by Izzy Cullen
Alex called and texted a few times to check in with me, but he seemed busy on his end. Johnny came back to the pub with me to help. I put him to work with me sorting papers and getting the books squared away. If a buyer wanted to look at the books, there was no way I could show them receipts and check stubs.
I talked to Daryl and the girls about my dad and the fact we were selling. I told them that I would talk to any new buyers and put in excellent words of recommendation. They were heartbroken when I told them the doors would be closed for good in two weeks.
Johnny stayed until we closed. I was surprised Alex wasn’t there yet. I sent him a message before I got in the shower. There was no response when I got out. I crawled into bed and fell asleep, but was woken up by Alex stumbling in the bedroom. He plopped down on the bed and wrapped his arms around me. He stunk of booze and even pot. I pushed him off me. I was so pissed. I wished he had just stayed at his own house. It wasn’t until he tried to kiss me that I blew up.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I reached over and turned the lamp on. Alex looked slightly surprised, thought it was hard to tell with his eyes so slanted. “Did you drive over here?”
“Eric dropped me off.” He tilted his head. “What’s the problem?”
“The problem is you are drunk and stoned and came in here and woke me up from my sleep.” I stood up and grabbed my pillow. “I had a long day and just want to sleep.”
“I had a tough day too. We are making some great shit.” He reached over to grab my wrist, but I pulled it away. “The sounds we put out tonight are nothing like I’ve heard before.” I wanted to scream that I didn’t care, and the fact he was referring to himself and Paige as we had me pissed. He and I were a we, not Alex and Paige.
I slammed the door behind me as I walked into Lily’s room to sleep. I was so mad I couldn’t fall back asleep. I finally went downstairs, watched TV, and fell asleep on the couch.
I woke up early. I had so much on my mind that I walked quietly into my room and put on my running clothes. I hated morning runs, but I couldn’t sit still any longer. It was cold out. It helped me wake up. My mind was racing, but I couldn’t shut it off. I was so mad at Alex over last night. I wasn’t sure if it was the coming in trashed and high or the we statements he kept making.
When I rounded the corner to go back to the house, I was dreading walking in. I had zero energy to deal with Alex, but knew it was inevitable. When I walked in the house he was still quiet. I made a pot of coffee and waited for it to brew. I had a cup before I tackled the stairs. I didn’t even walk into the bedroom, but made a beeline to the bathroom. After my shower I dried my hair, put on my makeup, and wrapped my robe around myself. When I entered the room, Alex was still asleep on the bed. I wanted to throw something at him and wake his ass up, but I also didn’t want to deal with him. Instead I quietly got dressed and headed out for the day.
I drove to the hospital to see my dad. I couldn’t make it yesterday because I was too busy, but made time today to see him. When I walked in he already looked better. There was color back on his face and he was sitting up, eating a very bland looking breakfast. The nurse was checking his vitals and changing out his IV bag.
“You look better already,” I said when I walked into the room.
“Bri, they are trying to kill me. Look, look at this garbage they are trying to feed me.” He put his fork down. “How about a real breakfast of bacon, eggs, and sausage?” The nurse cut him off, reminding him that was the reason his arteries were clogged and how he ended up in here in the first place.
I laughed, because he was definitely feeling better. As soon as I sat down, he wanted to know about the meeting the day before with the real estate agent. He seemed happy with the figures I was given, and I told him the realtor thought it would sell quickly because of the established clientele and reputation. I stayed a few hours until my mom got there. I gave them both a kiss and headed out to the pub. It was a good hour drive back to town, so I called the girls, talked to David’s parents, and told them what had happened.
My next call was Derek. He told me he would drive the girls all the way up and stay a few days. I thanked him, because I could have figured out a way to meet him. I no longer had to worry about the girls getting home, which eliminated a little bit of the stress.
