Dangerous Desires

by Tia Siren

  My lip started to tremble. What was he doing to me? There were two vacant years between us. He didn’t deserve my tears. He left me. He walked out.

  Maybe I didn’t know why I was here or what happened to me, but I wasn’t ready to forget the hollow feeling he had created in my chest.

  “I-I just want to get up and take a shower. Please.” I turned my head before he could see the first tear fall.

  “I’ll get Belinda. Hold on.”

  He strolled out of the room. The tears were heavy on my lashes. Reid Taylor was a liar. A horrible liar. Because as long as he was here my heart was going to break over and over. And that hurt like hell.

  5

  Reid

  I sat in the living room, waiting for Abi to finish her shower. She had dismissed Belinda almost as soon as I sent her in. I realized maybe she just wanted me out of the room. Could I blame her? If she didn’t have her full memory from yesterday things had to be confusing for her.

  Until I had some answers, it was going to be difficult to work on capturing her attacker. The police had visited this morning but, while Abi was unconscious, there wasn’t much they could do. I wanted to speak to her first.

  I hadn’t visited the cabin in Big Bear in over a year. It was far from L.A. and there was no reason to think the paparazzi would be able to find her here. Keeping her safe meant keeping her off the public’s radar. As far as they knew, she was at her Malibu home recovering.

  I flattened a large map on the coffee table and circled the locations of Abi’s timeline for the seventy-two hours prior to the shooting. Ralph reluctantly forwarded her schedule to me. He had threatened to ride up to Big Bear if Abi didn’t call the minute she awakened. He was the only one who knew where she was. I had to use the location as a bargaining chip to take her from the hospital.

  The door creaked open and I looked up. God, she was gorgeous. I had tried to forget how soft her lips were. How the sunlight made her eyes look like the Caribbean Sea. I avoided her movies. I turned off her interviews. For two years, I built a security empire without a single glimpse of Abi Lawrence’s breathtaking body. But I was a fucking idiot to think I could erase her. The lines of her body had been seared into my hands. I knew every curve and freckle. I couldn’t forget her, even when I drowned myself in bourbon and brunettes.

  “How was the shower?” I asked.

  Her hair hung in damp tendrils on her shoulders.

  “Good. I needed it.” She walked toward me. “Where did these clothes come from?”

  “I had a few things sent here while you recuperate.”

  “I feel fine. I’ll call my driver to come pick me up. Or Ralph. I’m sure he’d rather do it himself anyway.”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Where is my phone?” She scanned the dining room table and the kitchen counter.

  “Abi, you aren’t going anywhere. You’re staying here.”

  “The hell I am.” It was the first glimpse of the spitfire I knew. I let out a deep breath, relieved she wasn’t different. That two years hadn’t changed her.

  I rose from the couch. “Someone tried to kill you yesterday. Until I find him, you’re not leaving.”

  I saw the fear flash across her eyes. She stepped back and gripped a chair.

  “Abi?”

  She sank into the seat.

  “What is it?” In one long stride, I was next to her. “Are you in pain?”

  She shook her head. “I-I remember pieces of it. I didn’t before, but it just…I had a memory of yesterday.”

  I wanted to pull her into my arms. Keep her safe. Tell her I’d kill the sick bastard who tried to hurt her. I’d never let her go again. But one thing at a time. Catch the killer first.

  “What do you remember?” I took the seat next to her, trying to give her space to breathe.

  Her eyes darted back and forth.

  “I was leaving the gym with Javier. It was barely light out. The sun was starting to come up and I teased him about how evil he was for making me work out so early.” She paused, staring at her bare feet. “He told me it would all be worth it once I started the award circuit. He said, ‘you’ve got this’.” She held her breath. “And that’s when I heard the gun. I screamed and I don’t remember what happened next.” Her voice cracked. “I think. Maybe…”

  “What, Abi? What is it?”

  “Javier? Did he? Is he ok? Where is Javier?”

