Ruby

by Heather Burnside

  Her eyes drifted back towards the house, which had a back extension to the downstairs with a flat roof. It had been added before they moved in to give the house more kitchen and dining space. As she looked through the window, Trina saw her mother go out into the garden and start bringing the washing in. While she worked, she hummed a tune but it wasn’t a cheerful tune; it sounded melancholy. Trina felt a momentary stab of guilt but quickly pushed it aside.

  An idea was beginning to form in her head, but she couldn’t act on it until her mother was back indoors. She lay back down on her bed and waited till she could no longer hear her mother humming. Then she went to the window again to check her mother was out of sight. She’d gone back indoors. Good!

  Trina eased the window open and looked down. There was only a short distance to the extension roof. It would be easy to drop down onto it. The extension was a lot higher up from ground level though so that might prove difficult to climb down. She carried on looking for a while, trying to decide whether it was worth the effort.

  Why not? she thought. At least it would mean she would get to meet her friends so, to her mind, it was worth taking the risk. She eased herself out of the bedroom window and straddled the ledge. Then she swung both legs over it. She gripped the ledge with her arms and hands, and slowly lowered herself so her feet touched down lightly onto the roof.

  Next she tiptoed across till she was at the outer edge of the extension. She lay down softly, peering over the edge to see through the kitchen window. There she spotted her mother who was chunnering away to herself, as usual, something about the magpies creating a racket again. Trina stifled a chuckle, knowing that her mother would be blaming the magpies for the noise she had made while walking across the roof. At least that meant she had done a good job of keeping her steps light.

  Trina looked around her, assessing her options. Then she spotted the guttering and noticed that it led to a drainpipe at the far corner. The window finished about two thirds of the way across the extension wall, so the far corner would be the best place at which to descend to ground level without being spotted. She tiptoed across the roof again, this time making her way to the drainpipe, away from the window.

  Easing herself over the edge proved a bit trickier this time. But Trina was a tall, athletic girl and she knew she could do it. At only twelve, she was also light enough for the drainpipe to support her weight. She swung her legs down, her feet gripping tightly onto one of the drainpipe brackets. She heard a bang as her feet hit the drainpipe and cringed, hoping she hadn’t raised her mother’s suspicions.

  Trina waited a few seconds but couldn’t hear anything so she climbed down the wall, holding onto the drainpipe with her hands and feet till she had safely reached the bottom. Then, without waiting to see if her mother had heard her, she ran. She continued running till she was safely out of her street and on the way to Nicole’s home.

  A feeling of euphoria swept through her, and she grinned to herself. She’d done it! She’d got out of the house and her mam hadn’t been able to stop her. There was every chance her mother would find out later when she came upstairs to check on her. But Trina wasn’t bothered.

  She felt a sense of freedom. It wasn’t just about defying her mother. That was the easy part. No, it was also about becoming her own person.

  21

  August 1996

  It was a lovely summer evening in the school holidays and Trina was hanging out in the local park with Nicole. They had been firm friends ever since they had started secondary school almost three years ago, and now they were both fourteen. Trina had grown into a very attractive girl, still tall and slim but with ample curves.

  Her striking eyes were a deep, dark brown with a brilliant sheen which lit up her face. She also had full lips, a perfectly formed nose and high cheekbones and, although the scar was still visible, it was no longer repulsive, forming a smooth fine line across her left cheek.

  Nicole was on a similar wavelength to Trina; they were both tough, athletic girls who liked to push the boundaries. Lately they had started drinking after dark. They and a group of friends hid out in a clearing behind some bushes and guzzled from cans of cider, chatting and giggling till they felt merry.

  ‘So, go on, tell me, how was last night?’ Trina asked.

  A mischievous smile lit up Nicole’s face. ‘It was great. We started snogging first but then he wanted to go further so we did.’

  ‘What, you mean, all the way?’

  ‘Yeah, why not? It’s not like it’s the first time, is it?’

  ‘Did you use anything?’ asked Trina.

  ‘No, he pulled out just in time.’

