by Izzy Cullen
“What can I do?” I still didn’t understand.
“What if he starts using again?” “Wouldn’t he need something to use? I don’t think there is anything in the guesthouse. I’m sure Alex doesn’t keep crack or coke in there for his company.” It sounded bitchy when it came out, and I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. “Listen, I’ll head over, but what do I say to Alex?”
“Tell him I started my period.”
“That won’t work. I have a ton of shit in his bathroom.” He would know since he bought the store out of supplies.
“Tell him I only use certain ones, he will believe that.” It was true, she was high maintenance.
“Fine.” I hung up the phone, walked in, and threw on a sweater. I explained to Alex that Sam had an emergency and needed a certain type of tampon. He offered to take it, but I told him to keep the bed warm for me. I quickly threw on boots and a winter coat and headed over to Alex’s. I pulled up in front of the guesthouse, ran up to the door, and started knocking. Johnny didn’t come to the door. I called and it went straight to voicemail. My only option was to use my key. I hated doing this, because I felt like I was invading his privacy.
When I got into the house, the downstairs was dark. I knocked on the door leading to the upstairs. There was no response. I opened it and started up the stairs slowly. I called out for Johnny, but he didn’t answer me. When I got up there, I saw his silhouette on the couch in the dark. His hands were on his knees and his head was resting on his hands.
“Hey, are you okay?” I started over in his direction.
“Let me guess, Sam thought I would go on a binge?” Johnny questioned, sounding irritated.
“No, she was worried about you. I thought maybe we could talk.” When I got closer, I noticed the bottle of Jack on the table in front of him and the glass. I walked over and hit the light.
“I didn’t drink any yet.” He leaned back on the couch and rubbed his face with his hands.
“Are you planning to?” My voice wasn’t very pleasant.
“I’m honestly not sure. I’ve been staring at this glass for the last thirty minutes.” He picked it up and brought it to eye level to look at it. I wanted to grab it from him, but it didn’t look like he was going to take a drink. “A year ago, Christ, a month ago I would have downed the bottle by now.” He set the glass down. “I want it, I can practically taste it, but my promise to Alex keeps running through my head. I’ve lost everyone. I can’t lose the last of my family.” Johnny had tears running down his face and I saw the struggle he was having.
I walked over, took the bottle and glass, and dumped them both down the sink. “Where the hell did you get this?”
“Remember when I said I like the music making part, but tend to leave on the music creating? This is all part of the creating.” Johnny stood and turned to me. “That’s why I escape to your house.” I understood now. “Did Sam call you? Did she tell you her happy news?” He sounded hurt and pissed.
“She told me earlier tonight, but listen, you have to talk to her. She didn’t tell me, but I know she’s in love with you.” I walked over and stood in front of him. “I see the love you have for her and how she tries to hide her feelings for you. Please go talk to her.”
“Okay,” was all he said as he turned towards the stairs. “Abby.” He turned back. “For the record, I wasn’t going to drink that. I needed to see if I really had changed.” He turned and headed down the stairs.
When I finally got home, Alex had already fallen asleep. I curled up next to him, taking in his warmth, and was asleep pretty quick. I felt like I had just fallen asleep when the girls were standing next to the bed, asking to go downstairs to see if Santa came. I rolled over and looked at the clock, only to see that it was only five in the morning. I was not calling my parents that early to come down to see the girls open gifts.
Instead I talked them into crawling into bed with us. I listened to them talk about what they think they got. Alex was awake and joining in on the fun. I kept my eyes closed, wishing for more sleep. Finally, at six, the girls handed me my cell so I could call my parents. Alex disappeared to make coffee and tea. The girls asked if they could see the tree. I reluctantly rolled out of bed and followed them downstairs.
My sleepy mood changed when I saw their excitement about the gifts and tree. Lily read the note left by Santa and was amazed how he knew little things about them. Alex must have called Sam and Johnny too, because they arrived shortly after the girls started opening gifts.
