The Perfect Christian

by E. N. Joy

  “Get thee behind me, Satan,” Doreen sang loudly toward the silhouette coming up beside her.

  “Oh, it’s like that?” Willie chuckled as Doreen kept on walking as if he wasn’t even there. Ordinarily, his ego would have been bruised, but for the first time since he could remember, his mind was fixed on something besides himself. It was fixed on that pretty young thing named Doreen Hamilton.

  Upon his return to the porch after being completely ignored by Doreen, Willie would learn from one of the fellas that Doreen was the daughter of a preacher who ran his own church. Next he was told that he didn’t have a chance in hell, literally, to get with her. Plenty guys had tried, but that Doreen had only given two other men the time of day in her life: her preacher man daddy and God.

  Words meant to discourage Willie only ignited the desire in him to hook up with Doreen. So that following Sunday when he showed up at her daddy’s church just as dapper as could be, Willie was only looking for one thing. Trust and believe that one thing wasn’t Jesus.

  To this day, Mother Doreen had no idea that the same fella that wooed her that Sunday morning in church was the same fella she’d shot down on her way home one dark evening. It was a good thing for Willie she hadn’t paid him enough never-mind to recognize him as the drinking and cursing hoodlum she’d basically referred to as Satan. This allowed him to make what Doreen thought was his first impression in a different light; actually, in the light.

  Knowing exactly what he was working with, a preacher’s kid, Willie upped his game and put on his charm to the tenth power. It was that same charm that had enabled him to get in the skirts of many a gal. Truth be told, though, ever since he’d set his sights on Doreen, no other woman had occupied his thoughts. He never even gave another woman the time of day. He was too busy planning and plotting on how to get with Doreen. What started out as a challenge for Willie turned into love. All his boys even teased him about going soft. Willie never let the peer pressure get to him, as six months later, he stood in Doreen’s daddy’s church prepared to make her his wife.

  Good thing for Willie that Doreen never let peer pressure get to her either; otherwise, Willie would have long been kicked to the curb. Instead, though, Doreen was standing in front of a full-length mirror in the church bathroom wearing an all-white gown—rightfully so considering she was a virgin—about to become Mrs. William Tucker.

  “The oldest of all four girls, what kind of example do you think you’re setting for your sisters?” Once again, Doreen’s mother had posed the question. This time, she held her newborn daughter in one arm and touched up her eldest daughter’s hair with her free hand.

  “Oh, Mama, you’ve been saying that since I started seeing William six months ago,” Doreen had replied to her mother. “Can’t you just let me be on my wedding day?” Mrs. Hamilton cast her eyes downward as she held back tears. Doreen turned to face her mother, touching her shoulders. “Mama, those betta be tears of joy.”

  Not wanting to cast a black cloud on her daughter’s wedding, Mrs. Hamilton perked up and both forced and allowed a small smile to slightly split her lips.

  “That’s more like it, Mama.” Doreen pulled her mother in for a hug as close as she could without smashing her new baby sister, Bethany. Doreen pulled away, and then looked down at the baby. While rubbing the baby’s cheeks with her index finger she said to her mother, “And, Mama, whether you want to believe it or not, I’m setting a mighty fine example for my little sisters. I mean, I’m not out here gallivanting around, sleeping with all kinds of menses. I saved myself for my husband, Mama. I’m getting married. What better example can I set for the girls?”

  Mrs. Hamilton thought about it for a minute. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She then shook her head. “But William Tucker? Of all the menfolk out there you could’a married, you chose him.” She closed her eyes, sighed, then opened them again. “But I reckon I don’t know much about him—only what I’ve heard on the streets. But I know his daddy and his momma. I went to school with his daddy, and if he’s anything like his daddy was back when he was his age . . .” Once again, Mrs. Hamilton shook her head while closing her eyes. After exhaling, she opened her eyes, stared at her daughter, and continued talking. “Oh, child, if William is anything close to being like his daddy . . .” she placed her hand on Doreen’s cheek, “I’m going to pray for you.”