  ‘Jesus, Nicole; you wanna be careful! You don’t want to end up pregnant.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I won’t. He’s bringing some condoms with him next time.’

  ‘What was it like?’ asked Trina.

  ‘Fuckin’ brilliant! I loved it.’

  Just then they were joined by two other friends, Emma and Clare, who were carrying a plastic bag containing several bottles of alcopop, a drink that Trina had never seen before, and puffing on cigarettes. They stopped and pulled two bottles from the bag then started drinking from them.

  ‘Why are you drinking fruit juice?’ asked Trina.

  ‘It’s not,’ said Emma. ‘It’s booze but it’s got fruit in it. Do you want to try some?’

  Trina took a swig from one of the bottles. ‘Eh, that’s nice,’ she said. ‘Can I have a bottle? I’ll let you have some of our cider.’

  They did a trade-off, then Trina soon returned to the conversation she had been having with Nicole before the two friends arrived.

  ‘Hey, have you two done it?’ asked Trina.

  ‘Done what?’ they both responded.

  ‘Had sex?’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Emma but Clare stayed quiet.

  ‘Fuckin’ brilliant innit?’ said Nicole.

  ‘Ew no, I didn’t like it,’ said Emma. ‘It fuckin’ hurt and then he came all over my legs and made a right mess.’

  The other three giggled then Nicole said, ‘That’s because he’s crap at it. You need to do it with someone who’s good. Alex is brilliant.’ Then she turned to Trina and asked, ‘Why haven’t you and Zac done it yet?’

  Zac Poole was a friend of Alex. He was a year older than Trina and one of the cool kids of his year. With boyish good looks, and a reputation for fighting, Trina had been overjoyed when he’d bumped into her in the park and asked to take her out. Not only did all the girls fancy him, but it also felt good to be the girlfriend of someone with his reputation.

  ‘I dunno. We’ve done other stuff but we’ve not gone all the way yet.’

  ‘You wanna watch he doesn’t go off with someone else. He could have any girl he wants. Alex told me there’s a girl he fancies in his year and if he doesn’t get sex with you, he’s gonna ask her out.’

  Trina didn’t comment but thoughts were cascading around in her head. Although it felt good to be linked to Zac, Trina still had a profound mistrust of the opposite sex, which stemmed back to her childhood. Memories of her errant father, the seedy rent collector, her cocky cousins and the vicious boys who had attacked her were always at the back of her mind. But she didn’t feel comfortable confiding in her friends about all of that.

  After they had been drinking for a while, and Trina was feeling more drunk than usual, they saw Zac and Alex appear through a gap in the bushes. The boys knew where Trina and Nicole hung out by now, and they had come to see them.

  Nicole walked straight over to Alex, draped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, and it wasn’t long before they left the space in the clearing to find a more private spot. Zac approached Trina, and the other girls stood to one side, giving them some space.

  ‘You wanna come for a walk?’ he asked, and Trina nodded then followed him out of the clearing.

  As they walked along the pathway he handed her a cigarette then took one for himself and lit them both. They smoked while they wal
ked along arm in arm. Trina missed her footing a few times and giggled when Zac helped her to regain her balance. She felt euphoric, partly from the effects of the booze and partly because she was getting attention from Zac Poole.

  ‘Where are we going?’ she asked.

  Zac nodded towards the park building in the distance, and smiled. ‘In there. We can have a sit down.’

  ‘Oh, OK,’ said Trina.

  They eventually reached the building. It was open at the front with a bench running along the back of it. They sat side by side, concealed in the shadows. Zac hadn’t made much of an effort at conversation on the way there but now he reached across and put his arm around her shoulder.

  ‘Come on, let’s have a snog,’ he said, pulling her towards him till their lips met.

  Trina complied with his wishes and as they kissed, she felt his hand on her breast. It gave her a shiver and she longed for him to go further. His hand soon moved to her neckline then slid under her top and inside her bra. When Trina felt his hand brush against her nipple a shiver of pleasure ran through her and she pushed her body against him, yearning for more.

