My Beginning With Mr. Darcy - Book Two

by Lauren King

  “I am certain that Papa will also allow you to write to me too. If it becomes an issue with the cost for the post, then I will pay for it. That will not be a problem, alright Mary, Kitty?” Elizabeth affirms.

  “Thank you, Lizzy.” Both Mary and Kitty reply appreciatively.

  “One other thing I want you two to remember is that you should not be influenced by others that will belittle your efforts in any way. You stick to what you know is true and good for yourself. If you are doing nothing wrong, then no one should be giving you trouble. If they do, then you should let Papa know. You should not be disparaged in any way by anyone. Since there will be only you two left at Longbourn then you should do your best to help each other. That will make things easier for each of you, and the tasks will not seem too overwhelming.” Elizabeth is a little emotional, but she keeps it at bay. She wants to provide a strong confident viewpoint for her younger sisters who need the guidance very much.

  “We understand, Lizzy.” Mary responds modestly.

  “Kitty, everything I have said to Mary applies to you too; do you understand? But I do not mean that you have to read sermons unless you want to.” All the sisters laugh. Elizabeth especially wants Kitty to understand because she was easily influenced and swayed by Lydia. Kitty has to learn to stand on her own and stop being silly or flirtatious to catch a man’s eyes.

  “I do, Lizzy; thank you. I will endeavor to be a better person. I honestly never thought I would hear such demeaning remarks as I have heard thrown at Lydia and Mama the other day. I would not be as daring and as brazen as Lydia.” Kitty replies with clear awareness and comprehension.

  “Well, that means you have learned your lesson; I am glad to see it because there are worse women out in society who would not hesitate to degrade you even worse than that matron did to Lydia and Mama. I imagine true derision along with a public cut would be horrible.” Elizabeth hopes that her explanations will motivate her sisters to continue on their path of enlightenment and improvement of themselves.

  Kitty’s face expresses that she is scared of ever having to face those awful aspects. “I have to say, Lydia had it coming. With some time away from her, I can see the full effect of her ill behavior. I am….embarrassed to realize that I followed her behavior thinking that it was all right to be like that although I never did the things that she did. I promise you; I did not, Lizzy.” Kitty divulges candidly. She does not want her family to think that she was also a ruined girl.

  “I believe you, Kitty. I think you were just fighting for attention in a house full of sisters. Lydia is vivacious and fun, thus it is easy to get entwined in it and just follow her lead. Somehow, I think you would not have gone as far as Lydia. You have always listened even though you did not follow through with mine and Jane’s reminders, but you did not disregard them purposely like Lydia did.” Elizabeth assures Kitty. She is glad to instill some confidence into Kitty so that she can build off of it.

  Elizabeth wants to lighten the mood, so she shifts back to her jewelry. “Alright, ladies; I was thinking that since Jane will be wearing some of my jewelry, if you want, you both could too. Mary could wear the emerald brooch and hair comb. Will that be alright if you do not wear the entire emerald set, Jane?”

  “Of course, Mary should wear the brooch and the hair comb; they will look lovely on her.” Jane concurs.

  “Here try it on, Mary. It will not be too ostentatious; that is to your liking, right?” Elizabeth asks; she understands Mary’s subdued, simple taste.

  “Yes, thank you, Lizzy, Jane.” Mary replies thankfully while Elizabeth places the beautiful brooch and hair comb on her.

  All the sisters compliment how pretty the jewels look on Mary. “Go see in the looking glass, Mary. They are very pretty on you.” Elizabeth encourages as she gets up with Mary and stands next to her while they gaze at the looking glass together. Then Elizabeth comes back to the bed and turns to Kitty who is gazing at Mary’s pleased face.

  “Kitty, if you want, I think you should wear my ruby pendant necklace that I wear daily. It will be lovely on you. Do you want to try it on?” Elizabeth asks happily. She can see that Kitty is delighted and speechless to don such an expensive piece of jewelry.

  Kitty blissfully nods her head and says, “Thank you, Lizzy! Ohh! It is so simple yet elegant; it is so very pretty. I can really wear it tomorrow, Lizzy?”

