctantly left my family to drive to the hotel.
Clocking in and obtaining my floor details, I began filling my cart with towels, sheets and toiletries that I would need to perform the turn down service.
‘Caitlan, room one wants more towels,’ my supervisor instructed as I passed her station.
‘Sure, will go right now,’ I assured, heading up to the penthouse and knocking quietly on the door. There was no answer, so knocking once more; I opened the door announcing myself.
‘This is the maid, with your towels,’ I stood in the doorway and after determining there was definitely no one in the room, proceeded to the bathroom replacing the towels and taking the dirty ones. I was just preforming the turn down service, placing the pillow mints I had in my bag onto the pillow when something caught my eye. Next to the dish of rose and vanilla scented pot pourri was a gold wedding band. It was not unusual for guests to leave personal belongings on the nightstand and I was just going to move it closer to the middle as it was teetering near the edge when I saw the inscription.
The Beginning (The Butterfly Series Book 2) Page 20