My Beginning With Mr. Darcy - Book Two

by Lauren King

  “You are very kind, Miss Bennet.”

  Jane looks down at her hands on her lap and then looks back up at Mr. Morgan. “I truly am very sorry for Mrs. Crawford. I never imagined…that she…cared for you to that extent.” Jane looks down at her hands again; she does not want Mr. Morgan to see her disappointment or for him to see how hard it is for her to communicate this. “In all honesty….I hope that you do not feel obligated to me to the point of ignoring your feelings for Mrs. Crawford. I will understand if you feel that you have made a mistake with our courtship.” Jane hears Mr. Morgan take a deep breath, so she slowly peeks up at him. He looks unhappy? Perhaps, she is correct in her assessment about him being obligated to her.

  Morgan sees Miss Bennet peering up at him; he cannot believe that she still thinks that he does not have true feelings for her and that he has romantic feelings for Mrs. Crawford. However, he understands her view because he did make a mess out of his prior assistance to Mrs. Crawford.

  Jane ploughs through her sentiments. “Please do not ever feel that you are trapped to honor your word to me. Not all courtships work out, and I do not want you to fear that you cannot withdraw or change your mind about our courtship. I will not…please do not fear that I will do anything so…I will not put you in this similar predicament. I am sorry for your dilemma; please do not worry about me and think things through carefully.” Jane wants Mr. Morgan to do what will be best for him. She honestly does not want him to regret his decision in the future; that will only be a detriment to their relationship.

  “Miss Bennet, I thank you for your understanding and your honesty. I do not mind telling you this again. I care for you very much, and I want you to know that. I think we have progressed pleasantly and comfortably the last couple of weeks. We understand each other more, and I care for you even more. I have shared more things with you than with any other young lady ever before. I wish for us to know each other even better.” Morgan persists as Miss Bennet continues to stare at her hands on her lap.

  “I do not care for Mrs. Crawford romantically; I will never care for her in that manner. I only want to care for you in that way.” Morgan boldly but gently tilts Miss Bennet’s chin upwards to gaze directly into her pretty blue eyes. “Miss Bennet, please be assured that I am in our courtship because I honestly and genuinely want to be in it with you. I do not feel trapped or obligated; that will be no good for either of us. Please, tell me that you understand and believe what I have proclaimed thus far.”

  Jane cannot look away from Mr. Morgan’s handsome face and ignore his heartfelt words. “You are…certain that you do not have any romantic feelings for Mrs. Crawford?”

  “Yes, I am definite. If I had any at all, then I would have pursued her already. You do not have to worry about Mrs. Crawford, at all. I mean what I say, and I say what I mean, Miss Bennet. Mrs. Crawford and I are nothing. We were only friends; now, we will not even be that much because she has gone too far.” Morgan asserts steadfastly.

  Jane senses Mr. Morgan’s sincerity. “Yes, I believe you.” Jane speaks softly and shyly. Mr. Morgan’s face is close to hers. This is the closest that they have ever been except for when he whispered something to her at his dinner party a couple of weeks ago.

  “Good, I also hope you care about me.” Morgan smiles lightly with anticipation for Miss Bennet’s reciprocated feelings.

  “I do.” Jane blushes as she tries to look away, but Mr. Morgan will not release her face; she does not wish for him to release her face. The feeling is exhilarating. My, my – how daring she has become. It feels very intimate and loving just like she has seen with Elizabeth and William. She has always admired how loving they are to one another, and she wishes for the same thing.

  “Good, I am very pleased. I hope you do not mind me being so forward as to touch your face, but I could not help it. I want to show you how serious I am about us and that I care for you immensely.”

  Jane gently shakes her head and says softly, “I do not mind, sir. I know you are a gentleman and would not trifle with my feelings.”

  “I want you to know that I do not do this lightly. You are the first with whom I have progressed to this point. I am glad for it because I want to experience it with you. You truly care for me, Miss Bennet?” Morgan expresses his sentiments confidently; his feelings are escalating, and he feels more than like for her. When he thought that their courtship was ending he felt miserable and wretched. He knew at that point that he wanted to progress into the future with Miss Bennet. He will settle this situation with Mrs. Crawford, and then ask for Miss Bennet’s hand in marriage.

