Dangerous Desires

by Tia Siren

  I bring my glass up to his and get a little thrill when they clink together. I would never say this to him or anyone, but I feel so fancy sitting here with him, having a drink before noon. I doubt that Evan would ever be this liberal with letting me have a drink. I'm sure he'd wait until the minute I turned twenty-one before he handed me a glass with alcohol in it.

  As I stare into Max's eyes, I can't stop thinking about him. About how much I wish it was Evan sitting in front of me. How much I wish it was Evan's eyes that I was staring into right now.

  "You look sad, Zoe. Is there anything you want to tell me?"

  I watch the green liquid slosh around and listen to the ice cubes that hit the sides of the glass as Max swirls his drink in his hand. Somehow the sounds around me seem to be getting further away. I feel a little sleepy, but I make an effort to focus. I remind myself that this is my chance. "I'm okay," I say, my eyes feeling heavy. "I just wish …"

  I pause for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. I want to be a sexy vixen for Max, but all I can think about is how much I miss Evan. And the longer I sit there, the foggier my head becomes.

  "What do you wish, Zoe?"

  "I wish that Evan wanted to be around me as much as I want to be around him." I'm surprised by the words that come out of my mouth, but I don't seem to be able to stop them. I keep reminding myself that I came here to seduce Max. So why am I talking about Evan? "I just feel like he hates me or something."

  "I doubt that very much. Maybe it's a lot for him to suddenly have someone to take care of."

  "But that's the thing," I say, taking another drink of the sweet liquid. "He doesn't have to take care of me. I never asked him to do that. I'm an adult now and I don't need him to …" Then right in the middle of my sentence I lose my train of thought. My entire body is starting to feel funny and my muscles have become weak. I can barely lift the glass to my mouth and I can't remember anything I wanted to say to Max.

  All I can think of is how much I want to be with Evan right now. That I wish I'd never left. I know I've been acting really childishly around him. I'm painfully aware of it. I've been throwing ridiculous tantrums and it seems like I'm constantly running away. And all just to get his attention.

  But I haven't been getting the kind of attention I want from him at all. I'm making him hate me and feel like he has to deal with me, when really what I want is to feel his arms around me. I want Evan to take care of me, but not the way you'd take care of a kid. The way a man takes care of a woman that he's in love with.

  I say all these things to Max, but only in my head. My lips feel numb and when I try to speak, nothing sounds right.

  In that moment, as I'm going on and on in my head about how amazing Evan is, as I'm explaining in detail all the ways I know he would be perfect for me, I realize what a total idiot I've been and how badly I've treated him.

  I want to get up and go back to him, but I'm having a really hard time keeping my eyes open.

  "You look tired, Zoe. Let me help you into bed," Max says with his hand stretched out to me.

  "Are you taking me to your bedroom?" I ask, my words sounding like they're coming from the other end of a tunnel. "I've been wanting to see it for a while now. But I don't know … I think maybe I just want to go back to Evan." The words sound right in my head, but when they come out of my mouth they just sound like a string of noises that all blend together. As Max helps me stand up I wonder if he can understand what I'm saying better than I can.

  "I'm not taking you to my bedroom, Zoe. I'm taking you to another room. I think you'll be very comfortable down there."

  I stumble down a short set of stairs and lean up against a wall while Max unlocks a door. The cool stone feels nice on my forehead and I don't want to move. I slide down the wall and laugh when I hit the ground. I can feel how strong Max is when he grabs me around the waist.

  "Come on, Zoe," Max says as he pulls me up and through a doorway. "Go ahead and lie down. I'll bring you some food a little later."

  "Okay," I say, then sink into a soft bed. The last thing I remember as I'm drifting off is the hollow, far-away sound of a lock clicking in the pitch-black darkness.

  5

  Evan

  "Does this look like the place?" I glance over at Kyle, who's crouched next to me in the bushes outside a huge, isolated house in the middle of nowhere. "This is the property that belongs to Maximilian Devereaux according to what came up in the search I did."