  Doreen smiled at her mother. “Oh, Ma, well, even if he ain’t like his daddy, pray for me anyway, all right?” Doreen requested, still smiling. “All right?”

  All her mother could do was nod while she held back tears. At that moment, her spirit confirmed in her that Willie would be nothing like his daddy. He would be ten times worse.

  Chapter Eight

  “Willie, who is that lady?” Doreen could barely contain her Christianity right about now.

  This had been the second night this week where Doreen looked at the clock. It was after midnight, and yet, the spot next to her in the bed was empty. Having been married to Willie for not even a good six months, surely he wasn’t tired of her already. Surely he wasn’t the cheating, drinking, lying, gambling man that her mother had warned her he was. She’d pulled herself out of the bed to go hunt Willie down and see for herself.

  Considering that he was sitting up in his parents’ drinking establishment with a beer bottle in one hand and four empty ones in front of him on the table proved he was definitely a drinking man. The fact that he had playing cards in his other hand and a pile of money sitting in the middle of the table proved he was a gambling man. That heifer sitting on his lap proved that he was a cheating man. The words that came out of his mouth next confirmed that he was a lying man.

  “What lady?” Willie answered his dumbfounded wife. “I don’t see no lady.” He threw out a card and focused on the game as if Doreen wasn’t even standing there.

  “Don’t you dare try to play me like a fool—like I’m dumb and blind or something,” Doreen spat. “I’m talking about that woman sitting right there on your lap.” Doreen pointed at the thick, long-legged, barely wearing any clothing woman that sat on Willie’s lap like he was Santa and she was telling him what she wanted for Christmas. Whatever it was must have been a secret, because she’d been whispering in Willie’s ear when Doreen first spotted them.

  “Oh, her right here?” He took a swig of his beer, and then set it down on the table. “This ain’t no lady. This is Agnes.”

  The other three men sitting at the table chuckled. Agnes gave Willie a playful punch and chuckled right along with the fellas.

  Doreen looked Agnes up and down, rolling her eyes along the way. “I might have to agree with you on that one—that this is no lady. Because a lady wouldn’t be settled on the lap of another woman’s husband. Only a whore would be doing that.”

  Agnes jumped off Willie’s lap and made a move toward Doreen, but Willie grabbed her arm. He never said a word to Agnes, just gave her a look. It was a look that only allowed Agnes to roll her eyes at Doreen sharply and walk away.

  “What the heck is going on here, Willie?” Doreen asked. “Is this why when I wake up in the middle of night I’m alone in my bed? ’Cause you’re down here at your parents’ place with other women?” She looked down at the pile of money on the table. “And is this why the lights was off last month? Because you gambled the electric bill money away?”

  “Now, woman, you betta go ’head with all that.” Willie didn’t give Doreen the look. He gave it to the cards in his hands instead, but she knew it was for her. She knew that look meant for her to walk away just as Agnes had.

  “All right, I will go on, but only with my husband in tow,” Doreen agreed.

  “Look, I just got a couple more hands to play; then I’ll see you at home.”

  “Fine,” Doreen said, turning away. She didn’t go far though, only far enough to grab a chair, pull it up, and plant herself next to Willie.

  The men at the table looked at Willie as if to ask, “You ain’t got yo’ woman in check yet?”

/>   “I meant for you to go ahead home without me,” Willie explained to Doreen, throwing out a card. “I’ll see you when I get done playing out this game.”

  Doreen let out a harrumph. “Do you think I’m gon’ head back home while my husband hangs around so he can be in the likes of another woman’s company?” Doreen rolled her eyes. “Puhleeze.” She then looked at the man who was sitting at the table directly across from her and Willie. “It’s on you,” she told him, informing him that it was his turn to play his hand.

  “If you’re here babysitting me because you think me and ol’ Agnes there got something going on, then you’re losing sleep for nothing. She’s just a friend of the family is all. Been waitressing here since my parents opened the place. She’s like family. A little sister almost.”