  Jane blushes some more as she hears Mr. Morgan’s claims; she is very happy, indeed. “Yes, I truly…care for you. I…want the same with you.” Jane blushes even more for being so forward and forthright. She hopes that he is not repelled by it. She wants to be a little more daring and confident like Elizabeth; this amount of boldness is enough for her. Her voice is a whisper now. “I hope you are not offended by my candor, sir.” Jane casts her eyes down again. She really hopes that she did not overstep her confidence.

  “Certainly, I am not offended, Miss Bennet. I am very happy to hear your honest emotions.” Morgan’s hand releases Miss Bennet’s chin as his thumb rubs just under her lower lip; he truly wants to kiss her lips, but he dares not to go that far, at this time.

  Out in the garden, William tells Elizabeth everything that he and Mr. Morgan discussed in regards to Mrs. Crawford, and she concurs with Mr. Morgan’s decisions to sever all ties with Mrs. Crawford.

  “It would only bring difficulty for both people should they remain friendly, especially in light of what has happened. I was hesitant to tell Jane that earlier when she had asked for my opinion. I did not want to dampen her own liberal decision of agreeing to Mr. Morgan remaining friends with Mrs. Crawford even though it may only be public acknowledgments.” Elizabeth contemplates for another breath and then says, “Darling, I do have some sympathy for Mrs. Crawford’s position; no one should have to experience unrequited love. I can just imagine how terrible it would be if you did not love me in return. I do not think I would resort to what Mrs. Crawford has done, but I would be forever a changed woman if I loved you all those years and you felt nothing for me.”

  “Dearest, I do not want you to start thinking about such things. We are blissfully married. That is all I want to think about.” Darcy kisses her lips amorously to distract his wife from her scenarios that she takes upon herself.

  William finally releases their kiss so Elizabeth continues while she caresses his chest lovingly. “I know, darling; I am so blessed to have you. I am just very curious about such obsessive behavior that could lead to this type of devastation. The more I think on this problem, the more I do not understand how Mrs. Crawford could love Mr. Morgan to that extent. She has been married for seven years already so how can she simply go back to loving Mr. Morgan so ardently to this magnitude. That must be some extraordinary love.” Elizabeth slightly frowns because she is actually giving this true thought. “However, I can possibly imagine it – Romeo and Juliet come to mind. Perhaps her marriage was a marriage of convenience and she kept her feelings for Mr. Morgan buried all that time until her opportunity surfaced. I can imagine that I would love you for years after if we never advanced to matrimony. I can fathom that.” Elizabeth nods lightly as she looks contemplatively towards the sky. “I loved you so much at that point already; all I wanted was to protect yours and Georgiana’s reputation from Lydia’s shame. I would have kept my love for you in a special compartment in my heart hidden away if I had to go on with my life with or without a husband.”

  “Lizzy, I definitely do not want to hear that you might have married another man. That thought hurts my heart and my head.”

  Elizabeth instantly hugs William’s waist adoringly and tightly with both arms as she gazes up at his handsome, loving face. “I am sorry, darling; I do not mean to hurt your feelings. You know what I am trying to express.” Elizabeth sees that William nods hi
s head indulgently at her; he never stifles her thinking or discourages her.

  Darcy kisses her forehead, and then while hugging her to him, he looks at her so that she can continue her thoughts.

  “It is just that when I think of it that way then I can understand Mrs. Crawford’s viewpoint. I think it is a bit much for her to hurt herself, but it is explicable. As I have said, I would love you for years after if our own courtship did not work out because of Lydia’s shame. On the other hand, I can understand a maiden having naïve, devoted, loyal love for her first love, but Mrs. Crawford is no maiden. However, she did say she cared for Mr. Morgan before she married her late husband. It must have been hard for her to have wanted a relationship with him back then, but he did not even notice her. I am so very glad that I never had to be in the same position. It would have been miserable; I am positive.”

  “Are you done with your thoughts, dearest?” Darcy kisses her head dotingly.

