My Beginning With Mr. Darcy - Book Two

by Lauren King

  “That was not so bad, and it did not take as long as I thought it would.” Darcy is smugly content with their outing.

  Elizabeth giggles before saying, “Darling, you practically agreed with all the designs that Mrs. Templeton showed you. Did you see how happy she was? She started to focus on your answer instead of mine!” Elizabeth laughs wholeheartedly and then hugs his waist. “You were not fussy or picky about anything.” Elizabeth chuckles again. She likes riding in their carriage alone with William so they can hug and kiss each other whenever they want. William has told her he enjoys it considerably.

  “Did you not like what I picked? We can go back and change the order. I thought you wanted my advice. Let us turn around, then.” Darcy rushes and is about to tap on the carriage ceiling but Elizabeth stops him.

  Elizabeth giggles as she holds William’s hand from stopping their carriage. “Darling, of course, I wanted your advice; I liked all your choices. I was only teasing you.” Elizabeth leans in to kiss his cheek affectionately. “Do you not remember that I have said that you have good taste? Everything you pick for me is pretty, darling – from gloves to clothes to jewelry.”

  Elizabeth grins widely at the remembrance of the gloves. That was when they had their first serious talk; he had apologized about accidentally making her feel as if he wanted her and Aunt Madeline to conclude their visit at Darcy House that day. He had looked at his pocket watch casually when she was talking to Georgiana and Richard; she had thought that he was hinting his desire for her to leave his house.

  Darcy smiles and then says, “Ahh…the gloves. I was so glad that you gave me a chance to explain the whole pocket-watch-incident; otherwise, you would have continued to misunderstand me.”

  “Not purposely, darling.” Elizabeth reminds William.

  “No, not purposely but it would have made our beginning much harder.” Darcy states logically.

  “I might have remained hurt and insisted that you had every right not to want me to overstay my welcome at Darcy House. I really think I would have withdrawn further from you to avoid what I thought was your disapprobation and dislike of me. I knew that you met my Mother in Hertfordshire already; hence, she would shape your opinion and set the stage for your dislike of every one of us. Consequently, I would not be to your liking if your reference point was my Mother. Did you know that I was thinking exactly that when we met for the first time?”

  “No, I did not.” Darcy caresses her hands and regards her with affection.

  “I thought that you had no interest in me after you experienced my Mother’s antics in Hertfordshire.”

  “You had no idea, whatsoever, that I liked you from our first introduction?” Darcy asks disbelievingly.

  “No, I did not because you did not spare me a word after our introduction and greeting. When we locked eyes, you looked uninterested and you did not even give the slightest smile or indication that you wanted to talk to me beyond the introduction. Accordingly, I did not want to bother you, especially when you were with those two young ladies. I thought that you were a suitor to one of them.”

  “Oh, God, Lizzy!” Darcy groans good-humoredly. “Me, courting one of those young ladies? Goodness gracious! That is not a good thought. Well, you know that I was not a suitor that day, right?”

  “Yes, I knew when you did not accompany them home with Mr. Bingley.” Elizabeth smiles with satisfaction. “You know I would have been very disappointed if I found out you were courting one of those young ladies because they were not…nice or genuine.” Elizabeth explains openly.

  “You are correct. I gathered that when they fussed over Georgie, yet outwardly ignored you and your Aunt. Moreover, they got angry over an innocent accident and then spoke very meanly to you. I even questioned myself as to how I let Bingley hook me into going for a walk with them.” Darcy and Elizabeth chuckle. “Alright enough of all that. I just want to think about my lovely, beautiful, comely wife who makes me happy beyond measure.”

  “My goodness, your wife sounds…” Elizabeth does not get to finish her sentence.

  “Remarkable – yes, she is. She is the love of my life; she is my life.” Darcy leans over to kiss her lips gently.

