Dark Heart Surrender

by Lee Monroe

  ‘Never.’ His eyes travelled up and down my body and we shared a moment of mutual desire. We’d been having a lot of those moments lately. It was getting almost awkward. I smoothed down my dress with my hands, not wanting to meet his eyes all of a sudden. We had never done more than touch and kiss each other, but it was getting harder to ignore the impulses that happened when we were alone. We both wanted it, but it couldn’t happen. Not in this house. And there was a part of me that felt scared that if we finally did it, then some magic would disappear. Everything was so perfect between us. I didn’t want anything to spoil that.

  It was the end of a long week at college, and we should have been looking forward to the freedom of the weekend. No work for Luca, no studies for me. Instead we were heading out on a Friday night for a double date. Neither of us looking forward to it.

  I slipped on some flat ballet pumps and settled myself next to Luca on the bed. Luca had refused to dress up too smartly but had compromised on a shirt, dark-blue jeans and his black-and-white trainers. To say he looked gorgeous in his white shirt was an understatement. I never got tired of looking at his beautiful, slender face or his graceful but strong hands. The past few weeks had seen his chest grow more muscular too. Not some cheesy six-pack, but broader, more like a man’s.

  ‘You look lovely too, you know,’ I told him, slipping my arm through his and stroking his hand. ‘In a manly kind of way, obviously.’

  He put his arm around me and at his touch I felt all tension slip away.

  ‘I don’t want to go either,’ I said softly, resting my head on his shoulder. ‘But we should think of this as karma. Doing something selfless for somebody else. Maybe it means that we’ll finally be left alone to do what we want.’

  ‘You mean no pesky vampires, or meddling wolves getting in the way?’ Luca said. ‘I hope you’re right, and that whatever “karma” is, it works.’

  I forced myself to look at the clock on the wall above my door. ‘We’d better get going.’ I sighed. ‘I said we’d meet them in the diner at eight.’

  ‘So, this kid – he’s the one that girl Polly tried to set you up with?’

  ‘Her brother, yeah.’ I looked sideways at him. ‘He’s probably a bit strange, like she is.’

  ‘So you arranged a date with a friend of yours without knowing anything about this guy?’ Luca frowned. ‘I would never—’

  ‘Yes, well,’ I said, irritated. ‘We’ll be there, won’t we? If there’s anything funny about him, we’ll be there to protect Ashley.’ I knew he was right. I should never have given in to pressure from Polly. But then Luca didn’t know Polly and how persuasive she was. Or rather, how intense and intimidating.

  Luca could see I was riled and, typically, he wanted to correct that. He squeezed my hand. ‘I’m sure it will be fine.’ He let go and stood up, tucking in his shirt. ‘I will want to stay till the end, though. I think we should see her home.’

  ‘I don’t think that’s necessary,’ I began. ‘He’ll be harmless.’

  Luca gave me a long, careful look. ‘I’ll be the judge of that.’ He was smiling but he meant it. I didn’t know whether to find that reassuring or unnerving.

  It seemed I could take the boy out of Nissilum, but maybe I couldn’t take Nissilum out of the boy.

  Through the windows of the diner I spotted Ashley waiting in a booth. She looked pretty, but nervous, fiddling with her clutch bag. I saw her take out her phone and place it in front of her on the table. Then she adjusted her top – a black off-the-shoulder slinky thing. Her blonde hair hung in loose ringlets in a side ponytail. She looked sexy, but vulnerable too.

  I caught hold of Luca’s hand. ‘I hope he’s nice,’ I said. ‘Ashley looks terrified.’

  Luca peered through the window too and frowned. ‘He’s late. It doesn’t bode well.’

  But as he spoke, the sound of heavy footsteps made us both turn. A boy – tall and broad-shouldered – was heading straight for us. As the street light hit him, I saw his striking dark-red hair and marble-toned complexion.

  He eyed us, a flicker of recognition in his expression.

  ‘Jane and Luca?’ he said, holding out his hand and taking mine. ‘I’m sorry I’m late. I’m Ade.’ He smiled, a devastating smile. Boyish, cheeky. Not a hint of anything dangerous about him. He glanced through the window and spotted Ashley. ‘Oh dear.’ He turned back to us. ‘I’m already in trouble.’

  ‘Let’s go in,’ said Luca firmly, apparently not yet taken in by Ade’s friendliness. ‘We don’t want to keep a lady waiting, do we?’