Seeing their body language as they walked in together made me think that they talked and maybe, just maybe, a little more than talking happened. I was pulled away from looking at them by the girls. They were passing out gifts to everyone. I let the girls do some of their own picking out when it came to the gifts for everyone, and some of the gifts showed it.
At the end, Alex got up to hand out gifts. He handed my parents a large envelope, and inside was a vacation for two to Hilton Head so they could play golf. My mother was amazed and her eyes might have even gone misty. Sam opened her envelope and she didn’t fully get it. Alex had to explain how he deeded the LA house to her and it was now her house. Sam let Alex think she was really happy, but I could tell a lot of it was a show for him.
Next was my turn. I got a large envelope as well. When I opened it, I saw a letter from a man named Michael White. I skimmed through the letter and parts were popping out, but I was getting confused.
“Michael White was my literary agent. I sent him the chapters in your book you had completed and he loved them. He wants to shop your book around.” I was shocked, followed by slightly upset and excited. “I know you wanted to do this on your own, and you are, but I started reading it and know other people need to read this book.”
I didn’t say anything, probably because I still needed to process all of this and read the letter fully awake. I leaned over, kissed him, and thanked him.
Alex threw over a small box to Johnny. When Johnny opened it, he pulled out the contents. “What the hell? Those are my keys.” I didn’t understand.
“Yes, they are. He needs a car while he is here, so I am giving him your car.” I saw the smile on Johnny and the amusement on Sam’s. Alex then reached over, pulled out a key chain, and dangled a key in my face. “You can drive this while he has your vehicle.”
“No, you are not giving me a car for Christmas.” I shook my head. I was not taking an extravagant gift from him.
“Didn’t you tell the girls a little bit ago that they had to say thank you and accept all gifts even if they didn’t like them?” I shot him a dirty look. Using my parenting words against me was a dirty move.
Sam stood up and clapped. “Come look at it. I loved driving it over this morning.” Alex walked me to the front door and the girls ran to the side window to look at it. They were yelling and screaming in their excitement. I looked out and saw a Yukon Denali parked where Alex’s Jeep was usually parked. It was beautiful. I slipped on my boots and walked out to the vehicle, sliding into the driver’s seat. Alex slid in next to me. He took the key from my hand and started it. He was pointing out all the features. I wasn’t really listening. I was busy smelling the leather and new car smell. As much as I hated for him to buy it, I was already in love with it.
“It’s big enough so we can all go together and take company.” He leaned over and kissed me.
We went back in the house and the girls gave him his gifts. I had a picture album made with pictures I got from Sam as them as kids, along with some from when he and the band had just been starting out, and recent ones of the girls and us. I also took a few prints and blew them up on canvases for his office wall. My final gift was a bracelet I had made for him. It was black leather and had a medal plate with the words:
WHEN 2 HEARTS ARE MEANT TO BE, NO DISTANCE IS TOO FAR & NO TIME IS TOO LONG AM&AP
Alex placed it on his wrist, leaned in, and kissed me.
My parents stayed for breakfast, but I couldn’t help noticin
g how pale and worn out my dad looked. My mom said the cold he had was taking a lot of energy out of him. I told her that, with it being the holiday break, I would take care of the office stuff at the pub and help oversee things so he could stay home and rest. I would have the time with the girls leaving to spend a week with David’s parents and Alex returning to the studio with Paige.
We made it through Christmas dinner, and Alex was a huge help in the kitchen. I didn’t have my parents return until it was time to eat. Bruce came as always. I loved having him around. He was a second dad and another grandparent to the girls. He and Alex had started to bond over the last few months too.
When morning came, I was sad to lose the girls for the week, but they needed to spend time with David’s parents as often as they could. I took the girls halfway by myself. Derek was with his brother’s family, but he would be meeting me on the return trip with the girls. David’s parents met up with me and we had lunch. The girls were talking their ears off and telling them all about the excitement of Christmas morning. David’s parents seemed genuinely happy listening, even when a lot of it was filled with Alex, Johnny and Sam. They even came out and looked at my new Christmas present from Alex.