  "Yeah, this totally looks familiar," Kyle says, squinting at the enormous house that's about fifty yards away. "Jesus, what a name. Was this guy born on the Titanic or something?"

  "Yeah, I bet he has one of those old-fashioned accents that make him sound vaguely British, right?" As I talk, I realize how nice it is to go back and forth with Kyle like this again. I'd been preoccupied with Zoe for so long I hadn't hung out with him for months. I look back at Kyle when I notice he hasn't responded to me, and now he's the one staring. "What?" I ask.

  "I don't know. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't noticed that you've been different for a while now. Graham even mentioned it to me a while back. That you'd become more … I don't know … intense about things. And you never seemed to have time for either of us. I had no idea you were going through all this, man. It really sucks."

  Just hearing those words come out of Kyle's mouth brings my anxiety down a couple of notches. I hated the idea that I'd probably lost my two best friends over all this bullshit. I don't know why I felt like I had to choose between them and Zoe, though. I never should have tried to do all of this on my own.

  "So what did he do that freaked you out so bad?" I ask.

  "Who? The doctor in there? I don't even know where to start." Kyle's gaze drifts back to the house. "I met him through a group that I found online … a local BDSM organization. He told me he specialized in alternate sexuality in his psych practice and … well, I had some old issues I wanted to talk over with someone. Someone I didn't know who didn't know me. Know what I mean?"

  "Yeah."

  "It turns out this guy has a very loose definition of what consent means, especially when it comes to some of his female patients. I guess he thought I'd be into it, seeing as how we met and the stuff I'd told him about my past. Anyway, he offered one of them up to me."

  "One of what?"

  "One of the girls he had in his private dungeon. He said he had a sub in his basement that would do whatever I wanted."

  "Did you do it?"

  Kyle looks at me and, for a long moment, I'm not sure if he's going to answer. "Yeah, I did. I came here and I went downstairs, and he got on one end and told me to get on the other. I started to … I mean, I tried. But I just couldn't get it up. The girl was clearly drugged. I mean, I may be into some kinky shit, but that was way too fucked up for me. I got the hell out of there and never went back to see him again."

  "Jesus, you should have reported him."

  "Well, I didn't have much to report. He could probably play anything he told me off as just some kinky, consensual shit. But, yeah, I've thought about it a lot since then. That's one of the many things in my past I'm not very proud of."

  "So you think he keeps girls in his house against their will?"

  "I don't know. He never said it outright, but that's the vibe I got. We gotta get in there. The sooner the better." Kyle looks around a little more, then stands up. "Look, I'll go up to the front door. Act like I broke down on the main road and that I'm surprised to run into him after all this time. He'll recognize me and hopefully invite me in."

  "You think he'll buy that?"

  "I have no idea, but hopefully I can at least get in the front door with that story. Then maybe bring up his offer, see if he remembers telling me. I'll tell him I've thought about it a lot since then. I'll just try to keep him talking for as long as I can. When you see me go in, head around back and find out if there's any way to get inside. A window, anything."

  "What if Zoe's not even in there?" I ask.

  "I do
n't know. But I have a feeling she is. She's just his type."

  "What's that?"

  "Young. Submissive. Not much family or people who would come looking for her."

  "Well, that's where he made a big mistake. Okay. You got your gun?" I ask, feeling for the one I carry on me all the time now.

  "This wasn't even the part where the guns were supposed to come into play," Kyle says, laughing at the ludicrous situation. "What is up with all these fucked-up dudes, anyway?"

  "No kidding," I say. "Be careful, Kyle."

  "Don't worry, I will."

  I watch him walk down the long driveway and ring the doorbell. When the man who answers the door sees who it is, they shake hands and he lets Kyle in. So far so good. Now I just need to find out if this is the same Max that Zoe was talking about.

  I make my way around the house behind clumps of bushes and trees, and when I'm finally there, I notice that one of the small basement windows that sit close to the ground is cracked. I tap on it a little and knock a few shards free, then pull the rest out gently until I've removed all the glass. I stick my head inside to see how far the drop is, then lower myself down feet first.