  I saw, just for a moment, Ade’s friendly expression evaporate and the look he gave Luca was sharp and threatening. I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear a low, defensive growl come out of his mouth. But, catching my eye, Ade smiled contritely.

  ‘I walked from home,’ he said. ‘My car is being serviced and the buses around here, they’re infrequent to say the least.’

  I felt relieved. If he’d walked, then he wouldn’t be taking Ashley home. I was beginning to feel like a concerned parent, which I had to shake off before I spoiled the evening with my own nerves. I didn’t know why I felt so responsible, or so anxious, or why Ade’s physical presence made me a little jumpy.

  If Ashley had looked nervous waiting, then at the sight of all three of us coming towards her, she looked positively scared. Her eyes were fixed on Ade.

  ‘Ashley.’ He bent to kiss her cheek. ‘I’m so sorry I’m late.’ He stood back to look at her. ‘Wow. When Polly said you were attractive, I didn’t realize she meant stunning.’

  While Ashley blushed, shuffling down the banquette to make room for him, Luca and I exchanged a look. Luca’s was full of mistrust. I frowned, trying to send him the psychic signal to keep his thoughts to himself, but he had already made up his mind about this stranger, that was obvious.

  ‘So,’ I asked, watching Ashley powder her face. ‘What do you think?’

  Ashley had seemed overawed for the last hour, watching Ade’s every facial move, looking stunned. She’d hardly said a word, as Ade did all the talking. I had to admit he was impressive. Started training to be an electrician when he was sixteen, working hard and saving his money, he seemed to be the man of the household. He talked a lot about Polly fondly, explaining that her abrasive nature took a little getting used to, but that she was a sweetheart underneath. He hardly mentioned his parents. So when Ashley finally contributed to the conversation by asking about them, he seemed almost taken aback.

  ‘Oh, we don’t get along,’ he said, looking awkward for the first time. ‘My sister and I were adopted when we were very young, and everything was OK when we were little, but then my mum got ill and my dad spent most of his time looking after her. Polly and I were kind of left to our own devices.’

  ‘Oh.’ Ashley’s eyes were practically brimming with tears. ‘Is your mum OK? Is she still ill?’

  Ade shrugged. ‘She has a disease of the nervous system. It means she can’t move around much by herself and now her brain is affected.’

  ‘That’s awful …’

  ‘Poor woman …’ Luca’s and my words collided together.

  ‘Yeah. It’s hard for her.’ Ade looked as though he would rather be talking about something else. ‘It’s hard for all of us.’

  ‘What’s your mum’s name?’ I asked. ‘My parents might know her.’

  ‘I doubt it,’ he said quickly. ‘The two of them have hardly been out of the house in ten years.’

  ‘Still,’ I persisted. ‘My mum might know—’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ Ade snapped. ‘She’s hardly the most sociable of women.’

  There was an awful silence. I looked down at my menu. I had obviously hit a very raw nerve. The funny thing was, Ade seemed more irritated by his mother’s illness than concerned or upset.

  ‘Polly talks a lot about you,’ Ade said to me then, amiably now.

  ‘Oh?’ I lifted my head. ‘We kind of got off on the wrong foot.’

  ‘She really li
kes you.’ Ade smiled. ‘Jane this, Jane that …’

  I could feel Luca’s eyes on me. I made a self-deprecating face.

  ‘I hardly know her really. I’m just trying to help her find her way around college, you know, get back on track.’

  Ade smiled. ‘Personally I think she should stay the course and get her qualifications, but she seems intent on leaving home as soon as she can.’

  ‘With you.’ I studied him. ‘Don’t you two have some kind of plan?’

  ‘Polly is a bit of a dreamer,’ said Ade. ‘She’s had a tough time and she has this idea that she and I will be better off without Mum and Dad.’ He looked sad, all of a sudden, and beneath his intense blue eyes there were shadows.

  I glanced over at Ashley, who was listening intently. Ade had barely noticed her for the last twenty minutes. I wondered if Polly had been right about him needing a girlfriend. It didn’t look like it to me. Beside me Luca shifted in his seat. I knew without looking at him that he was uncomfortable.

  ‘Ashley is a twin,’ he said suddenly to Ade. ‘Did you know that?’

  ‘Really?’ Ade turned to her, his expression working hard at being interested. ‘So there are two of you beautiful creatures prowling the corridors of that college?’