  Without a doubt, Elizabeth reciprocates the kiss while she reaches around the nape of William’s neck to gently pull him in closer to her. With her other hand she hugs his waist. She feels wanton for being so physically forward with William. She just wants to touch him; she knows that he likes her to show her desires for him.

  “Alright, back to what we were talking about before.” Elizabeth giggles lightly. “I was laughing because I could not believe how efficient we are at ordering that many dresses and it did not take longer. I would have taken much longer had I been with Jane or Aunt Madeline. Maybe it is a woman thing. We have to examine every lace design, every cut, every button, every ribbon, and everything else.” Elizabeth giggles some more. “I think I like going shopping with you, darling; we will not waste time.” Elizabeth caresses his cheeks tenderly. “Thank you for helping me today.” She smiles delightedly.

  Darcy cannot restrain his adoration for his wife so he kisses her delectable lips again and then smiles. “Well, I am glad I could help. All the designs I saw were pretty, and they looked like they would be pretty on you so when you also said you liked the design, I consented to them all. It was easy when I knew what you were inclined towards.”

  “You are spoiling me – going everywhere with me and buying everything for me. I know you are trying to make me so addicted to you that I will not be able to go anywhere without you. You know that could be bothersome and inconvenient for you, right, darling?”

  “How?” Darcy can tell that Elizabeth is joking with him again; he plays right along.

  “Well…if I am addicted to you, then I will want to be with you all the time and go everywhere with you. You will not have any time on your own to spend with your friends or go to your club for fun or even do any manly pursuits with your friends. I can imagine that there will be no room for any lady to even glance at you. Even if they did glimpse, they would be irritated that I was always with you and you were not free to…reciprocate.” As Darcy shakes his head in amused disbelief, Elizabeth grins but then digresses. “I wonder what you gentlemen do at your clubs anyways. I wonder what it looks like and what the atmosphere is like. I bet you all gossip just as much as women do. You just do not cry, nag, whine, or dwell on the gossip.” Elizabeth’s expression is of true wonderment and then she giggles. “Darling, are any women allowed in your club?”

  “My funny, over-thinking, lovely wife.” Darcy kisses her lips freely then says, “No, they do not allow any women in; no decent woman would spend time there anyways. As for you being with me everywhere…”

  Elizabeth interrupts William immediately. “Do you mean certain women are allowed, then?” Elizabeth’s face conveys pure curiosity.

  “Lizzy, what are you asking?” Darcy asks in a blithe and surprised but suspicious tone. Does she mean prostitutes? How does Elizabeth know about prostitutes?

  “I have heard that…some men have….mistresses or see courtesans.” Elizabeth states softly as she continues to caress William’s chest gently without looking at him; she is embarrassed after mentioning these types of women. She wonders if William has ever…she does not want to think about William with another woman doing what they do every night even though it was before they ever knew each other. She is surely going to push that image out of her head instantly.

  Darcy’s guess is correct. “What do those types of women have anything to do with what we are talking about, Lizzy?”

  “You said decent women would not spend time there which means that the indecent ones like mistresses and courtesans would, right?” Elizabeth recognizes that her thoughts are running wild with her, but she wants to know if those types of women are allowed in those men’s clubs since the men spend so much time there. “It would be logical, especially if gentlemen spend much time at these clubs.” She has heard her Mother go
ssip about mistresses and courtesans with the other ladies in Meryton. Elizabeth also knows not to trust what her Mother gossips about, but it cannot be all made up from nothing.

  Darcy is going to nip this curiosity in the bud; squash any potential problems. He does not want Elizabeth to ever be suspicious of his whereabouts or with whom he sees and associates; he would never do anything so repulsive to her. Under no circumstances will he shame their marriage by keeping a mistress or see courtesans.

  “Dearest, the rule is no women are allowed at the gentlemen’s clubs.”

  “And are the rules always followed?” Elizabeth asks cleverly and coyly.