On my drive home, I called Lexi. I hadn’t talked to her much the past week. She had flown back down to her parents. She seemed happy and said she had decided to take another week off and stay there until after the New Year. I was slightly surprised. Usually a week was all she could handle of her parents. I informed her that I ran into our handsome police chief and he was asking about her. Lexi played it off, but I think the news excited her.
My call with Alex was fast and furious. He was getting things ready in the studio and trying to write different music to change the tempo of the last song. He was talking in music terms, and all I could do was say yep, okay, or sure. Nothing he was saying was making sense to me.
It wasn’t until I was an hour out of town that my mom called. Her voice sounded shaken, but she was trying to remain calm. “Abby, where are you?”
“I’m only an hour away. Is everything okay?” Her voice had me slightly alarmed.
“Your dad is fine, but the doctors think he had a mild heart attack.” I was doing my best to remain calm, but it was hard hearing this come out of her mouth. “The ambulance is transporting him to Memorial Glenn, and Bruce and I are heading there now. You should meet us there.” My mind was thinking so many different things, and I hadn’t responded to her request. “Abby, he will be fine. Your dad is a strong man. Now, are you going to meet us?”
“Yes, of course. I’m finding a place to turn around now.” My mom and I gave a quick good-bye and we were off the phone.
I got off at the next exit and changed directions to where I needed to go. I was only a few minutes away, but my head was spinning. It wasn’t until I pulled into a parking spot at the hospital that I felt the tears. My mind was going back to memories and then to the past few months. The guilt I felt, because I had brought on so much added stress the last year, and specially the last few months. I placed my head in my hands and sobbed. I needed him to be okay.
I went to the emergency room desk and the lady told me the ambulance was still a few minutes out. I needed to take a seat and wait. There was no way I could sit, so I paced back in forth in the lobby. When I saw the ambulance pull in, I went to the sliding doors. The EMTs were unloading him while a few nurses went out to meet him. I tried getting close to him as they wheeled him in, but one of the nurses pulled me back, asking me to give everyone room. It took my mom another ten minutes to show up. I wrapped my arms around her and tried not to cry. I knew this was just as hard on her as it was on me. Bruce had tried to get information, but nobody would talk to him since he wasn’t immediate family. My mom went to the counter, and that’s when I saw Alex. He was standing back, but now coming towards me. I broke down in his arms when I saw him. Alex held me tightly and told me everything would be fine.
The doctor finally came out and told us that he needed to go in and open a few blocked arteries. The doctor explained that the surgery would take a few hours, but there were minor risks involved, and he felt that there wouldn’t be any complications.
I told Alex to go back to the studio, because everyone had already arrived, but he wouldn’t. He told me they could use the rest and they would start the next day. I sat in the waiting room, holding my mother’s hand. I knew the doctor said my dad would be fine, but until I saw him I couldn’t help thinking the worst. I knew my dad had to sell the pub. I loved the pub, but having my dad around was more important than some bar.
The nurses came out and allowed us one at a time to go see my dad in recovery. My mom went first. My knees were bouncing like crazy. I couldn’t wait for my turn. When my mom came out, she had a smile on her face and I knew my dad was doing well. I quickly got up and followed the nurse back. When I saw my dad I walked over, grabbed his hand, leaned in, and gave him a kiss.
“Hey, daddy,” my voice was soft as I spoke to him.
“Bri, you didn’t need to be here.” I let out a small laugh.
“Well, it was either this or hang out at home in my pajamas. I thought this would be more fun.” My dad went to laugh, but grabbed his chest. He was still sore. “Listen, I’ve been thinking, and I agree that you need to sell the pub. As much as I love that place, I’ve decided I love you more.”