When I got to the pub Daryl was there, but Emily had called in and told Daryl she took a different job and needed to start right away. We were going to be short-staffed tonight. The only good thing was that, between Christmas and New Year’s, business was slow, and the two of us should be able to handle it.
I went into the office to change and saw my phone. Alex had left me a lot of messages and texts, but I didn’t take the time to listen or read them. I just needed time to cool off.
The pub was busy and, at times, overwhelming. When Johnny came in, I wanted to kiss him. He helped bus tables, set tables, grab beer from the cooler, basically anything we needed. Around eleven it finally slowed down, and we were able to catch our breath.
“Wow, this little place is a goldmine.” Johnny plopped down on a barstool. I stood at the end of the bar next to him. I didn’t respond, but Daryl was telling Johnny what a great business it was and how good the tips were.
A young guy sat a few stools down from Johnny. He was in his mid to late thirties, had sandy blond hair, and even under his business shirt you could make out the muscles. Daryl walked over to offer him a drink.
“I’m not here to drink. I’m looking for an Abrianna Porter,” the guy said. I looked over, wondering who he was, because nobody called me Abrianna. Well, my parents did when I was in trouble.
“Can I help you?” I walked behind the bar and stood in front of the man.
“I wish you could, but I’m looking for—” I cut him off.
“Abrianna Sullivan O’Hare Porter?” The man gave me a puzzled look.
“That’s me. What can I help you with?”
“Well, it’s my lucky night.” He leaned on his elbows and leaned in a bit to shout over the noise. “I’m Michael White, the literary agent who has been calling you for days.” I had been getting calls from an unknown number. I never answered those and he didn’t leave a voicemail, so I figured it was a telemarketer. “Can we sit some place and talk?”
I looked over at Johnny and asked if he could help Daryl for a little bit longer. I walked over to a table with Michael and sat down. “I’m not sure about all this. I have a lot going on and I had no idea Alex was even sending you the first part of the book.” I didn’t want this guy wasting his time.
“Normally I don’t chase people down, but I see money signs when I read your first few chapters.” I’m sure he saw money signs when he saw it was from Alex.
“I haven’t had the time to write recently and I don’t think I have time even to finish it anytime soon.” I was being honest. My time right now was pretty tight.
“I have great relationships with publishers, and this novel you are writing will get us into a bidding war. I only have the first ten chapters, but it is really good.” He was staring at me pretty intensely. “I am on my own personal time here, so you think I would have come trying to pitch to you if I didn’t think it was any good?” There was a small pause. “If someone doesn’t answer or return my first few calls I usually move on. Authors are a dime a dozen.” He waved Daryl over. “I guess I’ll take a Guinness. I have a feeling this is going to take a bit.”
I sat there and talked to him until it was time to clean up. In the beginning I was very reluctant to push forward with this book. I agreed to give him a chapter every week to two weeks if he would allow me to publish under a pen name. There were other negotiations like flying to New York to meet with his editor at his office and cleaning up a few things. When Michael left, I jumped up and hugged Daryl and Johnny. Alex walked in as I was hugging Johnny. His eyes were burning through both of us. I asked Daryl if he could manage the cleanup and I would come in early tomorrow to stock and finish. Johnny left and I had
Alex follow me to the office.
“Looks like I missed something.” Alex sat in the seat next to the desk and crossed his legs.
“You are an asshole,” I blurted out. Alex’s eyes widened like he was surprised. “You wake me up in the middle of the night drunk and stoned, and then you think you are going to walk in here, see something innocent, and make me feel bad.” I was pissed.
Alex cut me off by getting to his feet. “I fucked up. I normally don’t drink with them. I don’t even know why I did it.”
“I don’t care if you drink. I honestly don’t care if you smoke a little pot.” I stopped a second. “Actually, I do care if you smoke pot, but honestly, you were an asshole last night.”
“I was just excited. I was celebrating. We are doing things in the studio that are new, the sounds are amazing. I think we hit on something with this album.” There it was again, referring to them as we.