  “I suppose. Dearest, there are places to meet those types of women, so I doubt that the men at the club would want their proclivities to be widely known by others so that it could be relayed back to their wives by accident or for revenge. By the way, from whom have you learned of mistresses and courtesans, may I ask?” Darcy asks lightheartedly so that he can lighten the mood and get away from Elizabeth asking further on this subject or asking about his own past experiences. He will not lie to her, but he does not want to have that conversation if he is not asked about it; it is in the past and it means nothing to him. Furthermore, he feels that Elizabeth may frown upon men who do entertain those types of women. He does not know if he could tolerate it if she thinks badly about him, even though they are married already. Maybe he should tell her about his experiences in general terms so that she does not wonder and niggle about it and possibly let it build up to something much greater than it really is.

  “I heard talk about it from my Mother; she was talking to some other matrons in Meryton at my Aunt Philip’s house.”

  “Lizzy, I know decent young ladies are sheltered from knowing those sorts of things so I will tell you, now that you are my wife. It is rather common for those men, bachelor or married who can afford it, to dabble in those…activities. The bachelor’s friends push him into it or he just wants to try it because he has the urge for it. Since he is not yet married then he will have to resort to bedding a servant or using a courtesan if he can afford it. The married men may take a mistress or see a courtesan. All men have the urge to experience…relations with a woman at one time or another. I do not think that it is terrible to have sexual urges; however, if a man chooses to satisfy his urges, then he should know the consequences, accept the consequences, and be responsible for them.” Darcy examines Elizabeth for her reaction to what he has said. He caresses her hands in his own. She is silent but does not seem upset. “Do you have any other questions or curiosities, sweetheart?”

  “Did you….umm…did all your friends do that…what I want to say is…oh, forget it.” Elizabeth wants to know the answer to the real question – did William keep a mistress or courtesan. However, she really does not want that information in her head. Perhaps, if she never knows the answer, then it will not hurt her, BUT she will always be curious, then. She knows that at almost eight and twenty years old she could not expect that William had no experience with intimate love, at all – could she?

  “Dearest?” Darcy gently tilts her chin sideways back to face him; she had started to look out the window on her side to avoid looking at him. “Lizzy, you must know that no one else means anything to me.” Elizabeth does not respond, thus Darcy continues, “Lizzy, answer me, please.”

  “I do know.” She replies ever so softly without looking at him.

  “Alright, then you must know that what I did in my past when I was younger has no meaning to me, now.” Darcy persuades his innocent wife with the absolute truth.

  “Did it have meaning to you back then?” Elizabeth asks quietly. She has to know; she might as well just get all the information, now.

  “It was just a natural human act to satisfy a young man’s needs at the time. It had no special meaning to me. It was just a biological act.” Darcy answers unceremoniously. He does not want her to over-think this subject.

  “You did not love her?” This is the ultimate question that she wants answered.

  “No, Lizzy; I told you that I have only ever loved you. You are my first love – my true love. I was young and experimenting at the time. If I had known that I would have you as my wife, I would never have satisfied myself that way. I would have waited for you.”

  Elizabeth is torn between being ignorant and not being hurt, as opposed to being knowledgeable and being hurt. Her curiosity wins and her mind tells her that it will shield her from the pain. “So…you only knew…one woman?”

  “Yes.”

  “You were engaged to her?” No, it cannot be, but he had relations with her. Oh, perhaps she was his mistress. “You do not have to tell me if you do not want. It is in your past long ago; therefore, I do not have any right to ask you.” Maybe she is prying now and William will not like it; these things had nothing to do with her. She should not make it difficult for him, but she cannot help feeling this jealousy and fear of losing him.

  “No, I was not engaged to her. You are the only one that I have ever courted or have been engaged to or have been married to. And Lizzy, you have every right to ask me anything; you are my wife. It is not that I want to hide anything from you, but I do not want you to give this part of my past any value because it is not important to me, at all. I do not want it to upset you because it means absolutely nothing to me. You are everything to me; no one else matters.” Darcy strokes her hands reassuringly. He hopes that once he explains, she will understand it and then forget about it so they can carry on as they have been.