  Ashley giggled uncertainly. She felt out of her depth, I could see that. Ade’s eyes flickered over her dismissively before returning to his menu.

  ‘You and Polly,’ Ashley went on. ‘You look like twins. I mean – you look so alike.’

  Ade stiffened slightly, still studying his menu. ‘We’re brother and sister,’ he said after a pause. ‘I’ve heard there can be a physical resemblance between siblings.’

  The air was stiff with his sarcasm. Ashley’s face dropped, confused, while Luca moved angrily next to me.

  ‘Asshole,’ he said, just loud enough for Ade to hear.

  Ade looked up. ‘What did you call me?’ His eyes narrowed and his face grew taut, as though all the muscles stood to attention, and there was the faintest of tension tics in his neck. Pushing his hair back off his face, he did have an almost animal-like expression.

  ‘I don’t know who you think you are. If this is your idea of a joke – acting cool and actually downright rude – it isn’t funny to treat people like that.’ Luca’s tone was quietly furious.

  Ashley had gone pale. I smiled at her across the table. She shifted away from Ade, taking hold of her bag.

  ‘I think I’ll go now,’ she said quietly, grappling for her coat, which had become squashed underneath her.

  ‘You should stay,’ said Luca, his eyes rooted on Ade. ‘You haven’t done anything wrong.’

  Ade held up his hands. ‘Look, I think we’ve all got off on the wrong foot here. I’m sorry. I’ve had a hard day. Just before I came out, my mother – well, she needed my help, and she and Polly had had some kind of row … My dad has the night off tonight. He has one night a week for himself. And my mum, she can be difficult.’ He turned to look at Ashley. ‘I didn’t meant to hurt your feelings.’

  Ashley nodded, but resumed wrestling with her coat. ‘That’s fine. Still, I’d better go.’ She managed a weak smile. ‘And I’m sorry about your mum. It can’t be very easy.’

  ‘Ashley, don’t go.’ Ade touched her shoulder. ‘I’m really sorry. I’ve been told I don’t make a great first impression. Please,’ he pleaded with her. ‘I’d like you to stay if you can forgive me?’

  Still flinty-eyed, Luca watched Ade’s every move, but I felt myself softening towards the boy – he looked genuinely remorseful. Perhaps we had misjudged him. And it did explain Polly’s aggression. I nudged Luca.

  ‘Why don’t we start again?’ I said brightly. ‘Let’s order some pizza. I’m starving.’

  Ashley looked uncertain, but stopped putting her coat on.

  ‘Luca?’ I stared at the side of his head.

  He sighed, finally switching his gaze from Ade to me. ‘OK, then.’ He picked up a menu and looked quickly at the list. ‘Margherita for me.’

  I pushed away my plate. Turned out I hadn’t really had much of an appetite, I’d only managed to eat a third of my pizza. Ashley had nibbled at the salad she’d ordered. Only the boys had eaten everything on their plates. Typical. Nothing seems to come between a boy and his appetite.

  ‘So.’ I turned to Ade. ‘You’re not taking Polly with you, when you leave home?’

  He shook his head. ‘It’s better that she finishes her education. She’ll understand that eventually.’

  ‘Right now she seems pretty convinced she’s going with you.’ I felt a bit bad about this line of questioning. Some double date this had turned out to be. But maybe it was a good chance to get to know the mysterious Ade and, through him, his angry little sister Polly. I’d been watching him subtly as I ate, while he made small talk with Ashley, and she was right, the resemblance between them was striking. Polly’s hair was a few shades lighter, but their features – delicate, sharply feline, and the piercing blue of their eyes – was almost identical. Even the number of freckles across their noses. They really could be twins.

  Ade looked troubled. ‘Like I said, Polly’s not had an easy time. She’s never got on with our parents; she relied on me for company, support, that kind of thing. For her, the fact that Mum and Dad were not our blood relatives, well, it was impossible for her to bond with them.’ He lifted his chin, and his eyes drifted over to Luca beside me and they seemed to harden a little. I frowned.

  ‘Go on. Polly’s …’

  ‘She’s disturbed.’ He tapped his head pointedly. ‘You know, emotionally volatile.’

  ‘Is she also disloyal?’ Luca cut in icily. ‘Like you are.’

  Ade didn’t react, his expression stayed impassive.