  He pulled away from the kiss but kept his hand inside her clothing, teasing each of her nipples in turn. ‘You like that, don’t you?’ he said, and Trina nodded, her inhibitions lost to the alcohol.

  His other hand was soon inside her jeans, venturing downwards till he found her vagina and slipped a finger inside. Trina let out a squeal. The pleasure felt so intense and she continued to push against him till she was writhing in ecstasy on the bench.

  ‘Come on, let’s do it,’ he said.

  In Trina’s alcohol fuddled mind, she wanted sex. It felt so good with him that she wanted to carry on and she also knew it was what he wanted. It would keep him with her and boost her standing amongst her friends. But when he entered her, it was a let-down.

  Trina yelped as she felt a sharp pain between her legs. Zac took it as a yelp of joy and carried on plunging inside her. She gritted her teeth until he had finished. Having come this far, she could hardly back out now. It was soon over and Trina pulled her clothes back up. She was quickly sobering up; all desire had now left her and all she wanted to do was return to her friends.

  Zac looked across at her, noticing the displeasure on her face. ‘You were a virgin, weren’t you?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes,’ said Trina.

  ‘Good,’ said Zac. ‘I’m glad I was your first. I don’t like slappers.’

  He was smiling and Trina realised that he had gained far more pleasure from the act than she had. For a few moments they made pointless conversation till Zac walked her back to the clearing. A knowing look passed between Trina and the other girls. But, once Zac was gone, Trina didn’t feel like discussing the experience with them. Instead she made her way home alone, still feeling tipsy but with the feelings of euphoria now gone. It was getting late by the time she got back.

  ‘What on earth are you doing home at this time, child?’ her mother complained as Trina walked through the door. ‘And you’ve been drinking,’ she added, pushing her face up to Trina’s and smelling her breath. ‘Don’t bother denying it; I can smell it on you.’

  ‘I only had a bit,’ said Trina, with attitude. ‘Anyway, you drink so how can you have a go at me for doing it?’ She was already ignoring her mother’s tirade as she made her way up the stairs.

  ‘You listen to me when I’m talking to you, young lady!’ Daisy shouted after her.

  Trina kept walking, knowing there was nothing her mother would do to stop her. What could she do? If she grounded her, Trina would only sneak out. And if she stopped giving her money to spend, Trina would find another way to get it. Her mother didn’t even know half the tricks Trina got up to, such as walking to school so she could pocket her bus fare. She had no hold over someone as mentally strong as Trina.

  *

  The following day in school Nicole couldn’t wait to hear about Trina’s exploits.

  ‘Did you do it?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, we went all the way,’ said Trina, smiling proudly.

  ‘Did you like it?’

  ‘Yeah, it was good,’ said Trina.

  She didn’t want to admit to her friend that she hadn’t actually enjoyed it. In fact, it had been painful. But she wasn’t going to let Nicole or anybody else find out how she really felt. Instead it would remain her secret. Trina wanted Nicole to think she enjoyed sex as much as she did. She needed to fit in and to do so she had to be seen to be doing all the things her crowd did, and that included having sex with boys.

  At break time Trina and Nicole bumped into Zac and Alex. Normally Zac didn’t say much to Trina in school, but this time he made a show of putting his arm around her and proudly showing her off as his girl. Then he sneaked a kiss out of view of the teachers. When Trina broke away from the kiss, she noticed the admiring glances from other girls and a self-satisfied smile graced her lips. She had now earnt not only the respect of her friends but Zac’s acknowledgement too.

  Trina might not have enjoyed the sex act but it didn’t bother her that much. Having gained Zac’s acknowledgement she wanted to keep hold of him, knowing that the longer she was with him the more it would boost her reputation. Being with Zac gave her status. It was her ticket to the cool club. In fact, it was even more than that. Trina had discovered that her sexuality was the ultimate weapon with which to wield power over men. And it was a potent aphrodisiac.

  22

  June 2007

  Now that the landlord was onto them, Ruby and Tiffany were afraid of being evicted. But Ruby had thought of a solution and she could tell Tiffany was intrigued as she stared back at her with a puzzled expression on her face. Then she said, ‘Go on then, what is it?’