“I’m glad this album is coming along so well, but I can say how I’m unhappy with all the time it is eating up. When you first did this project, you said it wouldn’t cut into our time.” I walked over to him. “You have not come home some nights, missed dinners, the cutting of the Christmas tree.” Alex interrupted me.
“I knew you were pissed about the fucking Christmas tree.” His voice was starting to rise.
“No, I’m not, fucking listen to me.” I was irritated. I walked over to grab my purse and jacket. I no longer wanted to talk to him right now. “I was only trying to tell you I miss you.” Alex grabbed me by the arm.
“I miss you too.” He leaned in and kissed me. I hated fighting with him. It seemed like it was starting to happen more and more lately.
“Come home with me. I need some quality time.” I pulled him down for another kiss, this time adding intensity to it.
“I wish I could, but I promised Paige I’d help her finish a song she is trying to write.” I stepped away. I hated hearing her name lately. “I basically had to beg her to have time to come over and see you.”
With the thought of him asking her permission to come here to see me infuriated me. “Well, I’m so glad she allowed you to come here.” I put on my coat and went for the door.
“Wait, honestly, I have to get this done. Let’s plan on breakfast tomorrow morning.” He tilted my head up and kissed me on the nose.
“Fine, but dessert is at my house after.”
Alex wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in tight. “I like the sound of that.”
Daryl was already gone by the time we walked into the pub. I made sure everything was shut down and grabbed the moneybags. Alex walked me to my vehicle and kissed me again before I climbed in. “Do you think you could at least respond to me tomorrow now that you aren’t pissed at me anymore?”
“Maybe.” I shot him a smile as I shut the door. I watched him walk over to the Jeep and climb in before I pulled out of the driveway.
~19~
I actually had no trouble bouncing out of bed. I was excited to steal some time with Alex. When I was in the shower, I did extra grooming. I had been busy and was shocked at how much I had let myself go. After I dried off, I turned on my Bluetooth radio to my iPad and listened to one of my running playlists. I was in a good mood.
I sent Alex a text that I was on my way. I thought he would have come out the door when I pulled in, but he didn’t. I sent another text and even called, but he didn’t pick up. I decided to grab my keys and go get him. When I took the keys out of the ignition, I realized Alex left all my other keys on my car key chain that Johnny now has. I decided I would try the doors and hope he didn’t lock them.
The front door was locked, so I went over to the garage door. The door to get into the garage was open, but the one to the house was also locked. I was debating on pounding on the door, but decided to try the French doors to the living room. When I walked around the corner, I saw Paige in the kitchen. As I approached the doors, I was able to see fully into the kitchen.
My stomach sank to my feet. Paige was standing in an oversized t-shirt that was clearly a man’s. When she turned her back, I saw the AC/DC logo on it. I started walking backwards before I turned, jumping into the Yukon. I didn’t know what to do, so I drove over to Lexi’s house. When I pulled in, I remembered she wouldn’t be home for a few more days. I sat in her driveway thinking about what I saw, but the shirt looked so much like Alex’s. Why would she be wearing Alex’s shirt? I looked at my phone and he still hadn’t returned my text or call. I picked up my phone and sent him another text.
I stopped by the house, but clearly you were busy. Have fun at work today.
It was a snarky message, but I had initially wanted to write I hate you. I finally pulled out of Lexi’s driveway and decided to head to the pub to start packing, sorting and cleaning.
I walked in and started the cleanup I had Daryl leave the night before. I stocked the coolers, mopped the floors, and cleaned the bathrooms. I had my iPod plugged in and I was listening to angry chick music. The music and cleaning was therapeutic. I didn’t hear Alex come up behind me. When I turned and saw him, I wanted to throw the dirty rag at him, but instead walked past to put away the cleaning supplies.
“I’m sorry.” He was following behind me, but I wouldn’t turn and look at him.
“You seem to be saying that an awful lot lately.” I stored the supplies and yanked off the rubber gloves I had on.