  “He’s still in the hospital. He jumped in front of the gunman. That’s why the bullet grazed under your arm. I’m also anxious for him to wake up. I need to interview him.”

  Her eyes widened in horror. “It went through him?”

  I nodded. “It did. But the doctors say his surgery was a success. He’s being watched carefully. I’ll have the first call,” I assured her.

  “I want to see him. I need to thank him.” She jumped from the chair. “I have to go to the hospital. He has to know he saved me.”

  The pain circled my ribs, suffocating me. She was on the verge of hysteria. The shock began to settle in. Her brush with death. The memories of yesterday morning. It was starting to catch up to her.

  “You can’t go.” I looked at her. “I’ll make some calls and get an update on Javier for you. But this is the safest place in the world you can be right now. If you go anywhere near that hospital the press will be all over you. You can’t risk it. I won’t allow it.”

  “You can’t hold me here against my will, Reid.”

  “Want to test that theory?” I taunted.

  I wasn’t letting her out of my sight. She didn’t need to know I slept in the chair in her room last night. That for twenty-four hours, I hadn’t been more than twenty feet away from her. That I was holstered and ready to shoot at the first sign of danger.

  There would be time for that. Her life came before anything else.

  “You can’t be serious.” Her eyes flared.

  “You’re not leaving.”

  She crossed her arms. “And I was almost going to say thank you for the hot shower and soft bed, but I’ve changed my mind.”

  I arched my eyebrows.

  She stormed across the great room and into the bedroom.

  “And this T-shirt isn’t even designer,” she said, slamming the door in her wake.

  I smirked. That was a hell of a lot easier than I thought it was going to be.

  6

  Abi

  I swear I didn’t know I could survive an entire week without my cell phone, but I managed. There was actually something peaceful about being disconnected from everyone at all times. I wasn’t willing to admit it to Reid. Every morning I asked for my phone. And every time he gave me the same gruff “no.”

  Luckily, the Big Bear cabin was stocked with an incredible library. Nurse Belinda informed me that since I didn’t have a concussion, I had no reading restrictions. I had started with the classics.

  Belinda left after the first day. I think Reid was afraid I’d try to get her to conspire to sneak me out in a medical bag.

  I could change the dressing on my arm without any help. And after a few days, the wrapped gauze bandage was reduced to an oversized Band-Aid. The slice the bullet cut ran from the side of my bicep along the back of my arm. Most people would probably never notice it.

  I wasn’t going to be one of those people. I’d wear it the rest of my life, knowing how close I came to dying.

  I closed the book I was reading and placed it next to me on the bedside table. The house was quiet. I knew in a few minutes I’d hear Reid’s footsteps in the kitchen. He was a notorious midnight snacker.

  It was one of a thousand things about Reid that was carved into my eternal memory. He liked to run early in the morning. He never missed a Texas football game on TV. He liked to shave with a fresh razor and never used one more than once. He liked bourbon straight. I didn’t want to fall asleep reliving everything I knew about him.

  I pulled the covers close to my chest and turned off the light.

  Ther
e was so much screaming. I shook my head, trying to make it stop.

  “Abi. Abi. You’re dreaming.”

  My eyes adjusted to the darkness. Reid was next to me on the bed. His arm wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me against his chest. I let go of the pillow I had tried to strangle.

  His chest was warm and bare. For a second I nuzzled against him, sighing into his embrace. God, I loved how his skin always smelled like clean soap.

  “It’s ok. It was just a dream,” he soothed.

  I pushed off the solid plane of muscle. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. You can go back to bed.”

  “No. I’m staying until you’re asleep.”

  “Why?”

  “What?” He squeezed my shoulder. “You’re upset. I’ll wait until I know you’re ok.”

  “I am ok.”

  “Try to sleep.”

  I shrugged away from him. “Why are you doing all this?” I couldn’t remember what the dream was about. But I wasn’t scared anymore. My heartbeat had returned to normal.