“I’m glad you love me more than a building.” He winked at me.
“The doctor said you can’t do anything for four to six weeks. No lifting, nothing.” I was giving him the eye. “I’ll take care of the closing and getting it listed. I’ll call Charlie tomorrow and tell him I’ll need a few weeks off to sort things out and help out there.” I knew my dad was going to oppose, but getting the pub ready to sell was kind of my closure, and I needed it. “Listen, get some rest and I’ll be back tomorrow to see you.” I kissed his forehead and left the room. I felt better when I left than when I got there. I knew my dad would be okay.
~18~
Alex drove us home. I was pretty quiet the whole way, trying to map out the next few weeks in my head. In a way I was thankful that the girls were in Pittsburgh. My mom needed to take care of my dad, and Alex had his own obligations and work to do. I knew my hands were going to be full the next few weeks with trying to close the pub.
I don’t really remember the night once we got back. I was just going through the motions and I don’t remember even crawling into bed. Alex didn’t bother me, but remained by my side in case I needed him. He did have coffee ready for me that morning when I woke up.
“Hey, I have to head over and get started, but if you need me, give me a call. I know you have a lot going on today.” He leaned in and kissed me. “Do you want me to stay and help?” His voice almost sounded worried, like I was going to take him up on the offer.
“No, I need to make some phone calls.” I sat up against the pillows and picked up my phone. I called my mother first to see how she was doing. She was getting ready so she could spend the day at the hospital with my dad. I told her I was contacting a real estate agent to get things moving on the pub. She seemed happy about that.
My next call was to Charlie. I explained what happened with my dad, but he had already heard. I shouldn’t be surprised since we lived in the small town. He was fine with me taking the next few weeks off and was very understanding. He had lost his dad a few years prior and was always a family man.
I got showered, dressed, and headed out the door. My first stop was the pub. When I went in, I walked around, looking at the pictures on the wall. My dad had filled the place with pictures of family and friends, and at times, everyone blended together because of the close relationships. I had a lot of great memories here, but knew the time it took to run it was time I couldn’t afford to give with the girls.
I ended up in the office at first. I started to go through the books and paperwork on the desk. The last few months my dad had lost almost all organizational skills. Some of the dates showed it was
around the time I stopped working. I knew he was getting overwhelmed, but I didn’t realize it was to this point.
I looked up when I heard the office door open. Johnny came in and sat in the chair next to the desk. “Hey, how are you holding up?”
“Good, my dad is doing well, and I was able to get a few weeks off from school.” I leaned back in the chair.
“With everything, Alex said you were selling the pub.” Johnny looked concerned.
“Honestly, it sucks. I love this place, but I need my dad around, too. I’d rather see this place go.” I looked up at the clock and noticed the time. “Shit, I have to meet with the realtor at his office.” I stood up.
“Can I take you to lunch after?” Johnny stood with me.
“I’d love that. I’ll send you a text when I’m done.” He walked out with me as I locked up. “You didn’t want to help at the studio today?”
“Nope, it’s the creating stage. It’s not the drinking, I can handle watching them drink. It’s the stupid shit they do and say that is irritating.” I wondered if Alex was one of them, but what he did at his job was not my business, even though the thought of it was slightly irritating. “Text me!” Johnny shouted over his shoulder as he climbed into my old car.
The meeting was very surreal. My dad had the bar completely paid off so everything was going to be pure profit, and with an attached liquor license, my parents would do very well for themselves once they sold. I didn’t realize how much an established liquor license was worth. I sent Johnny a text and then called my mother to fill her in on the meeting. She seemed very pleased and told me she would relay all the information to my dad once he was up from his nap.
Lunch was nice. I didn’t do a lot of talking, but Johnny filled me in on Christmas Eve with Sam after I left. It sounded like they did a lot of talking, and after she ended things with Brian she was going to give him a final chance. I was happy for them both, but hoping that neither of them screwed things up.