  Elizabeth chuckles then replies, “Yes, you can wear it tomorrow.”

  Kitty gleefully giggles and rushes to the looking glass to look at herself with the necklace on. “Really, Lizzy? Truly?”

  “Yes, yes, Kitty.” Elizabeth laughs at her sister’s delight. “Just do not lose it, please.” Elizabeth laughs again.

  “Oh Lord, I will be very, very careful and very, very aware of it, Lizzy. I would die if I lost it!” Kitty exclaims and then happily continues to stare at her reflection. “Jane, Mary do you think it looks pretty on me?”

  “Yes, it is very elegant on you, indeed.” Jane replies happily. This is how she envisioned that all her sisters would interact with each other…except Lydia has ruined it. Maybe Jane should try talking to Lydia again.

  “It is very pretty on you, Kitty.” Mary answers honestly. “All of Lizzy’s jewels are beautiful are they not?”

  “Yes, every single piece is stunning!” Kitty proclaims joyously.

  There is a knock on the door, thus Kitty opens it to find Lydia standing there.

  “Kitty, do you want to come back to my chambers and look at this latest fashion magazine – La Belle Assemblée with me? There are all the newest fashions in here.” Lydia asks delightedly as she looks at Kitty and then notices that Kitty has Elizabeth’s ruby necklace on.

  “Not right now, Lydia. I am talking to Lizzy, Jane, and Mary. I will look at it with you another time, alright?” Kitty responds nicely. Kitty can actually feel the difference of not being around Lydia. How could she have been so blind to it before? Well, she is glad that she can finally see the difference now.

  “What do you have to talk with them about? Since when did you want to talk with Mary, Lizzy, and Jane? Come on, Kitty; let us look at all the latest fashions. It will be fun. You do not want to be with them. They do not do anything except lecture us and admonish us all the time. Even now that I am a married woman, Lizzy and Jane persists on yelling at me. They know nothing about marriage and men, yet they still lecture me on how to act. Is that not funny?” Lydia snorts and rolls her eyes disapprovingly then continues. “What are you going to talk to them about, Kitty?” Lydia speaks unkindly and, most of all, offensively.

  “Lydia, you truly need to stop with your misconceived ideas about your sisters. If you continue to talk like this, then I cannot talk to you further. You have been wrong and you are wrong to act and talk in this manner to us. It is absolutely horrid. Did the cut from that matron not indicate to you about your lack of manners? Was the embarrassment and shame that it brought on not awful enough? I hope you will heed my advice and stop your hatefulness and ill manners. You will push everyone away from you.” Kitty voices her opinions straightforwardly for once. She must not let Lydia sway her; she knows that Lydia’s behavior is detested by decent people. Kitty cannot risk being considered like Lydia.

  “Oh Lord, Kitty! You have been talking with Lizzy for too long. You are beginning to sound exactly like her high-and-mighty self, now. You used to follow me everywhere and wanted to do everything I did. The men looked at you because you were with me; I was fun to be around – not a stick-in-the-mud like some people.” Lydia huffs smugly and sarcastically.

  Mary gets up from the bed to go to stand at the chamber’s door to intervene; she grimly says, “You will never be a better person if you do not see what you did was wrong. You have brought shame to us all, Lydia. Realize it and learn from it. It is bad enough that you have never even apologized for your misdeeds but for you to stand here and still talk this way is travesty. Just because you are married now, does not make what you did right. You are only extremely lucky t
hat you are married. You need to remember who you married. Having an immoral, dishonorable husband forced into marry you is not something to be proud of.” Mary has never been so confident and forceful with anyone. After Elizabeth’s genuine, kind talk, she found some confidence to start with.

  “Mary, you are so self-righteous, you do not know anything else.” Lydia counters angrily.

  “I would rather be self-righteous than unrighteous like you and your husband.” Mary retorts; her anger emerges when Lydia dares to make fun of her righteousness.