  “Yes, thank you for indulging me, darling. I love you.” Elizabeth smiles affectionately at her amazing, handsome husband.

  “As I love you.” Darcy kisses her lips tenderly and then says, “I do not like to hear of such depressing thoughts about us, Lizzy.”

  “I know, darling. I will try not to indulge in such thoughts anymore.”

  Mrs. Lane gently clears her throat as she stands at one of the entrances to the garden to attain the Mistress’ attention. Darcy and Elizabeth release each other from their embrace. They are not embarrassed that their housekeeper has seen them in a tender embrace because they are not vulgar about it. It is purely a tender embrace between husband and wife who are loving, faithful, and devoted to each other.

  Different members of the staff have seen the Master kiss the Mistress’ hands and cheeks, talking quietly with their heads next to one another, giggling and playfully teasing each other, walking while holding hands, and sitting very close with one another while the Master’s arm is over the Mistress’ shoulder. They sense that the Master and Mistress are affectionate people who love one another deeply. The staff does not see anything wrong with their displays of affection although it is not common to see in high society. It is rather endearing to see. They are very happy for their Master to have found love in such a delightful, unpretentious young lady who seems fair and kind, too. Their Master is truly happy and content with his wife; he smiles and laughs much more than they have ever seen. She looks at him with love and admiration; it is displayed mutually and naturally between them. The staff only wishes that, some day, they will be able to experience a portion of the love that they see between their Master and Mistress.

  “Yes, Mrs. Lane?” Elizabeth acknowledges the housekeeper.

  “Pardon me, Mrs. Darcy, Mr. Darcy; I wanted to inform you that luncheon is ready to be served in the family dining room. Will that be to your liking, Madame?”

  “Yes, the family dining room is perfect; it will be only the four of us. We will be right in, Mrs. Lane.” Elizabeth says with confidence. She has always had a good rapport with Longbourn’s help, thus she is not afraid of being firm when needed but also kind when it calls for. She could not purposely be mean to anyone simply because she has some privileges over them; that is not the type of person she is. She feels that if you want to be treated fairly and nicely, then you should be the same way to others – simple. That is most logical and reasonable to her. One does not have to demean people or treat them badly in order to show them who is superior.

  “Certainly, Mrs. Darcy.” Mrs. Lane bows her had lightly in acknowledgement before leaving.

  “Shall we inform Jane and Mr. Morgan, darling?”

  “Yes, let us be loud enough so that they will hear us coming.” Darcy chuckles; and then he makes it a point to close the garden door slightly louder than normal.

  Elizabeth laughs at William’s suggestion as they walk back into the drawing room for Jane and Mr. Morgan.

  Morgan and Jane both hear the garden door close and Elizabeth’s laughter float into the drawing room, thus Morgan instantly stops touching Miss Bennet’s face, and he leans back on the sofa again. They both blush at the thought that Morgan could have been caught touching Jane’s face rather intimately.

  “Jane, Mr. Morgan, luncheon will be served in the family dining room.” Elizabeth announces cheerfully as she squeezes William’s hand; it feels very nice to be able to show some affection towards her husband, now, in front of her family. She can tell that both Jane and Mr. Morgan are blushing; she hopes that it is a good sign that their courtship is on course. She was worried that the revelation of Mrs. Crawford’s horrifying circumstance would be an impediment for Jane and Mr. Morgan to continue their courtship or prompt Jane to sacrifice it.

  “Thank you, Lizzy.” Jane responds pleasantly as she stands up; Morgan extends his arm to her; she readily accepts it. They follow the Darcys to the smaller dining room.

  The four have an enjoyable luncheon filled with happy stories about themselves. All that can be said about Mrs. Crawford’s situation has been said; they do not want it to dictate their other actions. Morgan will take a meeting with the Everetts and Mrs. Crawford once he knows that she has recovered from this ordeal. He will settle it once and for all.

  As Darcy and Elizabeth continue to enjoy their honeymoon, Elizabeth cannot imagine that there ever will be a time where she will not be with William. He will not have to attend to business far away over night, will he? She knocks on William’s study, and he bids her to enter.