  It's an old house, but everything in the basement is incredibly clean. It looks like it might have been renovated recently with new drywall and paint. As I walk further into the basement, I come to a section that looks older, part of the original foundation. One whole wall is made of concrete and has a metal door embedded in it. It looks like the wall continues on for a ways, but I can't find a light switch so everything remains dimly lit.

  I walk toward the door and my foot kicks something on the floor. I look down and a reflection catches my eye. I bend to see what it is and realize there's a phone lying on the floor next to my foot. I pick it up and press the button at the bottom and the screen lights up. It's a picture I took of the two of us at Venice Beach a little over a year ago. She's making a goofy face and I have my hand on her shoulder. It's one of the only times I've let that happen. I can't believe she made it her screen saver. But even more than that, I can't believe I'm holding Zoe's phone in my hand.

  "That fucking bastard."

  I try the metal door but it's locked. I mess with the phone a little and get the flashlight to turn on so I can at least see what's around me. I look up and down the hall, but don't see any other doors or exits except the metal one in front of me and the passageway I just came through. I head back out into the renovated part of the basement and look for a crowbar, or some keys if I'm really lucky. I quietly creep up a staircase and, at the very top, I find exactly what I'm looking for; a set of old keys on a hook.

  I grab them and make my way back to the metal door. I figure there has to be a reason it's so secure. Either Zoe is in there or I'm about to free some other girl from this psycho's dungeon. I slip the biggest key into the lock and it turns with a click. The metal hinge creaks a little as I push the door open.

  "Max?"

  "Zoe? Is that you?"

  I feel around the inside of the door for a light switch but can't find anything. I take a step back and look around the outside of the door and there it is. He has it set up so only he can control the lights in this room. When I look back in, Zoe is sitting on a small bed in a room that looks like a prison cell. She has her hands up shielding her eyes from the light.

  "Yes! Oh my God, Evan it's me! What are you doing? What's going on?"

  I run over to where Zoe is sitting and put my arms around her. "Jesus, Zoe. What did he do to you? Are you okay?" I can feel her shaking as I press her body to mine.

  "I don't know. I don't even know how I got in this room. Am I still at Max's house?"

  "Yes, you're still in his house. Did he do anything to you?"

  "No, I don't think so." Zoe looks down at her body like she's checking for wounds, then looks up at me. "But, how did you find me? How did you get here?"

  "I have a friend with me. You know him—Kyle—from that daddy show you were on."

  "What's he doing here?"

  "It's a long story. Look, we need to get out of here. Now. Can you walk?"

  Zoe looks around the room. I can tell she's been drugged. Her eyes are only half-open and she's really spacey. "I think so," she says. "What is this place?"

  "I'll tell you later. We just need to get the hell out of here as soon as possible."

  6

  Zoe

  I can't believe he's here. This is exactly what I wished for, over and over again, as I lay in the dark. I know I must have been asleep for a while, but I have no idea for how long. When my eyes opened and there was nothing but darkness around me, all I could picture in my head was Evan's face. I kept praying that the darkness would go away, and when the room lit up he would be here with me.

  I knew something was very wrong when my mind started to clear. My eyes had been open for a while, and I called Max's name into the darkness, but he never came.

  I've never felt like this in my life. My head feels heavy and thick, and I can barely move any part of my body. I know Max drugged me. Why else would I have fallen asleep in the middle of the day?

  When I heard the sounds like metal scraping against metal, then a low moan as a faint sliver of light opened up into the room, I sat up.

  "Max?" I say, thinking it had to be his dark outline in the doorway.

  "Zoe? Is that you?"

  I can't even breathe. I would know his voice anywhere. It's Evan.

  "Yes! Oh my God, Evan it's me!"