  Elizabeth stays quiet. She should be happy with his answer, but she is not. She feels very possessive of him. To think that he was this intimate with another woman that loved him or that he loved her provokes her jealousy.

  Darcy sighs gently before explaining. “I saw her for two months during a summer when I came back from Oxford to stay in London with my Father and Georgie for the season. I was twenty years old; she was eight and twenty and married to an Army captain at the time. Their marriage was for convenience, and they ended up having affairs on the side. They did not have any children. I was her first affair. We met at a ball; she approached me and was very charming, sly, and persuasive. I was a young man who she knew how to talk to. I fell for her seduction.” Darcy closely observes Elizabeth’s reaction.

  “Oh.” Elizabeth expresses softly; she was not prepared for this revelation. This turns out to be an entire affair, not just dabbling with courtesans or the maids. Did he truly not love this woman, at all? Is he still in touch with her? Oh my goodness! Is she here in London, currently? How could he do those intimate acts with her and not feel anything? Maybe the feelings are different for men? Well, it is probably like what those people in marriages of convenience have to endure. Oh, she does not know; how could she; it is not as if she can speak to her Father or Uncle about it. Oh! Her Aunt, she will ask her Aunt Madeline; she will know. Should she just ask William so that there is no wondering and being suspicious of him?

  Their carriage arrives home, so their conversation ceases and Darcy leads Elizabeth inside. She is quieter than normal; she looks contemplative. He is certain that her head is spinning with all sorts of scenarios and worrying over them. He needs to have all of this out in the open or else it may hurt her or cause suspicion in their marriage. He will not stand for either of that to occur.

  Elizabeth wants to settle down a bit with all that she just heard from William so she tells him that she is going to rest in her chambers.

  “Dearest, are you upset?” Darcy asks carefully.

  “No, I am not upset. I just want to settle down a bit. I will join you later if you like or else I will see you at dinner. You do not have to worry about me, William; I am not upset – honestly.” Elizabeth squeezes his upper arm quickly as she gives him a small smile for assurance as she walks towards the staircase.

  Darcy swiftly holds her hands at the base of the stairs and they both stand there. “I do not want this conversation to develop into more than what it truly is,
Lizzy – it is nothing. I do not want it to upset you or hurt you. I do not want to hide anything from you; that is why I am telling you, but if it hurts you or our relationship, then it is a mistake for us to talk about it. That part of my past means absolutely nothing to me. You have to know that and believe it because it is the plain truth. I would never do anything to hurt you, deliberately. That was in my past – nothing more, sweetheart. I will never hurt you or disrespect you by allowing another person into my life in any way, whatsoever.” Darcy gently cups her cheeks with his hands and stares directly at her. “Now, I know you are very curious and sensible, so I will answer all your questions. However, please be aware that some times, knowing details may be more of a detriment than just knowing the generalities of a situation, especially because this is such a non relevant issue in regards to us. I love you with everything that I am. No one in the past or in the future matters to me. That is the absolute truth. Do you believe me? Do you trust me?”

  Elizabeth nods her head twice as she gazes at him lovingly.

  “Tell me, Lizzy.”

  “I believe you, and I trust you.” She says quietly.

  “Do you love me?”

  Elizabeth answers vehemently and without hesitation. “Of course, I do! I will always love you!” She does not want him to think that she loves him less because of his past. No, she is just a little jealous, is all. She is worried that he still harbors some kind of love or loyalty to this woman being that she was his first…relationship or encounter...experience. It would devastate her to know that.

  “As I love you and adore you, Lizzy. Never forget that.” Darcy kisses her lips tenderly and then guides her up to her bedroom chambers that they share nightly.

  Elizabeth and Darcy refresh themselves and then settle down on the sofa in her sitting room to continue their talk.