  “You look lovely in that dress, Lizzy.” Darcy smiles handsomely at his beautiful wife; she is very becoming in anything she wears. She has a voluptuous figure with all the right curves that any man would desire; luckily, she is his wife.

  “Thank you, darling.” Elizabeth smiles widely as she pats the sides of her dress and advances into the study. “What are you doing?” Elizabeth misses him already. How was she able to function before without him in the same house? She giggles to herself as she walks to his chair where he is sitting. She instantaneously got used to his presence, and now she seeks him out to know wherever he is at all times. His companionship is so very comforting and addicting. She hopes that he will not think her a nuisance.

  “I will only answer these two business letters, and then I will be at your service completely. What are you doing?” Darcy asks pleasantly as he gazes at her walking towards him.

  “I just wanted to know what you were doing and if you needed my help. If you have some business to attend, then you should attend it.” Elizabeth sees three piles on his desk. “It looks like you have many correspondences here.”

  “Oh, many of these are invitations to dinners and intimate parties that are held before the season begins. That reminds me, Lizzy. I think I will take you to Mrs. Templeton’s again.”

  “Why, darling?”

  “I finally noticed that your clothes barely fill up a third of your closet. You need more clothing than that. We will order more gowns for you after I have written these two letters.”

  “Darling! I have plenty of dresses and gowns.” Elizabeth explains but she gets the feeling that she may not have enough if all these correspondences are any indication. Most definitely, she cannot wear the same dresses and gowns to the dinner parties, balls, and make morning calls. At some of these occasions there could be some of the same people in attendance. She cannot embarrass her husband by wearing the same gowns over and over.

  “I think you told me that you gave many of your dresses to your sisters, right?”

  “Darling, I only gave them my non-wedding trousseau clothes. What you see is my wedding trousseau. That is enough for me to wear for a long time.” She hates having to spend more of William’s money on herself, but she may have to in this situation.

  “It will not be enough, Lizzy. We will be obliged to accept some dinners and parties in Derbyshire from the neighbors when we get back there. I cannot hide my bride away even though I would like to keep you all to myself.” Darcy smiles cheerily. “You have to be introduced
into Derbyshire society because you are Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy.” Darcy announces proudly as he smiles handsomely. “We are one of the largest landowners in Derbyshire so it will be expected. Most of those neighbors are nice; you may even make some new friends, there. Then there will be the season here in April. We will come back for some of it, if you like. Aunt Helen says that we should be seen since we are newlyweds and we are prominent in the first circles. We have to keep up appearances for when Georgiana comes out next year; therefore, we cannot hide out this season. I will do much better this season because I will have you by my side.” Darcy grins attractively as he caresses her cheek warmly.

  “Well, I seem to be a good reason for you not to do quite a few things, there, my love.” Elizabeth giggles coyly as she hugs around his neck while he embraces her tightly around her waist with his face tilted up and resting on her bosom.

  Darcy can smell her rose scent on her bosom. He remains seated as she stands in between his legs; he hugs her amorously and buries his face into the middle of her firm yet soft valley. He breathes her in deeply before lifting his face and grinning mischievously. Darcy asks lightheartedly, “What do you mean, dearest?”

  She chuckles playfully while her hand runs through his hair. “You know exactly what I mean, darling.” She bends her head to kiss his head while he nips at her bosom. He is trying to push her dress’ neckline down with his mouth as he kisses her there. She giggles some more at his effort and then says, “You will not have to feel obligated to dance with anyone. You will not have to attend dinners and parties if you do not want. No one will try to catch your attention for their daughters anymore. The young ladies will have to stop paying you attention now that you are married although I think some ladies, young and old, will still discreetly look your way because you are simply too handsome to resist gazing at.” Elizabeth gently tilts his head back to ardently squeeze his cheeks with both of her hands as if one, lovingly and playfully, squeezes a baby’s face. “The list goes on, darling. I am your new shield now; your new reason for declining what you do not want to do.” Elizabeth laughs as she sits on his lap freely. She hugs his neck and kisses his cheek. “Am I correct?” She laughs delightedly.