“We were up late and I didn’t have my phone with me. I didn’t think to grab it when I went to bed last night.”
I turned and had my hands on my hips. “I’m sure you didn’t.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure why you’re so pissed at me for missing breakfast.” He seemed confused.
“Look, I have a lot to do here and you clearly have a lot to do there, so why don’t we just leave each other alone and get our work done?” I left the supply room and tried to walk past him. Alex grabbed my arm, but I yanked it free. “I’m sure you have stuff to do.”
“I do, but I’m not leaving you here pissed like this.”
“You don’t have much of a choice.” I walked away and headed for the basement to get boxes. Alex didn’t follow me down. I sat there for a second and took in a deep breath. I wanted to cry, but I wasn’t going to become an emotional wreck. I figured I deserved this. I allowed him into our lives too quickly. I knew what I was getting myself into and I kept thinking he was different.
I finally grabbed a box and headed back up the stairs. When I rounded the corner, I was taken a little off guard. Alex was still there, sitting on the bar stool off to the side.
“So are you going to tell me why you are so pissed or will I have to sit here all day?” I rolled my eyes and turned away.
“Sit there, but you will pay for your beers.” I grabbed the garage bags and headed towards the office.
I heard Alex hop off the stool as he started to follow me. I was trying to open the office door when he came around the corner. “What don’t you understand? I don’t want to talk to you. I really don’t feel like looking at you, so please leave me alone.”
“You are this upset with me for missing breakfast?”
I was so mad I couldn’t keep my cool. “No, I hate you for sleeping with Paige.”
Alex looked at me shocked. “What? I didn’t sleep with Paige.” He looked amused.
“Really? She was in your kitchen this morning with only your t-shirt on.” I finally got the door unlocked. I pushed the office door open and went inside.
“Really? Well, for your information, I slept on the couch in the studio last night.” I turned quickly to look at him. “I’m glad you trust me.” He turned and walked out the door.
I was out the door behind him. “What was I supposed to think?” I quickly got in front of him and stopped him.
“I don’t care what you think something looks like, the bottom line is that you don’t trust me.” I could see the hurt in his eyes.
“I don’t,” I said it before even thinking. I surprised myself as
much as I surprised him. “Alex…” I didn’t know what to say, and there wasn’t anything I could say to fix the situation. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He was out the door before I could say anything else or stop him. I leaned up against the wall and sank down to the ground. I screwed up again, but what was I supposed to think when I saw that this morning?
I finally got the energy to get up and head into the office. I started boxing some of the personal belongings and trashing the junk that had started to accumulate over the years. My dad was a sentimental hoarder. He could tell you each event that went with what he kept.
When Daryl got in, he popped into the office. I told him to get me when it got busy. It didn’t take long for him to show back up. Luckily we still had Linda, but she and Daryl were running like crazy. I was trying to clear plates, refill drinks, set new tables. The three of us were barely keeping up. Finally, at nine, the dinner crowd stopped and the local drinking crowd stayed. It was easier for the two to keep up, and I slipped away to the office to call and check on the girls. I was so consumed with everything here that I forgot to call and check in every day. I talked to David’s mother and was able to talk to Lily, but the twins were already in bed asleep. She told me that Alex had called them on Face Time earlier in the day. I was a little surprised, but happy to know he was still thinking of them.
I was going through more stuff when I heard the office door open. I was expecting Daryl, but instead I saw Michael. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, good evening to you, too.” He was dressed more casually with a pair of worn jeans and a vintage t-shirt. “I came to have a drink and hoped to have a talk with you.”
“I thought you were leaving since this was on your own personal time.” I stopped placing things in the box and leaned back on the desk.
“See, that’s the good thing about being your own boss.” He slid into a chair that I had moved to the center of the room. “I brought over a contract. Basically, it’s everything we talked about last night, but I’d still have your attorney go over it for you.”