  “I want to make sure you’re ok.”

  “You’re not a bodyguard anymore, Reid. You haven’t been mine in two years.”

  I was glad it was dark so I couldn’t see his eyes.

  He tensed against me. “Abi, it’s late. Lie down and get some sleep.”

  I shook his arm off my shoulder. “Damn it. Fuck. Shit.”

  “What is wrong with you?”

  I shoved his chest, moving him barely an inch.

  “What are you doing in my bed Reid? What am I doing in your house?” I was yelling. “Why are we here? Why are you here? Why do you think you have a say in anything that happens to me after you walked out? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

  “Don’t do this.” His voice remained icy calm.

  “Do what? Show emotion? Tell you you’re driving me insane with your controlling bullshit? That you have no right to crawl in my bed after you’ve been out of it for two years?” I was on my knees, growing taller and angrier.

  He was going to hear two years of pent-up heartbreak.

  I moved to strike him but he caught my wrist before I could slap his face.

  “Stop it, Abi.”

  “No.” I threw the other arm at him, and he snatched that one just as quickly.

  “There’s no point in doing this.”

  “Why? Because you think you might say something? Feel something? Or would you rather just keep me up here trapped like a prisoner. I can be Rapunzel in your rustic cabin,” I mocked. “I can’t live like this. I want to leave. Tomorrow.”

  “I would have to perform a complete threat assessment at the Malibu estate before we could relocate. I don’t see why it’s even worth it. You’re safe here. The threat doesn’t know you’re here.”

  It was that word that chilled me. The threat was still out there.

  “I can’t stop living my life because of a lunatic. If I stay in hiding, he’s won.”

  I couldn’t help but feel the warmth in Reid’s hands. His grip on my wrists was steady.

  “He’s not winning. And he’s not going to win. I’ll make sure of that.”

  “While keeping me hostage?”

  “God damn it, Abi. You’re not a hostage. You’re safe.”

  I tugged on his grip. “Then let me go.”

  “No.”

  I pulled harder against the restraint. “Reid,” I whispered.

  He drew me closer to him, so that my body leaned forward.

  “Don’t ask me to let you go again.”

  “You can’t keep me.”

  He was close enough I could feel his breath on my cheek and the heat from his body. I inhaled his scent, swearing I could reject what these memories did to me. The familiarity of Reid was too much. The closeness. The intimacy. The pain that was between us.

  Darkness surrounded us and all I could think about was why we weren’t together anymore. I had loved this man with every part of my soul. And he had left me alone.

  7

  Reid

  The smell of her shampoo made me drunk. Her skin. Her warm breath. Five shots of bourbon and I’d feel less intoxicated than I did in this moment, holding her.

  I’d spent the week keeping an eye on her, but keeping my distance. It hadn’t been easy. More like hard as hell.

  I handled conference calls in the study, burying myself in numbers and projections. I went through itineraries with Eileen, reframing my appointments for virtual meetings. I listened to the acquisition proposals, studying the due diligences of the companies I wanted to bring into my portfolio. And I did all of it while digging into the details of Abi’s attack.

  I hadn’t made much headway. The LAPD wasn’t any more successful.

  I’d watched the scratchy feed the gym had provided a hundred times. It was dark and impossible to make out the gunman. If only she had hired a new bodyguard. If only she took her safety as seriously as I did.

  She wanted to be normal. She wanted to get coffee and go for runs in the park, but that wasn’t the kind of life she lived. A-list celebrities couldn’t do that unless they were willing to hide out in tiny Montana towns.

  Wasn’t that what I had loved about her? She was normal. Abi was a breath of fresh air in a town that ran on greed and popularity. It made it even more unbelievable that someone wanted to hurt her.

  There had to be more to the attack. There had to be more information out there, but I didn’t want to press her. I didn’t want to ask too much too soon. But part of me knew I was using every distraction I could grab, to keep the inevitable from happening.