  A bright light fills the room and I cover my eyes. But in that first flash of light, that was Evan I saw standing in the doorway. I'm so happy I'm sobbing. I feel him put his arms around me and I grip him so tight I'm sure I'm hurting him. But no matter what I do, I can't seem to get close enough to him.

  Evan was right. I was playing games with him. I was being manipulative and I was doing all kinds of stupid things to make him jealous. I hate myself for how I've been behaving. Evan didn't deserve any of that.

  When my eyes finally adjust to the fluorescent lights, I look up at him. I see the concern in his eyes and it makes everything so real. I know that I don't want to play games with Evan ever again. He helps me stand up and holds me there because my legs feel like noodles. I fall against him and I feel his strong arms supporting me. I feel like I must be dreaming. The way his body feels against mine is too perfect. "What are you doing here? What's going on?" I ask.

  Evan talks and I try to follow along, but all I can think about is the way it feels to have his arms around me and look into his eyes. His deep, dark eyes are telling me more than they ever have before, and I can feel that it's true. He feels something more for me than a guardian would.

  I know it's beyond inappropriate, but all I can think about as I gaze up at Evan is kissing his perfect lips and pushing my hands through his soft, dark hair. Every fiber of my being wants to feel his body pressed up against mine so that there's no separation between us at all.

  "I'm so sorry, Zoe. I should have never let this happen to you. I was trying to protect you, and I don't know how everything got so out of control."

  "No, Evan. It wasn't your fault. I was being a total asshole. I shouldn't have come here. I should have listened to you. I'm really sorry. I'm so glad you're here," I say, my head buried in his chest. "I knew something was wrong. I was just laying here in the dark, praying that you would find me somehow. I fucked up so bad, Evan."

  "Shhh, it's okay," Evan says as he strokes my hair. "This isn't your fault."

  "Yes it is. If I had listened to you, I wouldn't be in this place. We wouldn't be in this place. I don't know what Max was going to do to me, but I'm scared of him, Evan. Is he who you were trying to protect me from?" I look up into Evan's eyes again, and every shred of anger that was there when he looked at me in the past is completely gone. His eyes are filled with kindness and concern as he pushes my hair out of my face. But there's more there, I can feel it by the way his hand shakes when he touches my face.

  "No, he isn't the one
," he says, looking like he just snapped out of a deep, consuming thought. "I didn't even know about this jackass until a couple hours ago. It's just an incredible stroke of luck that I found you here. The people I've been trying to protect you from … they're still out there, Zoe. And they're after both of us."

  "But what do they want?"

  "They want to kill me and they want you for …"

  Evan stops short and closes his eyes. I can't believe it could possibly be that bad. Who the hell are these people anyway? "They want me for what? Please tell me, Evan."

  "They want you for some sort of sex slavery ring. To pay off your father's debt."

  "What? You're kidding, right?" I say, backing up a bit. "A debt my dead dad owes?"

  "No, I'm not kidding. He wasn't a good man, Zoe. I didn't want you to find out what a horrible person your dad was; that's why I didn't tell you about any of this. But I don't know. Maybe it would have been better if I had. I wanted to protect you and take care of you so badly, but all I wound up doing was putting you in danger."

  Evan's face is so serious, but that look in his eyes, it's so sweet and kind and it's pulling at my heart to see him look at me like that. For over a year his eyes have been so angry, and now I think I understand why. He hasn't been mad at me all this time. He's been mad at my dad and the men who are after me.

  I reach up and touch his cheek, and he doesn't move away or tell me to stop. "But you are taking care of me," I say. "You're here now and I don't think I've ever felt safer in my life. You're the most amazing man I've ever known, Evan." I look up at his lips and run my thumb across the smooth surface. Evan goes completely still. He doesn't try to stop me. His arms are frozen around me but I can feel his quick breath on my skin.

  For this one beautiful moment, I forget everything. The men who are after us, Max drugging me and locking me in this room, and the fact that Evan is my godfather. It all melts away and the only thing left is the kindest and most caring man I've ever known in my life. Someone who has been risking his life to protect me.