  The men did all they could to keep from laughing, but a small chuckle escaped from one of their mouths. Willie smirked at him as if to say, “I’m the man.” He turned his attention to Doreen, finally looking his wife in the eyes. “I’m sorry if Agnes made you feel uncomfortable. She don’t mean no harm.”

  Doreen stared at Willie for a moment. “If you think you married some dumb little church girl who’s going to let you do whatever you want, and then come back with some jive ‘I’m sorry,’ and everything is going to be okay, then you’ve got another think coming. You married a saint, but you didn’t marry Jesus.” Doreen stood. “Fellas, it’s been real,” she said to the other men at the card table. “William, your wife is ret-ta-go.”

  One man sank down in his seat, embarrassed for Willie for being checked by his wife in front of his boys. Another man let out a whistling air and tried to pretend he just hadn’t witnessed Doreen take authority of the situation.

  “Guess she told you,” the other man mumbled under his breath while picking at his cards.

  Willie’s light brown skin turned as red as a beet. Through gritted teeth he said to Doreen, “Like I said, I’ma finish this game, so you head on home and I’ll meet you there.” He turned his attention back to the card game. “Hopefully with all these fools’ money.”

  That fired the men up as they all focused back on their game. Doreen stood there feeling defeated, but not willing to give up. “If I go home by myself tonight, then that’s how it’s gon’ be.”

  Willie paused before saying, “Then that’s how it’s gon’ be.” He’d only said that because his boys were there. The last thing he wanted to do was to lose a showdown with his wife in front of them. It would set an awful pattern for some of the other womenfolk. Willie was the smoothest player in town. If other men’s wives got wind of how Doreen set him straight, they might get the same idea about pulling the same stunt with their own husbands. And heck, those husbands were who kept his parents’ place in business. He couldn’t allow all that to happen now, could he?

  Although Willie stopped going to church regularly a little while after he and Doreen got married, he recalled a similar Bible story. Now he knew firsthand how King Ahasuerus felt when he had to kick Queen Vashti to the curb and get with Esther.

  God knew how much Willie loved Doreen and how he’d rather lose a leg than lose her as his wife. He loved her as much as any man could truly love a woman. But he was loving his wife the same way he’d witnessed his daddy love his mama over the years. He’d witness his daddy sit up under all types of women in their spot, right while his mother wiped down all the tables. He’d dared her to speak on it, so she rarely did unless she’d had a few too many drinks. So this type of behavior and treatment was all Willie knew. It was like it was in his system—in his DNA. It was a curse, one that only prayer and deliverance could break off of him. Thank God he’d married a praying woman indeed. There was nothing like the power of a praying wife. But as Willie watched the back of Doreen exit through the doors, all he could do was pray that after all was said and done, he’d still have a wife.

  Chapter Nine

  “Baby, can you just come back home? I . . . I need you, girl. I love you. Please come back home.” Those weren’t the words Willie had rehearsed on his way over to Doreen’s parents’ house, but those were the only words that managed to roll off his tongue now that he stood on their doorstep. He’d planned on showing up at her parents’ doorstep and laying down the law, demanding Doreen to come home. But what he was doing now sounded a lot more like begging and pleading.

  It had been two nights since the couple’s falling out at the juke joint, and Willie swore he couldn’t stand another day being apart from Doreen. He’d held out the past two nights from even calling her, holding on to the idea that she’d realize she couldn’t stand to be without him and make her way home. That hadn’t been the case, however. Ever since coming home that night after their argument and finding her and her bags gone, Willie hadn’t even been able to think straight. The funny thing was, all the times when Doreen had been waiting for him to come home, he’d been in no rush getting there, stopping off to do whatever it was that he wanted to do. Sometimes he wouldn’t even stop in from work first just to say hello. Now that Doreen wasn’t there waiting for him, lo and behold, there he’d been sitting in his favorite chair staring at the television box. It was a scene on television that had prompted him to get out of that chair, grab his britches and his pride, and go get his wife.