  ‘I’d like to help Polly,’ I said. ‘Encourage her to stay at school. But it’s hard. She doesn’t like me much, that’s obvious …’ I stopped, realizing that six curious eyes were upon me.

  ‘But she asked you to set Ade up on a date,’ said Ashley. ‘She must have trusted you.’

  Luca reached over and put his hand over mine, and I caught Ade’s expression grow hard as he watched.

  ‘Oh, she really thinks you’re something special,’ Ade said cryptically. ‘I told you that she talks about you a lot.’ He smirked. ‘Ad nauseum, in fact.’ Only the new warmth in his tone told me he was joking.

  ‘I think you’re exaggerating,’ I said uneasily.

  He shook his head, chasing a solitary caper around his plate. ‘Not at all. And now that I’ve met you I can see exactly what she means. You are something special.’ He glanced over to Luca. ‘I don’t need to tell you that, though, do I, Luca?’

  I knew it was taking every ounce of Luca’s self-control not to rise to Ade’s provocation. The only sign of his anger was his leg trembling beneath the table.

  ‘What’s the matter with you?’ Ashley suddenly rose from her seat, putting both hands on the table in agitation. ‘You arrive late, you’re rude to me and to my friends, you’re totally flirting with Jane, and now you’re goading Luca into some kind of fight.’ She glared at Ade. ‘I’m sorry you’re adopted and you don’t like your parents, and I am truly sorry that your mother is so ill. But you’re behaving like an asshole, Luca’s right!’

  Ade looked startled and a little impressed. His mouth hung open as he saw Ashley with new eyes. I couldn’t help a small smile myself.

  ‘You’re right,’ he said, and then he took her hand gently, coaxing her into sitting down again. ‘I am an asshole. And you deserve better.’ He shook his head. ‘Polly is always saying I’m rubbish when it comes to socializing. I think she hoped I might have better manners tonight.’ Still holding Ashley’s hand, he cocked his head to the side. ‘How about a picnic, just the two of us on Sunday? Do you think you could give me another chance?’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ she said firmly. ‘I already gave you a chance earlier and you’ve blown it. But I agree with you on one thing: I can so do better.’

  She gra
bbed her bag and her coat and got up from the table. I could see she was trembling. I was just about to reach over and slap Ade’s face, when he rose from his seat, catching Ashley’s bag, halting her in her tracks.

  ‘Please,’ he said, ‘allow me to show you I am not all bad. One more chance? Ashley?’

  Ashley looked back at him, her face twitching with indecision. Ade had turned up the charm to maximum and really looked like he meant every word. That, and the fact that I could tell she thought he was majorly hot, made her relent.

  ‘OK.’ Then she said, a little petulantly, ‘But you’d better be on your best behaviour next time. I don’t date assholes.’

  ‘Noted.’ He bowed his head sullenly and then something seemed to pass between them. I hoped it was mutual respect.

  ‘We’ll take you home, Ashley,’ said Luca, getting to his feet.

  ‘Yep.’ I stood too, looking quickly at Ade. ‘You two go to the car. I just want to talk to Ade about Polly.’

  Luca frowned at me. ‘OK. But don’t be long.’ He could hardly bring himself to look at Ade. ‘We’ll be outside. Right outside.’

  ‘Sure.’ I smiled reassuringly. ‘I’ll be two minutes.’

  ‘Fine.’

  Giving me a final worried look, Luca followed Ashley to the door. I waited until they were both outside before I turned on Ade.

  ‘What the hell was that?’ I said, all my anger rising to the surface now the others had gone. ‘I did Polly a favour. I didn’t want to. But she seems to think you’re just a shy loner who needs to meet the right girl.’ I shook my head at him. ‘How well do you and your sister really know each other, I wonder?’

  Maybe it was because we were alone and Ade wasn’t under such scrutiny, but the strutting alpha-male was gone. And in his place stood an awkward, hulking boy – albeit one with the looks of some kind of classical god. He shuffled his feet, taking in a deep breath, finally looking me in the eyes.

  ‘She knows me better than I know myself,’ he said, his voice gentle now, and serious. ‘She knew I needed to find exactly the right girl. She knew that once I saw you I wouldn’t be satisfied with someone like Ashley.’ He rubbed at his head, as though trying to find the right words to continue. ‘She’s your friend and she’s obviously pretty, in an insipid kind of way. But next to you … Well, it’s as though the plain daisy had been planted near a rare, beautiful orchid.‘