  Mrs. Gardiner approaches Elizabeth’s chambers and sees Lydia standing on the outside angrily speaking to someone on the inside. Is she arguing with Elizabeth and Jane again? “Kitty, Mary, Lydia what is going on? Why is there another argument?” Mrs. Gardiner asks insistently. There has been nothing but tension ever since Lydia and Mrs. Bennet arrived here. It is supposed to be a happy time for Elizabeth and the entire family, but it has been one argument after another.

  Mary answers first. “Aunt, Lydia was being very rude again. I was just pointing it out to her so she can learn better manners.”

  “You and Kitty were teaming up against me. Lecturing me, reprimanding me, and picking on me. They are all on Lizzy’s side. Lizzy probably told them to be mean to me and isolate me, Aunt.” Lydia reports her delusions to win sympathy.

  “That is not true, Aunt! Lydia, you are a well-rehearsed liar, now? You are unbelievable!” Mary announces with great surprise. “You know that God does not want you to lie, right? He knows everything.” Mary stares at Lydia unflinchingly.

  “Ohhh….go away and read your sermons, Mary!” Lydia screams in frustration.

  “How dare you talk to me that way? You are a crude, mean, ugly person, Lydia! You think just because I have never said anything means that you have a right to talk to me in your rude, ignorant, selfish, nasty ways? You should be reading sermons so that you can learn how to be a modest, kind person instead of a bad one that has premarital relations! I will not talk to you anymore.” Mary surprises herself with her anger and bluntness. Well, it I true, anyways. She discontentedly walks back to the bed where she was sitting before Lydia started the argument. She is offended by Lydia’s uncouth remark.

  “I have come to realize my mistake in listening to your lead, Lydia, but that will no longer occur. I will not be the gossip for Hertfordshire. I will not tolerate their derision. It would be best if you change yourself for the better; otherwise, I cannot tolerate you either.” Kitty reveals her thoughts forthrightly; she cannot stay silent and continue on this road any longer. She does not want to end up like Lydia.

  “You see how they are all against me, Aunt?” Lydia blames everyone except herself.

  Jane comes to the door to face Lydia and declares, “Lydia, please stop. You are too much. You need to take a hold of yourself. You need to go think about things. Do not come to us when you are in such a state.”

  “So is Lizzy going to come out and yell at me too? Did you all listen to Lizzy to scold me?” Lydia cries out.

  Elizabeth silently walks up to the door with an indifferent expression. “Jane, I will be in Uncle’s study until the pesky, blabbering, idiotic noise is removed from our chambers. Aunt, can I talk with you for a few minutes, please?”

  “Certainly, Lizzy. I was coming to speak with you. Shall we go to my sitting room?” Mrs. Gardiner responds nicely.

  “Thank you, Aunt. I will follow you.” Elizabeth replies nicely without any acknowledgement to Lydia. Lydia is a pest now, thus she will be treated as such. Elizabeth washes her hands of Lydia; evidently, she cannot do anything more for Lydia. She is definitely not going to beg Lydia to become a better person.

  Sitting calmly with her Aunt, Elizabeth says, “Aunt, I am very sorry about all the ruckus my family and I have caused. You and Uncle have tolerated so much and Mama and Lydia do not even realize it. I just cannot talk to them anymore.”

  “Oh, Lizzy, do not think on this anymore. This should be a happy time for you. You will be marrying a wonderful gentleman tomorrow, and then you will live a most loving life together. In time, all this will be a silly memory that will not even register as an important part of your overall life. All this will go away in time.” Mrs. Gardiner pats Elizabeth’s hand tenderly. “Now, I wanted to ask you about something very personal.”

  “Yes, Aunt?” Elizabeth guesses that it will be about the marriage bed and being a wife.

  Mrs. Gardiner asks carefully, “Has your Mother talked to you about the marriage bed?” Mrs. Gardiner sees Elizabeth blushing profusely and becoming shy, now.

  “Umm…no, Aunt.” Elizabeth replies softly as she looks down at her hands.

  “Do you want me to explain a few things to you? I would be glad to talk to you about it so you will not have any misconceptions about it and be scared. If your Mother has already explained some of the things and you have questions then you can ask me. You can ask me anything, Lizzy.” Mrs. Gardiner volunteers kindheartedly.

  “Aunt, will you please explain it to me?” Elizabeth responds bashfully and quietly.