  My chest pounded. I wanted her as much now as the first time I met her.

  “You left me,” she whispered.

  “I know.” I held her wrists against my chest. I had regretted it every fucking day.

  I dropped her wrists, tangling my hands in her hair. I crushed her mouth with a rough kiss. A kiss that said everything I couldn’t.

  The little moans coming from her throat made me ache for her. My tongue twisted along hers. Tasting her. Drinking her in.

  Her hands wrapped against my neck.

  I could devour her. Wipe away the pain of the past. Kiss her breathless until she forgot I hurt her. I wasn’t the man who was supposed to leave. I was the man who had sworn to always protect her with my life.

  I groaned against the softness of her lips. “Abi.”

  She nipped at my mouth, climbing into my lap one leg at a time. My tongue flicked along hers. Her skin was warm under the flimsy tank top she slept in. My fingers pressed into her flesh, remembering how she felt. Every smooth line. Every curve. My hands molded to the roundness of her breasts. Her tits perked into hard points under my touch. Sweet precious Abi.

  She sighed as I lifted the tank top over her head.

  Her nipples rubbed against my chest as I brought my mouth crashing down on hers. The friction built as her hips ground into my cock.

  “Don’t leave me again,” she whimpered.

  “I won’t,” I promised, tugging her panties at her hips. I meant it. I meant every fucking word.

  I could have lost her.

  Never again. Tonight I’d prove it. I’d show her how much I loved her. How sorry I was. As I buried myself inside her over and over. Making her scream my name. Coaxing her to come harder than she ever had.

  Tonight was a new beginning.

  We’d fuck until the sun came up. Until we were covered in sweat and the smell of sex. Fuck until we had forgiven each other. Until I had forgiven myself.

  I lowered Abi to the pillow, sliding my hand between her legs.

  The alert alarm sounded from my tablet.

  I jerked upright.

  “Oh my God. What is that?” she asked, panting the words.

  It was a high-pitched alarm, guaranteed to wake me even in a deep sleep.

  “Wait here,” I instructed, walking into the great room. My devices were plugged in and resting on the kitchen table.

  My tablet blink
ed and the siren wailed from the small speaker.

  I pressed mute and read the alert on the screen.

  Abi appeared in the doorway with the quilt wrapped around her naked shoulders. “Reid? What is it?”

  I rubbed the back of my neck. “You didn’t tell me you had email threats.” I stared at her.

  “What are you talking about?” She stepped closer.

  “I asked for details. Everything. Anything. How many times have we gone over the past six months? I said you couldn’t leave any detail out. Nothing.”

  “Why do you sound so mad at me? What happened, Reid?”

  I held up the screen. “This. This is what happened. I got the report back on your email account. You’ve had fifty-five threats from the same account. The IP address changed ten times, but there’s no mistake, you had a repeated threat.”

  How could she have withheld this information? Didn’t she know I was doing everything in my power to catch this guy?

  “Let me see that.” She took the tablet from my hands and read the top briefing of the report. “I’ve never seen these.” She looked at me. “I haven’t had any threatening emails.”

  “They’re all right here, Abi. Fifty-five.” I hadn’t read more than a few keywords from them.

  “How did you even get into my email?”

  “My team analyzed all your traffic,” I answered. “They scoured your social media too. I should have a report that cross-references this address with any posts.”

  “You didn’t ask me about that.” She shoved the tablet into my hands.

  “Ask? I had to get an analysis on any threatening activity.”

  She turned away. “So you hacked my accounts? Did you break into my phone too? Is that why I can’t have it?”

  “Hold on. We’re getting off target here.” I tossed the tablet on the table. “These emails could lead us to your attacker and you’re pissed at me?”

  She pulled the quilt tighter. It was starting to slip against her arm. There was a thin sliver of moonlight falling across the floor like a line dividing the room in half. Abi was on her side and I was on mine.