  ‘Well,’ began Ruby, ‘I think we should get another place, a bigger place; one with loads of rooms that we can rent out to other girls so we can take a mark-up from what they earn.’

  ‘What, like a brothel, you mean?’

  ‘Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.’

  ‘And how the fuck will we manage that? We can’t exactly go to the bank for a loan and show them our business plan, can we?’

  ‘We won’t have to. Victor will put up the money.’

  ‘Victor? You mean that creepy little man that comes to you for a good beating?’

  ‘Erm, the client who comes to me for my dominatrix services, don’t you mean?’ said Ruby, with a tone of mock authority.

  Tiffany laughed. ‘Listen to you!’

  ‘Well, if I’m gonna do this, Tiffany, then I’m gonna do it right. Anyway, yes, that’s Victor. He mentioned it a while ago, but I just said I’d think about it. I must admit, the fact that he’s so creepy did put me off a bit. But, he’s so into the whole scene and just wants to be a bigger part of it.

  ‘Anyway, last time I saw him he said he’d put the money up but I would be the one running it as he needs to protect his reputation. And he said he’d share the profits with me on a fifty-fifty basis. Apparently, he’s loaded and has lots of businesses. And, he’s even found a place that he thinks will be perfect. I’ve been mulling it over for the last few days.’

  ‘Really? It sounds interesting. But, won’t it mean we’ll be under his control?’

  ‘No, you’re wrong, Tiffany. He’s the one who’s under my control. He’ll do anything I say, and he’ll have a fuckin’ smile on his face while he’s doing it too. Besides, what’s the alternative? Stay here and wait to be thrown out?’

  Then Ruby’s tone softened and she stared into Tiffany’s eyes. ‘I want the best for us, Tiff. I feel like all this is my fault for letting clients come back here in the first place, and I want to make it up to you.’

  ‘Aw, thanks, Rubes,’ said Tiffany. ‘But don’t forget, we’re in this together. And I suppose you have got a point.’

  ‘Definitely, Tiff. Just imagine, it’ll mean we can book in clients at the same time instead of having to take turns.’ Ruby was becoming animated by now, her words tumbling out of her
in a rush to share her thoughts with Tiffany. ‘And I’ll be able to have a proper dungeon. Not just a space in a bedroom. A proper dungeon! I’ll be able to get all the big equipment. The clients are always asking for it: stocks, cage, sex sling, the fuckin’ lot!’

  ‘Erm, maybe it is worth thinking about. I could help you man the desk too and it’ll be great fixing the place up together. We could go and have a look at some other places where our friends work and see how they’ve kitted them out.’

  ‘Course we can. Tell you what, why don’t we go and see the place he’s found and take it from there? If we don’t like the look of it then we don’t need to take it any further.’

  ‘Sounds good to me,’ said Tiffany. ‘But I’m not agreeing to anything till I’ve seen the place and had chance to have a good think about it.’

  ‘I wouldn’t expect you to,’ said Ruby stroking her girlfriend’s shoulder affectionately. She was so glad she had Tiffany’s support, and welcomed her enthusiasm. Life didn’t seem so bad when you had someone loving and caring to share it with. ‘Trust me, Tiff,’ she said. ‘It’ll all work out fine.’

  *

  The following day Ruby went to visit her mother. When she walked in the living room Tyler was sitting playing on his games console as usual.

  ‘I’ll go and make us all a cuppa,’ said her mother. ‘Tyler, why don’t you come off that thing for once and talk to your sister?’

  Tyler flicked his head around briefly. ‘Hang on a minute. Let me just finish this game,’ he said.

  Ruby smiled and ruffled his hair then sat down on the sofa until he’d finished. She heard her mother shout through from the kitchen, ‘Aren’t you gonna tell your sister your good news?’

  Tyler then seemed to stop playing mid-game. When he got up, the look on his face suggested he felt a little ashamed for ignoring Ruby, and he took the seat next to her on the sofa.