  Mrs. Gardiner explains that Elizabeth does not have to fear the love act or dislike it; it is all very natural. “Mr. Darcy loves you deeply; therefore, I am certain that he will guide you in everything. When the love act is performed by two people who love and care for one another then there is nothing to worry about. It can be pleasurable for the both of you once you are more aware of what will happen. I am certain that Mr. Darcy will not do anything to frighten you.” Mrs. Gardiner can see that Elizabeth is very bashful, but she wants to make sure that Elizabeth will not be fearful of the actual act, thus she briefly describes the act and what it entails. Elizabeth could hardly look at Mrs. Gardiner straight in her eyes, but Mrs. Gardiner knows that Elizabeth understands her explanations.

  Elizabeth listens to all the information that her Aunt imparts. She can only imagine it. She is glad that she is having this conversation with her Aunt because she cannot imagine that her Mother will be this thoughtful and understanding.

  “Thank you for explaining it to me, Aunt. I have heard Mama complain and say terrible things about it to other married ladies of our neighborhood. They all made it sound awful, but I always thought of how it could be true if two people love each other. How could such an intimate act be so horrible? It always left me wondering. What you have explained makes much more sense. I feel less worried that I will not be able to do things right and make it unpleasant for me and William.” Elizabeth blushes fully.

  CHAPTER 6

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  SATURDAY, JANUARY 31st – THE WEDDING DAY

  Elizabeth opens her eyes, and her first thought is obviously of William. Finally, it is her wedding day! She is ecstatic! She could not feel any better. The prospect of having the most loving, caring, responsible, understanding, generous, intelligent, gallant, handsome husband in the world is the best feeling EVER! She will be married to an amazing gentleman in seven hours. Her heart is overflowing with love; it beats wildly at this knowledge. She looks forward to bringing him joy for the rest of her life. She will show him and tell him of her devotion and love for him every day of her life. She wants to please him and love him in any way she can. She knows that he will show her his love, and he will be gentle with her; she is not afraid.

  Elizabeth’s love for him only rises as she remembers how gentle and caring he was when he first kissed her and touched her intimately. He made sure that she understood and was comfortable with what he wanted to do. He explained that she could tell him to stop any time she wanted, for any reason. He only cared that she was at ease and that she knew that he would never ignore her concerns. He said that he loved her so much that anything else he needed or desired from her pales in comparison to her trust and love for him. He would never risk losing them. That was the tenderest and the most loving thing she has ever heard in her life – other than his love declaration for her.

  How could she not love him with her entire being? She loves him so
immensely that she is giddy with excitement every time they see each other, but she is scared, even now, that something else might happen with her family to frighten William away. However, he has shown his determination to stand by her and to love her for whom she is. She could not love anyone more than him. He has become the most important aspect of her life; how can she survive without him now – she cannot.

  She wonders what William is doing at this exact moment. She cannot wait to see him at the altar. She wants to look her absolute best today. She wants him to gasp at her beauty – goodness, how vain she has become – her little heart giggles within. Elizabeth just wants to please William in every way – speaking of which she could not forget her Aunt’s explanation of the marriage bed last night. Elizabeth was happy and relieved to hear her Aunt’s explanations. She has always been more opened with her Aunt and sought her Aunt’s advice over her Mother’s because her Mother was not receptive of her. Therefore, she is glad that her Aunt continues to care for her in such a manner. She will have a responsible, caring woman to confide in.

  Mildred puts the last touches to Elizabeth’s hair as her Aunt, Jane, Mary, and Kitty are staring at her with delight. They have helped one another with their own hair and dressing so they have time to assist Elizabeth as needed. Afterwards, Mrs. Gardiner and Jane help Elizabeth into her wedding gown and her wedding jewels. They praise and gush at how beautiful she looks. They tease that William will not be able to see anyone else except her. They all stand behind Elizabeth as she gazes at herself in the looking glass with everything in place. She never thought she would own such a beautiful wedding gown. The gleaming clear and blue crystals adorning her gown give it a boost into elegance just as her diamond and sapphire wedding jewels elevate her to look sublime.