  In the movie, the leading male had pretty much taken his wife for granted, with her ultimately leaving him for another man. Willie gritted his teeth at just the thought of it. Thinking maybe that movie was some kind of sign—that God was trying to tell him something—he wasted no time going to the only place where he knew Doreen would be.

  “You need me? You love me?” Doreen repeated Willie’s words through the screen door as she stood inside the house. “Humph; word around town is that you be saying those same exact words to Agnes.” Doreen stood in the doorway of her parents’ home with folded arms.

  “Who been telling you those lies?” Willie asked. “Because that’s exactly what they are—lies. I ain’t been telling no other woman I love them, because you are the only woman I love.” He touched Doreen’s cheek that was steaming red with anger. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. That’s why I just had to have you, girl. You are the only woman I’ve ever thought twice about making my wife. I never imagined in a million years I’d be the settling-down type.”

  “And from the looks of things, you’re still not.” Doreen’s mother had heard enough. She’d been standing behind the half-open door, off to the side listening to Willie and Doreen’s conversation. Now it was time she participated in the conversation and add her two cents.

  “Good evening, Mrs. Hamilton,” Willie greeted his mother-in-law.

  “It was.” Mrs. Hamilton cut her eyes at Willie, and then looked at her daughter who gave her a knowing look. She then turned back to Willie and gave a forced smile. “I’m sorry. I suppose that wasn’t the Christian thing to say. Besides, it ain’t none of my business nohow. Doreen here picked you, so she’s the one who has got to deal with you. Since she married you in the house of the Lord and in God’s name, that makes you my son-in-law. So, I’m thinking that means I have to deal with you too.” She gave Willie the once-over. “So you gonna stand outside on my porch forever or are you gonna come in for supper, and then take your wife home?”

  Willie tried not to smile, but one crept out anyway. Still, it wasn’t as hard as he wanted to smile. “Uh, yes, ma’am. I will. I am.” He put his hand on the screen door and took a step toward the entrance of the house. He halted his steps when he saw the not-so-welcoming look on Doreen’s face. “I mean, yes, I will, that is, if Doreen will have me still.”

  All eyes turned to Doreen now in anticipation of her response. She looked at her mother as if she held the answer.

  “I don’t know what you are looking at me for,” Mrs. Hamilton said. “Like I said, you picked him. God hates divorce, and I don’t think He’s too fond of separation either. Separation is like a crack for Satan to seep into and do his dirty work.”

  Knowing da
rn well that she loved Willie’s dirty drawers and wanted nothing more than to skip dinner and get home with her man, Doreen still played it cool. She didn’t want Willie to think he could get away with this type of behavior without any repercussion; with her just falling right back into his arms as if nothing had happened. So, after a brief pause, she sighed and relaxed her shoulders. This made Willie think she was game for the reconciliation, so he took another step into the house.

  “I’ll think about it,” Doreen finally answered. On that note, she pushed Willie back outside and slammed the door in his face. Then she walked over to the window and watched him make a slow, dreadful trek back to his car, and then drive off home—without her. All Doreen could do was turn around and fall into her mother’s arms. “Oh, Mama, I love him so much, but I don’t know if I can do this. Marriage is forever. Can I really do this forever?”

  “Look here, baby girl.” Mrs. Hamilton separated herself from Doreen and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Willie is the same man today that he was when you married him some months ago. As much as you tried to act like you didn’t, you knew exactly what kind of man you were marrying, so you have no right to complain about it now. Now all you can do is deal with him. Don’t try to change him, because it ain’t gonna work. Only God can change a person, and He can’t even do it if that person won’t receive it—if that person doesn’t want to be changed.”

  Doreen felt hopeless. “Well, can I at least ask God to change him?”

  “Sure, you can, but I have a better idea.”

  Doreen’s eyes lit up. “What is it?”

  “Ask God to change you and how you deal with ol’ Willie, because trust me, dear, things are not about to get better any time soon. And I’m not trying to say all this just to scare you, but Doreen, baby, when you take up with the devil, you are bound to go through hell.”